Being the Godssent
by Madrigal of Rose
Summary: Gwendolyn Jade Lumen is a modern girl asked by the Gods to make the leap from unimportant nobody to the Godssent and World Jumper to a world that has only been a fictional story to her. Utterly alone, dropped in Tortall with no direction, with an immunity to all Gifts from the Gods, who can she trust? Rated T for violence and adult situations. Containing most of your favorites.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I give Tamora Pierce all of the credit for all of the characters and places except Gwen. Gwen belongs to me.

Jonathon of Conte, King of Tortall was a very sure of himself type of man. Every single decision he made, he was certain of. He was certain because he knew he had great intuition, great advisers, and a great support system. His people loved him, his enemies feared him, and his blood lines were running strong. He controlled the Dominion Jewel; he had the Lioness for his champion, the feared King's Own as his guards, the Peerless as his wife, and the Protector of the Small at his command. He was The Voice of the Bazhir tribes, the ruler of a kingdom that had survived a war with Tusaine, Immortals, and Scanra. He survived two treasons that had meant to overthrow his family. His kingdom was rich, his people happy, his coffers full. Yes, he was sure of himself.

"Sire," Jonathon turned from looking out the window to see a shorter man, round in the stomach with a long beard that still held hints of its auburn color among the gray. This was Sir Myles of Olau, his spymaster, mentor, and the adoptive father of the Lioness.

"What is it now Myles? Is Raoul attempting to disappear again? He knows the Midsummer celebrations are coming up." Jonathon smiled knowing his friend's aversion to puff and pomp even after he had married Thayet's guard, Buri.

"No, not that I've heard of yet. This is bigger than that." Myles didn't shift from foot to foot or sound the least bit nervous. He was always calm in the face of news that might terrify a greater man. "Something interesting happened in the temple district today. You might want to fetch your advisors and your wife and son."

"We'll meet in my study then." Jonathon felt that tug at his gut telling him that something big was happening but he knew, as a confident man, that he would maintain control in this situation.

Twenty minutes later Jonathon sat with his main advisers: Gareth the Younger of Naxen, Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, Alanna the Lioness, Baron George Cooper of Pirate's Swoop, Duke Baird of Queenscove, Duke Turomot of Wellam, his queen Thayet, and his son Roald. He noted that the Captain of the Provost was missing but Myles didn't seem concerned by that. Instead Myles waited until everyone was settled in and done complaining about being pulled away from whatever they had been doing after dinner.

"Early this morning a priest or priestess from every temple came out into the streets declaring messages from their respective patrons." Myles stopped to take a sip from his cup.

"It's not unusual for the gods to send messages." Jonathon grinned at Myles' folly.

"No it is not unusual. It is unusual that every single priest and priestess received the same message at the same time. It is unusual that there are so many." Myles looked up at the room of people. "Their message is what concerns us, concerns the people that have heard these priests and priestesses speak. They are talking of the gods sending a person from another world, a more advanced world, to our world to advise us in changes that must happen."

"The gods are sending someone from a more advanced world?" Raoul sat up suddenly more alert. "Are we certain they are coming here, to Tortall?"

"That seems to be the consensus." Myles had spent the morning listening to every statement trying to sift all of the meaning he could out of every image the prophets had seen. "If I am not mistaken, sent to Corus to be exact, though not a single mention of why or when exactly. Only that it would be soon and with Midsummer coming up, I would bet my beard that they will be delivered by then."

"We must prepare for him then," Jonathon sat up quickly.

"What if it's a woman, Jon?" Alanna turned to look at her king with her eyebrows raised.

"What better to insight change in the world than a woman," Thayet grinned into her cup. Certainly the biggest changes in Tortall had come from woman in contemporary history. Alanna opened the door for women to come back to the world of knights, Thayet had created schools for the poor, a place for ladies to fight, and the Riders, and Keladry of Mindelan had been a catalyst for change since she had been ten years old.

"I have a strong feeling it will be a man," Jonathon tried. "And we shall be prepared to welcome him to Tortall in style."

It felt strange, like a dream that she consciously controlled. It felt silly to her that she would have lucid dreams now. People trained their minds for long periods of time to control their dreams. She had never had the patience for any such training. And this was unlike any dream she had ever had before. Lucid dreams usually began with something familiar like a familiar object or place. This place was one she had never seen before.

This was a gray and white marble great hall, with no walls, and large pillars rising up to the ceiling. Looking up she saw the pillars seemed to be supporting the universe. Stars swirled around in bright reds, silvers, blues, and purples. It was better than any picture the Hubble telescope had ever produced. She knew she could spend forever staring at the heavens around her except something brushed by her leg making her jump.

_Well, are you coming or not?_ A black cat rubbed against her leg as it passed. Its voice was male and she was amused at the idea that she wasn't the least bit concerned by a talking cat. It looked up at her expectantly with purple eyes and she found herself reminded of novels she had read by Tamora Pierce and committed to memory thousands of times over. Well she supposed if she was going to control a dream, Tortall would of course be the first place she would go. But the cat known as Faithful was usually long back in the heavens in the part she wanted to go to in her dreams.

"Alright, but I don't know where we are going. Or where we are for that matter." She shrugged already knowing the cat wouldn't answer. It wasn't important, so long as she just followed Faithful. He padded in front of her, leading through the expanse of marble flooring and pillars.

The closer they got to wherever they were going, the more she felt that this might not exactly be a dream. It felt important and strangely right that she was in this great hall in the middle of the universe. And it felt right that the cat, the one animal she always felt connected to, was leading her to towards whatever she needed to be doing.

In front of her thrones seemed to rise out of the marble. There were two gigantic thrones that were empty with two slightly smaller thrones next to them. More thrones in varying sizes, colors, and designs stretched around her, surrounding her and the cat. The two largest occupied thrones held an impossibly tall man and woman. The man was black skinned, bald, and was wearing golden armor. The woman was white skinned, ebony haired, and impossibly beautiful. Green and black eyes fixed on her and she heard whispering she didn't know had been happening stop.

"Gwendolyn Jade Lumen, you are summoned before the Gods of a world you have only known as a story." The man, Mithros she decided, spoke with an air of arrogance.

_As if I couldn't tell_, her mind snapped with a sarcastic remark. Her face remained impassive as she hoped he couldn't hear her mind.

"While no doubt you are needed in your world, our world has greater need of you." The woman, the Goddess she assumed, addressed her. "We need you and your experience to help our world accept changes that must happen."

This certainly sounded like a dream. Why would see be needed? There wasn't anything particularly wonderful about her. She wasn't beautiful by her world's standards. She wasn't a genius on any subject or a commander of any type. What she did have was a flexibility to adapt, resilience in many situations, a stubbornness that often left her defending her side even if she was alone, a bit of empathy, and a love of learning.

_In your world you are one of seven billion,_ the cat in front of her turned to fix her with a stare. _Your skills are yours, but you could step away from your world and it would have no impact. It is sad, but true. Here you can make an impact and it won't require large sums of money and selling yourself out._

"You will be the Godssent, the World Jumper. These will be your titles. Your word shall be listened to by kings and emperors. You will be adored by many. That is, if you decide to take it." The Goddess spoke again.

A battle raged inside of her head. She had never felt right at home. For twenty-two years she was the black sheep of her family if only because of an active imagination and a love of things not quite fitting for the era she was in. Her friends were more of acquaintances that would see her when she was around, forget her when she was out of sight, and didn't speak to her unless she initiated the conversation by phone or computer. Her only real comfort was in books and writing.

But this was Tortall. While there was magic and it would be like a renaissance festival that never closed and the characters never stopped acting in this world. She knew the people here, knew their thought processes, their pasts, their deepest secrets and emotions. But maybe it was well past those people. Maybe those people were long dead.

And this was Tortall. She would have to do things that she had relied on modern technology for. Even things as simple as having disposable paper for writing and self-inking pens were gone from thought processes. Her favorite past times like baking, singing, and dancing were not the same here. What she knew as music would probably offend people here. What she thought of as dancing people here would find hyper sexualized at worst, silly at best. Baking would be difficult without an oven, hand mixer, or chemical leveners.

But she might learn to appreciate what she liked before with more hard work. Perhaps she would learn some valuable life skills and how to depend solely on herself. Perhaps she would find a person she liked being for once. Perhaps she would be the change for women and the lower classes. She could be the voice that might be heeded about equality and the pitfalls of pretending equality wasn't needed.

And then she was imagining telling nobility that she was the Godssent and they had better shut up and listen to her. It brought a smile to her face. She imagined sitting with royalty advising them on policy and changes that needed to take place. She imagined traveling all over, talking with the people and becoming important. She wasn't even aware that she stepped forward as she thought. Only when she found herself feet from the Great Gods did she stop and realize she had made a decision.

"Where in the world and when in Tortall history will I be dropped?" She asked, hoping to know of someone.

"Four years after Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan defeated Blayce the Gallan. We will bring you to the palace in Tortall, not that you will belong to Tortall mind. You will do great things for this world. Remember that." Mithros spoke again, this time without so much arrogance in his voice. Surely he knew this was exactly what she wanted. "If that is acceptable, prepare yourself."

"Prepare myself how?" She felt her nerves prickle like sitting at the top of a roller coaster. In Daine's books they said that when the gods transported mortals to the mortal realms they tended to get ill. She definitely didn't want to spend her first days in Tortall ill.

_You will be making your first impression on a nation. It is usually customary to not look like you rolled out of bed to get there._ The cat informed her and she thought of the irony of a cat making that statement.

Instantly a mirror appeared in front of her and she saw how she looked. Her dark chestnut hair was loose and tangled over her shoulders and down her chest. Her pale face and tired leaf green eyes were unadorned, make up long worn off. Her clothes were the same she had worn to bed: baggy black pajama pants and a tank top. Surely that isn't how she wanted to look when being presented to a nation. But how did she want to look? What did one wear to be presented to a world?

At first she thought of a grand gown in silver and gold cloth, hair and make up done up to the nines. But immediately she realized that wasn't practical. She didn't necessarily want to present herself as a lady of court because men at court usually considered ladies to be weak and technically property. No she didn't want to be a lady. Then she thought of wearing armor, hair left hanging down over full plate mail, and laughed at her folly. Plate mail was heavy and it would probably weigh too much for her. Besides, she wasn't a warrior and didn't want to be one. Then an image popped into mind that she knew was right. She would wear blue jeans, her favorite black boots with the short thick heel, the shirt she saw was a looser white linen with long loose sleeves that had a wide draping neck revealing a tank top the same color as her eyes. A wide black belt cinched the shirt at her waist. Her hair she would have back in a knot to keep it out of the way. It was important they see her face. And her face would have the barest minimum of make up with just a light coat of foundation and some mascara to make her eyes more pronounced. Around her neck, a necklace she had made of a piece of black leather and a large green, gold, and blue bead shaped like a leaf. As she settled on the thought the image in the mirror shifted and she saw what she had pictured.

Looking down at her clothes she saw that the image was true. She no longer wore her night things but instead wore the outfit she had imagined. Reaching up she realized her hair was pulled back into a tight knot, though she had not felt it leave her shoulders nor could remember the feeling of it on her shoulders from before. Some part of her questioned if it was a dream still. Surely she would have felt the clothing change on her body or her hair being pulled back. Surely she would have noticed the changes. But these were gods and this was their world. Didn't Daine's mother pull a section of a door frame to be a chair when they rescued Numair and Daine? Then certainly they could adjust her clothing without her noticing. What else would they do to her in this world?

"Am I subject to you in this world?" The words left her mouth before she could stop them. Around her she saw the gods hesitate. Even the lesser ones seemed a little uneasy. It seemed to be a question that they had been worried she would ask.

"You are not exactly subject to us. Since you are not a subject of this world you are protected in a sense. We can manipulate the things around you but not you directly. That includes things such as the Gift." The Goddess explained.

"So I can be shielded from an attack because that goes on the ground around me. But I cannot be healed by the Gift if the shield fails." Gwen knew what kind of problem that could be. This was a violent world. Yes her world was violent but even in the books this world seemed more likely to be the end of someone. Weapons seemed more readily available to anyone and detecting weapons was harder. But there was also no magic in her world. Her people depended on modern medicine and surgical practices. They did those sorts of things in this place too. Maybe not the more complicated open heart surgeries but they did stitches and splits and things she would more likely need. And they had medicine. Wasn't willow bark tea just a liquid aspirin anyway?

"From what we gather – yes. We don't know exactly if the Gift will have effects on you in other senses either." Mithros seemed unhappy as he said the words. From what Gwen could guess he just didn't like not knowing.

"It's worth a test among friends I guess." She sighed. "That is, if I choose to reveal it." Gwen smiled. It could be useful if she was immune to illusions, truth spells, or magical torture. She saw a smile light on what she could only assume was the Crooked God's face. "When do I go?"

Instantly she saw a doorway rise up out of the marble. At first all she could see was the cosmos beyond the empty door as it rose. Only when the door had become tall enough for Gwen could she see through it. In the distance she could see glittering lights of the palace in the dark and rolling hills of grass. It seemed she would be stepping on to the palace grounds but outside of the buildings. Then the scene changed to a stone corridor lit by glowing orbs along the walls. Maybe she would step foot inside of the palace after all.


	2. Chapter 2

She stepped up to the door. Here was the moment of truth. Something told her that if this was a dream, she would wake as she stepped through the door. Dreams had a funny way of waking up at major transitions. If she made through to the other side, she might pinch herself just to make sure. If she felt pain and didn't shoot up out of bed, then she there was absolutely no question that she was in Tortall and this really wasn't a dream. It did her no good to look back as she stepped through the door. Looking back, she felt, would tell the gods she might regret what she was doing, and she didn't. She might miss things at some point but this also felt right and as the door disappeared behind her in the warm summer night of Tortall she felt a bubble of uncontrolled happiness rise up from her stomach. In any other situation she may have squealed with joy. But the need to remain quiet kept her held back enough to only let a wide grin appear on her face.

Her feet touched the stone floor and her eyes adjusted to the flickering torch lights lining the stone hallway. Turning, she saw the cosmos disappear behind her leaving only more corridor. She did not wake up. She gripped a bit of skin on the inside of her wrist and pinched until she felt pain; she did not wake up. She was in Tortall and this wasn't a dream. Reality dawned on her that this was real. She was utterly alone without a friend in a world she had only known through fictional books. She wondered for a moment if revealing what she knew about each person would be a benefit to her, if it would solidify her validity as the Godssent. The thought lasted only several seconds before she noted her own foolishness. Not everyone she would meet would have been mentioned in the books or even mentioned in detail, and sooner or later it would come back and bite her in the behind for not knowing as much about one person as another with no explanation she cared to give. No she had to keep that information to herself like a secret hidden dictionary.

Suddenly voices caught her attention, men's voices speaking in muted tones. Turning forward again and looking down the hall she saw brighter light spilling out from a cracked door. She took an easy guess that the voices were coming from there. Her skin prickled as she inched down the hall towards the door knowing she was about to make contact with her first Tortallans. She certainly didn't feel ready but at the same time it was silly to stand in the corridor not knowing what she should do. As she got closer to the door she started to make out the conversation and nearly blushed when she realized it was actually about her. She moved just a little closer to hear better.

"Shouldn't the Godssent have been here by now? The prophets spoke of their arrival over a week ago." A clear, deep, voice sounded anxious as it grumbled.

"Maybe we should scry for him?" A second man's voice pressed. "Alanna, Numair, or even you Jon. Maybe he's already in the city and no one knows him for what he is yet."

"We don't know what to look for. We don't even know what he looks like." The first voice said. There was a sigh and a long pause. Gwen felt the tiniest bit of sting to her pride that they seemed to believe the Godssent would be a man. "Are we prepared if he shows up? We need to make sure he knows he is welcome and honored."

"The Godssent will have a fine suite of rooms in the most secluded part of the palace, furnished with only the best. They will be showered in gifts from all of the noble houses. They will eat only the best foods and wear the finest clothing we can get." Another man's voice droned sounding far more bored and distracted than the first two voices.

"They will be have at least two members of the Own on hand at all times to do whatever they need done and to guard them from any threat." A fourth man with a pleasant soft voice added. She had a guess at the owner of that voice and inched a little closer to the door wanting to get a look at the famed Lord Raoul the Giantkiller. She had certainly always been a fan of him. She was almost to the door when something made her pause.

"Wait," a fifth voice with a slight lilt to it made the conversation stop. She heard the rustle of cloth and then a head poked out of the doorway and hazel eyes narrowed as they met hers. She caught herself thinking his nose seemed slightly too big for overly handsome but he was good looking. "Eavesdropping on a royal advisers meeting isn't good for your health lass." The man's voice was dangerously low and too quiet for the people inside to have heard. He stepped out into the hallway completely and closed the door to the meeting going on inside.

"I wouldn't be dropping eaves if the gods had dropped me outside like the doorway originally showed me." Gwen planted her hands on her hips and glared at the man. She admitted to herself that it was true. She wouldn't have been in the right place at the right time to hear such information if she had been dropped outside. It didn't matter that she had had to get closer to the door from where they had put her to actually listen in.

"The gods dropped you off," she felt the slightest annoyance that his comment sounded a bit like disbelief but then his eyes swept over her clothes and she knew she certainly wasn't wearing anything common for, well, anyone in their world. "The Godssent." He whispered the words as he eyes went wide. After another moment of staring at her, he shook his head and offered a hand to her and she took it, giving his large hand a firm squeeze.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? It's fairly late." Gwen thought over her response. She really wasn't all that hungry though she should have been. It had been nearly twelve hours her time since her last meal, in Tortall time it had been days if not weeks. She wasn't all that tired since the gods had stolen her from her sleep.

"Maybe something to drink?" She asked wondering where exactly that would go. She didn't drink tea and she didn't drink alcohol. That only left her fruit juice and water it seemed. She realized, dully, that he still held her hand.

"What's your name lass?" She was beyond a shadow of a doubt certain the man in front of her was none other than Baron George Cooper of Pirates Swoop, also known as the Whisper Man and the former Rogue. If he decided to like her, he would be an invaluable ally. If he didn't like her, she didn't stand much of a chance.

"Gwendolyn Jade Lumen, Gwen," she offered George a smile. He opened the door again and pulled her into the room. The room went suddenly silent as they entered and Gwen tried to keep her attention focused on George as many eyes turned to stare at her. If this was in fact a royal advisers meeting, then she was most likely in the presence of many very powerful people in this particular realm. She felt a blush rise up to her cheeks and she squashed it down hoping she looked serene if anything. She could feel many things in the room all at once: arrogance was most of it, but also fear, boredom, curiosity, and anger. She hoped she was imagining most of it but she knew she probably wasn't. She could feel emotions in the very air sometimes if they were felt strongly enough or if she really concentrated on someone.

"What's your drink of choice?" George asked as he set her down in an oversize arm-chair next to the fire.

"You wouldn't happen to have some juice about?" Her voice felt too soft and she felt afraid. If George didn't approve of her, he could have her poisoned on the floor in seconds.

"Certainly." He went over to a table against one wall and began the long process of getting her a cup and then pouring the drink seemingly as slow as he could. The rest of the people in the room kept watching her and Gwen resisted the urge to check her hair and smooth her clothing. George returned to her side and gave her the cup. He winked at her and she brought the cup to her lips to sip at the cold cider that swished around inside.

"Thank you." She kept her eyes lowered.

"It seems like we may have prepared for the wrong Godssent, Sire," George grinned addressing the rest of the room. "Miss Gwen here was left in the hallway by the gods just a few minutes ago." She heard an audible intake of breath go around the room. Certainly she didn't look like much. She was small boned leaving people to think her weak. She was young but she often looked younger, sometimes more than just a few years. At that exact moment she remembered getting ready for prom and getting her makeup done professionally. A woman passing the counter stopped to ask where she was going so dolled up. When she replied 'prom', the lady had only smiled at her and turned to her friend 'I thought she was twelve or thirteen,' she had said thinking that the subject of her conversation couldn't hear her. She had in fact been seventeen. At the time she had laughed it off. Now if they guessed her to be younger than eighteen they might be worried for their futures more so than they already were. Even if they guessed accurately at twenty-two she still was very young.

"Miss Gwen is the Godssent." She looked up from her cup to see a man in his mid-forties with black hair, bright blue eyes, and when she focused on him directly she felt a lot of arrogance radiating from him. His voice had been the first voice she had heard from the hallway. He also did not sound like he believed George's words. It put her on the defensive fairly quickly, and she felt a blush rise up to her cheeks that she could not push back down. She sipped at her cider to try to calm herself down.

"Yes, Miss Gwen is the Godssent." George assured everyone. When no one seemed to move for some time, a portly man with a full graying beard stood up and walked over to her and bowed.

"I am Sir Myles of Olau. Allow me to introduce you to the people in this room. The man you met in the hallway is Baron George Cooper of Pirate's Swoop. His wife and my adoptive daughter is Sir Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau." He pointed to a red-headed woman with purple eyes. "King Jonathon of Conte, his son the Crowned Prince Roald of Conte, and Queen Thayet." He pointed out the royal family in the room, all seated together. "This is Sir Gareth of Naxen the Prime Minister. Lord Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, Knight Commander of King's Own." He pointed to the two largest men in the room. "Numair Salmalin," a long, thin man in his late thirties with black hair tied back and a very attentive look on his face. "And this is Duke Baird of Queenscove, he's the Chief Royal Healer. And this man is Lord Imrah of Legann."

She made sure to fix the faces with names she knew so well. Many of them looked how she imagined, but others caught her by surprise. She knew that Jonathon was supposed to be handsome but he looked somewhat creepy to her, but that could also have been an immediate dislike of his tone towards her. Sometimes that had a way of tainting someone's physical looks in her mind. Roald on the other hand looked very handsome and more filled out than she had originally thought and Thayet was indeed a very beautiful woman. Alanna was indeed short but Gwen knew that size didn't matter much. Myles looked like the absent minded but very happy college professor she always had felt he was. Duke Baird exuded a feeling of calmness that she was certain came from years of being a competent healer. Imrah looked tough but she also sensed a soft side he probably reserved for his family and close friends. Every single person in the room was someone mentioned in the books. She was actually well in the know when it came to royal advisers. But some were missing. She expected to see Buri, Daine, Princess Shinko, maybe a Minchi of some kind, and whoever the Lord Provost was at this time.

"Well we shall have to rethink how we had your suite designed then." Thayet acknowledged with a genuine smile plastered to her face. "Now is that outfit all you have? Let's take measurements tonight then. Roald? Be a dear and fetch my measuring cord and something to write down her measurements." Roald nodded and hurried out before Thayet could even blink after her sentence ended.

Gwen sat quiet uncomfortably for several very long minutes with everyone staring at her and the King himself somewhat glaring at her. His attitude irked her. Clearly he didn't like a young woman being the Godssent. Would it have been any different, she wondered, if she had been a man walking into this room. Would she have been celebrated rather than feel like she was on trial? She bit back comment after comment flipping through her mind, saved as Roald came back with a slate, chalk, and a length of knotted cord.

Thayet asked Gwen to stand, had her go into a smaller room and took measurements of her shoulders, bust, waist, hips, total height, length of her waist, length of legs, and then measured her feet. She wrote everything down but said little to the girl in front of her. Then they were back inside the main room and she was left sitting in front of the advisers again.

"We shall have to find you a guest room to sleep in for the night." The King said finally. It seemed like they had discussed her while she and Thayet had been out of the room. "Myles, will you take charge of her for now? Good. There is a lot of planning to, well, to redo." Jonathon stood and left the room and the others filtered out leaving Gwen alone with Myles.

"I don't like him," she hissed looking at the door when it clicked shut. She heard Myles chuckle next to her.

"I believe he could say the same about you right now. Though it has nothing to do with you. He just doesn't like being wrong and the women in his life won't let him forget this. Try not to take it too personally." He patted her arm. "Now, I'll only take a little bit more of your time. I'm sure you must be at least a little tired."


	3. Chapter 3

Myles took her arm and led her out of the room. In the time they walked to an open guest room, Myles had her favorites from her favorite colors, her favorite flowers, her favorite animals, her hobbies, her favorite foods, drinks, scents, even her favorite gemstones. She was surprised they did not see another soul about as the walk took them nearly ten minutes. Maybe it really was very late and even the servants were in bed, but surely there were guards that patrolled the halls at night. But if they were about, they seemed to be conveniently missing from every turn they took. By the time Myles opened the door to the room she would be in, she sensed he had plans already forming in his mind for her.

Gwen found herself in a room with a small twin sized bed, a mirror, stand with a basin, window, an empty closet, and a privy. There would be absolutely nothing in this room for her to do but look out of the window and sleep. That wouldn't have been a problem but she wasn't tired enough to sleep and she doubted she would be much involved in the creating of her own room. She would have to do something in that time. "Correct me if I guess wrong, but I assume that I will be in here most of the day tomorrow with nothing much to do but wait."

"That would be a good assumption. I'm sure Jon won't want you running about the palace with everyone else about before he has a chance to officially announce you. If anything you'll be here until late tomorrow night to minimize the number of people that will see you." Gwen nodded her understanding.

"Might you supply me with a book or something to do then? I have a feeling I'll be awfully bored tomorrow with nothing else to do." She smiled when he did and waited for him to say he would have something brought to her in the morning. With that Myles left her and Gwen locked the door, feeling like the latch was at least something she could do to protect herself from, well, from who knew what. Things just seemed to happen in this place when one didn't prepare. Speaking of prepared, she was not in much of any type of shape to survive this realm. Back home she had danced for exercise but that probably wasn't enough to make her up to all of the hard work she expected to do.

She stripped off her belt, over shirt, and boots before deciding on a routine. She would start with twenty pushups, fifty crunches, and then jumping jacks until she couldn't stand to do anymore. Whatever this would actually accomplish, she wasn't too certain, but it was at least something to wear her out and make her feel slightly more prepared. Exhausted after her work out, she stripped off her jeans and put them with her other clothes before falling into bed and attempting to sleep.

Sleep wasn't easy for her. She rarely slept well in unfamiliar places by herself, and even with others she sometimes didn't feel comfortable enough to sleep. This certainly was an unfamiliar place. Her mind kept going to the lock on the door. How easy would it be for someone to pick the lock, magic it open, or even bust down the door altogether? Probably fairly easily. Were those footsteps in the hallway outside of her door? It was probably just the guards, but did the guards know who they were walking past. Did they even know this room was occupied? Did it even matter? Eventually sleep came, her dreams filled with the images of the people she had met, the information she knew about each of them, and her feelings about them after meeting them in person.

Morning came and habit woke her just before the bell tower tolled. She assumed she would get used to the bells every hour during the day and she certainly would have to get used to telling time by bells. For now, she assumed because she had woken herself up, that is was seven or so in the morning. Not knowing exactly when breakfast would arrive, she got up, opened the shuttered to let in air and light, and decided to do more exercises because there was little else to do and it would be good to get into some sort of schedule with exercises. Maybe she would ask Myles to introduce her to a Shang to give her some better ideas for a routine. She supposed she would need to be able to express what exactly she would wish to do before she got a routine that would help. By the time she got to thirty jumping jacks, she heard a knock on the door. She was quick to pull on her jeans before she went to the door. She opened it just a crack to see the very handsome Roald with a glum looking man pushing a cart.

"Miss Gwen," he smiled at her and then took in her appearance. She was sweating somewhat from her exercises, her clothes tight against her body, and panting slightly. "I thought you might want a little company with breakfast." She opened the door wider and let him in.

"I'm afraid there's not much of a place to eat." She sighed wishing she could be somewhat of a good host in the room that was given to her.

"I thought of that," Roald stepped aside and waved someone else in the hallway forward. Three men dressed in royal gold and red came into the room, their faces closed, and their hands holding chairs and a small table. She guessed that these guards were told who they were moving furniture around the palace for by the glances they kept giving her. "And remember," Roald told them after they set down the furniture. "Not a word until she is announced." With that the guards scattered and then the glum looking serving man came forward with a cart and filled the table with two covered plates, cups, and a pitcher of what appeared to be juice.

"Thank you," she touched the servants arm so he knew she was addressing him. His eyes went wide at her addressing of him but he managed to nod before he turned to go to the door.

"And remember," Roald started.

"Not a word until the lady is announced." The man's voice even sounded glum but Roald nodded to his repeating of the phrase before he left.

"Please have a seat." Roald indicated she should take the seat he held out for her but she only shook her head and took the seat across the table that he had probably intended for himself. Doing this accomplished two things in her mind. It would show her how the crowned prince, the next ruler of Tortall, would adapt to change in his expectations. Already she knew his father didn't seem to handle change well. And secondly the change of seating ensured that if he was attempting to poison her or slip drugs to her, she was in the seat he did not expect her to be. Though she questioned if drugs would work on her as well. Certainly some of them would not work as well as they would have to require some type of magic to work.

Roald seemed to pause for a moment as she sat down, he cocked his head to the side as he looked her over and then smiled and took the seat. "You did that on purpose." He accused.

"Did what?" She tried to play innocent.

"I don't know what went on in your world but I was very clearly holding this chair out for you. I saw you look at it before you took that seat." Roald grinned at her to show her he wasn't upset. She wondered, ever so slightly, if she had found her match at reading people. "So what did you learn by that little maneuver?" He looked at her as if he was only mildly curious about what she had tried to discover about him. He didn't necessarily seem to expect her to answer his question.

"I was hoping to learn if you adapt better than your father seems to be able to." Gwen picked up the pitcher of juice and poured herself a glass and then Roald. In response, Roald chuckled and removed the lids from both of their plates to reveal fried potatoes, eggs, a roll, and bacon. "It seems like you do." She grinned. Roald was maybe a year or two older than her. She she liked George and Myles, the only men that had taken any time to speak to her so far. She felt she would maybe have more in common with Roald, and it would be nice if he could be a friend rather than just someone she spoke to when he was forced to. She saw his eyes shift behind her to the window and grinned.

"I see Myles found you a room with an interesting view," he informed her. She turned and stood slightly to see a large area with fences sectioning off different areas. It was empty of people.

"Let's pretend I have no idea what you are implying," Gwen said turning back to Roald. She saw his eyes flick to the window and then back to her again.

"You don't have practice courts where you were from?" He asked finally.

"Not really," she stabbed at her potatoes with a fork while she spoke. "Either way there doesn't seem to be anyone out there practicing."

"Not yet," he pointed out. "It's breakfast time. Most knights practice after breakfast or after midday. I, for one, know several knights that practice after breakfast in those particular courts."

"Oh, will you be joining them?" Gwen was curious about how long Roald would be with her. She didn't expect him to be her entertainment all day, but at the same time she did like having someone else around to speak to.

"Not this morning. My friends know not to expect me everyday. They understand that I sometimes have certain duties that keep me away," he stopped when Gwen looked down at her plate, feeling somewhat ashamed she was keeping him from his friends. He didn't get to spend much time with them as it was. He probably joined them for breakfast in the morning and then for practice on days when he didn't have anything to do. "Oh, no, don't look like that. This is certainly not any of the duties I was talking about. My father makes me sit in on meetings about the state of the realm, meetings with diplomats, reviewing of laws," he pulled a face showing her how bored of these things he was.

"Do you spend much time with your wife?" She nodded to the ring on his finger.

"Usually, but she is away in the Yamani Isles right now acquainting our son with his Yamani heritage and with his great uncle the Emperor. They should arrive back in two months or so." Gwen pressed for details about his son, two years old and named Kaito, Kai for short.

Breakfast was over before they were done discussing his son so Roald continued the conversation as he shifted Gwen's attention to the window where his friends were filtering out onto the courts. He moved the conversation to what was taking place, making sure to explain even the basics. Gwen figured after her comment about pretending she didn't understand what he was talking about, he was assuming that about everything. It became a very informative session as Roald explained the different moves and different weapons. When she seemed to be grasping the information about the fighting techniques, Roald moved to pointing out the individuals and giving her some information about each of them. She grasped the names easily as she matched them to their descriptions in the books. Sir Faleron of King's Reach, Sir Merric of Hollyrose, Sir Esmond of Nicoline, Sir Seaver of Tasride, Sir Owen of Jesslaw, Sir Nealan of Queenscove, Sir Cleon of Kennan, and Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan all stood within fifty feet of her second story window. She inched a little closer and Roald came up beside her pointing. He kept his voice low as they were actually fairly close and she could hear their voices as they teased each other. Roald accidentally brushing her bare arm as he pointed something new out to her made her remember the over shirt which she went to get it. The moment she stepped out of sight of the window she heard a clear voice come up to the window.

"Roald, you didn't join us so you had to spy on us?" It was clear as day and Roald flashed a smile down at his friends signalling for Gwen to stay out of sight.

"Spying would indicate I would be learning something. As it is, all I see is Kel winning every time you spar with her. That is nothing new." He called back.

"So what are you really doing?" Another voice came up. "Inspecting all of the windows?"

"Something far more interesting. Now get back to work so I can keep explaining that our knights don't just fool around." He grinned up at Gwen and she inched up next to the window, staying to the side enough that she was only slightly visible but not enough that they could see any identifying features. There were some remarks made in response saying they only fooled around but they did return to practicing. Gwen noticed how their eyes kept flicking up to the window as Roald pointed to this movement or that, explaining what each of them were doing. They seemed quite aware that they were being watched now. After two hours of explanations the practice stopped and Gwen ducked back as the dark haired, dark eyed Faleron of King's Reach came up under the window.

"We are going to the archery courts because it's out of your sight. If you and whoever you are explaining our every movement to are interesting in joining us, we'd like to meet them so they can see whatever tales you are peddling are wrong." Gwen grinned as Roald did at the comment. Roald hadn't really told her too many tales about his friends. He had been focusing mostly on the weapons and movements and where strong points and weak points were.

"I tell no tales," Roald informed him. "But now that you are leaving I shall have to find some other way to entertain my guest. I see you for dinner." He waved to his friends and then turned back to Gwen. "Well, what else would you like to know?"

Roald stayed with her until after midday was brought and Myles sent along a sheaf of blank paper and a writing kit. Bid her farewell after they ate and explained he would see her again soon. With Roald gone, Gwen sat to write down all of the information he had told her. She wasn't completely unfamiliar with the writing kit. She had dabbled in calligraphy in her world but she always had had a pen or pencil to fall back on. Now she had to take her time as she wrote about weapons and training practices with sketches using stick figure type models for reference.

Dinner came and went by the same servant as earlier. She went back to her sketches as the servant came back to remove her dinner plate and left her a small plate of cakes for her to snack on as the evening wore on. By the time she had everything written down and sketched out, it was growing dark outside. The open window gave her a good view of the colors of the sky as the sun set and then the stars as they started to show. She grew tired as she waited and was contemplating going to sleep for the night as it was getting very late when she finally heard another knock on the door.

"Miss Gwen," Myles bowed to her as he addressed her. He stepped aside and she saw Lord Raoul and another man. Standing a few inches over six feet tall the other man had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. His mouth was wide and she could imagine it usually being in a smile, except now it was serious looking. Her eyes swept over his clothes and took in a blue and silver tunic over a white shirt, black pants, and a band around his arm with a black circle in the center. "You've already been introduced to Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, Knight Commander of the King's Own." Myles swept a hand past Raoul who bowed in response to his name. "And this here is Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle. He's a squad leader in Third Company in the King's Own." Dom bowed to her.

"Lady Gwen," Raoul started but Gwen held up a hand to stop him.

"Just Gwen, there's no lady in me." She grinned as she saw them all three share a look before Raoul decided to continue.

"Miss Gwen," she rolled her eyes at the insistence on titling though she had instructed him to forgo it. Gwen even found it slightly comical as Raoul in the books had insisted on forgoing his titles with Kel all of the time. "I have been charged with your safety. This here, is my best sergeant in all of the Own, not just in Third Company. He and his squad have been asked for, by Prince Roald, to be your personal guards."

"If they are your best squad, why waste them on me? Surely I could just have a palace guard show me about or something and they can do something real." Gwen didn't think anyone would really appreciate playing babysitter to her. Another look was shared by the three of them.

"Miss Gwen, you may not understand your situation here." Raoul said quietly. "There have been rumors that some other countries, countries not so fond of Tortall, are unhappy the gods would send you to us. Myles here has done some sifting through these rumors to find truths. The truth of the matter is, once you are announced to be real and here, you will be a target." Gwen felt her heart start to race and her skin prickle with a new found terror. Visibly she remained calm looking.

"Oh," was the only word she allowed herself at first. The idea she was immune to magic became a comfort and then a terror as she imagined being safe from magical attacks but also being unable to be healed. "Well I suppose that is a little different. What are we talking here? Kidnap?"

"Kidnap is a big possibility, but we cannot rule out assassination attempts." Myles informed her. "Which is why Roald requested the best squad he could find for you."

"Oh." Gwen felt stupid that she hadn't considered that possibility. The gods had said she would be adored by many. But there were always those that didn't want change or wouldn't consider that she was a real person as they only saw a threat to be eliminated and she had forgotten about them when she agreed to come here. "Well, I suppose we should not just stand in the hallway then."

Whatever the three men expected out of her at the news her life was in danger, that was not it. They all looked at her with some level of shock before Dom seemed to shake himself from his staring and took a roll of folded cloth from under his arm. He unrolled the cloth and then draped the cloak around her shoulders, pulling the hood up to cover her face.

"Alright let's go," Myles took point in front of her and she felt Raoul close in behind her. Dom, she noted, offered his arm to her which she took hoping that as very few people knew about her at the moment and that it was so late, she would at least make it to these new rooms without much of a problem.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: For those who have already read this chapter, I wanted to note that I made a slight change, nothing that alters the story at all. As I was getting ready for work this morning it occurred to me that I had said it was raining and then they went outside but I made no mention of the rain. That has been amended.

The twenty minute walk to her room was completely uneventful but informative as Myles pointed out important parts of the palace and what Gwen would only refer to as landmarks for her to find her way to her room. She was very certain that it would take weeks for her to figure out the twists, turns, ups, and downs that would be required to get to her rooms. Myles explained that her rooms were in the oldest part of the palace, the original royal wing. She would live in chambers that belonged to the first princess of the Conte line. No one actually lived anywhere near that area of the palace anymore and certainly no business was done in that part of the palace anymore. That alone meant someone wouldn't just happen across her. Anyone coming to her part of the palace would have to have some sort of purpose. She would be on the third floor, to make sure that attacks would not come through the windows. First floor would have enabled easy access to her, second floor slightly more difficult, third floor would be a challenge as it was nearly impossible to sneak a ladder that large around without being noticed by someone.

Finally they arrived to the last doorway in the most quiet hallway Gwen had ever been in. Myles produced a key and let her unlock the door with a hard twist. The door opened and little light orbs lit up the room as the door swung open. Part of her was worried that the orbs wouldn't work if she was alone but she would have to figure that out when she was alone. The first room she entered was what she would call a living room. It held several couches, arm chairs, a fireplace, and a table pushed up against the windows with a few wooden chairs. It was three times the size of the guest room she had spent the day in. To the left was a closed door that she opened to see an exact copy of the guest room she had been in, a servant's quarters or guard's quarters, Myles informed her.

"There's actual panes in these windows," she noted out loud knowing glass windows were expensive and rare. The guest room had two windows, the sitting room was lined with them. In the first two rooms alone there was a fortune of glass. She expected to open the door on the right side of the sitting room and find her bedroom, instead she found a study with a large carved desk, maps all over the walls, more windows, and a bookshelf packed full of books. She wanted to sit at the desk and go through the drawers and see if there was actually more things inside of the desk but she didn't want to appear greedy when the first three rooms were already so much more than she had ever had. The door on the other side of her study led to a short hallway consisting of two more doors. The door against the wall where all of the windows had been, opened to a large stone balcony. The balcony itself had a decorated waist height wall, a stone table with stone benches, and several wicker chairs with lots of open space in between. She didn't go out onto the balcony because she would be tempted to stay outside and stare up at the skies which were far more vibrant without the light pollution of her modern world.

Gwen closed the door and went to open the other door in the hallway which opened to a large bedroom, nearly as large as her sitting room. The largest feature of the bedroom was a king sized, four poster bed complete with curtains. Against one wall there was a large silver vanity with a chair and mirror. The wall with the door was lined with empty shelves, to be filled with her personal possessions she assumed. An armchair sat in one corner against the windows. On either side of the bed there was a door. The first door opened to a fully stocked walk-in closet and dressing room that was complete with pedestal and several full length mirrors. The other door led to a privy complete with actual plumbing.

"Just like they use in the private baths in the bathhouse," Myles told her expecting her to know what that meant.

"Please tell me not by magic," she said softly knowing that Dom, Raoul, and Myles were all listening.

"Yes and no. The tanks that hold and heat the water are magic. The taps are operated by pressure." Myles informed her and she felt a bit of relief that not everything was going to be operated by magic just in case the magic didn't even recognize her.

"You seem fairly concerned about magic," Dom pointed out. At least she had an answer for this one.

"My world doesn't have magic. It's a myth of the ancient times and I am not certain what to make of it." She grinned when Dom just stared at her. All he and the others had known was magic existed. Even if all three of them were Giftless, they wouldn't be able to imagine a world without it. "Like when the immortals suddenly appeared after four hundred years. They aren't all harmful but you still want to know what you are facing." She revealed something she knew she hadn't discussed with Roald but she could always say the gods had given her a brief history of what she was walking into if it was ever questioned.

"These rooms are beautiful. Surely you can inform the King and Queen they are too much for me." She informed Myles. "At the very least you can tell them that I am grateful for the kindnesses they have shown me. I am especially grateful for you sending Roald to keep me company earlier." They made their way back through the bedroom, back through the hallway, back through the study, and into the sitting room.

"Sergeant Domitan will come to you in the morning." Raoul informed her. "It is up to him and you what is decided about your safety. She watched as Dom and Raoul both bowed to her again and went out of the door.

"So you are aware," Myles started when he got to the door. "I did not ask Roald to join you earlier today. He informed me that he was joining you. Just like he stepped around his father's orders that Raoul be the only one making decisions in your safety to request not only the best squad but the most trusted squad to defend you." With that Myles left and Gwen closed the door and locked it. Right away she noted something she would like to change, one lock on the door would not be enough. She wanted a deadbolt, a peephole that allowed her to see who was on the other side, and maybe some extra locks on the other doors leading to her bedroom that allowed her to have a series of barriers between her and whatever might break in. But that would be a concern for the morning when she spoke with Dom about her safety.

Right now her biggest concern was those light orbs. She went to the door of the guest room, seeing darkness under the door, she pushed the door open and instantly the room lit up. She went inside and closed the door. The lights stayed on and she felt relief. She opened the door again and left the room, closing the door behind her and the light coming under the door disappeared. Whatever magic worked the light orbs recognized her at least. If she ever got up the courage to ask a mage how they worked, she would be curious what about her it recognized. But mages seemed to be a bit lengthy with their explanations and she wasn't sure she would understand whatever they were telling her. She knew if she ever made friends with Neal, he would have the answer but she would probably regret asking.

Finding a night shirt in the closet, Gwen pulled it on and climbed into bed thinking it was very likely she would make friends with Neal and all of that group. Dom was in charge of her safety and Roald seemed to have taken an interest in her. Eventually one of them would lead her to that group and she was certain she would like most of them. With that thought in her head, Gwen curled up in her overly large bed feeling how soft the mattress was and the how wonderful the comforter felt, she fell asleep.

The sound of doors opening and multiple male voices made Gwen shoot out of bed. She knew one lock on the door wasn't enough. Dimly she noted the gray light coming through the windows and the sound of rain and questioned what time it was. A soft knock on her door had her looking for absolutely anything she could find as a weapon. There wasn't anything other than the stool in front of her vanity. She picked it up, envisioning throwing it at whoever came to attack her and hopefully disarming them and getting a hold of their weapon. But what if they were skilled unarmed warriors and didn't have weapons. She should hide, should be wearing something other than a night shirt, should have asked for something to defend herself.

"Miss Gwen?" Dom's voice came through the crack in the door. He opened it a little further when she didn't answer and saw her putting the stool back in it's place. "It's just me and my men," he informed her.

"We need some sort of safe word or knock or some sort of code." Gwen decided, sitting down on the stool now that her legs were shaking. She noticed then that she was still wearing just a night shirt and her legs were bare from mid-thigh down. Dom seemed to notice this too and blushed. While in her world she wore skirts this short and it was considered a modest length, she knew here it was highly indecent.

"I'll wait outside while you get cleaned up. No rush," he stepped back into the hall and closed the door behind him and Gwen was left alone again. From behind the door she heard laughter following and could only guess the blush stayed on his cheeks as he returned to his men. Taking his clean up suggestion to heart she ran a bath digging in cupboards to find drying clothes and bottles labeled as hair and body soap and bath scent. The hot water felt good and helped calm her nerves. Clean and dry she searched her closet for underclothes, breeches, and a light shirt. Her hair she brushed out with a silver backed brush from a drawer in her vanity. When she felt ready enough she stepped out into the hallway and made her way into the sitting room where Dom and nine other men were waiting. Dom blushed when he saw her and she heard the laughter start up again.

"You know," she started hoping to make Dom feel somewhat better about seeing her in just her nightshirt. "In my world women wear shorts and skirts that barely cover the vital parts. We go swimming at public beaches wearing something only as covering as underclothes. It doesn't matter. I'm not ashamed of my body. Besides, my knees aren't all that sexy to look at." She tried to make a joke and succeeded when Dom chuckled slightly. "So, please tell me that you have a key and that's how you got in this morning."

"I have a key." Dom replied easily.

"I want more locks." Gwen kept a straight face as she took a place at the table in her sitting room and eyed the tray of pastries.

"You want to keep the Sergeant from seeing you wearing less than a night shirt," one of the men joked and she saw Dom's ears go red.

"Not exactly. I mean, you certainly are handsome Sergeant, but we certainly are not there." She blushed in spite of herself, and poured a cup of water to get herself back under control. "I thought about it last night. I'd like more locks on the main door for one but I'd also like locks on all of the other doors. I want as many locks on the balcony door as I have on the main door. I want barriers that take time to get through. I want weapons in key hidden places that I can get at if needed." She saw understanding dawn on Dom's face. "Whenever they announce my presence I want to be ready with as many layers of protection in these rooms as possible."

Dom signaled to one of his men while Gwen spoke and he set up a portable desk and started writing. Gwen knew she was being paranoid as she suggested the extra locks and weapons built into the structure but part of her guessed that being paranoid would help her here. Unfortunately she couldn't think of any way she would escape if someone did break into her room. She could only delay the inevitable. Eventually the attackers would get to her and do what they wanted.

"Miss Gwen?" Dom's voice broke through her thoughts about what would happen. She realized she must have zoned out and was staring at the pastry in front of her as if it had grown teeth and had threatened to bite her back.

"Please, you can drop the titling. You can call me Gwen. All of you." She looked around the room at the ten men all dressed the same in blue and silver tunics, white shirts, and black breeches. All of them were looking at her with the same look of confusion. "I was just thinking that even if someone does get in here, locks and weapons would only delay them, not defeat them, not turn them away."

"That's where we come in, Miss, I mean Gwen," Dom smiled grimly. "The suite across the way is being modified to be a barracks of sorts for us so we are never too far away. When Roald heard that we told you about the threats, he felt you would feel safer knowing help was close."

"And you're okay with that?" She demanded looking over the men feeling anxious that this would breed resentment in the men.

"My Lady, I mean," one of the men stopped. "Gwen," he started again. "It is our duty to protect you. We cannot do it clear across the palace in our barracks."

"Riley is right." Dom pointed out and gave her the names for the men in the room. Wolset she knew by name only and was happy to put a face to the name. Riley was the other corporal, having replaced Fulcher after they returned from Scanra she gathered. Surprisingly she had never learned the names of any other members of Dom's squad. Besides Wolset, any other names she had learned were men who were now dead from battle. She took the time to learn their names now.

After she was done eating, Dom walked through her suites with her, going over any concerns she had and having one of the men, Emmit, write everything down so that it could be presented to Raoul and then the King to measure if the requests were reasonable. Gwen did not like that the King would be the ending decision in her safety. He did not seem pleased with her being a woman first of all and if he was not pleased, what was to say an attack got through and she died ending his problems. Maybe he would have an attack planned on her. Maybe he would kill a few of his own men to ensure that it appeared to come from an outside source. If she was heartless, she would do something of the sort. But as it was, she could hardly stand the killing of animals. She rarely ate meat and certainly wouldn't eat it if she had seen it in animal form rather than as a chuck of meat.

Once the requests for home security were made, Dom turned his attention to Gwen herself. He asked her quietly if she ever considered armor or carrying a weapon openly and Gwen considered it for a moment. To wear armor told the people she wasn't protected and certainly the Godssent was protected by the gods. She knew it was not true, but the people had to believe it. And now that the thought was in her mind, she knew a squad of men or even half a squad of men following her everywhere wouldn't help her. They were best put to use with the rest of Third Company where ever they went. But she wasn't going to admit it in front of the entire squad. She asked Dom to join her in her inspection of the balcony noting that they had not explored the balcony for possible threats yet due to the rain. Emmit attempted to follow them but Dom turned him back as Gwen went outside.

"Your hints aren't all that subtle," Dom informed her as he came to stand beside her on the balcony. She was looking over the edge at the thirty foot drop to the ground. There was only empty grass below her and then about forty feet back, the Royal Forest started.

"It wasn't meant to be subtle." Gwen informed him. She was surprised Dom followed her so easily out into the rain when she was certain that he would have at least called her back inside to do this conversation in private like her office or bedroom. The slight drizzle wasn't a deterrent to her, in fact it almost felt good to feel the cool drops of water on her skin. "Men, it seems, don't always get subtle hints. And look, you came alone because I was not subtle."

"I will have to tell my men if it is important." Dom said coming to lean on the railing by her.

"It may be important but the less that know would be best. I will not wear armor or carry weapons. I'd like to be taught how to use weapons in case I find myself in need, but to carry one." She closed her eyes not knowing how she would ever take a life. "The Godssent, from what I can gather it stands for, is a hope for most of the people. I may protect my home as I see fit because that is private. But out in public, I have to look like the gods are protecting me. If I walk out of these rooms wearing armor, carrying weapons, and surrounded by a squad of men, I'm going to appear weak. I cannot appear weak."

"So you do not approve of having my squad follow you around even though it was Roald who suggested it?" Dom didn't look offended though she thought he would have the right.

"Not the squad, but I could certainly use a guide. One person to be my companion outside of these rooms. Whoever you chose, I trust your judgement." Gwen turned to face the castle and saw faces peering at her from the windows.

"Even though it may be the death of you?" Dom asked quietly.

"I do not pretend that death does not scare me." Gwen whispered. "It terrifies me. But I it is important that I do things this way. I know that it is right." And she did know that it was right. Dom's large hand found her small one and held it for a moment before he bowed over it and brushed his lips over her finger tips.

"Then I shall dismiss the others and appoint myself as your personal guard."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I've been posting pretty fast because I had at least this far planned out. However, I'm starting to get to the point where the story is taking on it's own life and I have no idea exactly where I will go. That means it might take longer to update.

Dom sat staring at the paper in front of him. He was writing a report, or rather an explanation of why he dismissed his squad from Gwen's guard detail. He wasn't certain he knew why he had done such an insane thing but he had to explain himself. Raoul had already told him it was a suicide mission to guard Gwen alone and demanded explanation, but the report was mostly for Roald's benefit. He needed to explain to the man who thought he would be best for the position that Gwen had requested her guard detail be bumped down to one person. Maybe Roald would talk Gwen out of it, but in the end, the Godssent had requested it. He didn't think she would change her mind now. Maybe she would change her mind after her first run in with death. He included that in his report.

"But why?" Wolset had asked when Dom had told them to take his report to Raoul and then relay the request that they were to be removed from the guard detail.

"Because she said a squad of men following her around will make her appear weak." Dom said finally knowing he owed some sort of explanation to his men. "I'm sure My Lord will have useful things for you to do." With that Dom had sent his men from the room and they went without any further arguments.

_But why?_ A voice that sounded oddly like Neal whined in his head. _It's because she's pretty isn't it?_

"It is not because she is pretty, though she certainly is pretty." Dom told the voice. He wouldn't agree to do this just because a girl was pretty. It was more than that.

Raoul had warned Dom when he had given him the assignment that Gwen wasn't what he would expect from the Godssent. And certainly after the priests and priestesses had all announced that the Godssent was coming, he had expected a man, maybe an elderly man full of wisdom was more the image he had in mind. He certainly did not expect some small, young woman who looked like she hadn't seen any part of life. Maybe if she had looked as scarred and hardened as Kel or Alanna, he would have felt she had experienced life. But she seemed to have an understanding of what the people were expecting of her, enough that she was forgoing her own safety in the public eye. She was going to be no more protected than a diplomat hoping that their implied connections would be enough to protect them. And yet that was how a diplomat was supposed to work. Coming into another country expecting to wear armor and carry a weapon only meant that they did not trust their hosts. Gwen was playing this like a diplomat would.

He reached the part in his report where he had to explain why he had offered himself up. Why had he offered up himself? She certainly didn't expect it of him. He could have suggested someone else completely, either one of his men or even going as far as suggesting a knight. But Dom hadn't hesitated after hearing her answer to death. He knew he couldn't allow himself to walk away from her.

Raoul might understand; Roald might even understand better than anyone since he was already going through great lengths for the girl he had only spent a few hours with. He didn't think his friends outside of the Own would understand. He could just hear Neal when he found out, or even his uncle; they would be worried for his safety or even his sanity. His own immediate family would see it as an honor; his mother would see it as his sacrifice for the family honor. Her son guarded the Godssent. He tried not to imagine the words, her son protected the Godssent until she died and he along with her. Kel, Kel would understand his choice. She wouldn't have walked away from the girl either. Kel wouldn't walk away from anyone that needed help and her friends would certainly not let her protect anyone alone.

Dom smiled at his folly. After Gwen was announced, she was going to make friends at court too. He would be certain Kel was among those friends, because he would like to spend time with Kel too and it would be easier if his charge was already spending time with her. Then it wasn't that he was her guard guarding her alone. Kel and her friends were always armed and always willing to protect. They wouldn't just sit by her with someone threatening her life and let her die easily. It was technically against their vows as knights to ignore a cry for help. Gwen would have protectors whether she knew it or not.

"Don't tell me what your squad says is true," a light voice made Dom look up at the Crowned Prince leaning against his door frame.

"If they told you I dismissed them from her guard, it is. If they told you anything about me wearing a dress, they lied." Dom saw Roald smile slightly at the joke. "She made it clear she would prefer it."

"Are you mad? Once it's out that she's here and actually here in the palace, she will be a target for every foreign country that wants to hurt us. If she's lucky it will just be kidnap. Most likely they won't even think she's human and will just kill her off and expect the gods to send a new one." Roald did not yell. He never yelled. His anger was quiet, much like Kel's. Dom suspected it was one of the reasons Roald and Kel got along so well, and why the Prince did so well married to a Yamani. However Neal managed it, Dom would never understand but Yuki seemed to mellow his Meathead of a cousin out, if only slightly.

"I know this, and she knows this. I asked her if she still wanted it knowing that it could kill her." Dom remembered the resigned but strangely confident look in her eyes as she explained that death terrified her but she was doing the right thing. He had seen that look before, on Kel before she went in to see Blayce the Gallan and proceeded to slay him. "She said she knew it was right."

"Let's hope it doesn't come down to her death then." Roald sighed. "We have bigger problems. My friends inform me that the gossip chain says the Godssent is in the palace already and that the royalty is trying to keep it hushed up until they are ready to reveal her."

"That is very accurate for the gossip." Dom pointed out. Usually the gossip had some grain of truth but not nearly so perfectly accurate especially containing Gwen's gender while most of court had been under the impression it would be a man sent to them.

"It is; we will have to move up our announcement of her to Midsummer." Roald didn't look at him then and Dom tried to think of when Midsummer actually was. The answer made him sweat.

"That's tomorrow!" Dom sat up a little straighter. There was no way Gwen's rooms would be proofed by then. There was no way he would be ready to protect her by then. He needed to work on signals with her and code words. He needed to work out escape routes and safe places for her if they got separated.

"I know." Roald explained. "Trust me, I do know. But we need to do the announcement while plans are not well thought through. It gives us more of a chance to make sure she will survive her first night out in the public view."

"The locks on her doors are priority then. And given her permission I will take up residence in the spare room in her suites." Dom felt the pressure that caused him to usually do his best work as a commander. He would make decisions as if lives depended on it, because they did. One very important woman depended on him to keep her alive. One very important woman who had only discovered the night before that she had stepped into a world where just because of where she had been dropped, she was marked for death.

"It's being done as we speak. George went with those installing the locks to make sure Gwen knew it was safe." Roald informed him. "George is explaining the situation to her. If I am correct about her, she is going to have some sort of plan of her own." He smiled at Dom and Dom was certain that Roald was right. Gwen did seem to come up with plans fairly quickly.

"Do you have instructions for her regarding whatever you have planned for her?" Dom asked when the silence stretched between them.

"I do, tomorrow we will go through it all step by step. You and Gwen just need to be awake at dawn. It's important we get in as much time as possible."


	6. Chapter 6

Gwen sat inside of a set of rooms just off of the staircase that was just off of the top of the staircase into the grand ballroom. She had been moved their early in the morning when Roald came to join them just after dawn. Roald had handed her a basket in which he told her to go back to her room with and she smiled when she saw the contents. It was a dark simple skirt, a white blouse, and an apron. It was maid's clothing. She put on the clothes and tucked her hair up into a bun. When she was ready, Roald informed her of his plan which Gwen took to very well.

She followed behind Roald and Dom until they saw their first people about and started to cry, begging Roald and Dom as kind sirs to help her. She was supposed to be waiting on her mistress but she had taken a wrong turn and now she was horribly lost and her mistress would be just so angry with her if she didn't make it back. She played the distraught maid so well that those passing by offered to help her with directions but she fell at the feet of Roald and Dom apologizing for her clumsiness and then adding that to reasons her mistress would be so angry with her. Dom helped her to stand while Roald attempted to soothe the blubbering maid who cried so convincingly into the handkerchief Dom offered her. Halfway to their destination, someone addressed Roald as his Highness and suddenly Gwen was off on another roll begging forgiveness for not recognizing him and how he was being so helpful and she didn't know what to do and her mistress would be so angry.

"That was impressive," Dom told her when they finally made it into the holding space for the day. Gwen swept a curtsey and then took a seat at the table in the room where a meal had been set for her. "I believe I saw my cousin snickering when we walked past him."

"Your cousin Neal?" Gwen asked sweetly. She and Dom had spoken the night before after he had moved into the guest room in her suites. She had asked about his family learning about his two sisters, one older and one younger, and two older brothers. She had learned that his father had passed away when Dom was still a young man before he joined the Own. His mother was very concerned with what one contributed to the family. His brothers were both great knights, his oldest sister married to a duke in Galla, his younger sister an aspiring mage having inherited the Gift from her mother's side. The fact that Dom was a lowly sergeant still irked his mother and the fact he had been a crucial part in the tale of the Protector of the Small had meant little because there was no official attention paid to them. Dom had always been closer to his uncle Baird and his cousin Neal rather than his own siblings who believed in his mother's power scheme. Baird and Neal had always accepted Dom as he was and celebrated any accomplishments rather than just the ones that were royally acknowledged.

"Yes, he was passing us in the hallway a little ways back. I swear I saw him look over the situation and saw you crying and hanging on me, and he laughed and walked away." Dom grinned as Roald admitted he had seen it too.

"Well, if he believes I was a lost maid, then I think I'm doing alright." Gwen smiled and let Roald fill her glass. Between Dom and Roald talking to her and laughing with her Gwen almost forgot that she had spent the night tossing and turning until she had given up sleep altogether to play with face paints and invent her image. After that she had spent the rest of the night, doing some exercises out on the balcony so as not to wake Dom in case he was a light sleeper. She suspected he probably was a light sleeper with the pranks his squad pulled.

But now she was laughing and listening to the two men talk about Neal and his antics as a page and before he was a page. Although she had only known both men for only a few days they felt like friends. It was easy to forget for just a moment that in ten short hours she would become the prime target in the world. Then breakfast was over and Roald brought reality crashing back down on her by starting to explain the reason she was there.

Gwen was to stay in the room all day until the ball that evening after dinner. After the opening dance of the ball, King Jonathon would then stand and command everyone's attention to tell them he had an announcement and then he would present her. The doors would open and she would walk down the stairs on Dom's arm. From there Dom would lead her across the ballroom up to the dais where the royal family would submit themselves before her. Then Gwen would be able to take a seat at the dais where Dom would stand behind her to guard her and she could watch the ball until the end and then Dom would escort her back to her room.

It sounded like a decent plan to her and Dom. Roald said she wouldn't have to make a speech, she wouldn't have to say anything, or really do anything rather than walk down the stairs and across the hall. Then Roald told her he had to speak with Dom alone, and ushered Gwen into the other room where a hot bath was waiting. Gwen made it sound like she had splashed into the water but she had snuck up next to the door and sat down to listen.

"How was your first night in Gwen's suite?" Roald's quiet voice barely came through the thin wooden door.

"She didn't sleep. I think she's more nervous about this than she's letting on." Dom sighed. "I found that diary Myles gave her, hoping to learn something about her but all that was written in it was talk of weapons and training techniques. Sounds very familiar to our techniques."

"She took notes." Roald sounded touched and then explained about what he and she had talked about over breakfast two mornings before. "The original idea was that I would escort her into the ballroom and you would follow behind. My father put an end to that idea saying I wasn't allowed to endanger my royal behind like that. I tried to argue but here I am passing the job to you. I'm supposed to ask your final wishes in case something does happen tonight."

"If I die, appoint Kel as her guard." Dom said after a few quiet moments. "Besides that, my will has been updated as of recently."

"Any final words you want told to anyone?"

"Tell Neal he's a Meathead," Dom laughed. "Then tell Kel I loved her." Gwen felt the contents of her stomach roll. She was simultaneously thrilled that Dom loved Kel but at the same time he was admitting it because he thought he might die protecting her. The thought Dom would die to spare her made her ill. Anything else discussed was lost as Gwen found the privy and vomited up all of her breakfast. When she was certain she could throw up no more, she stripped and crawled into the bath to wash off the sweat that always came with being ill for her. She left the bath only when she felt like she would fall asleep in the warm water and then dressed in the robe hanging from a hook in the wall.

Gwen stayed in the privy as long as she could, not knowing how she would face Dom knowing one of his last wishes was to make sure she was in good hands. The thought someone else could die protecting her was not something she really wanted. Finally Roald knocked on the door and then came in when she didn't answer expecting that something had happened to her. From the look on his face he didn't expect her to be curled in a corner of the privy in a dressing robe.

"Come on Gwen, it's not that bad," Roald tried to assure her. "Just walking down the stairs and then you can go sit down again. That's it."

"But if I stay here, Dom might have a better chance of living," Gwen informed the Prince curling her legs closer to her body. She heard Roald sigh and then he walked out of the privy. Slightly heavier footsteps came in and she knew it was Dom that came to sit in the privy with her. He didn't say anything at first, instead he just sat next to her.

"Back when Kel was a squire still, we were up at the northern border and Third Company went to hold off an attack from the Scanrans. My squad was set to one side and Kel was set with us. One of my men died and I had to go shift the line knowing that just by standing up I was a prime target for death. And so I was shot, an arrow through the shoulder." She knew the story. It had been in the books but it was the first time she had heard a story she knew from someone that had been there. "My point is, in the Own, especially as an officer of any kind, my life is on the life whenever we get a call. Yesterday morning when you told me you trusted my judgment in whoever I appointed, I knew I could very easily die protecting you but you were doing what you knew was right and now I'm doing what I know is right." He was looking at her, really looking at her.

"What will it take for you to get up off of this floor and at least come rest until it's time for you to get all dolled up?" Dom asked when Gwen found herself feeling slightly better about the situation.

"If we survive tonight, promise," Gwen knew it was selfish of her to ask when she was certain there was a balance that was being preserved. "Promise that you will tell Kel how you feel?"

"Let me get this straight," Dom started. "The only thing that will get you off of this floor is me promising to tell Kel I love her?" When Gwen nodded he laughed. "Alright, if you get up off of this floor, and we survive tonight, I will tell Kel I love her." Dom pushed himself up off of the floor. "Now you, my dear, should take a nap. It will help you relax a little and pass the time."

Roald left shortly after Gwen fell asleep on the couch. He returned a little over six hours later wearing his best royal attire in time to see Dom waking Gwen to start the process of getting ready. He handed over a package for Gwen and locked her back inside of the privy to do her hair, makeup, and dress. At least she had this part somewhat down. She had gone to several renaissance festivals in full ladies gear so she knew how to go about putting together her dress. She pulled the dress out of the package to get the inspiration for her coloring. The dress itself was gold and silver silk with a heavily embroidered bodice and a full skirt. The sleeves she guessed would end at her elbows and had gold lace that decorated the cuff.

The hair, she decided to slick back completely into a tight knot and sprinkled a little of the gold eye shadow dust over the top of her hair to make it sparkle. Her face she powdered to a pale canvas before using the small brushes to apply black eye paint in a style like the Egyptians once had. Then she painted gold eye paint heavily over the rest of her lids. Her lips she debated on. She really wanted to paint them rose red, but she could also paint her lips gold and match her theme she had going. She compromised and mixed a bit of red into the gold paint and colored her lips. Once she was all painted up she pulled on the dress and did as much as she could before she admitted defeat with the bodice behind her back and went back out into the waiting room where Roald and Dom both stared at her appearance.

"Is it too much? I thought it might help me in the long run to have my public face be a bit more exotic so when I walk around the palace as a maid or common lady it's easier to remain unrecognized." She went before the mirror in the room and looked at herself again.

"It's a good plan. I just didn't expect you to look so… so… different. You do not look like the same girl at all." Roald informed her.

"Good, not help me lace up my bodice," she turned so they could see her exposed back and looked back at them to see both men blushing. "Goddess, it's just a back. It's not anything you haven't seen." With that Dom stood and helped lace and tighten her dress until it fit just right and tied it off. "You may have to let me out of here later too." She told him with a wicked grin. The whole process of getting her face painted and getting dressed took her just over an hour. Once Gwen was ready Roald sat her down to eat a small meal, since dinner would be served while she was still hiding and then left while Dom retreated to the privy to shine himself up for duty. After twenty minutes Dom stepped out in black breeches, a chain mail shirt, a very bright blue and silver tunic and his dark brown hair brushed just right. At his waist hung a very long sword on one side and a shorter one on the other. Gwen managed to whistle at him causing him to blush.

"I bet the Lady Knight will find you exceptionally handsome tonight. They may be announcing me, but she won't know because she'll see you." Gwen teased until Dom came sit next to her and eat.

"Are you scared still?" He asked as she sipped at the mild broth in front of her. She didn't want to admit it but she knew she was admitting it through her silence. Dom patted her arm and launched into a story about his cousin Neal and how he earned the name Meathead officially. She was so enthralled in the story she didn't care about the knock on the door that told her and Dom to step outside or as they moved up to the door. But Dom stopped telling the story as the doors swung wide open and they heard King Jonathon's voice waft up to them. _The Godssent has arrived in Tortall_.

Dom pulled her into view at the top of the stairs and she felt a wave of anxiety wash over her as she looked out over the audience. She had always had a bit of stage fright and adrenaline often caused a third 'F' reaction out of her rather than fight or flight… she often froze. Her father had once asked her before she had gone up to sing a solo at a concert, what was the worst that could happen? What was the worst the audience could actually do to her? Then her reply had been to laugh at her. Now, she smiled grimly as her mind responded to her father's question. _They could kill me. _The room was filled with tangible emotions too. She sensed the excitement, the fear, and curiosity. She certainly did not feel much hate.

Dom gave her an ever so slight tug on her arm letting her know that she had not actually moved yet. A thought sprung to her mind. What was the Godssent? _The Godssent was benevolent, peaceful, modest. The Godssent was not a block of wood._ She let a smile light her face as she let Dom lead her down the stairs. At the bottom, the sea of nobility parted for her and Dom. It scared her to be surrounded by people she was unsure about, but she didn't let the smile falter. _Fake it until it's real_, she told herself hoping the smile looked genuine. She looked ahead hoping for something to make it real and found Roald standing at the base of the dais he had spoken of. She was close, ten more steps and she would be there. _Nine more steps, eight more steps, who is screaming? Why is someone screaming?_

It felt like a dream, or a nightmare really, as Gwen turned her head just in time to see blood sprouting from Dom's arm and a long piece of wood sticking out of it. An arrow or a bolt she hadn't learned how to tell the difference yet. Another arrow sprouted from his shoulder and she realized whoever it was, was on the other side of Dom. Mass panic was breaking out in the ballroom and Gwen was standing still, eight steps from the dais that the King and Queen had just been rushed from the moment danger was a remote possibility and she was left standing with Dom who was now bleeding from two wounds to his arm.

She saw his eyes go past her for a moment and she tried to turn to see what he was looking at. She felt strong arms enclose around her and suddenly she was free of whatever had held her so frozen as Dom had been shot. She fought those arms because they were pulling her away from Dom and the least she could do was make sure he got away. Maybe whoever held her were kidnappers trying to abduct her. She wouldn't go easily and she fought the whole way, breaking free multiple times calling out for Dom. She latched onto the door frame as whoever had her carried her past and held. Whoever had her was strong but she had a tight grip and more muscle than anyone would expect of her, especially when she wanted nothing more than to get back inside of that ballroom to where Dom was.

"It's okay Gwen," Roald's voice reached her. "Someone else has Dom. He's going to be taken care of. You need to let go of the door so we can take you to a safe place until the people are caught." Gwen released the door slowly and whoever held her turned just enough for her to see Roald behind them as they moved through the halls. She lost track of the twists and turns until she was set down, nicely on her feet just inside of a library. Roald took charge of her then, making sure she sat down and gave her a glass of cool water.

"I don't think she's seen something like this before," she heard Roald saying as the image of Dom sprouting arrows came to her mind and the conversation he had had with Roald when she was supposed to be bathing. "She's in shock."

She stared down into her cup of water for what felt like hours before the door to the library opened again and a gentle hand swept over her cheeks and forehead. "My nephew sent me to check on you. He said something like you appeared to be traumatized before you were pulled out of that room." Baird's voice made her look up.

"I can't say he's wrong," she informed the man, her voice was hoarse but she couldn't remember yelling. "He should have let me take the arrows, bolts, whatever the hell those things were."

"That is not the least bit productive to his job and if there is one thing to be said about Sergeant Domitan, he takes his job seriously," Roald informed her. She heard a series of agreements and looked up to see herself in a room full of people though she couldn't remember any of them being there before. There were all young looking, around Roald's and her age. His friends, of course they would be on hand when all hell broke loose to assist in a rescue.

"Is Dom alright then?" Gwen asked softly.

"He will heal." Baird informed her. "He's worried about you. Anything you want me to tell him?"

"Well, you can certainly tell him since he lived he has to hold true to our agreement we made earlier." She sighed internally. Humor, that was what she would have to fall back on to make this terror go away. Dom would appreciate her humor too. Maybe it would assure him she was alright.

"I shall do just that." With that Baird left them. Gwen looked up through her lashes to see the eyes still on her.

"I'm sorry, whoever was carrying me off. I wasn't aware I was being helped." She heard a chuckle and then a laugh, then more people laughing.

"That became apparent when you suddenly became attached to the door frame." A quiet man with dark hair and dark eyes informed her. She knew him she realized as Faleron of King's Reach from Roald's pointing him out two days before. "I have to say the look on Neal's face was priceless when he stopped moving and couldn't figure out why."

"Because you heartless children have nothing better to do that savor the look on my face, I shall have to recite a poem I wrote about my darling Yuki." A tall man with swept back light brown hair and green eyes started. Gwen pulled a face knowing from the books and from Dom that Neal was actually terrible at poetry.

"Roald, this is worse. I want back out there." Gwen stage whispered to the Prince sitting on her right. It got her a round of laughter from the room while Neal threw a tantrum. At least if she was locked in this room until the assassins were caught, she could try and find some humor.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Dom was released from his uncle's care it was after midnight. He had in fact laughed when Baird had relayed Gwen had first asked if he was alright and then had asked Baird to relay the message that he had survived he had to talk to Kel. Kel, was the most easy to find person as she had been the one to get a hold of him and drag him from the ballroom after he had seen Neal take hold of Gwen. He had heard Gwen screaming for him while Neal pulled her out of the room and resolved to send whoever his healer was to find her and make sure she knew he was alright. He had been lucky he was wearing the chain mail otherwise the arrows would have gone a little deeper. As it was he just had two holes in his arm that were bandaged up.

After receiving Gwen's message, Dom decided it was best to admit his feelings to Kel at that time, when he could at least get some pity for being injured while protecting Gwen. He had asked her to come sit by him for a moment and looked her over. She was in a gown for the ball, her hair had most likely been done up nicely but after pulling him along through the crowds to make sure he would still have use of his left arm after the evening was gone, it had started to come unpinned, falling down in an attractive way. Looking up into those beautiful hazel eyes he felt the words leave his mouth that he had vowed he would never say unless she showed some interest in him. Kel's eyes had gone wide when he told her he loved her and he expected to be slapped or for Kel to leave the room. Instead she laid her head against his good shoulder and let him wrap his arm around her. They didn't say anything more until Baird came several hours later to check the bandages and then release him.

Now he held Kel's hand as they walked through the empty halls towards the library Baird had said Gwen had been taken to. The assassins had been caught nearly an hour before but as he and Kel entered the library and saw everyone still sitting around talking, he suspected no one had told them. Gwen herself was curled up in an armchair fast asleep looking like a strange being with her face paint.

"So Dom, how did you get stuck with this one?" Neal asked softly nodding to the sleeping girl.

"Roald asked me." Dom said simply as he went to kneel on the ground by Gwen. He wouldn't be able to carry her to her rooms with his arm and he didn't want to wake her when she had only napped on a couch that day. He didn't say exactly what he was doing but no one questioned him as he grabbed a cup of water and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. He began the slow and methodical process of removing Gwen's face paint and undoing the knot in her hair so when he did decide how to take her back to her rooms, she didn't look like the Godssent, just a tired lady.

"She looks like a different person when you do that," Dom heard Owen whisper in awe.

"I believe that's the point," Neal muttered. "She's a vicious little thing. Probably kicked me a good twenty times on the way out of the ballroom."

"Did you ever assure her you weren't kidnapping her?" Dom asked. "How would you react when the one person charged with your safety is shot and in the panic breaking out around you, someone grabs you from behind? Not to mention you know that the moment there was a face to the title you were a target for assassins and kidnappers?" Dom shook his head. "We are going to have to work on your unarmed attacks." He informed the sleeping girl.

"Why not just give her some daggers? If she had some of those Neal probably wouldn't have had arms to carry her off with," the quiet Seaver pointed out. Dom looked around the room to see only friends, only people he would trust this girl's life with and sighed.

"Gwen won't carry weapons. She dismissed Dom's entire squad because she said the Godssent has to appear as if nothing can touch them." Roald supplied. To Dom he asked, "Are you going to wake her?"

"I don't want to, Goddess knows she didn't sleep a wink last night and if she wasn't completely exhausted, I would bet she wouldn't have gotten sleep tonight either. It's just I can't carry her right now." Dom stroked one of Gwen's curls back from her face with the same tenderness he had just shown Kel. That particular thought brought several other thoughts to his mind. If he started a relationship with Kel but continued living with Gwen, eventually Kel would spend the night because he couldn't spend the night away from her. But maybe Gwen approved so much of them being together, she would allow it.

"She can't be that heavy," Merric laughed. "Except when she did that trick with the door frame. Honestly Dom, you should have seen her cling to it when she didn't know Neal was helping her. I thought the door frame would give before she did and that door was stone."

"I can carry her," Dom turned to see Faleron offer. "Roald can lead, and you and Kel can bring up the rear." It was a decent plan so Dom stood to allow Faleron to take Gwen when he saw Neal get a good look at the Godssent without her makeup.

"Dom, Roald, isn't that the little maid that was crying at your feet this morning because her mistress would be angry with her for getting lost?" Neal stared as Roald started to laugh.

"Gwen needed to be moved from one part of the palace to another without anyone knowing she was Gwen." Dom explained to the others. "Gwen played the part very well. Now let's get this one to bed so we can all go to bed."

A little coaxing got Gwen to wrap her arms around Faleron's neck and shoulders and let him lift her up without any resistance and Dom found himself relieved she would allow Faleron to hold her and not insist he do it even in her sleep. Kel's hand slipped into his before they left the room and as the door closed behind them he heard the distinct sounds of Neal throwing a tantrum about the contact.

"He will just have to get over it," Kel muttered when both Faleron and Roald looked back to see what Neal had been complaining about. With that the matter was dropped and they walked to Gwen's suite. Kel took over Gwen's care once she was in bed, pulling the dress off and then finding the night shirt she had been using. When Kel was done, she found the men sitting together in the sitting room.

"So how old is she?" Faleron was asking.

"She hasn't ever said her age but I would guess maybe nineteen or so," Roald replied. "As much as I trust the gods, I'm not sure she has enough world experience to be the Godssent. She's too young. She just froze when she was being shot at."

"But she unquestionably had an idea of what to do when she thought someone was dragging her off. A couple of those kicks were almost close enough that one child would be all Neal would ever have." Faleron shuddered. "The only reason I think she didn't get enough force into those kicks was the dress she was wearing."

"It is difficult to kick when you have yards of fabric in the way," Kel sat down next to Dom and took his hands. "As for freezing when Dom got shot, well, she probably had no idea what to do. If she had run into the crowds, she would have endangered more people if none of them were planning their own assassinations or kidnappings. She did the right thing by staying put."

"So you two are together then?" Faleron nodded to their linked hands.

"Good question," Dom turned his gaze towards Kel. She had not actually said anything about what they were or what they might be since he had said he loved her. She had only cuddled up to him and held his hand.

"We will talk about it. Not tonight though, I am just too tired. Maybe over dinner tomorrow?" Kel saw Dom's eyes flick to the doorway that led back to Gwen's room and sighed. "Well, we will find time," Kel patted his hand. With that Roald, Faleron, and Kel left so Dom could get some rest.

Morning was a rude awakening for Dom, or so he thought. He sat up in bed feeling the ache in his arm now that the healing had worn off. Those arrows had not hit bone, but he almost felt like they had. He wished he could stay in bed a little longer but he also knew, despite his injury and late night, he had a duty. A constant, danger attracting duty. He cleaned up, dressed, and opened his to find a note tacked to it written in a very careful hand.

_Dom, Roald came to get me this morning. Hope you are alright! You should sleep or find Kel. –G_

It actually bothered him that Roald had come to take his charge away. The least he could have done was wake Dom and say something or even have suggested it might have been a possibility that night. He grumbled and then left to go in search of food and Kel, finding both at the same time in the Own's mess where he was greeted like a hero.

"All I did was stand in the way of two arrows." Dom muttered to Kel when he sat down.

"But it was the Godssent you took those for," Kel reminded him. Somewhere in his mind Dom had a hard time connecting Gwen and Godssent. If anything she seemed far too, well human. But then what had he expected? He wasn't sure anymore. Gwen had been at the palace less than a week and already she had turned his world upside down.

"Do you know where Roald took her?" Dom found himself worried about where Gwen had gone without him.

"He said something about taking her place to place and introducing her slowly." Kel had already passed them in the hallway twice with Faleron on one side playing guard and Roald on the other playing diplomat, Gwen was meeting not just nobility but the commoners running around the palace as well.

"So Kel, my darling, we must speak about my unrequited love for you." Dom captured Kel's hands and beseeched her like a Player would.

"It's not unrequited so stop your whining. But the question is what are we? Are you planning on courting me, are we just lovers?" Kel let him keep her hands as she spoke. Dom knew most people wouldn't see the difference between lovers and courtship, often they went hand in hand, but Kel would know. That Kennan fellow had not courted her, he had been her lover and even then one that never actually bedded her, something he was entirely grateful for.

"I would like to court you, but I might not have the time that requires." Dom admitted feeling ashamed. "Chasing after Gwen might be a whole new adventure I wasn't aware I was getting into."

"So we are lovers then," Kel tried to pulled her hands back but Dom wouldn't let her.

"We are both," he kissed her fingers drawing catcalls from the men of the Own around them. "Now, let me kiss you so I can get back to eating."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: After posting the original chapter 8 I found I wasn't very happy with the decisions I had made so I took the chapter down and started again. I hope you all enjoy the slightly slower pace I hope to take this at.**

Gwen couldn't believe how vastly different her day was from the night before. She had been sitting out on the balcony listening to the birds sing while the sun rose when she heard the door open behind her. She expected Dom so she didn't turn to face him as she watched the sun rise.

"You should go back to sleep. I, for one, will not be the least bit upset. You did take a couple of arrows for me yesterday."

"That would be a good excuse if I had taken arrows for you yesterday, but as neither of us have done such a heroic thing, we will have to stay awake." Gwen turned slightly to see Roald and Faleron standing just outside of the door.

"It's a little on the early side," she cocked her head to the side as she picked up the trill of a bird and whistled back.

"Well, we had a bit of a talk last night on the way back from bringing you here." Roald started as he and Faleron came to sit on either side of her. "Hear us out. It might be easier if you were introduced slowly rather than in a mass way like we did. Just stopping and talking with people rather than some big showy display."

"That might be easier. Are we starting this today?"

"Yes, and we can let Dom sleep. Faleron will be your guard today. He's very capable." Roald grinned at his best friend.

"Well then I had best get ready." With that she had gone back to her room and dressed up in a long skirt with a simple blouse and wrapped a gold scarf around her hair to hide the color. She did her face up in the mask she had created and then went out to join Roald and Faleron. They had almost made it out of the room before Gwen realized they should probably leave a note for Dom.

And it had gone exceptionally well being introduced slowly. They started in the halls stopping and talking with servants and nobles awake enough to be running around. Then they had gone down to the store rooms where she met those that ran the underbelly of the palace. Back upstairs she heard how young she was and that no one could believe the gods would send them a youngster who had no life experience a hundred times over. Each time she gave them a genuine smile because she would feel the same way in their position, and assured them she was just as surprised to be picked as they were surprised to see her. She made the rule clear in her mind that she would answer any question to the best of her ability about her world or her ideas but not about her personal life. She didn't feel like answering those questions yet.

She broke that rule once only when an elderly maid scoffed at her intentions to make a better place for the lower classes and for women, telling her that as the Godssent she didn't know what it was like to be of lower class or discriminated against. She didn't know what it meant to work or fear anything.

"I'm sorry, Miss, that you feel that way about me. I have been the Godssent for a few days only, but I was someone completely different before. I was poor at times, abused, an outcast, forgotten, the only things keeping me going were books." She kept her eyes focused on the woman's eyes that went wide. She didn't want to look around because she felt people closing in. "I was also loved, cared for by parents that did what they could when they could, had things I cared about deeply and a future I had built for myself. I gave that all up to come here because I care about this world. So please don't judge me before you know anything." She hooked her arm through Roald's then, the signal that she wanted to go away. A crowd had gathered around them but they parted when Roald took a step forward and Faleron beside her.

When they had been a little ways away from the people they left behind Roald made a noise like he was going to ask something but Gwen shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it at all." She sighed. "Can we go down to the kitchens?"

Down in the kitchens she met the cooks and when Roald and Faleron had started to lead her away she paused and went back asking Roald and Faleron to stay where they were. Then she asked about baking. She found herself directed to a very large man who told her to call him Chief because he ran the kitchens with an iron fist. When she explained that she baked in her world and loved to bake but the process would be different, he invited her to come back when she had time and he would help her with her baking. She knew that Chief would be a deadly force if anyone tried attacking her in his domain as well. She left feeling much better.

At dinner time Faleron and Roald returned her to her suite where Dom was waiting for them. She felt his unhappiness at being left behind for the day when they sat down to eat but when she inquired part way through their meal how things had gone with Kel he smiled at her.

"We have to figure out where I have time to court her while I am your guard." Dom explained when Gwen pressed for details. "And you and I need to discuss the possibility of, if ever, if," he shook his head wondering just how innocent Gwen might be and if she would approve of such a relationship.

"Kel's welcome to spend the night." Gwen didn't even look up from her food as she said it. "If you trust her, which there is no reason not to, then I trust her. You have good instincts. As for spending time alone with her, that won't be an issue. A few more upgrades to security in these rooms and you can leave me locked in for days."

"I don't think I'll need days, but thank you." Dom looked relieved which made Gwen feel like she was already improving someone's life. The day was turning out so much better than before that she felt giddy and filled with energy.

"I need to do something," she said setting her fork down.

"Like what?" Faleron was curious. He was tired after following her around all day. That she could possibly want to do anything more than sit and relax was a bit of a shock.

"I don't know. You think I could meet a Shang? I'd like to get a few exercise routines so I can be in better shape for this world." At this Dom smiled at her.

"Go change into some clothes you don't mind getting dirty. I'll teach you some basics." Dom chuckled when she jumped up and rushed into her room. The moment she was gone, Roald turned to Dom.

"You know if you ever want time with Kel, Faleron or someone else can always come guard her. He did just fine today."

"I appreciate the offer. About today though, you entrusted her care to me. I would also appreciate being informed when she is being taken somewhere without me, especially while I am actually in the room." Dom didn't look at the Prince or Faleron as he spoke. It had irked him all day that Gwen was out wandering around the palace and he wasn't with her and he hadn't even known she was going. While the Prince could do as he liked and take Gwen away or appoint a new guard, he had specially requested Dom and his squad be in charge of Gwen's care.

"Understood," Roald replied knowing how Dom must have felt. Roald and Faleron left then before Gwen came back out wearing a fresh pair of black breeches and a light shirt. She wore a pair of soft flexible leather shoes that approved of before taking her outside onto the balcony to walk her through the steps of a few basic unarmed pattern dances.

Dom tried to show her the moves himself but Gwen put a stop to that telling him that while she loved he was helping her, he was injured and he needed to not do anything that would set his healing back because she needed him at 100 percent soon. So Dom simply explained the move and adjusted her body as necessary while Gwen worked through punches, kicks, and rolls.

"We'll do it again in the morning," Dom assured her when it got late. For the first time in several days, Gwen was able to go to bed feeling like something was actually going to right. Roald would be a good friend and from the little bit of talking she had actually done with Faleron, she knew he would be a friend too. Dom was like her actual older brother in a way, when her older brother had been inclined to be nice to her. And she was thrilled Dom was trying to find time to spend with Kel. Maybe he would be able to spend more time courting her if Gwen found more time doing other things like learning in the kitchen. She would present the idea to him in the morning in hopes he saw she wasn't about to force him to spend every single moment with her. She would even be considerate when Kel spent the night and make herself scarce. With those comforting thoughts, she slept easily for the first time since she had arrived.


	9. Chapter 9

Gwen's next few weeks took on a pattern. First thing in the morning Dom would drag her out of bed at dawn and tease her mercilessly until she got up and follow him out onto the balcony where they would work through multiple unarmed exercises. As Dom's arm got better, he started to partner with her, trading blows and blocks. He did his best to show her the best way to hit and kick to do more damage to her target than to herself. After exercises they went inside and went back to their separate rooms to bathe and put on their clothes for the day.

She managed to develop a standing image after a couple of days in the public eye. She always wore extravagant eye paints and painted her lips in the same color as whatever color was on her eyes. Her hair was always pulled back into a knot and then tied up into a gold scarf. It didn't matter if she wore a dress or breeches and a shirt because she had obtained a gold colored over robe that covered her shoulders to wrists to ankles. The finished product in the mirror always made her feel much like the unearthly being that everyone seemed to assume she was. She became very aware that admitting to anything even remotely human to anyone except Roald and Dom. In her unearthly gear, any mention of vulnerability even among those she was trying to become friends with seemed to cause confusion.

While she was making progress, it was taking time. Neal pestered her constantly for the first week about her world which she refused to say much about. After that he became more willing to discuss other cultures and history with her. Faleron was becoming a semi-permanent part of her day, often accompanying Roald when the Prince decided to stay with her for more than a few minutes here and there checking in. Kel was always nearby and often inside of her suite with Dom. Gwen did her best to give them space in the afternoons when she returned to her rooms and Kel joined them. The others were a bit more wary of her when she was dressed as the Godssent. She often caught Owen staring at her as if his eyes were going to pop out. It was at such a time that she thought to make a funny face at him to make him realize he was staring so. Instead of laughing it off or looking away, Owen's eyes bulged out further than she ever thought possible. Seaver, Esmond, and Merric joked with her in the rare times she was out and about as herself and not in costume. And then there was Cleon.

Instinctually she did not like Cleon. There was nothing lovable about him. He was a prankster but he didn't care about the true effects of his teasing and pranks. He often spoke long before he thought and far more loudly than necessary so everyone heard what came out of his mouth. He was egotistical as well, raised to be a true noble as she came across that kind of attitude often. But she really resented him for the way he treated Kel in the books. He seemed to make mention of talking his mother around several times but she got the feeling he never got up the courage to do so. She didn't like the way he had cornered Kel either to get her to start a relationship. When she begged the story out of Roald, she shared how appalled she was that he had even tried courting someone when he knew he couldn't break the contract.

Roald enlisted the help of Faleron then to try and explain how hard it was to know from a young age who your wife would be and any feelings one might have for another had to be left behind. In the end they reached a stalemate when they got to discussing what was okay before the actual contract came into play. While they all agreed flirtations were allowed, it was suggested that women should not go to bed with anyone or even kiss to lead a man on. When Gwen retorted that men should be held to the same standard they stopped talking. She could feel they both had more to say but neither would say it. Dom, after having the conversation repeated to him later, tried to explain that men had needs to which Gwen replied women had needs too. He smiled at her, admitted defeat, and then teased her about anyone she might have been developing a crush on like the older brother she had come to picture him as.

While there were certainly handsome men about at the palace, Gwen didn't have time to develop crushes. She was busy. After breakfast was eaten she and Dom would walk the castle with the apparent intent that he was showing her around and to all of the places that made their palace great. The true intent was to be stopped by absolutely anyone and strike up a conversation. It was in those times she found people willing to tell her absolutely anything like she truly was the link up to the gods. She didn't mention that thought to Dom or anyone else because she was worried that they might see her like that as well and she didn't want to shatter their hopes. Even then, maybe the gods were using her like a link to the people. She couldn't tell. All she knew was she was making connections with those who stopped to talk her ears off. In those talks it was like Dom wasn't even there. People were even so bold as to tell her about love lives and ask for advice.

Afternoons were spent writing. It was half practice with the quill and the other half writing down anything she had learned or wanted to remember from the day. She made small observations in her writing about what was said thinking that one day she could show Roald or Roald's son Kai what the true people of his kingdom were like when they thought it was just them talking to a god. This was the time she often gave Dom to do whatever he wanted. It was usually several long hours between the third bell after midday and dinner which often did not take place until the seventh or eighth bell after midday. She knew most of it was spent with Kel but other times he went to see his men or take his horses out for exercise.

Then for dinner, she touched up her appearance and Dom went with her to a smallish dining room on the other side of the palace. Dinner was open to anyone who wanted to join which had a growing number of people. Dom was always there with her and to her surprise Roald decided to make himself a permanent member of her dinner party. With Roald and Dom came Faleron and Kel most meals. The two of them often enticed the rest of their friends to join. Besides them, they always had at least one royal adviser, at least one conservative who didn't like her, and sometimes Queen Thayet. She always sat next to Dom and her other side was always claimed by someone she trusted. Often times it was Roald, but Faleron found his way in there and one time, Neal. Consequently, that was Neal's last time sitting next to her as Gwen found sitting directly between Dom and Neal was not the ideal place to be located. She told him this, and then with a wink to Kel, told him to eat his vegetables because the Godssent said they were good for him.

Sometimes Neal brought his two and a half year old daughter Karin with. Gwen always had a soft spot for children and the quiet reserved Karin seemed to have a fascination with her. She knew Karin would one day decide to be a knight and Neal would have a fit but Karin would probably do it anyway. She told Neal that he should bring Karin around when she wasn't surrounded by dozens of people hanging onto every word that she had to say. She wanted to see if she could break the child's solemn face by telling fairy tales and teaching her nursery rhymes. But so far that had not happened. Roald assured her he would abduct Karin when his son Kai and Gwen could come and see them.

Then it was back to her room for the night where she read from the books in her library for a bit and then followed Dom back outside for more exercises. After a few weeks of this routine, she found Kel joined them in the evenings and mornings for exercises and knew what was happening but found she didn't mind. She was happy that Kel decided to spend the night. She wondered if Kel would have been as willing to spend the night if Dom was still in the barracks with his men. When she mentioned the thought to Dom he laughed and told Gwen she was a blessing. He explained that his room in the barracks, although separated from his men slightly, was only large enough to hold a single bed and his desk. Very little else could fit including another person. He liked all of the extra space he was getting living in her quarters and the freedom, but he had to play it up like it was miserable to his squad and the rest of the Own so they didn't try and take his spot. Gwen giggled, flapped her hand at him, and stopped worrying about it.

Every Sunday, Gwen gave to herself. Very early in the morning before the sun rose, she dressed in servants garb, wiped her face clean of all face paint, and tied her hair back into a ponytail before letting herself out of the room and into the nearest servants' passageway in the old part of the palace. Myles himself taught Gwen about these small hallways running around the old wing in the palace. He knew of her standing offer with Chief and wanted to make it easy on her so he showed her the fastest, most discreet way to the kitchens. Chief was always waiting for her with an apron and a little net for her hair. Then he set her to work mixing and kneading dough. By the time she was done in the kitchens she pushed a lunch cart up to her room to make pretend she was just a little maid delivering the meals and ate lunch often alone as Dom was usually off with Kel.

Gwen found it slightly strange that she didn't miss home all that much even in her down time. She expected to lay awake at night and miss people, places, things... anything. She found herself missing items that would ease her way: a computer, a self inking pen, internet. But that was only at times where she knew it would make things easier. When she found herself wishing for these things, she reminded herself she had to work hard. But no in the end she wasn't missing home much, or even at all. She knew how she should feel. There was an everlasting picture burned into her mind from when they dropped her sister off at college and she had cried when they were driving away. She knew she should be mourning the loss of her family and the people she knew. She knew she should be missing home, but then again, she hadn't really had a stable home since she had been in middle school. She knew no one else would see it that way. She always had a caring mother and father but once they divorced and her childhood home went up for sale, she didn't bother unpacking.

Her father moved from apartment to apartment and her mother moved in with her second husband who did his best to make her and her siblings unwelcome. Even when she did try and make a safe place inside of her bedroom in the house, her peace was often interrupted with the fighting between her mother and step father. Usually she left to find somewhere else to stay for the night when they fought. But at that time she had always had a place to go. Her father always had a room for her though he didn't have custody of her. But that had changed when she was in high school and her father turned her bedroom into a guest room and her mother packed up all of her belongings to run from their step father. After that, she didn't bother making herself at home as home changed every year and not one person was consistently around for her. But her parents had loved her and she loved them. But she did not miss them. And she was finding substitutes for her siblings, most Dom as her brother. She knew she couldn't have asked for a better person to be her guard and she thanked the Gods or whatever had inspired him to offer himself up constantly. There was no replacement for her sister yet but she thought if Kel and Dom stayed together, Kel would be a likely substitute.

Having a routine in her life made things a bit easier as the Godssent. But she also knew it made it easier for assassins and kidnappers to target her. They knew where she would be and when at certain points in her day. They knew Dom was her guard as that was made no secret and the Godssent was never seen without him anymore. Twice she was nearly hit by a dagger that had flown through the air. Both times she had paused just a second before for some reason or another, she never knew exactly what had caused her to stop but it saved her both times. Someone tried to pass her poisoned food once but it had been caught before it made it to her lips as the poison made the greens on her plate wilt very quickly and she had commented on how strange it was. She suspected at least once there was a kidnapping attempt but it had been at a time where Gwen had wandered slightly away from Dom by only five feet or so. Two men appeared near her seemingly out of nowhere but then just as quickly as they had materialized, Dom came to her side and rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. They never spoke about the attempt but Gwen made an extra effort not to go more than a couple of feet from her guard.

But overall she felt like she was getting somewhere which of course meant that something was about to go terribly wrong. She could feel it but nothing was happening. So all she could do was continue on her routine and continue to plan with Dom for any scenario that was possible for someone like her.


	10. Chapter 10

It happened on a Sunday when she was coming back from the kitchens, pushing her lunch cart. The service hallways underground were always empty on Sundays. Those who did work were out working and the majority of the people in the palace were out at temples for services or having days of leisure. Dom she knew had planned on taking Kel into the city for the day to get away from the palace for a bit. It surprised her then, when she felt someone behind her, a big someone. She expected someone like Chief or Raoul, maybe even Sir Gareth as they were all large men who were likely to seek her out for some reason or another. But then again, her mind reasoned, any of those men would have announced themselves long ago. Chief knew she was running around looking like a maid and Raoul and Gary would have at least stopped her to ask whatever had brought them down to the hallways underground. She had learned that even the most open minded nobles saw one servant and instantly connected them to all servants. Before she could turn to get a good look at the man behind her a large muscle arm wrapped around her torso pinning her arms to her sides and lifting her at the same time. A second meaty hand came up to cover her mouth to block the screams coming from her mouth.

The motion of lifting her had been enough to free up her legs and she started kicking. There was absolutely no way she was going quietly. While he was distracted by her kicking, she bit the hand over her mouth hard enough to taste blood. The man yelped and dropped her and the moment her feet touched the ground she was off and running. All she needed was the nearest staircase up to the main level. She may not look like the Godssent now but certainly someone would stop the abduction of a small maid if they saw it. She heard his footsteps running after her and she increased her speed. Unfortunately for her, her exercises had not done anything to build up her wind. She was good for short bursts but not for this. And she knew at the palace there would be no way she could get some running in to build up her wind because she could never leave the safety of a guard and the guard always had to be prepared which meant running after her was out of the question. She found a staircase and started to have hope that she would make it when her legs fell out from under her and her head came crashing down onto the stone steps.

Things came back slowly to her in bits and pieces and very much without order. The first thing she could tell was she was moving. For a moment she reflected on how odd it was to have the sensation of moving but not having any idea why, where, or how. After a bit she realized she could smell the heavy scent of late summer trees and horses. She knew she was outside somewhere then, but she didn't know where. Certainly she was nowhere on the palace grounds because nowhere on the palace grounds smelled like that. Then she could hear the sound of hooves on packed dirt, the jingling of tack, the sound of men talking and laughing, and the sound of crickets. So it was night or at least evening she reasoned. Then her eye sight came back through the small slit she allowed and she found herself tied into a rough wagon between five or so men on horses, in the woods at night. She kept her body limp, her eyes closed all but a bit to see through her lashes, and her breathing controlled. It would be easier if these men believed she was still passed out. They weren't speaking in Common when they did speak to each other but she expected they would have to stop and camp at some point.

She was right. They stopped shortly after that and made camp. Someone came back to check on her but she stayed motionless and limp. He left her then and made some joke to his friends who all laughed. She guessed it was probably about the way she had been knocked out or that she was still passed out after all of this time. She heard the unpacking of sorts and dared a look to see the men settling it with their backs to her. Slowly all of the men settled down to sleep which made her smile because even in the forest one should have a sentry. There were always things that could attack a camp at night. She waited for all of the breathing to fall into the heavy pattern of sleep and then started to work at her ties.

Rather than try and pull at the ropes and make the knots tighter, she brought her hands up close to her mouth and used her teeth to pull at the knots. Very slowly she loosened the rope's grip on her wrists until she could squeeze her hands out. Then she got to work on the ones around her ankles. With use of her hands it went much faster and she was free in no time. Very quietly she stood and stepped out of the wagon. She dared not breathe as she tiptoed away from the sleeping men. It took all of her control not to take off running right away, but she didn't want to wake any of the men with unnecessary noise. So she continued the slow and quiet tip toe motion until she was a good distance from the camp and then tore off running down the road.

She had no idea where she was or how far from the palace she had gone, but she guessed those man had been taking here away from the palace and if she just ran back, she would be going in somewhat of the right direction. Enlightenment struck her shortly after she began running: she needed to get off of the road. It would be absolutely stupid to stay on the road for them to come back and get her. She walked off of the road, moving far enough into the woods that she couldn't see the road anymore. Feeling less exposed and more likely to trip over roots, she slowed her pace knowing she could at least walk a few miles in an hour if she kept a good pace.

The slower movement allowed the adrenaline the die down in her system and her head felt the need to remind her that she had smashed it against stone steps only that morning, or maybe it had been the morning before. How long had she been out? She wasn't sure anymore but she hoped it was only a day or two at most. When dawn came she envisioned the men waking and finding her gone. Would they turn around and run back down the road on their horses? Would they think her intelligent enough to get off of the road? She hoped they thought her stupid and ran.

The day wore on and she guessed she was at least somewhat safe on her path as she hadn't seen anyone yet. But then again, a more paranoid part of her mind told her, maybe she was safe because she was going the wrong way. So far from the road, how did she know that the road didn't twist away at some point? She let the more paranoid part of her mind go for an hour or so before she decided it was best to just check. She just needed to make sure. Once she saw the road she could duck back and go back into the woods and put her questioning mind to rest. She did see the road, but her panicked mind told her she should stay closer to it just in case it did veer. So she resigned herself to walking a bit closer.

As evening started to fall it started to cloud and it began to rain. Her body wanted her to stop, to rest, to find a hollow to curl into but she kept moving. She wanted to get away from where those men had taken her. She wanted to get out of the woods. Spidren were not something she wanted to meet and she knew the woods were prime place for them. Spiders in general freaked her out. Her stomach grumbled reminding her that she had not eaten since who knew when. She did not stop to eat; she did not know what to look for in this world. She needed survival training but she doubted Dom would be willing or allowed to give it to her. She was much too exposed out in the woods to train.

It had been dark for quite some time and she began to wonder again if she had been out for more than a day or if she was going the right direction. It had not stopped raining. She still had not stopped to rest or even take a chance at finding food. There was a chill in the late summer air that she wasn't sure wasn't just her own fear in the woods. The woods grew denser and then she stumbled into a clearing and stopped dead. There in the clearing as a tent, a small fire that flickered in the rain, and two horses. That meant someone was around and she wasn't sure if they were good or bad. But the fire looked so nice and inviting and now that she was stopped it wouldn't be too terrible to sit. Maybe the person was asleep and she could sit for a bit before heading out again.

"Only people out here this late starin' at camps are thieves and robbers," a calm voice made her turn and look at a man leaning against a tree a little ways away. He held a bundle of sticks in his hands.

"I'm sorry, I mean no harm. I've been walking for a while and the fire looks so," she glanced back at it. "I'm just passing through." She made to move but the man shook his head at her.

"You look done in," he told her. "Come sit for a bit. It's a fair bit warmer and dryer by the fire." She knew she should keep going. She didn't know if she could trust this man but in the end he was offering a chance to rest by his fire so the least she could do is be polite and accept for a few minutes. They sat quietly for a few minutes with him adding logs to the fire. In the light she had a chance to look at him. His eyes were hard to distinguish in the flickering light but he was tanned, tall, and muscular. His blonde hair was cropped very short and his mouth was framed by a neatly trimmed goatee. His clothes were simple but well made. His horses looked to be a fine specimens of the species as well.

"Are you a knight?" She asked softly catching a glimpse of a sword hilt at his side.

"No, I'm a younger son so I had a choice. After seeing what my brother went through… well, easier to train myself. What has a little maid walking in the Royal Forest so late at night in the rain?" He offered a blanket to her and she smiled gratefully at him. She didn't want to tell him the exact truth but at the same time, she saw no reason to lie about the circumstances.

"I was kidnapped by some men. I managed to escape when they made camp last night but I have no idea how far I've yet to go or where I am. They had me unconscious for I don't know how long." She drew the blanket more snuggly around her shoulders. "Why are you traveling alone? I thought it wasn't safe."

"Well, my horses are very good sentries and guards which makes it easier. But I'm heading towards the palace. If you are going that way I could use some company along the way. Are you hungry?" He rummaged in a bag and offered her a small loaf of bread which she stared at for a full minute before he took her hand and put it in her palm. "Don't trust easily, do you?"

"Well I was just kidnapped," she reminded him. "And you could just be some man wanting to take advantage of a lost maid in the woods." She saw his look soften and his held his hands up so she could see both of them.

"That's not my style. Eat that, and I'll figure out some sort of sleeping arrangement." He stood and went inside of the tent.

She could hear him moving around and thought the better of letting the food go to waste because if anything she needed the nourishment incase he did try and attack her. She really didn't feel anything all that terribly wrong so she relaxed, ate her bread, and enjoyed the warmth of a blanket and the fire. The man came back out of the tent a while later holding a roll of cloth in one hand.

"I made it presentable for a lady in there. Take the sleeping roll in there and get some rest. I'll be out here." He smiled at her and settled the blanket in hands onto the ground so he could lie down. She finished off the loaf of bread but made no motion to move.

"What's your name My Lord?" She asked realizing he hadn't told her who he was or what he was even doing on his way to the palace.

"Ivan. What's yours Miss?" She noticed he left out any fief holding though he clearly was noble. He sprawled out and put his arms behind his head looking up at the canopy of leaves above him.

"Gwen. Thank you Ivan," with that she stood and went into the tent to show Ivan she truly was grateful and trusted him at least that much. The bedroll wasn't much but it was enough to make her feel warm and comfortable after such a trying day. She was out shortly after her head hit the pillow and she didn't wake again until she felt Ivan shaking her shoulder.

"I don't mean to be rude but it's past dawn and we are losing daylight. I was hoping to be to the palace by midday." His smile was easy as she sat up.

"I'm sorry, I don't usually over sleep. Is there something I should do to help?" She got out of the bedroll and started to piece it back together.

"I just have to pack up what's in here and then we can eat some breakfast and be on the go. Have you ridden a horse before?" He visibly swallowed a laugh at the look she gave him about riding horses. He may have interpreted her look as a fear of riding horses because she had never done it before and that was more of a noble or army thing. Instead her look was one of fear because she had had terrible luck with horses. The first horse she had ever ridden had been on a vacation and it had tried to dump her off a cliff in its never ending quest for food. The second one she had tried to ride stepped on her foot hard enough that it had sprained terribly. She did however know how to mount, dismount, and ride comfortably up and down hills and through speeds as fast as a canter. But she let Ivan believe she was an ignorant maid.

While he was packing up his saddle bags she rolled the bedroll like she would have a sleeping bag which made Ivan smile as he explained that she was almost correct in her attempt. He showed her the correct way to do it and then let her assist in tearing down the tent. She asked questions, lots of questions, about the pitching of a tent, the best way to find dry wood like he had last night though it had rained for many hours, how to find edible food in the woods, anything she thought to ask. He answered all of her questions, dubbing her the curious maid, as they ate breakfast and then as he showed her how to saddle a horse and mount up. The mare she rode he affectionately called Thunder for her pure black coat. The mare he rode he dubbed Lightning; he explained that she had a spark in her.

They kept on the side path to the road that he had been on before. He claimed he liked not having to see other people as much and then added that in case her kidnappers were still looking for her, they would stay out of sight. They kept talking, Gwen asking survival questions while Ivan told stories of how he had learned the answer. Finally Gwen asked the question nagging in her mind.

"What are you going to the palace for?"

"I heard that the King's Own is recruiting. I was hoping to find myself placed in Third Company. What do you think? I've already got the rescuing maiden's part down." He winked at her.

"Technically I rescued myself from the kidnappers. You only rescued me from fainting against a tree." She heard him chuckle. "But I will attest to your rescuing skills if needed." She returned to her other questions letting it help her pass the time as they neared closer to the palace.

As they rode onto the palace grounds Gwen felt herself relax a slight bit more. She stayed with Ivan though as she was riding his horse and followed him as he led her to a stop outside of the stables. He helped her dismount then, reaching up and letting her rest her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her down by the waist. She volunteered to help him groom Thunder as she had been the one riding her and learned a bit about grooming a horse from him in the process.

"As your valiant rescuer I should see to it that you make it inside and explain why you have been missing in your duties." He shouldered his bags and motioned for her to walk with him. They barely made it twenty feet from the stable when she saw Dom and Roald walking towards her clearly knowing she was there. When Dom saw her and recognized the dirty and disheveled girl as Gwen he sprinted and caught her up in a tight embrace.

"Friend of yours?" Ivan asked when Dom set Gwen down. Dom was in his full King's Own uniform and she saw Ivan sweep over his arm badge.

"You could say that, Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle. I'm charged with Gwen's protection." He gave her a rueful look when he said it. "I've done terribly it seems."

"Honestly we can't prevent everything. I'm just lucky I ran into Lord Ivan when I did. He's been a wonderful man making sure I don't bumble around in the forest any more than necessary." She grinned at him.

"Is that true?" Roald asked coming up next to them. Even Ivan recognized the Crowned Prince without a second glance and bowed.

"She stumbled into my camp last night and I gave her a place to sleep, food, and offered her a ride back to the palace." Ivan was frowning as he looked between the three of them.

"Then I shall have to find a suitable reward for you. Gwen is very good at thinking of rewards." Roald gave Gwen a quick embrace about the shoulders and turned to shake Ivan's hand.

"I think it's wonderful you care about your maids so much Your Highness, but I don't need a reward for rescuing a maid." Roald and Dom exchanged a look and then Dom offered Gwen his arm to take her a little ways away. She waved to Ivan, thanked him again and wished him luck on his attempt to get into the Own, and then followed Dom.

"You don't understand do you?" Roald asked him softly. Ivan only shook his head. "You didn't just rescue a little lost maid from the woods. You helped bring the Godssent back after a kidnapping." Ivan's eyes lit up as they flickered back and forth between the retreating girl and Roald.

"She's the Godssent?"

"She's that and so much more." Roald winked at Ivan. "You have my eternal gratitude. I shall have to inform Lord Raoul about your deed." With that Roald went to join Gwen and Dom where they had stopped a short distance away to talk. Ivan only stared at them, realizing that his simple offering of help to a poor maid had been nothing out of the ordinary for him, and yet, here he was finding himself absorbed in the most extraordinary thing.


	11. Chapter 11

The walk back to her room between Roald and Dom had her answering questions about the events of the past few days. She explained about the man tripping her on the stairs and hitting her head. No, she had not seen his face clearly. She explained about waking up in the back of the cart and hearing the men talking in a different language. No, she did not recognize the language, and no, she wasn't certain she would recognize it again if it was spoken to her. She spoke about their stupidity in all settling down to sleep without a guard or sentry and how she loosened the ropes. She spoke about making a run for it and getting off of the road. She received both approval and scorn for leaving the path. Dom approved her getting away from the road while Roald reminded her about the many different vicious immortals and animals running about. She spoke about running into the clearing that held Ivan's camp and how she was going to keep walking but he was offering her a moment to rest. She mentioned how he had taken care of her even though he thought her just a maid that had had the misfortune of being kidnapped. She made sure to inform him about how much of a gentleman Ivan had been sleeping outside and letting her sleep in the tent. She made sure to note that she needed survival training to both Dom and Roald incase that happened again. Maybe next time she wouldn't get so lucky.

"We'll see," Roald patted her arm but Gwen was certain she wouldn't be getting survival training. Roald's answer sounded like a diplomatic answer rather than a real answer. Dom waited until Roald left them at her suites with a promise to send food down before he assured her they would spend some of her free time working on things that would keep her alive if she ever found herself away from someone with experience again.

"Why would you agree to this when Roald doesn't sound all that thrilled?" Gwen asked when she got as far as the door to her office.

"Roald's just been a bit put off that you were taken from the palace without anyone about to stop it. He's been worried about you and putting you out in the open where he can't really do much to protect you for survival training is scary. I personally wouldn't take you out without a squad or two, maybe three of the Own. I would prefer a whole company, but it's my job to make sure you stay alive, even if I'm not about. It sounds like you learned a bit from Ivan but let's make you something of a theoretical expert. Once we get the theories down, I'll see what I can finagle out of our dear Prince." He smiled at her.

"You know it's not your fault right?" She asked. The way he mentioned Roald being a put off by not having someone about to protect her made her believe Roald must have said several somethings to Dom about his lack of presence at that time.

"I should have had a guard walk with you between the kitchens and here, even if you give me the day off." He shook his head. "I know you want to go places without a guard following you but they knew what you looked like without your costume and we can't chance all that much anymore.

"The recruitment for the Own, when does that take place?" She asked just one last question before she was determined to stop and go take a bath.

"It was scheduled to start tomorrow morning after breakfast." Dom informed her.

"I'd like to go to it, if possible." With that she disappeared into her room to run herself a bath.

She soaked in the water until the water turned cold and her fingers and toes were wrinkled beyond recognition. She brushed her hair out and let it stay down. Dressed simply in breeches and a shirt she went back out to join Dom. It struck her that this was the time Dom normally spent with Kel. When she mentioned it, Dom shook his head.

"We decided you are more important right now. I should be keeping a better eye on you." She saw it had probably been a fight, maybe something Roald had been involved in. Maybe Roald was frustrated and had gone to vent to a friend. Maybe Kel had taken it as a hint she needed to give Dom time to do his job.

"But she can still be here. It's not like I'm any less protected if you have her about or if she spends the night." She watched as Dom smiled and then stood to hug her.

"I'll tell her you said so when I go and speak with Raoul about you attending recruitment tomorrow." He hugged for just a few seconds too long.

"Dom, are you alright? You're not feeling overwhelmed, or burnt out, or missing your freedom too much are you? I would be absolutely heartbroken to send you back to your squad but at the same time I would be far more hurt if you didn't want this anymore." She received another very tight hug and she was beginning to wonder if Dom really was going to leave her to go back to the simple life of being a Sergeant in the King's Own.

"I'm alright, Gwen. I was just scared for you when we found out you were missing. And then Kel told me we had to stop because it was only going to get in the way of my duties, and here you are again back and you don't blame me, you want Kel around, and here you are trying to take care of me." When Dom stopped Gwen stood up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek before pulling away from him.

"I'm back, so let's pull things back together. I was only missing for what two full days. Nothing should be permanently damaged in that time frame." Her stomach growled loudly and she blushed. "But I suppose I should eat something first."

Dom laughed and moved aside so Gwen could see the spread that Roald sent up. Anything she had said she liked at any point during meals with Roald was sitting on a serving cart. She also had warm apple cider. She loaded up a plate and sat down waiting for Dom to join her. After a moment he did.

"You go against any expectations I ever had for the Godssent." He informed her when he took his seat. "I expected a man first off or at least someone older. Probably someone bigger too. I expected someone like my cousin who spouts of everything and anything they know. I expected someone who wanted to live in luxury and have their every need taken care of. I expected someone who would treat their guard like a slave. I expected someone who thought they were better than ever having to stoop to a lesser world's level of learning. And yet, there's you. A young woman who is small boned, very knowledgeable but also very tactful in what you say and do not say. You appreciate the fine things you've been given but you don't demand them and you certainly don't ever expect them. You don't treat me anything like a slave but more like a friend and companion rather than a guard even. And you haven't stopped asking questions since you got here because you want to learn how to do things our way here rather than enforcing your way." Gwen blushed when Dom stopped. She hadn't realized all of the expectations she had broken and probably had broken for very many people. "It's not a bad thing, it's just, I believe our world is very lucky to have you."

"I'm glad you feel that way. I feel extremely lucky that Roald asked you to be my guard. I couldn't have asked for a better one because I doubt anyone would be as much like a brother to me as you are. After lunch will you go talk with Kel and Raoul? I'd like to get things fixed as soon as possible."

"What will you do?" He asked as he loaded his own plate up.

"Read probably, and then take a nap." She shrugged. She turned the talk to the process of joining the Own and enjoyed Dom's story of how he survived recruitment and then how he became a sergeant. Dom left after lunch and Gwen took a book to bed with her. She had barely closed her eyes when she felt someone shaking her awake again. Dom was grinning down at her as he pulled the book out of her hands.

"Good morning," he teased.

"What time is it?" She asked pushing herself until she sat up. Dom was marking her page in her book and setting it down.

"Past dawn. I let you sleep in, but if you want breakfast before we go to watch the recruitment start, you need to get up now." She threw herself back on the bed and groaned.

"But it feels like I just fell asleep." She pouted as Dom laughed. "Well, you seem happier. How did it go with Kel?"

"She's setting up breakfast." Dom winked at her. "I'm very glad you slept soundly. Now up, costume, breakfast, go." He turned and left. Gwen got up and threw on clean clothes, her golden robes, and hurried to do up her hair and face paint. Today she colored her eyes and lips royal blue. Breakfast was hurried but she was happy to see Kel and Dom enjoying each other's company. She had been very worried that Kel would hold out.

On the way to see the Own, Dom and Kel put Gwen between them. She kept her mouth shut as they walked and Dom's arm somehow pulled her in closer when they found themselves in a busy hallway. She knew he was worried and even more so than usual because this was her first walk out after the kidnapping. Her kidnappers could even still be about since she escaped. So she let him be protective until they reached the outdoor practice courts where Raoul was interviewing potential members and Captain Flynn was running them through drills with the men of Third Company.

Gwen's appearance stopped everything though as all eyes turned to her. She put her most benevolent smile on her face and let Dom lead her up to Flynn to thank him for allowing her to come and witness this event and then up to Raoul where she was offered a seat and a stack of papers. She recognized applications and turned to see Raoul grinning.

"You wanted to come, you can work." He paused as he watched her start reading the first paper. It was Ivan's. Raoul had given it to her on purpose because Dom had mentioned the made mention of him probably being the reason Gwen wanted to see the recruitment.

"Kel has said it many times. You are a bad man." That earned Gwen a chuckle.

"I prefer sneaky." He smiled as he beckoned Ivan forward. "And I could use your ability to read people."

Ivan was a handsome man, Gwen knew that much from him rescuing her. His eyes were a light crystal blue now that she saw him properly in the light. She saw him look over her appearance now and saw a bit of a smile light on his face.

"Something funny?" Raoul asked, very much the commander reprimanding a man under his authority.

"No Sir, I was just thinking about how beautiful the Godssent it." Gwen kept her blush to herself as Ivan spoke. Raoul asked for his application from Gwen and proceeded to question him about his motives for joining the Own, his weapons skills, some other basic questions that were meant to gauge any prejudices against lower classes or Immortals. He answered everything sincerely and then Raoul dismissed him to go work with Flynn so they could see how well he worked with others.

"He really wanted Third Company," Gwen said as Raoul wrote his thoughts on the man down. She saw him nod. "I personally feel like he would fit in with that bunch of hooligans well. Not that I know much of Second or First Company but well. Second seems too serious and First is more ornamental. Third Company has always felt something like unruly children full of charm and mischief but they always magically become serious when needed. I think Ivan would fit in there."

"Glaisdan, the former Captain of First Company was more of a puff and pomp. We are working on turning First into more of a fighting unit but getting men to do something they don't want is difficult." Raoul reached for the next application.

"I always thought the best way to train a man was with food. They respond to food." Gwen's straight face as she produced the document he was looking for made him chuckle. The poor nervous looking young man coming up to be interviewed paled at the sight. Gwen understood. Lord Raoul was a legend, the Giantkiller, trainer of the Protector of the Small, close friend of the King, close friend of the Lioness. He was terrifying in himself. And then there was the Godssent, a much more recent type of legend but in her experience, slightly more terrifying to those that did not choose to cross paths with her. This attitude stayed for most of the morning as the men stared at her either with awe or fear while they were questioned. Every now and then she would throw in a question of her own while Raoul was interviewing. Some would stutter over their answers, others would try their best to tell her what they thought she wanted to hear.

They broke for midday and Gwen found herself in the Own's mess between Raoul, Flynn, Dom, and Qasim all discussing the activities of the morning. The recruits could eat in the mess if they desired which caused the place to be a bit more packed. Gwen ignored the looks she was getting from the recruits. By now she was used to it.

"So Sergeant," Raoul's voice carried over the hall easily. "Are you getting out of practice now that you don't have to do drills every day?"

"I still do drills every day, or I should say We do drills every day." Dom nudged Gwen with his elbow making her smile. "I'll turn her into a warrior yet." Gwen responded to him by sticking her tongue out in the most childish manner.

"So what's after this?" She asked after the laughter at the table died down.

"We go through drills with those you sent to me this morning," Flynn explained. They had roughly twenty-five spots to fill and though they had spoken to about seventy men over the course of the morning, they had only narrowed it down to about fifty men. "I'll be taking your guard for the process," Flynn explained.

"Sergeants usually wander through the lines to help with running the drills and talking to the men more one on one to see if they let their guards down." Qasim explained. Gwen nodded her understanding.

"Do you pair the recruits up with members of the Own for their drills?" She was catching on to how this thing would work as Raoul nodded.

Back out on the practice courts Gwen found a nice vantage point sitting on a fence post. For the most part Gwen was left on her own, watching from the fence while the men worked. As the afternoon wore on and more and more men were dismissed she grew somewhat bored and very hot from the long robes in the August sun. She thought long and hard about stripping off her robes to go down to the breeches and shirt she wore under and attempting to balance walking across the top of the fence, but that would make her a very open target. She sighed, and focused in on where Dom had gone. To her surprise he was talking with Ivan, Raoul, Flynn, and Wolset. She saw all of them turn to look at her and it alarmed her slightly. Then Raoul and Dom broke away bringing Ivan with them.

"We thought you should know that your rescuer will be taking the new empty place in Dom's squad." Raoul said patting Ivan on the shoulder.

"Is Wolset leaving?" She asked looking back to where Wolset and Flynn were still talking.

"He's being promoted to Sergeant." Raoul explained. "Emmit will be moved up to Corporal. Ivan will take the empty place." Gwen's eyes flashed between Dom and Raoul sensing something very much alarming. Dom was Sergeant. If he was being replaced then what did that mean.

"I had a few more things to discuss with Raoul yesterday after midday." Dom was talking softly like she was a skittish horse. "I can't keep my commitment to the Own on top of guarding you."

"So you resigned?" She found her voice finally. "You can't do that! Everyone knows you love the Own."

"My squad needs someone who can go out on calls with them. Right now, I couldn't imagine leaving you to your own devices for as long as that happens. Even if I left you with Roald or Faleron, or even Kel, I'd worry about you and not the job at hand. Besides, I'm going to try and make an honest woman of Kel at some point in the near future." Dom gave her a wolfish grin.

"So what does that make you?" She asked him when he pulled off his arm band to hand it to Raoul.

"Roald rather liked 'Captain of the Godssent's Guard'." Raoul teased making Gwen blush. Ivan stood watching the exchange appearing thoughtful. "Don't worry, Dom's not really done with the Own. Besides I'm still charged with your overall safety so he can't escape me."

"Well if you say so." Gwen sighed. "Congratulations on your abduction into the Own. I hope you're prepared for that bunch of hooligans." She turned her attention to Ivan who only gave an innocent smile.

"I'm sure they'll go easy on me. I've been peddling the story that I rescued the beautiful Godssent." He jammed his hands into his pockets and looked back towards where the men were still doing drills.

"I hope they put a dead snake in your bed," she informed him.

"My lady, you hurt me with your ill wishes." Ivan held a hand to his heart much like a player but he was smiling.

"I think you'll recover." She said to Ivan. Then she turned to Dom. "We should probably go in and prepare for dinner. I'm sure this is going to be an interesting one, Captain."


	12. Chapter 12

As Gwen suspected, the news that Dom was no longer in the Own was both well received and a shock. Dinner that night was with Roald, Faleron, Kel, Neal, Seaver, Esmond, Owen, Cleon, Duke Baird, Raoul, Myles, and for some reason, Ivan. Ivan sidled his way into the room shortly after everyone else was already seated and dishing out food. Raoul greeted him loudly calling attention to him.

"What brings you here?" Raoul asked.

"I heard the Godssent has a standing offer for anyone to join her for dinner." Ivan explained and Gwen nearly allowed the blush she felt show. Dom next to her winked at her and then offered Ivan his seat causing Gwen a bit of a heart attack. Dom never ever did not sit next to her at dinner. In the past month since she had started this ritual, he had always sat at her side. Now he left and went to sit by Kel while Ivan took his place. The change in seating did not go unnoticed by the others in the room either. She felt the tension as much as she was sure Ivan did before Dom broke the tension with his announcement.

"Your reaction was milder," Ivan told her softly when the room erupted in a mix of cheers and exclamations of 'What?'

"They've known him longer," was Gwen's simple response. "Why are you here?"

"Direct aren't you?" Ivan asked. "Alright," he sighed and continued very quietly, "this is going to sound strange, but I don't feel like I'm done with you yet. I know it sounds really creepy. It was just supposed to be simple. I make sure you don't die in the Royal Forest, my conscious is clear, leave you with your friends. Now I just have this feeling that this is the place to be. Do I sound creepy yet?"

"A little, but I understand. Gut feelings are important. So, any idea what you are supposed to be doing with me?" She asked just as quietly and picked at her food not all that interested in eating anymore. Coincidence and the Godssent did not seem to go together. If she ran into Ivan in the woods and now he was compelled to be around her, he was important for something.

"I have no idea. But at least you are good company and as I stated earlier, very beautiful. I shall enjoy waiting for my purpose with you to come to light."

"You are a charmer and a flirt," Gwen said a little louder than she had said anything else. Whatever else was being said at the table went quiet as eyes turned toward Ivan again. She wasn't exactly certain about what had caused such a reaction and she looked to Ivan who shrugged clearly as confused as she was. She raised her glass to her lips to drink while she waited to for everyone to resume to normal.

"Is it possible to flirt with the Godssent?" She heard a whisper to her left and choked on her cider as she tried not to laugh. It was such an absurd question. She was human after all. She coughed slightly trying to get her breathing back to normal.

"It's not an uncommon view," Roald muttered from her other side. "You don't exactly look like a being from our world when you look like that."

"Well I appreciate the flirting," Gwen said to Ivan. "It's nice for someone to think of me as human."

"I think of you as human," Roald insisted. "And you know Dom does as well." His voice was quiet so only she could really hear him. She reached up and gave his hand a squeeze to let him know she heard him and appreciated it. "I stopped by last night but Dom said you had gone to sleep shortly after midday and had not woken up yet. Were you worn by your little adventure?"

"I'd have been less tired if I had some survival training. It may have taken me longer to get back but far less stressful." She knew it was pushing but she wanted Roald to know that she needed the help. "Escape is only so helpful if I don't die on the way back."

"Gwen, you just survived one kidnapping attempt. Please don't ask me to put you out where another could happen. Next time they may not be as stupid as they were." Roald's voice was strained. "Next time it could be someone taking you away to kill you."

"Alright, Roald, I won't ask again." She sighed and focused on her food. She wasn't happy with the outcome. She was handicapped in this world in so many ways for everything she knew back home. It was likely she would die young if she didn't learn how to survive. Eventually these attempts on her life would die out as she became less of a novelty and more just a part of the fabric of this world. But she expected the next year or two to be filled with days where she had to struggle to get back. Dom couldn't stop everything. And what would happen if he was injured or died and she was taken. The thought that she would only survive by happenstance was a bit saddening. She didn't have much else to say so she withdrew into silence rather than beat a dead horse. She kept her eyes down on her plate because she knew if she looked up, words would come through her eyes.

She felt emotions rolling off of Roald though he was somewhat stiff. He was concerned, frustrated, but also she felt sadness. She saw him start to say something and stop several times out of the corner of her eye before he decided to focus on his own dinner.

"It's nice you have people who want to protect you like you are the most precious thing in the world." Ivan tried after a tense ten minutes. Gwen looked up and him and clamped her mouth shut. She knew she had to say something so she spoke slowly in hopes to stop herself before she really hurt Roald.

"It is nice," her voice held a bit of the emotions she did not want to leak out. "It is unfamiliar as well. I have always been expected to be self-reliant."

"It must have been hard to never have anyone else to depend on." Ivan tried.

"When I failed I always had someone to turn to but it was expected that when I failed, I fix it myself and not make the same mistake again." She noted that she was trying to fix the problem and Dom was going to help her fix it in a way but Roald was her friend. She hated that she had to go behind his back for it and wanted his approval. She hated that he didn't see how he was hurting her. She wasn't aware she was stabbing the food on her plate with as much dislike as she was until Roald took the fork from her hand.

"Gwen…" he pleaded.

"Roald, it is awfully difficult to be mature when it keeps being pressed back in my face. I need to cool down or I won't be able to monitor my words so nicely. Either let me eat in silence, change the subject, or I will have to leave the room. As Dom looks very comfortable over there by Kel I would be unhappy to force him to leave." She snatched her fork back and attempted to go back to eating but she felt bad suddenly for upsetting Roald and set the fork down to throw her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry. I won't bring it up to you again."

Roald held her for a brief moment before he let her go back to eating. Ivan on her other side waited a moment before he started to tell her about how he discovered the hard way that stealing liquor from the cooks back home was bad for his health. He made Gwen laugh which helped her forget the tension. His little flirts he threw in made her feel human and pretty. At the end of the meal she thanked Ivan and went to join Dom across the room. Roald followed her.

"You like him," Dom teased after Ivan left the room. Gwen blushed but said nothing to confirm or deny. "Here I thought you told me you don't have time for crushes."

"I don't." She said putting her hands on her hips. "I don't have time to endanger more people."

"How does you having a crush endanger anyone?" Neal asked having stayed behind when the others left to speak more with his cousin.

"Say someone wants to get to me, hurt me, draw me out. Having people I care about only makes it easier. If I allow a crush to show, or heaven forbid grow into something more, it puts that person on display. Bad enough things are already happening to me but I chose to be here in this position. A person I have a crush on doesn't have much of a choice." Gwen shook her head. "Especially not him when I believe the Gods are compelling him to stick around."

"I think more than the Gods are compelling him to stick around. I think he likes his little lost maid." Dom teased.

"If I knew a weapon, I'd challenge you on the practice courts for such insolence. As it is, I will make your life a misery." She grinned as Dom raised his hands in defeat. She thought the matter was dropped but as Dom made to take her out of the door, Roald decided to throw in his oar.

"I know he has to do his training with the Own, but we should make a point to invite him to dinner each night and to join us after dinner." Gwen paused at the thought. Having a crush on the handsome man was going to be hard enough but even after explaining why it would be bad to allow the crush on him to continue, Dom and Roald were pressing. This wasn't an argument she was going to win. Now that it was confirmed she enjoyed Ivan's company, Dom and Roald would make it a point to include him.

"I like seeing him make you blush and laugh," Dom told her later when she stood to go to bed. "You act more like one should expect a normal girl your age to act."

"You don't even know how old I am," Gwen had made a point of not revealing her age. No one seemed to guess it right anyway.

"I have a general age range to guess with. My point is, I like what I witnessed at dinner with the exchange between you." With the Dom shooed her off to bed and retreated with Kel to his own room.

Ivan did return the next night for dinner, and the next, and the next. Each time Dom or Roald gave up their seat to him so he could sit next to her. Each night she saw him, it confirmed for her that she did enjoy his company and she looked forward to him joining her for dinner. But it also spiked some anxiety about how much attention she gave him and if her enemies could see who she paid mind to. After two weeks of watching their exchanges over dinner, Dom gave Ivan directions to Gwen's suite of rooms and explained their normal schedule and when Gwen wasn't doing much.

She had given up going to the kitchens on Sundays with a small apology to Chief because it was just too dangerous. Now her Sundays were spent locked in her rooms doing quiet things. Dom still took that time to properly court Kel so he made a point to tell Ivan that Gwen especially needed company on Sundays. Unfortunately for Gwen, Dom neglected to tell her about his invitation to Ivan. She was shocked then when he showed up at her door Sunday morning after breakfast.

"Dom said you could use some company," Ivan explained. He did not seem the least bit phased by her lack of Godssent costuming. While Gwen was the Godssent and apparently inhuman to most of the population, she still felt panic and excitement at the prospect of being alone with Ivan for however long he was planning on staying.

"I wish he would of told me he was going to tell you that," Gwen confessed when she realized Ivan was still standing in the doorway and she had not invited him in. She stepped aside of the door and let him in before she closed the door and locked it up again. "I have a sneaky little guard it seems."

"Well from what I gather from his former squad… yes." Ivan laughed and asked what she normally did on Sundays when she was alone and guardless. She explained about her previous trips to the kitchens and how that had ended and now she spent it mostly reading. "Reading is more of a single person activity." Ivan sighed. "Dom said you do exercises to build up some unarmed skills. Maybe I can help expand your moves." She agreed and showed him to her balcony where they could move about. When winter came in, she would have to make space in the sitting room or in her bedroom to do her routines but for now in late August, it was still nice enough to go out.

After watching her do a routine, Ivan jumped in. By the end of the first ten minutes, Gwen shed her shyness and let herself become comfortable with Ivan showing her how to do some new moves. They worked until midday and then Gwen led him back inside to eat. After midday they went back out and Ivan pushed her to working hard and doing the routines faster until she could take it no longer, begged for a break, and laid down on the stone of the balcony to ease her muscles. She knew the Own did hours of drills without stopping but she had not trained that much. She did one routine in the morning and one at night. That was it. She did not have Ivan's stamina. She mentioned this much to him as he sat down next to her.

"You'll get there." He teased. "Come on, let's get you off of this hot stone." He stood, picked her up off of the stone and brought her inside to the couch in the sitting room where he laid her down on her stomach. Very gently he started to massage her back and shoulders.

"You're going to make me fall asleep," she warned him as her body relaxed. She heard him chuckle but his hands kept moving, easing her muscles on her back and then his hands moved down to her legs. Relaxation was replaced with laughter as Ivan found a very ticklish spot just under her knee to press on accident.

"Oh so you're ticklish. Where else might you be ticklish?" Ivan's hands poked at her sides causing her to turn over and face him to try and stop him from tickling her. His hand found the spot above her knee that always made her jump and squeal.

"Please, oh God, please stop," she begged between gasps of laughter. Laughing was hurting her already tired muscles. Ivan stopped letting her catch her breath and relax again. She looked up at him kneeling next to the couch and meant to thank him for spending time with her and making her day interesting when she noticed an odd look cross his face before he moved closer to her and then gently brushed his lips against hers. Almost immediately after kissing her he bolted leaving her stunned and confused. That was how Dom found her only half an hour later when he and Kel came back from their day together.

"Anything interesting happen today?" Dom asked her carefully because he had expected Ivan to still be there if he had taken Dom up on his offer.

"Ivan came by," she sat up on the couch and buried her face in her hands. "We did some training and then he- he had to go."

"That doesn't sound good." Dom sat down by Gwen while Kel took her other side.

"He kissed me, and then he ran away." Gwen explained. "I'm just a bit confused is all." She knew she had choices in front of her. She could track him down and demand an explanation or she could set it aside and let whatever was going to happen, happen. She could put herself intentionally in his path, or she could wait until he came to her.

"What are you going to do about it?" Kel asked her.

"I don't know yet. But I suppose I had better decide on something before tomorrow." She sighed.

"Well let's get to work on your survival skills," Dom made Gwen grab her notebook and got to work explaining some of the basic rules of survival. While she took notes she thought about Ivan. She would not be too unhappy if he tried to kiss her again, but at the same time it complicated things. She didn't want to appear as if she didn't care by waiting for him to come to her but she also didn't want to make it out to be so much more by putting herself in his path if it had only been a lapse of judgment. The best approach, she decided, was to not change anything. If he came to dinner she would let whatever happen, happen. If he pretended it never happened she would let it go.

Unfortunately she didn't get the chance to enact her plan as Roald informed her the next evening at dinner that he heard Third Company had been called out in the middle of the night. She knew he was letting her know why Ivan was missing from dinner when she seemed a little put out that he had not come. Dom and Kel had promised not to tell anyone about the kiss knowing Gwen didn't want to make a big deal about it if Ivan had only been caught up in the heat of the moment. She decided she would have to wait. Ivan would return at some point and she would find out then if anything had changed.


	13. Chapter 13

Shortly after Gwen had been about for two months, Shinko returned to the palace with Kai. Roald had Gwen join him and his friends in a quiet party to welcome back his wife and child. She attended as the Godssent by Roald's request though she rather would have come dressed down as Gwen. She knew as the Godssent she didn't get to mingle in all that well. As Gwen, she was included and could observe without drawing so much attention to herself. Roald made a point to introduce Shinko and Kai to Gwen right when she came in. Shinko bowed to her and she bowed in return using the Yamani bow Kel had helped her with but Shinko was not moved by her attempt. Kai clung to his father's leg and peeked out at her often. Kai was shy, but Shinko, she sensed, did not like her in the least. So she removed herself to the side of the room where she could sit in the corner and watch the interactions.

It was easy to see that Roald loved Shinko and Kai and missed them as he stayed with them no matter who they moved to speak to. Kai, she noticed partway throughout the night was watching her. She smiled at him which promptly caused him to bury his face in Roald's shoulder while he was being carried about. Roald did not seem to notice his son's antics as he peeked out at Gwen again when she pretended to not be looking. When she knew he was staring at her, she turned to look at him and parted her lips in the most surprised face she could muster. He hid again. They did this for nearly five minutes before Kai demanded to be set down and tottered over to where Gwen was sitting.

She was unaware of all eyes turning to her as Kai came over to her and gave her hand a tug. She moved to kneel on the floor and he touched the colors on her face. She had her face very expressive as he touched the different parts of her face. He tugged at the scarf over her hair and she took it off and gave it to him. It seemed to surprise him that her hair had been covered so his little two year old hands moved to making sure her hair was real. He said nothing to her but his discovery of her did not need words. He touched her arms, her hands, and felt every single finger.

"Kai," he said pointing to himself finally and then pointed to her.

"Gwen," she touched her chest. He repeated the name several times over as if he was tasting the word. Then Shinko came and claimed him back, mutely handing Gwen her scarf back. Then the party resumed and Gwen sat back down to tie her hair back up and watch the interactions again.

"That was interesting," Neal came to sit down by her.

"Everyone tests me in their own way. Hopefully he sees me as a person now and not something scary. I told Roald I didn't want to wear all of this tonight." She sighed. "Are you happy Yuki is back?" She knew that Yuki had accompanied Shinko and Kai to Yaman but Neal had not said much about it.

"I have missed her terribly. She is spending some quiet time with Karin tonight though." Neal, Gwen noted, had mellowed in his romances since she had read the books. But even Kel had said it in Lady Knight that Neal had a reluctance to speak about his Yamani Blossom which led Kel to believe he truly cared for her. She felt that he truly loved his Yuki just like she could see Roald cared for Shinko and Kai. Neal was pulled away to talk with Merric and Owen and Gwen was left alone again.

At the end of the night, Gwen had done a great deal of observing and a small bit of playing with Kai over his mother's shoulder. At the end of the night Roald left without saying good bye and she knew that he wasn't going to be around her nearly as often. And things did change quite a bit for her.

Kel stopped joining her and Dom for morning exercises as she left before dawn to join the Yamani ladies on the royal practice courts for glaive practice. Roald did not stop by her rooms during her down time to talk to her anymore. When she ran into him about the palace he was often brisk with her. He rarely joined her for dinner and when he did, Shinko came too and they sat on the far side of the table. She did not call attention to the change. She understood. Shinko did not like that Roald had spent so much time with her while she was away. She did not like her husband visiting another woman in her rooms or dining with another woman who was unattached and friendly with her husband. Whatever anyone else noticed about the new distance was kept quiet. With Roald spending no time with her and Ivan still gone with Third Company, Gwen only had Dom about to treat her like a person and he didn't do that very often when they were running around talking to people.

A Sunday morning in mid-September marked the passing of her twenty-third birthday with a bit of sadness. She was alone in her rooms, and there was nothing special about the day. At home her dad always sent her a message at midnight competing with her sister to see who messaged her first. Her mother always called her, her brother would send her a text, and she always had cake and ice cream in some form. If she was around her family they always took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner. There were always gifts, and terrible off key singing, something special to do, and candles to blow out with a wish. If someone was about she would ask them to go with her someplace else. After spending an hour moping about it after breakfast she decided to do something about it.

She wrote a note, that she would have the maid that brought her midday take to Myles. She changed into breeches and a shirt in her favorite sage green. She brushed her hair out and used two thin braids to pull it back off of her face before she did up her face paint how she would have done it at home with a light lining on her eyes, darkened lashes, and a touch of red on her lips. She found a pair of simple silver earrings in her vanity and wore them with a silver necklace. Looking in the mirror she saw someone that she had missed.

Myles came for her an hour after midday surprised that she had asked for him because she usually did not ask for him unless it was related to her safety. Quietly and explained about her birthday and not wanting to be alone for it though she had not told anyone because it had not seemed important before. Myles heard her out and then offered his arm and took her to some place in the palace she had never gone, the menagerie. They were joined by Lindhall Reed who proceeded to talk to her about all of the animals in the menagerie. It marked a very entertaining afternoon for her between the two men as Lindhall taught her about the animals and pressed her to say what she knew about the animals in her world. She took dinner with the two men as the talk moved from animals to the culture of the Old Ones while Gwen offered up what she knew about ancient Rome and Greece. She even spoke some Latin much to the amusement of Myles. Then she went back to her rooms feeling better. Dom was not back yet when she returned to her rooms so she had spent the day away with him none the wiser.

When he asked what she had done on her Sunday she mentioned the Myles had come and taken her to see the menagerie but she did not tell him why. He accepted this without question and she thought she had gotten away with not mentioning her birthday to anyone more than Myles and Lindhall but that was broken at an unusually full dinner table that night.

Roald and Shinko had joined them for dinner and then Neal and Yuki as well. Faleron, Seaver, Esmond, Merric, Owen, and Cleon all had come along and then George and Alanna, Baird, Thayet, Buri, and several conservatives who wanted to see the Godssent. Myles came in and handed Gwen a wrapped package and a note. She quietly read the note discovering it was exactly as it appeared: Myles had gotten her a gift for her birthday though he had no obligation to or any real connection with her. She was used to all eyes being on her but this was different. She wanted to do something like this privately but that wasn't an option as Myles insisted she open the box.

She scooted her chair back so Dom on her one side and Faleron on the other wouldn't see what she didn't want them too and opened the lid of the box. Her eyes fell on several things inside of the box. The first was a jewelry box that held a pair of jade drop earrings, a tribute to her middle name that very few people in this world knew. The second was a flat knife in a vine decorated black sheath. The small leather bound book which she extracted from the box to get a better look at. Looking through it she saw it was a language guide but she didn't recognize the language.

"I thought, because you spoke a bit of the language of your Old Ones, you might like learning ours." Myles explained. She wasn't sure what exactly about it had moved her about the gifts but she was having a hard time holding back tears as she set the box down and went to hug the man who had done so much for her in the past day.

"Thank you," she whispered over and over again as he returned her hug. The tears she tried holding back released like storm waters when he let her go and she excused herself from the room escaping to hide in the room where the servants prepared the plates to go out to the main table. She found a stool in the corner and sat hiding as she the emotions she had been pushing aside come out. The servants left her alone, though she could hear them carrying on with putting the meal out. Eventually she felt someone come to kneel beside her and a large warm hand rubbed circles on her back.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dom asked her. Of course it was Dom who had come for her, of anyone he would. "You know I would have stayed with you yesterday and we could have done something fun."

"You spend every day with me," she reminded him. "I really didn't think it would be all that big of a deal to me." She accepted the handkerchief that Dom handed her and dabbed at her eyes seeing the gold color she had painted on her face coming off. "You should go back out and eat."

"You think I'm going to leave you here like this?" Dom raised an eyebrow at her making her chuckle slightly. "Are you going to come back out there with me?"

"I don't want to go out there looking like this," she waved to her face knowing the paint was running and her face was red and blotchy from crying. Dom nodded his understanding and untied the scarf from her hair letting her hair fall around her face and over her shoulders. Then he begged a cup of water from the servants and helped her remove the rest of her face paint and the tear tracks from her face. When she stood, he tugged at her robes until she gave in and let him have it, revealing a dress under the robes.

"Do you feel better?" Dom asked her. She nodded and let him pull her back out into the room full of people that she would rather have just hidden from. "So exactly how old are you?" Dom asked when she sat back down.

"Seventy-eight," she told him with a straight face and flat voice. Having cried made it easier to appear like she was serious though it was a complete lie. She heard someone else choke on their drink and saw many wide eyed stares as she looked over the table. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to ask a lady her age?" She asked Dom. Dom laughed and turned the conversation elsewhere in the very quiet room. It seemed after she had come back out looking like the opposite of the Godssent, no one had much to say. On the way out of the room at the end of dinner, she thanked Myles again and told him how much she appreciated everything.

Right before bed while Kel and Dom were still sitting on the couch talking, Gwen turned to look at Dom. "Twenty-three." She told him when he looked at her. With that she walked away and decided he could figure out what the number meant on his own.


	14. Chapter 14

Gwen woke in the middle of the night with a start, the glass on the windows had in her bedroom shattered. In the dark she saw something from her nightmares. A spider nearly seven feet tall topped with the upper body of a man. In the dark the skin of the human portion of the spidren was bluish as it climbed through the window. Gwen couldn't help herself as she screamed and threw herself from the bed, trying to get to the door. Something thick like rope wrapped around her legs and caused her to fall. She continued to try and crawl towards the door as the spidren laughed. The door flew open and she saw Dom standing with his sword drawn. Then the spidren gave the web around her legs and sharp tug and she screamed knowing it was pulling her back far more quickly than Dom could help and no amount of strength would be able to stop her. There was little Dom could do without injuring Gwen as the spidren pulled her up and then jumped out of the window to carry her into the trees.

It was a nightmare, a terrible nightmare and she couldn't wake up. She couldn't wake up because this was real. A giant half human spider had abducted her from her room and was carrying her through the Royal Forest by swinging from tree to tree. The October air was cold on her skin but it was a distant thought as she saw the fear of heights, spiders, and successful abduction all come together in one terrible terrible nightmare.

This wasn't something she could just escape either. The spidren made it clear as it wrapped her hands and legs with webbing. The crisp night air at least helped with the smell though it didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. She gave up on screaming knowing that they were already far from help. Then at dawn the spidren stopped in a clearing where some very large men stepped out of the trees. She was let go and the webs dissolved off of her body. Her first reaction was to try and run but one of the men caught her with a laugh and bound her wrists and ankles with chains. She was chained to a tree and told very clearly in Common that she was going to stay put, eat the food they gave her, and rest because they would be moving out again at night.

She was handed travel bread and ate it slowly, feeling like she was chewing on styrofoam rather than food but she swallowed knowing she needed strength if an opportunity ever presented itself. The chains that held her to the tree were solid, and she became more and more aware that she was cold in just a thin nightgown in October. She sought out the man who had spoken to her in clear Common when the others seemed to speak a different language.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked when he noticed her eyes on him.

"Hamrkeng in Scanra. You are property of King Maggur Rathhausaknow." He grinned when her eyes widened. There were many places she would rather go than to Scanra and to Maggur. Scanra was holder of the bloody throne. Ownership could change when someone was done obeying him and decided to kill him. As his 'property' she could expect to be passed from ruler to ruler if they allowed her to live. Even if Maggur managed to live out a full life, she didn't want to be his property. This was the man that had allowed Blayce the Gallan to thrive. This was the man that held captives to control his people. She couldn't help but wonder what he would do to her to control her. But she didn't have much of a choice at this point. All she could do was bide her time and look for an opportunity to escape.

"How long does it take to get there?" She pressed.

"You will be delivered to him in the morning." He barked a laugh when she frowned. "King Maggur wanted to make sure you made it to him fresh and not worn out from travel. He also wanted to make sure your precious guard didn't have time to try and rescue you again."

The way he said 'again' made Gwen realize they had no idea she had escaped on her own. They thought that Dom had managed to rescue her the last time. Maybe Dom had thwarted multiple attempts by just being about. So now they did something that was supposed to make sure Dom couldn't get to her. Rather than answer more questions she curled into herself trying to conserve her body warmth. She tried not to show she was too cold or that she was afraid. Rather, she just watched and eventually she slept until the sun went down.

Then the nightmare began again. This time it wasn't a spidren but a hurrok that joined them in the clearing. She would have loved to have known what they offered these bloodthirsty immortals for their help but she wasn't going to ask. The hurrok hovered as she was unchained from the tree and drug to a platform that was wrapped in a thick hemp and chain net. She was chained to a metal loop pounded into the center of the platform and enclosed by the net before the hurrok took off. The men below were left behind as she flew over the land. She tried talking to the hurrok, asking it to let her go. She tried begging the gods for help but there was no help for her.

She didn't sleep the entire night as she shivered from fear and cold while the land moved under her. Once she saw a larger camp below her and guessed that she may have seen Third Company. They certainly saw her as an arrow arched up in the air near the platform. She couldn't move her hands away from the center of the platform to signal anything so she just had to let them pass by under her without letting them know anything about what was happening to her. They passed over the Vassa, a great roaring river she could hear clearly though she was high up. And then she watched the road they flew over, though it made her ill, trying to remember the road that would lead her back to Tortall.

Hamrkeng was not the kind of city she expected to see. It was full of drab wooden structures that she couldn't tell if they were homes or shops. The focal point of the city was a large cold stone castle surrounded by a tall stone wall and a moat. The wall was topped with hard looking men in an array of different armors looking out over the city. This was where the hurrok was bringing her. She suddenly didn't want to land and she begged the hurrok again to please bring her back. She would do anything.

It set her down in a courtyard where more men unhooked the platform and forced her to stand. She was drug inside by the chains and through the halls. The place felt cold hearted, dark, lifeless, barren. The walls were clear of any hangings or pictures, only torches lighting here and there. The floors were bare stone with no runners or rugs. She passed many closed wooden doors with heavy black iron locks and she began to wonder if she would be locked up like a prisoner as well. The chains stopped being tugged and she looked up at the door. It was plain, it looked like any other door. The man tugging her chains knocked on the door. A voice inside called for her to be brought in. The door opened and she was drug inside.

This room was cold too but it was not bare. It was covered in animal skins. The chairs, the couch, the bed, the walls, the window, all coated in furs and leather. There was a fire burning in the fireplace and she was drug over in front of it to be thrown down at the feet of someone sitting in a chair.

"Look up at me," a clear, precise male voice demanded. She did not obey. "Look up at your new master Godssent." She heard a bit of bite in his voice this time but she did not obey.

"Perhaps if you asked her," a lighter male voice instructed from nearby. She heard a growl in response.

"Godssent, please will you show me your face?" The man in front of her asked. She did not look up. Part of her defiant mind said she was the Godssent, she was to be treated with respect and so far none of this was respectful. She had been drug from her bedroom in the middle of the night by a monster, and then chained to a tree in not but her nightgown, and then flown by another monster to a castle where she was being told what to do by a 'master'. The man in front of her growled and she felt his hand grip her chin with a bruising hold and forced her to look up.

Whatever she had expected Maggur to look like, this was not it. She had two different views of the man. She either expected him to be much like Stenmun had been described: large, overly muscled, covered in furs, and with long hair and an untamed beard. Or she expected him to be a plain man that would be easily overlooked. This man in front of her was maybe in his late forties, six feet tall, muscled but not overly so, clean shaven, with short cropped blond and gray hair, cold gray intelligent eyes, and neatly dressed in black breeches and a red crisp shirt. The man to his side who had suggested he ask her to look up rather than demand it was younger with short brown hair, brown eyes, and dressed in red robes. She guessed him to be a mage.

"Godssent, you will obey me for you belong to me now. If you do not obey me, I will have this man spell you into obedience." Maggur's harsh tone did not faze her. "Now will you be a good girl?" She hated him. She wanted to kill him and he must have seen it in her eyes because he laughed at her. "Of course not. I did not think so." To the man holding her chains he made some sort of signal and she felt the chains being taken off. "I will enjoy breaking you."

He lifted her up and tore her night gown off, not caring about the other two men in the room. He drug her over to the bed and bent her over it, pushing her face into the hard mattress. She did not stay silent for long as he pushed inside of her. She had not been a virgin, but she had not been with a man in some time and Maggur was not being gentle. She screamed into the mattress but there was nothing she could do to stop him. It went on forever, his one hand on her hip and the other holding her head down with a bruising hold on her neck. Then he was done and he let her go but she stayed put. He gripped her by her hair and made her sit up and look at him.

"Spell her," Maggur's voice was calmer now. The red robed man came over to her, yellow tinged light sparkling at his fingertips. He touched her forehead with the magic and she felt it sink into her skin like electricity. And just like she read emotions, she could feel the intent of the spell. It was meant to make her compliant and if anything, she didn't want to let on that she was immune to the magic. So she let her face haze over with a distant, dreamy look, and smiled up at Maggur.

"Now isn't that better?" She nodded eagerly. "Good, you will stay in my room with me and you are expected to pleasure me at night. If you are good, I may let you see outside of this room." With that Maggur threw a bundle of clothing at her and led his mage and the guard away. The door closed and she heard a lock slide into place. The moment he was gone, the smile slipped from her face.

Maggur had just raped her. She had no way to protect herself from pregnancy and the last person's child she wanted to carry was Maggur's. But she had other things to worry about. She was currently locked in a room in the palace, in Hamrkeng, in Scanra, far far from Tortall. She was apparently spelled to be compliant so she had to do as she was told and do it happily or she would let off that she could not be spelled and worse forms of controlling her would be used.

In the end, as she pulled on the dress Maggur had left for her, she decided on a path. She would have to be compliant until he thought she was completely controllable and then maybe he would let her out of the room and maybe out of his sight. She was still afraid that she would have to 'pleasure' him each night, especially after the painful rape she had just undergone, but she would have to do it. So she decided it wasn't going to be good to wallow. She would do better if she got some more rest. She curled up on the hard bed and slept.

She was woken up by the mage at dinner time. He brought her dinner and sat with her while she ate. "When you decide to just do as he says, I can stop feeding you these potions to be compliant," the mage told her. He waved at the food she ate. She kept her face passive and kept eating knowing that the magic in the potions would not make her compliant. "Do you need a healing from earlier? I know he can be somewhat rough." The mage was trying to be kind but she shook her head. She knew a healing would be visible proof she couldn't be touched with magic. "If you are sure," he sighed. "I am sorry about this, I don't have a choice here. If I did, I would have left you in Tortall."

Gwen focused on his face. He wasn't Scanran, his Common was perfect and unaccented. She kept her face blank as she watched him though. She wasn't sure what a compliant person would say in response so she said nothing.

"He has my sister locked away. If I don't do as he says he will kill her. I hope you and the gods understand that I do not enjoy this." He reached over and stroked the side of her face. "I'm sorry." With that he left her and the lock slid back into place. She at least knew how the immortals had been compelled to bring her there. A mage had controlled them because he himself was being controlled and now he was 'controlling' her.

Maggur came back later that night and stripped down and then stripped her down. She reminded herself to be compliant but she made him have to tell her what to do. She found a much gentler man now that he wasn't angry with her. She hoped it didn't take too long for him to trust her so the nighttime pushing of her ability to pretend to be compliant would end before she snapped and attempted to suffocate him in his sleep.

Her days were spent alone in the room. The mage came every day with every meal and reminded her that all she had to do was be good and this could stop. She kept her face blank with a pleasant little smile. He told her everything except his name. He apologized to her and the gods every day after dinner and then left her. She spent the time alone doing exercises and going over the maps that were in the books in Maggur's bookshelf. She memorized their exact placement on the bookshelf just in case Maggur had that memorized to keep track of her. Maggur came to bed each night, stripped himself and then her and then proceeded to order her to what he wanted. She would give in and do whatever he asked though it made her ill with worry that she would get pregnant.

She had no notion of how many days had passed but she did know winter had come at some point by looking out the window and seeing snow. She guessed it had maybe been a month. November was winter in the north. She wondered how those in Tortall were faring. She wondered about Dom and what had happened to him after he told about the monstrous spidren that had made off with her in the middle of the night. She wondered if it had been Third Company that had seen her and if they had even known it was her. She wondered about Roald and if he even really noticed she was gone since he had become so distant after Shinko had come back.

She found herself intrigued to know how King Jonathon had responded to her capture by the country that had decided to be his constant enemy. Would he have been relieved she was out of his hair or would he have been upset she had gone to his enemy? She knew he didn't like her. He spent as little time as possible around her and when he was around her, it was brief. She wished she had a way of knowing but she knew if she asked the gods wouldn't answer. They didn't answer her when she prayed after Maggur arrived each night. They didn't answer when she thought she would go mad inside of the room locked in. They didn't answer for their own Godssent.

On the morning the day after Long Night, she remembered something very clearly that had been told in high school. God helps those who help themselves. Surely that applied now when the gods were even more tangible to her. Surely she could find a way to help herself as Maggur presented his Midwinter gift to her, a chance to leave the room.


	15. Chapter 15

The morning started with her being force fed a compliance potion which Maggur tested by making her strip in front of him and the mage and told her to go kiss the mage. Drunk with the idea she might get to leave the room, she complied happily. She was then handed leggings, a thick warm gown, a fur lined cloak, boots, and gloves. Dressed she took Maggur's offered arm and followed him out of the room and then outside to a courtyard where she was amazed by how bitterly cold it was. Maggur walked her around the palace, pointing out all of the areas she was allowed to go. He pointed out the areas she was not allowed such as the armory, the training yards, and naturally the barracks. Then he demanded that she return to the room for dinner. She nodded and then he let her go.

It took all of her mental strength not to turn and run right away. She knew he was probably having her watched so she would have to earn some trust outside of the room before she could run away. She let everyone believe she was a simple minded girl that had the misfortune of being Maggur's lover. It didn't seem to be public knowledge that she was the Godssent. She walked around outside until she got too cold and then she walked around inside. She memorized the path to the armory and the path to the side gates. She memorized the movements of people coming in and out of the gates. Many people from the city left just before dinner. She would have to use that time to get out so she could disappear in the crowd. It nearly killed her to return that night for dinner knowing she had had a chance to go, but it was not the right time to go.

Each morning she was force fed the concentrated potion, the instructions for the day were laid out by Maggur, and then she was left to her own devices. Some days she stayed in the room with the door closed exercising or looking over the maps. Other days she walked about, watching the people moving and walking the same paths that she would take out of the castle when she knew the time was right. December wore into January and Maggur seemed very happy with his little compliant Godssent. She stopped feeling like she was being watched but she maintained the need to stick around thinking that if she went too soon, she would be caught.

Luck was on her side at the end of January as some unrest in one of the more northern clans had Maggur enough on edge that he decided to address the problem himself. He took part of his army north with first instructions to her and the mage that she was to remain on the compliance potions and the same rules were to be told to her each day. She started to gather things. A pair of daggers from the armory snatched when the person guarding it had gone to the privy were the first things to add to her collection. A flask and a small bag that wouldn't be visible under her cloak were her next acquisitions. A head scarf from one of the laundry joined the pile so she could keep her head warm and cover her dark hair. The rolls from her breakfast, lunch, and dinner were stashed in a tin she had lined with linen handkerchiefs.

A week after Maggur left, she was force fed her compliance potion, read her instructions, and then left to her own devices. She dressed as warmly as she could, layering up several of Maggur's shirts, leggings under a pair of shortened breeches under a warm dress, several pairs of stockings inside of her fur lined boots and an extra pair of socks stuffed into her bag incase her gloves failed to warm her hands enough. Then she began to wander with her bag on her back under her cloak. Right before dinner she wrapped her hair up in the scarf and then she joined the crowd leaving the castle for the city. She followed the majority of them, keeping her head down against the wind. She ducked between two buildings and then waited for activity on the streets to ease up. When she was certain almost every person in the city was eating dinner, she booked her way out of the city into the woods where could taste freedom. She walked for most of the night, keeping on deer trails through the woods hoping it disguised her tracks enough in the snow. She made sure to use rocks wherever she could and kept a constant pace. The daggers moved from sheaths on her thighs to the belt of her dress so she could reach them better if needed. Then when dawn started to come, she got lucky and found a hollowed out dead tree. She curled up inside and covered herself with her cloak.

She slept easily despite the snow and the cold. She woke after midday, ate a bun and took an icicle hanging from one of the trees to suck on while she walked. It was a good plan to keep her water intake up while she kept moving. Icicles were easy to find and snow was everywhere. As long as it was white she was okay with eating it. She walked through the night and slept during the first part of the day. It was an easy pace she kept figuring she did nearly three miles each hour and at least thirty miles each day. But her bread was running out and finding food was not an option. She reduced her food intake and ate more snow and icicles hoping to convince her body it was food.

She thanked the gods every day for the warm clothes she had on, the fact she had not been found if they were looking for her, and that she was getting somewhere. She was a bit concerned about the Vassa. How did one get across the Vassa when it didn't freeze over the winter? She would have to find something. Her thoughts stopped at the Vassa. One problem at a time was her motto.

She had spent much of her time in Maggur's castle silent, now she sang to keep herself company and keep pace. She told herself stories out loud, fairy tales and Aesop's fables trying to remind herself of the lessons. On moonrise of day six outside of Hamrkeng, she met the Vassa running slightly smoother with the frozen weather. She assumed when it warmed up it would remember how to roar again. It was too cold to get wet, that was the main part of her thoughts as she walked down the side of the river at the tree line. She needed a crossing, a place where there were rocks, ice, or a narrow strip. Just before dawn, she found her best bet, a series of rocks that would be rapids when the water level rose. She took her time stepping from stone to stone, wanting to get to the other side in one piece and dry. When she landed she sighed in relief but did not let her guard down.

Now that she was across the Vassa she needed to find help. The northern border was dotted with forts. If she kept walking she might find New Giantkiller, Mastiff, Northwatch, or Steadfast. She couldn't walk anymore though. Her body was spent. She needed to rest. So she found a place inside a small copse of trees meaning to just rest a little while and then walk the rest of the way. Her eyes closed and she slept.

The warm breath of something large above her woke her with a start and she felt something big knock into her. The thing above her was large and horse shaped. At first she feared the mage had controlled another hurrok and it had come after her. Then she got a better look and realized the nose that knocked her over was not connected to red eyes or sharp teeth. The hooves next to her were not clawed. It was just a horse, but it could still be an enemy's horse. She stood quickly saw it was riderless though it had a saddle on, and strained her ears.

"Damn horse just dumped me in the snow." A man's voice was not too far away but not right next to her. It had to be outside the trees. There was laughter that followed. It could have been a patrol from one of the forts but it could also be enemies. She looked at the horse and realized what he best bet was. She mounted up quickly and did exactly what no one guessed she knew how to do. She eased the horse out of trees and kicked it into the fastest she could dare. She heard shouts behind her as the men realized one of their horses was being stolen. She stood in the stirrups and leaned forward, telling the horse what a good horse it was and it only had to take her so far.

She heard thundering hooves behind her and knew she was being chased. She urged the horse to its top speed but realized the other horses were keeping up and she didn't want to kill the beast so she made the horse stop abruptly and dismounted with one quick move and pulled the daggers from her belt. She held them aloft and faced the men that were now staring at her.

"I won't go back. Maggur can rot in bed alone." She growled. Then men looked between each other, clearly stunned by this change of events. And then one dismounted and pulled back his hood of his cloak.

"Gwen?"

Things went quickly from there. She was taken to what she was told was New Giantkiller where she was shown to a room to clean up and change into fresh clothing that had clearly belonged to a man. Then when she was clean she was shown into the mess hall where she was brought before one of the commanders at the fort, Lord Raoul. He pushed a hot cider at her and some warm stew which she ate gratefully.

"You've been missing for quite some time, little lady," Raoul said after she finished her bowl of stew. "Do you want some more?" She looked at the empty bowl and shook her head.

"It's not good to overeat when I've been living on snow, ice, and scant portions of rolls for a week." She sighed and sipped at the cider. She knew Wolset and his squad were watching her from their seats. It had been their patrol that had found her, Lightning that had dumped Ivan on his behind in the snow to find the girl in the trees and Ivan that had recognized her. They kept a respectful distance though. She started to tell Raoul everything. She started with the spidren which she knew he had already heard about. She spoke about the camp in the woods she had spent the day at and the hurrok that had flown her to Hamrkeng. She spoke about her defiance of Maggur and how he raped her. She knew she was crying at this point but she kept going. She spoke about the compliance spell and the potions she was force fed. She spoke about having to bed Maggur each night. She spoke of the mage and how he apologized to her each day and how she was certain his sister would die because she had escaped and she felt terrible about it. She spoke about her luck that Maggur had had to leave, and her fear that he would come after her when he finally discovered she was gone. She spoke of how she knew she was lucky to have made it back to Tortall with no shelter from the brisk wind except many layers of clothing and how she scared she was when she heard the men coming for her. Raoul moved to sit on her side of the bench while she gathered herself back together after the tale and he held her.

"Dom would be so proud of you," he informed her. "I'm proud of you. Stronger women than you would break under those conditions. It's terrible to say, but you seemed to have thrived."

"I do not want to go down in history as the woman who thrived while being held captive and raped each night." She said bitterly. It was rape whether she pretended to be compliant or not. If she had not given in, she would have had the painful experience she first had. Maybe she would feel better about herself now if she had fought, but she also would have been still trapped inside of the castle in Hamrkeng.

"Well, we have you now. What do you want? I can have a squad take you back to Corus leaving in the morning. I can keep you here until the whole company leaves. Or I can escort you myself and we could leave now." She let the tension go in her body as she heard her options. No matter what, she would return to Corus.

"Can I have some time to think about it? I'm just kind of overwhelmed." She felt a headache coming on that usually came after she cried and now with the increased noise in the messhall as men came in for Midday, she wasn't sure what was going on. It was too much noise after the quiet of the last four months.

"Of course," Raoul told her and then flagged someone down. "Let me know whenever you have your mind made up." She felt someone give her arm and tug and looked up into Ivan's kind blue eyes.

"Sir, has anyone sent a message to the palace?" She asked before she let Ivan take her away.

"Not yet. I wanted to give them a time frame depending on when you want to leave." She nodded to Raoul's response and let Ivan take her back to her room. Ivan's arm around her as they walked outside gave her a bit of warmth. As he led her into the room she had been given it occurred to her that the last time she had seen Ivan, he had kissed her and the bolted. It felt like forever ago and it was. It had been almost half a year. Ivan stayed as she curled up on the bed and tucked her in.

"Gwen," he stroked her hair back. "Do you want me to stay?"

"I'm alright," she whispered but she didn't look at him.

"Can I stay anyway? I've been worried about you." He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You shouldn't want to," she turned to face him.

"I want to anyway, and I'll keep you warm." He laid down next to her, on top of the covers and moved her until her head was on his chest and not on the pillow. She was too tired to argue so she let herself fall asleep against him.

Ivan woke her for dinner and then returned to his duties. At that time she had an idea of what she wanted to do. She found Raoul as the mess sitting with Flynn and Qasim and sat down by him.

"When is Third Company planning on going back to the palace?" She asked when she had his attention.

"When it warms up a bit, but that could be end of March, maybe April." Flynn informed her.

"He controlled Immortals to get to me. I'm not equipped to deal with giant things that want to eat me. And he will be a bit put off I escaped. Eventually he's going to track me down. What's better? Get off the border faster or travel with a larger number of people?" Her options all had different benefits.

"I'd rather have you off of the border. The more distance we can put between him and you, the more barriers we can have in place." Raoul informed her. "I'm quite capable of fighting off the nasty things that wish to eat you, but I understand if you would prefer a squad."

"Can I have both you and a squad as option number four?" Gwen asked. It would make her feel far safer having both Raoul and a squad of men about though she expected to be turned down.

"Yes," Raoul's quick response made her look up. "I'll inform Sergeant Wolset his squad needs to be ready to leave in the morning." He patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll take care of you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to let the King know we have you and we are bringing you home."

"I'm sure he'll just be thrilled with how much he likes me." Gwen was too tired to keep her sarcasm to herself.

"He's been trying to search for you but you can't be scryed for. There's a reason we are still on the border. We intended to head back before Midwinter but he asked us to stay in case you showed up or he got information on where you were." Raoul told her softly. "It may be because he wants the Godssent in Tortall rather than Scanra, but he will care that you are here." With that Raoul left to get a message to the King and Gwen sat and ate before she went back to her room to sleep so she could be ready to travel in the morning.

Ivan woke her at dawn, brought her down to the mess and made sure she got plenty to eat before leading her out to the stables where everyone was gathering. Raoul helped her to bundle up in winter gear and then he armored her and pulled a King's Own insignia'd tunic over the top of everything like the others had. She realized she was supposed to look like them. But the extra weight in armor made it so she couldn't mount up on her own when Ivan brought his mare Thunder around for her. Raoul solved her problem by picking her up and pushing her over the saddle.

Riding with Wolset's squad and Raoul was entertaining. They told her stories and put her at ease about her safety. At night though, she worried more. She did not want to sleep with the possibility of immortals nearby. She had no idea why she had slept better on Scanran soil than Tortallan soil but Raoul explained it was probably because she had been abducted on Tortallan soil. She didn't see one immortal in Scanra except the hurrok that brought her there. Ivan did he best to solve her sleeping problem by crawling in with her at night, holding her close and offering up extra warmth that the bedroll did not give in winter. It helped but not much as it sometimes reminded her of Maggur in bed with her.

She almost let out a sigh of relief when she saw the capital in the distance. It was home but it was also much like the restrictions she had undergone in Hamrkeng. She couldn't leave the palace grounds but instead of potions they gave her a guard. A much loved guard, but still a guard meant to keep her from escaping. When she mentioned this, Raoul forced the men to stop, pulled Gwen from her saddle and hugged her.

"No one here wants to imprison you or force you to do anything. Everything we have done is to ensure your safety from things like what you have just escaped from. I know protection can often look very similar to being caged, but our motives are different. I have no doubt that in good time, when things calm down, you will be able to go where you please when you please. Until then, you're safest at the palace under guard."

"I know. I just hate being a prisoner." She whispered. Then she was helped to remount and they pushed forward so they could reach the palace by sunset.


	16. Chapter 16

They arrived at the palace it the quiet of sunset, passing through the gates and heading straight for the stables of the Own. She wasn't completely useless as she brushed Thunder down, murmuring what a good horse she was for putting up with her fidgeting and her inability to mount up in the armor. The hard work, like taking the saddle off and cleaning the tack was done by Ivan before he went to care for Lightning. She tried to ignore the concerned looks that were being shot her way more and more frequently after she had mentioned the palace feeling like a prison.

Still fully dressed and armored as the Own she was handed a saddlebag and followed Raoul into the barracks of the Own and then to Raoul's rooms inside of the palace. She felt like an intruder as he greeted Buri after having been gone longer than she had been in Scanra. She let them have their time as while she slipped into the room that had been Kel's not all that long before.

It was bare of decoration. The bed, just a mattress on a frame. The desk and bookshelf empty. Armor and weapons racks stood as blank as when they had first been made. And yet, this was the place she knelt down and offered up her thanks to the Goddess that she had not become pregnant whether by manipulation, some defect of her own, or by sheer luck. This was the place she offered up thanks for safe passage to Tortall and for being found by friends. This was the place she apologized for doubting the gods though she did not know what purpose her time in Scanra served her other than to confirm Scanra needed help and Maggur needed to be replaced.

"Buri thought you might like a bath before everyone comes tracking through here to make sure you came back in one piece," Raoul said leaning on the doorframe. "I ordered one up for you. Buri went to go find something for you to wear other than men's clothing."

"But I kind of like the men's clothing," Gwen plucked at the shirt. With her hair pulled back and the loose shirt and breeches she appeared like a boy at times. A pretty and young boy but still a boy. "It's easier to be a boy."

"But then you wouldn't be so charming." Raoul teased. "So bath, then I ordered a small meal, then I will debrief the others on what happened. I didn't tell them anything other than we had you and I was bringing you back." Gwen nodded her approval of the schedule and sat to await the arrival of her bath.

The bath was the first bath she had had since she left Tortall. In Hamrkeng she had washed by dabbing water from the basin over her skin and then scrubbing her hair over the same basin. In New Giantkiller it had been the same. She felt like this was the first time she could really scrub what Maggur had done off of her body, but no matter how much she scrubbed, she still felt him. She reasoned it was because she had not yet forgiven herself for what she had done. Buri brought clothes and food in for her after she had been in the bath for ten minutes, telling her Raoul would come and get her when he was done talking to the others who had yet to arrive. Gwen nodded, got out of the bath, dressed, at her food, and curled up on the empty bed and wait.

_She found herself sitting in front of Dom, Roald, Myles, King Jonathon, and Raoul. The tension in the air was so thick she could hear it humming. It made her stomach churn with fizzing nerves. None of them would look at her, except King Jonathon. His blue eyes were cold as they looked at her._

_"King Maggur has contacted us. He knows you are missing and he is blaming Tortall. He is threatening war because we have kidnapped you, his wife." Jonathon's voice was icy. His wife! Her mind screamed. She was not his wife! "You have done us a great disservice returning here."_

_"I won't go back," she tried to tell him. He signaled to someone behind her. "You can't send me back." She tried to turn to Roald. "Roald you can't let him do this," she was crying. She started to scream and beg as strong arms wrapped around her waist. She screamed for Roald and Dom to stand up for her. They were supposed to be her friends. She screamed for Raoul who knew what Maggur had done to her. She was turned around and she saw it was Ivan carrying her off. "No! Please!" She cried._

"Gwen, please wake up," she heard a gentle voice in her ear. She felt strong arms wrapped around her body, cradling her, and her head was pressed up against something hard.

"Please don't make me go back," she whispered into the arms that held her feeling the tears leaking out of her eyes.

"No one is going to make you go back," Roald's voice was firm and reassuring and somewhere in her mind she connected that it was him holding onto her. "I won't let them."

"Shinko isn't going to be too thrilled you're this close to me," she heard the words come out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"You're probably right, but I couldn't let you keep believing that I would let you go." Roald's hold did not loosen on her. "No one here is going to let you go." She didn't respond, rather she just took a few moments to pull herself back together and try and return her breathing to normal.

"Has _he _contacted here yet?" She nearly hissed out the word 'he' as Roald returned her to sitting on the bed.

"Only once a day since the day before we heard from Raoul that he had you." Dom's voice made her look up and realize she was not alone with Roald in the room and had quite the audience with Dom, Ivan, Myles, George, and King Jonathon himself.

"It tipped us off that we should be hearing from you soon. He seems to think we kidnapped you." Myles informed her.

"I get no credit for my two escapes from him. He seems convinced that Dom pulled me out of that cart in the middle of the night the first time. And there was mention of him thwarting other attempts. I can only remember one other one," she looked to Dom who nodded.

"He's threatening war if we don't return you though we have not admitted to you being in Tortall." King Jonathon's voice was measured and even, not betraying anything he was thinking but he was nervous. She could feel it on him.

"No…" she sounded childish and small even in her own ears.

"Jon, it would be ill advised to make the Godssent believe you are sending her back." George spoke up. "No such thing will happen, lass."

"When you are feeling up to it, visitors have been arriving from all around the world to meet the Godssent. They, and their royal counterparts in their respective countries, were not thrilled to see their travels were for nothing since the Godssent was being hidden away." Myles told her softly. "If Maggur wants war, he'll have many countries to answer to now."

"Shall we continue with the debriefing?" Raoul asked after clearing his throat to get attention. "Ivan," he barely had to say the name before Ivan detached himself from the rest of them and went to sit next to Gwen after Roald left his place on the bed.

"So what part did I play in that dream that had you calling my name like I was Maggur himself?" Ivan asked putting a comforting arm about her shoulder.

"The King signaled someone to take me away, to take me back to Maggur, and it was you." She shuddered.

"You can be assured I would maybe pretend to follow his orders, but sending you back to the man that makes you wake up crying at night is not my style. I'd rather rescue a damsel than put her back in harm's way." He sighed looking at the door. "I suppose treason doesn't look all that good. We'd have to find a new country. I personally think we'd do well on some empty tropical island and we can avoid that whole royalty issue."

"Oh?" She let him tell her how he would build them a shelter among the treetops and how he would protect her. He told her about all the glorious tropical foods she could eat and learn how to prepare for him, because if he was building the shelter and protecting her, she could at least make him a meal or two. It made her laugh which in turn got him to laugh.

"Do you still feel drawn to me?" She asked when the laughter had died down for a bit.

"I do," he admitted confidently.

"Do you know why yet?"

"It might be because I want to kiss you again." He told her softly, moving his fingers under her chin and turning her head so she would look at him. Just before his lips touched hers she turned away and felt his lips graze her cheek instead.

"I don't know how much Raoul told you or that you guessed, but I'm fairly damaged goods." She tried to explain.

"Have I cared all the way here?"

"I don't know if I can," she sighed.

"Why?" He didn't sound childish or whiny. He was simply asking for her reasoning. She could at least give him that much.

"Several reasons actually. First, I'm not even comfortable with myself after what I did in Scanra. How can I be comfortable pursuing any relationship if I'm not even comfortable with myself? Second, a relationship of any kind endangers whoever I enter one with. If Maggur were to discover that you were anything to me, he might hurt you to get to me or to teach me a lesson for running away and I certainly could not allow that. Thirdly, relationships tend to lead to sex…"

"I won't hurt you like he did," Ivan cut her off. "You can trust me enough to know that already." She knew he was right about that but it wasn't where she was going with her explanation.

"What he did will be hard to get passed, but yes, I can trust you enough to know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me. But it's something else." She bit her lip knowing she hadn't even told Roald or Dom. "I'm immune to the Gift, meaning I can't wear a pregnancy charm." Her voice barely came out above a whisper. Off of those words he could make the connection she had done everything in Scanra somewhat willingly. Off of those words he would know how easy it was to kill her, how hard to save her, how much he really didn't want to get involved.

"You haven't told anyone else this, have you?" Ivan gripped her much smaller hands, giving them a squeeze when she refused to answer. "Sex isn't all that important."

"You're such a liar." Gwen tried a smile but it didn't work.

"Alright, I will miss it. But I would regret letting you walk away based on it. As for the other things, item number one on the list: I shall have to do my best to help you realize you did what you did to get back alive. There is no shame in that no matter how much of it was done willingly or based on fear of the consequence. Second on the list: I am a big tough warrior now. I can protect you, myself, and a whole army all alone because I'm a member of the Own." He stopped when she laughed. "So I'd like to kiss you." He turned her head again but she shook hers.

"Not yet." She sighed. "I'm not ready for any of this yet."

"I can wait," Ivan threw himself back on the bed and much like he did the first night she met him, put his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. "I would like to continue sharing your bed though. Besides making me feel like I'm doing something important to make you feel better, I would lose some credibility to my stories that I rescued the Godssent and now she loves me."

"Lightning rescued me this time. And once again I did all of the work first." She teased.

"Well fair maiden, at least let me rescue your head from an uncomfortable pillow."

"You're a silly man. A silly, charming, very flirtatious man. I very much believe that when I told Raoul you belonged in Third Company I was just putting you with your own kind." Gwen stopped as she saw Ivan's hands leave the space behind his head and aim for her knee. "That's not fair, you can't do that," she squealed as he squeezed the place above her knee that he had discovered months before would make her jump.

"Sounds like they are having fun in there," King Jonathon commented when he heard the sound of laughter coming through the closed door. He saw Raoul try and smooth a smile away from his lips and nearly pounced. "What do you know about this?"

"Ivan cares for Gwen. He has been fussing over her since he brought her back to New Giantkiller. With the exception of the first night, he has been sharing her bedroll because she has not slept soundly." Raoul shrugged. "Ivan makes her sound like her again."

"She has lasting damage from the potions and spells?" Jonathon asked.

"Has anyone asked her how she managed to escape while the potion was in effect?" George interrupted.

"She didn't say and I didn't push," Raoul sighed. "Though I wondered the same thing. But she is the Godssent. Maybe she just willed her way out."

"Why wouldn't she have done it earlier if she could have? Why allow herself to be compliant to Maggur after she knew what he was going to do to her?" Roald asked visibly upset.

"She said when she first was drug before him, he told her to look upon her new master and she refused. He told her again and she refused. He asked her, at the request of his mage, and she refused. He forced her to look at him then, told her she would obey or be spelled into it. He baited her then, asking if she would be a good girl. He had her unchained, drug her to the bed and forced himself on her the way he would if she didn't comply. Why wouldn't she will herself to be free of the magic? She was avoiding unnecessary pain until she had an opportunity." Another squeal of laughter made its way through the door making Raoul quirk an eyebrow.

"Does she have any lasting damage that we know of from the potions or spells?" Jonathon asked again.

"I think she has more lasting damage from the abduction itself. It seems she has a rather large fear of spiders that was not helped by being abducted by a Spidren." Raoul supplied. "And I'm guessing by some of the things I've heard Ivan saying to her in the middle of the night, from the initial rape as well."

"Does she hate me for not being able to act quick enough to save her?" Dom asked burying his face in his hands. "Goddess and Mithros know I hate myself for it."

"From how she described it, there wasn't much you could do without hacking off her leg." Raoul pointed out. "Or at least that's how she saw it so I do not believe she thought you could do anything for her and therefore does not hate you." Raoul turned to Myles. "What are we doing about Maggur asking for her to be returned?"

"I'm afraid to say this but we can't give her any time to adjust." Jonathon said slowly. "Tomorrow morning she will have to be the Godssent and do as used to. She needs to meet with foreign dignitaries and ambassadors. She needs to tell them the same things she's been telling our people. Only that is going to convince them and their royal counterparts that she's worth snuffing out another ruler."

"Can't we give her a day or two? She escaped Hamrkeng, walked across Scanra in the middle of winter living on stale rolls, snow, and ice, and crossed the Vassa and then rested for less than a full day before we made our way here. She hasn't even been here more than a few hours and already and she's already proven she's still afraid that he's going to get her back somehow." Raoul asked leaned forward on his desk.

"I am sorry, but if we want support, we cannot give her more than tonight." Jonathon turned to look at the door and realized it was open and Gwen was standing in the doorway. Her head was cocked to the side and her eyes held a look he couldn't identify.

"So that's it then. I'll resume my role as 'Godssent' in the morning. The rest of this meeting was pointless as it doesn't really matter what he did to me and it can be over with." She narrowed her gaze onto the King alone, her heart feeling like the winter winds she had left outside but her voice was kept conversational. "I only ask you to consider if you would have cared more if it had been one of your daughters taken. Maggur could easily decide he'd rather have a Princess of Tortall to be his play toy rather than the Godssent." She looked to Dom. "Am I staying in the same place or have my rooms been moved because I would like to get back to pretending things are normal."

"We have you in the same place. I think you'll like the changes I've had them make to your windows though." Dom informed her as he stood. When she stepped out of the doorway Ivan moved to take her arm. Gwen stopped him.

"I know you want to but I've got to appear like nothing can touch me, not even after what he did to me." She quirked a small smile. "I'm sorry your stories are going to lose some credit though." Ivan gave her a look that told her she wasn't being funny and then glanced up at the grand company in the room before pulling her against him and tilting her face up.

"There's a reason that I've found you twice now out in the wilderness. I only want to take care of you. Please let me do the one thing that I think helps." A hint of pleading entered his voice. "Please Gwen."

"I'll be alright, maybe better. I'm sorry." She whispered as she broke apart from him and turned to let Dom escort her out.

"I don't know how you let her go," Raoul chuckled when Ivan came to sit down.

"She's two different people in the same body. She's Gwen, the sweet, intelligent, kind hearted maid I found wandering in the woods who only wants to help. But then she's also the Godssent, the calculating, benign, unearthly being that cannot be touched. Gods it's difficult to be in love with one and be spurned by the other." Ivan heard a laugh and turned to look at George who wasn't holding it in.

"Lad, I'm not sure if you've noticed but that's all women. A woman in the public eye like Gwen has a public life and a private life. You just happened to meet the private life first which is why you are confused. I suggest you go after her." George smiled as Ivan rose.

"Then I'd better gather my armor in case she attacks me on sight." With that Ivan left.

"What's your plan then?" Jonathon turned to his son. "Are you going to bring her about to speak to the right people or should I?"

"You know the two of you will probably bite each other's heads off if you spend the day together." Roald pointed out. "I'll accompany her." Roald turned to Raoul. "If Ivan is still alive in the morning shall I send him back your way?"

"Nah, he's been fairly good about knowing what she needs and what is excessive. He'll find his way back when Gwen doesn't need him. And his squad will want reports of how she is doing." He stood and dismissed everyone from his rooms.

Dom heard the quiet knock on the door and frowned. Gwen had just been settled into bed only half an hour before. She had been pleasantly surprised to find the intricate designed bars that had been placed over her windows. Iron was bent to look like vines and leaves climbing the tall windows. Anything that tried to get in would have an extra barrier than just plain glass. She hugged Dom briefly and then Kel who was still sharing a bed with Dom before she closed the door and said not to disturb her until morning unless they heard screams. He did not want to have to wake her if it was anyone that wanted to speak with her privately. He expected Roald, maybe Faleron who had been concerned for the girl, or even the King. He did not expect Ivan with a bag tucked under his arm.

"I thought she said she didn't want you to do this," Dom said as he stepped aside to admit Ivan.

"I came anyway, she's stubborn but I can be too." He winked. "I assume she retired already. If I'm dead in the morning, let the squad know they can have at the pranks in my notebook." With that Ivan disappeared into Gwen's office and then her room. She sat up the moment he walked in but he didn't address her as he stripped off his boots, stockings, belt, and tunic. She didn't say anything to him either as he crawled into the bed and she buried her face into his chest. "Sometimes strength is a weakness we are damned if we are going to show. But that doesn't mean we can't have a weakness in the private of our bedrooms." He whispered as she started to shift into sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Gwen felt eyes on her as she sat down at her vanity the next morning. She had woken at dawn from a nightmare and decided it was best to just get up. Ivan, seemingly too comfortable to even notice she had left, stayed mercifully asleep as she had bathed and dressed. But now he was watching her as she pulled her hair back in a scarf. His eyes stayed on her as she blanked out the features of her face with the pale foundation cream that had been given to her. She heard him shift slightly as she began to paint a blood red coloring in thick squares around her eyes. She touched her lips with the same color then outlined her now dry eyes in heavy black lines. She looked in the mirror then at the full effect. She was the Godssent again but it felt like more of a costume than ever. What had she been thinking back in June when she agreed? She didn't know what she was doing. Now she was to meet diplomats from around the world sent to speak to her and try and gain favor with her. She didn't know what to say to them. None of the anxiety filled thoughts graced her masked features. Instead there was the look of a no nonsense, benevolent being from another world. The wonderful thing about a costume, she thought, is that I can continue to pretend whatever to be whatever I want and only those who know it's a costume know it's fake.

She turned to look at Ivan, seeing his eyes focusing in on the new details of her face while he sat on the edge of the bed. Maybe it would be easier for him if he saw how the image was made. Maybe he would know better ways to help her leave the image behind when she needed to escape. Slowly he gave her a very small smile.

"You look like a different person, even though I watched you put it all together," he confessed. "It's going to be a change for me to get used to seeing you as both when I've only really wanted to see my little maid Gwen."

"Some days I forget that I'm all painted up and I pass my reflection and I scare myself." She informed him. "It's only a mask and it's only a role I play. I'm still the little maid." She thought it over. "Well, I'm both. Your little maid is who I am with friends and people I care about. The Godssent is who I am for my job, my professional life. There are other versions of me that come out when I'm alone, when I'm with enemies, when I'm unpainted in public, when I'm with different people. I've always called them my multiple personalities because they feel so different. But they are just me and I adapt my personality to the situation I'm in. It's just that," she looked in the mirror, "my personalities have taken on their own images now."

"And what was the personality you showed Maggur?" Ivan blushed after he asked. "I didn't mean to ask that. You don't have to answer."

"Well, at first I only showed him anger but after the 'spells'," she grinned and let her face change to that of the eager, complying woman she had pretended to be. "Yes, My Lord. As you wish, My Lord."

"You are a Player at heart." Ivan informed her.

"I am lucky that I played it well enough he didn't question the effects of the spell," she sighed. After a few more quiet moments she stood to pull on her robes. "What are your plans for the day?"

"If you want, I'll come with you. If not, I'll return to my squad and join you for dinner and after." She weighed her options. It was always nice to have Ivan about but …

"I don't think you should be around with me today. You are making quite the target of yourself already. I don't want anyone to have such an easy time finding you if they wanted to get rid of you."

"I'm already a target. Where is safer for me to be than by you? And you would be a bit safer with an extra sword guarding you." Ivan pressed. "It's only natural we have more guards on you now that you've been abducted and held against your will. Maybe no one will connect that I have purely affection based interest in guarding you." Gwen drummed her fingers as Ivan talked. He made sense, damn him.

"Alright, we'll see how it goes today. But you need to be ready shortly." She fastened her robes and let herself out of the bedroom to pause briefly in her study where a fairly large bag of letters was sitting on her desk.

"Mail from around Tortall at least, maybe some from further. People wanting advice from the Godssent," Dom informed her, leaning on her doorframe. "We've been checking for spells or drugs or poisons before we bring them in."

"Has that been an issue?" She found herself mildly curious if there were more people out there that wanted her dead or had it all been Maggur.

"A few, mild poisons mostly." Dom shrugged. "The King, Queen, and all of the royal children get the same treatment for their letters."

"I suppose I shall have to take time to read them all and reply. I'm afraid my writing probably got rusty in Scanra as I wasn't given and quills or paper to work with." She sighed. "About how many come in a day?"

"You get at least three or four a day. I assume you'll get more as the post comes in from around the world. There've been rumors of villages taking all of the letters their people write and condensing them down into one for faster reply." Roald's voice from beyond the doorway startled her. She did not expect him.

"Well it's nice they are thinking of me," she muttered. "Ivan will be out shortly. He'll be on as an extra guard today."

"So he didn't die overnight?" Dom teased her.

"One of these days your insolent tongue will get you thrown off the balcony." She informed him and went to sit at the table. "If I didn't smother Maggur in his sleep, I am certainly not going to smother someone I actually like who only wants to make me feel better."

"Why didn't you smother him? You had many opportunities." Ivan asked coming into the room. She saw the pointed looks Roald, Dom, and Kel all gave to him but his eyes were locked on Gwen's. "You must have considered it."

"I did. And then I considered the outcomes. The only good part of any of the outcomes was Maggur would be dead, if I succeeded. If I didn't succeed, well I know what would have happened. If I did succeed we hit a number of problems." Gwen toyed with the food on her plate.

"Such as?" Dom pressed sitting down by her.

"Such as, I was locked in that room with him. I had no way out unless he let me out. And that's just for starters. Say I did succeed and the mage came in the morning, despite he was being kept there because his sister was being held by Maggur, he decides to turn me in for regicide. Imprisoned or death. The least of my worries really. The real worry is what it looks like to the successor of the bloody throne. Whoever comes to take the throne next finds me, Maggur's supposed willing lover who might or might not be carrying his offspring…" she shuddered. "I really don't think I am." She amended when she saw everyone's eyes widen. "I haven't had any signs of pregnancy but I admit the last time he raped me was under a month ago. Something short of four weeks." She sighed. "That would complicate things terribly. But as I was saying. Say they don't want to see Maggur's lover or child survive. Death. Or maybe they decide to be as much of a sadistic bastard as Maggur had been and just keep things status quo. Or maybe they recognize who I am and decide to use me for their gain, or maybe they let me go. See how only one of those things ends in a nice way?

"Besides all of that. I didn't have supplies to escape until after Maggur was gone. I didn't even have warm clothes until he started letting me out of the room during Midwinter. And then he was watching my every move for quite some time, so I had to pretend like I wasn't memorizing the hallways for escape routes and timing. And certainly don't forget the moment he knew I was missing he'd turn out whatever nightmares be them man or immortal to hunt me down. The odds of making it to the border were slim as it was," she stopped and looked down at her plate still full of food. "Is that enough of a reason for you?"

"Does your mind always work like that?" Roald asked with a frown.

"Like what?" Gwen was generally surprised by the question.

"A thousand possibilities for every decision?" He asked.

"Yes. It's a curse and a gift." She sighed and started in on her food.

Half an hour later saw Gwen on Roald's arm with Dom on her other side. Ivan walked behind them, claiming to be watching her behind in more ways than one. Dom had instantly retorted that no one could see Gwen's behind in those robes while Roald agreed.

"I don't know if I should be flattered the three of you very handsome men tried looking at my butt, or if I should be appalled." Gwen had muttered in reply. At the mention of Gwen calling attention to their looks they all became silent. The comment at least put a genuine smile on her face as they came across their first people. Many people stopped to call greeting to her, welcoming her back. Then Roald steered her into a small conference room of sorts where a fire was already going in the fire place and a table with drinks and treats.

"I sent out notes to the diplomats that wanted to connect with you for their corresponding countries." Roald explained. "I thought you'd be more comfortable in this setting." Gwen nodded and took up a seat close to the fire with Roald while Ivan and Dom got comfortable on stools by the door. She was halfway through a cup of hot cider when the first diplomats started to arrive. She let Roald introduce them all by name and stuck with calling her 'the Godssent'. They, in turn, introduced their royal counterparts, many of whom would be able to listen in through this magical device or another. It did not surprise her that their royal counterparts had wanted to hear exactly what was said. She also noticed all of them had ways of hearing what their royal counterpart wanted to say.

_It's like a phone conference,_ she thought amused. _Except the phone is an actual person._

Gwen started to engage them in conversation, speaking to the diplomat in front of her rather than the royal. She asked general questions about the cultures, the ruling system, the beliefs their people held. No one offered more information than she asked for and they did not want to converse with each other. She started pressing for information about the people, not the royal or noble people, but the commoners. General answers were given the first few times she pushed and then she turned to Roald and repeated the question, her eyes telling him she was tired of hearing the same old thing.

"We are making changes when it comes to our middle and lower classes." Roald began to detail some of the issues that plagued the lower classes and how he, the Crowned Prince, planned to address those issues. Inside, Gwen was beyond curious as to how Roald seemed to have hit on most of the things she had written in her journal to him, which was still sitting in her desk. Her mask remained impassively benign as it had been all day while she listened. Once Roald was done she turned to the first man again and repeated her question.

The second time around was more uncomfortable. The level of discomfort the diplomats felt was amplified each time she asked. She felt their discomfort and tried her best to exude an aura of calm. The best answer came from the Tyran Ambassador.

"We are not as aware of these problems in our kingdom as Prince Roald seems to be. We shall have to do some of our own research. If we find such things are issues, we hope to be able to turn to Tortall to find ways to implement change without upsetting the balance." Gwen felt Roald shift next to her. This was what she had wanted. She didn't want them to come to her to put their commonwealth programs together, she wasn't an expert on every single country and wouldn't be able to not completely upset the balance. She wanted them to work together. To be able to speak amongst each other.

"Tortall would be honored to help if such assistance is required," Roald said after a few moments.

"Please excuse me," the diplomat from Maren started, facing Roald. "Could you tell me how you plan to…" the questions started, picking Roald's brain about the changes he had spoken about. Midday came and went as the discussion went on. Conversation started to flow better between everyone rather than directed at her only as it had been right away in the morning. She was able to sit back and listen after her instigation of the initial conversation. She threw in her thoughts here and there about finding out how the people are faring and what ails them, and she stopped debating that grew too close to arguing but mostly she was just there in the room with them.

Half an hour before dinner time, Roald called a halt to the meeting for the day. The diplomats all bid her, Roald, Ivan, and Dom a good night and filed out while still talking amongst themselves. The moment the last one was out the door Gwen sagged in her chair. The rigid posture she had held all day with the very impassive face were dropped and she smiled at Roald.

"I don't suppose you have an explanation to how you had all of those things already on hand." She gave him a look telling him she expected nothing less than the truth.

"I read that journal of yours after you were taken. I had hoped you had left something behind to work off of." Roald patted her hand. "I hope you continue to collect stories."

"I don't believe it will be an issue now that I'm receiving letters. I'll just have to catalogue every letter I get into some order." Gwen sighed. "I can't believe any of that worked."

"You didn't expect it to?" Roald asked incredulously. "You sounded so expectant of those answers."

"I wanted those answers, yes, and I really wanted it to become a conversation like it did rather than each individual reporting in to me like I was some sort of commander." Gwen pushed her chair back and stood. "But I didn't think it would work."

"Well, you sounded like you knew exactly what you were doing." Dom told her as he took her arm to lead her to dinner. Ivan resumed his place behind her, and Roald on her other side, while they started their walk to dinner.

"Maybe they were all trying harder because they wanted to impress the Godssent. Or maybe you have a god influencing the room." Ivan offered up. "I prefer to think they were really trying because the Godssent they wanted so badly to impress for their country was there in the room."

"If anything, you opened up the lines of communication. Whether they went in playing nice to impress Gwen or they went in with an open mind, they left in genuine conversation. That's something. I can only hope it continues to be so open." Roald said finally. "So what's this relationship between the two of you?"

"What relationship? I'm just the Godssent's humble guard." Ivan said earnestly. "I am lucky the lady lets me even stand this close to her." Roald pushed again but Ivan kept insisting he was nothing more than an extra guard assigned to the Godssent.

When they got into the dining room they were the first ones there. As the door closed Ivan took Gwen's hand and led her to a chair. At Roald's very pointed look Ivan shook his head again.

"She has a very real concern that Maggur or anyone who views her as an enemy will discover that there's a person close to her. Besides Dom, who can be viewed as being paid to be close to her, there really isn't anyone they can use as a real weapon against her. In her best interest, and mine if she is correct, I'd prefer it not be announced out in the hallway that I have any sort of relationship besides guard with Gwen." Ivan pulled out Gwen's chair and helped her to tuck in. Then he claimed the chair next to her.

"Even though you are sleeping with her?" Roald demanded.

"Guarding her through the night." Ivan shot back. "The lady was abducted from her room. No offense Dom because I understand the absurdity of what I'm going to suggest, but if there had been a guard in her room, it wouldn't have been as easy to snatch her. And if someone breaks into the suite and somehow overpowers Dom, she shouldn't be left with locks and hopes that only doors stand between her and abduction, death, or whatever they are planning." Ivan's voice was quiet. "Now I'd like to get off of this topic as I do not wish to put any more bad thoughts in Gwen's mind. She does that well enough without me airing my concerns too."

"No offense taken," Dom assured Ivan as he took Gwen's other side.

Roald looked like he wanted to say something in response when he saw Ivan giving Gwen's hand a squeeze on the table. But anything he was about to say we lost as the door opened and Ivan's hand left hers while the traditional dinner guests joined them.


	18. Chapter 18

April and spring marked many changes to Gwen's new found schedule. First and foremost, Third Company was called out taking Ivan with them. Both she and he knew it was a possibility. Raoul had come himself in the middle of the night to reclaim Ivan and Kel for the call. He and Dom, who had let Raoul into the room, both seemed confused by the fact Gwen and Ivan were fully clothed in the bed. Ivan proceeded to kiss her thoroughly and promised her he would return to her in one piece not caring if Dom or Raoul were still watching. Gwen pulled on a dressing robe and followed them to the door with Dom and saw them out. Just outside the door she heard Raoul's clear voice.

"I'm slightly disappointed you allow her to sleep wearing so many clothes."

"Sir," Ivan's voice came through the door. "I only earned the right to kiss her lips two weeks ago. I'm still treasuring that." Then the voices were gone and Gwen turned to find Dom watching her.

"What?"

"I thought you two were more intimate than that as well," Dom admitted.

"He and I have an understanding. He can sleep in my bed with me, and he is now allowed to kiss me, but it's a very distant, very very future thing for anything like what you and Raoul are suggesting." Gwen put her hands on her hips.

"Are you telling me you are twenty-three and still a virgin?" Dom asked.

"You forget Maggur raped me." Gwen pointed out and saw Dom grimace.

"I'm sorry, I understand why you don't want to be intimate in that way."

"It's not that. Sit down," she steered Dom onto a couch. "Ivan knows this, and I know you should have known this from the beginning but I just never found the right time to say anything." She sighed. "I'm immune to magic. I cannot be healed, I cannot be harmed by a spell, I cannot wear a pregnancy charm." She sighed. "Ivan understands I can't afford to get pregnant at this time."

"So all of that time with Maggur…" Dom drew out the words.

"I was pretending to be compliant because I needed to survive long enough to escape. Do you think any less of me?"

"Absolutely not. In fact, I think more of you. To allow that bastard to… to… and pretend to enjoy it. I'm not sure I've ever met someone so full of courage." Dom shuddered.

"I never said I pretended to enjoy it." Gwen retorted and laid back against the couch next to Dom. She never expected to be so comfortable discussing those months in Hamrkeng but after Maggur had been given a firm reply that she was not being returned and if she went missing again he would have more than Tortall to face, she felt more comfortable. Usually the only people that asked about it were Ivan, Dom, and sometimes Roald though he seemed more reluctant.

"I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep tonight," Dom informed Gwen. "I've gotten so used to sleeping with Kel."

"You're telling me," Gwen laughed. "And it's Sunday. I'll have to find something to do now that Ivan won't be here with me. Maybe I'll have the gardeners send up some pots and some cuttings to plant on the balcony. It would be nice to have some color out there."

They eventually both went back to sleep but both got up at dawn to do their exercises. Gwen didn't have to wonder for long what she would do with her time as Roald found them on the balcony and pushed Kai out in front of him.

"Gwen, I have a favor to ask." Roald confessed as Kai ran to her. She had gotten to spend more time with the child since coming back, and the young princeling had taken a liking to her. She scooped him up and held him on her hip. "Could Kai stay here for the day? Shinko is being put on bed arrest and she needs some quiet. Not that he's a loud child…" Roald sighed.

"Of course, he's always welcome here. I'm afraid I don't have much for him to do." She swayed slightly with Kai.

"I'm not too concerned." Roald smiled. "Thank you, Gwen. I owe you." With that Roald left Kai with Gwen and Dom. Dom left after breakfast to bring Gwen's request for plants, pots, and some dirt up to her room so she could have a potted garden for her balcony. Gwen recited fairy tales to the three year old until Dom came back and then enlisted the boy's help in making her garden. While they worked she taught Kai nursery rhymes and children's songs from her world. Dom left them to go down into the city to do some wandering and shopping.

Eventually Kai got tired and Gwen helped him wash up and put him in her bed for a nap. She took that time to answer letters and read. She made sure she read every letter and replied to every letter personally. While it was time consuming, she felt it was important. Most problems were petty but she still gave her advice. Several times, when the content of the letter was bad enough, she brought the letter to Roald and asked for his advice. In such cases, she would time her letter to arrive just as or just after help had arrived.

When Kai woke up again they went back out onto the balcony and Gwen taught him the names of each of the flowers she had been given. While he was only three, he grasped onto the names quickly, repeating them back. She told him more fairy tales and tried to respond honestly when he asked her why to the choices made by the characters. Roald returned before Dom did and thanked Gwen many times over for taking Kai. Then he took his son and left.

Dom returned an hour later with a small trunk in his hands. When Gwen pressed for what he had purchased, he opened the lid to show her a few toys, some story books, and a couple of small wooden swords. "In case Kai needs to come back again." Dom explained.

It came in handy as Kai returned the next afternoon during Gwen's time she usually spent responding to letters. Dom helped entertain the boy by teaching him to use the wooden swords. Then they took him to dinner with them, making sure to keep the boy engaged throughout the meal. Absolutely no one questioned why Gwen and Dom had Kai with them. Roald claimed Kai back before bedtime and returned him again the next afternoon.

Between Dom and Gwen, Kai was kept entertained and enjoying himself during the times he was in her room. On Sunday Roald brought Kai back again just after breakfast and asked Gwen for a private word. Dom took Kai out to see the flowers on the balcony while Roald took up a seat by Gwen.

"I'm sorry I keep bringing him to you but Shinko needs her rest and the nursery is too close to where she is. His nursemaids are tending to Shinko rather than keeping an eye on him. I tried Yuki and Neal first but Yuki is in much the same situation and Karin spends her days out with Baird learning to control her Gift. And frankly, no one else seems to hold his attention like you do. Would you consider continuing to take him in the afternoons and on Sundays until after Shinko has the baby? Then things can return to normal somewhat." Roald pleaded.

"I'm happy to take Kai. He's a sweetheart and with Ivan and Kel gone it gives Dom and I something to do." Gwen sighed. "By the time he has a sibling I think Dom will have him trained as a competent swordsman." Roald looked around until his eyes landed on the small chest of toys sitting wide open.

"You got toys for him?"

"Dom did," Gwen confirmed. "It gives us something to do that he enjoys. And maybe, just maybe, he'll remember some of the stories and songs I've been teaching him."

"What kind of stories and songs?" Roald pressed.

"Fairy tales and songs from my childhood mostly, or songs I picked up later as I took language classes and sang in school." She blushed. It was more than she shared about her world to anyone else and clearly Kai would not understand the significance of it. "I've been trying to learn some of the fairy tales here, I've been reading them at night but I don't have them memorized yet so it's difficult to put the right performance into it."

"One day, my son will be King of this land, and his teacher will have been the Godssent. I'm not even sure he will ever know how much of an honor it is." Roald put his head in his hands. "Goddess knows every day I hear you speaking to the diplomats from other countries or even just the maid in the hallway, I feel blessed you are here. I wish I knew the Gods' reasoning for setting you down in Tortall rather than anywhere else. Why are we so special?"

"Roald, don't question it too much, please." Gwen tried. Gingerly she touched his shoulder and then his hands when he wouldn't look up at her. "It's not important. What is important is what you are already doing, which is creating a better kingdom for all of your people." She tried. "Please. Don't go all awestruck on me now. I thought we were friends." She knew she was begging as she pulled at his hands. "Please know Kai is always welcome here. Though I will be a bit worried bringing him to dinner each night. You know I'm a target still though it has calmed since I started gaining support from other countries. I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to him in an attack on me."

"I know you aren't fond of it, but I'll have a squad of the Own escort you there and back for the time being. It's added security for my son." Roald drew his hands back and looked up at her. "Why is it, even after you have been kidnapped and forced to do such terrible things, you are more worried about the wellbeing of those who spend their time around you? Dom, Ivan, my son…"

"I have no answer that would be suitable for you." She whispered.

"Try," Roald pressed. "Please."

"I have two faces as many who know me can see. Ivan and I have had this discussion many times. I am the Godssent. I am a benevolent being from another world, untouchable, seemingly emotionless. But the Godssent is nothing more than a side of Gwen, and Gwen leads with her heart with the brain to back it up. It is no different than what Kel is, but I have the gods saying I am which somehow gives me more credit." She sighed.

"You discount yourself," Roald informed her. "You have far more credits to your name already than just being sent by the gods. I hope you will see that." Roald stood then. "Thank you for watching Kai." With that he was gone and Kai stayed with her and Dom for the rest of the day.

_She was running, out of breath, laughing as she burst down dirt path. Trees rushed by her on all sides and she ducked branches that attempted to slow her down. The birds were calling to each other. A chickadee calling its two note song made her turn her head. She felt light, free, happier than she had ever been. The trees cleared on either side of her and she found herself moving from woodland to plains. The high grasses beaten down by the traffic of the footpath she was on. There was a bench ahead. She fell onto it still laughing. She drew her knees up and noted something odd, she wore jeans, a hole in one knee already. She looked down and saw a tight black shirt printed with silver roses. A flash of color made her head turn and she caught a glimpse of the earrings she wore as they moved off of her shoulders: wine red feathers on antiqued bronze chains. Footsteps behind her made her turn. This was a familiar face, Ivan, moving to sit beside her on the bench. His eyes swept over her appearance with an odd look._

_"You wanted to see the real me," she offered when he looked away from her._

_"I want my little maid." Ivan's voice was pleading. "Why can't you just be my little maid and nothing else? If you were just my little maid, I wouldn't have had to die." _

_She was startled by the comment and looked closer. Ivan was too pale, his eyes milky white instead of the beautiful crisp blue. His neck bore a red scar that wrapped all the way around and she knew he had been beheaded._

Gwen woke with a start and sat up in bed. Her sheets were wet with sweat, her pillow damp with a few already shed tears. Her heart plummeted into her stomach. Was her dream some sort of reality? She had seen herself as she was before, just plain Gwen and that Gwen was no more. That image of Gwen was dead. Was it a sign Ivan was dead too? Had she seen the place where things went when they were no more? She had not had a letter from him though he had been gone nearly a month already. Kel had sent a letter back to Dom but it made no mention of Ivan. Was there even a way to contact them at this rate to find out? Even if there was, she didn't want to appear that anxious about him.

She sighed and got out of bed. She wouldn't be able to return to her bed tonight if she wanted to. If she laid her head back down on the pillow, she would be reminded Ivan was not there and her mind would recall that in her dream he was not alive and it was because of her. She changed into a fresh shirt and breeches that were not soaked by her sweat and left her room. She wasn't completely aware of what she was doing until she was at Dom's door, her hand poised to knock. Was she really going to wake Dom over some nightmare? She didn't know how long she stood at his door debating with herself, but she was broken from her own internal battle by the sound of the door opening.

"Gwen? What is it? What's wrong?" Dom's voice was concerned.

"I just had a nightmare. I'm being silly." She turned to walk back to her room but Dom stopped her and pulled her over to the couch to sit.

"Nightmares don't normally bring you to my door in the middle of the night," Dom voice was soft and reasonable. "Why don't you tell me about it." So Gwen did, explaining her thoughts behind why she thought he might actually be dead.

"Or am I just being silly and overthinking this?" She asked finally. "I haven't heard from him all month and it worries me."

"Kel would have mentioned something like that in her letter. My Lord Raoul would also find a way to inform you right away of anything of the sort. He does know you and Ivan are close. Maybe Ivan hasn't written because he's helping you keep up the image that you two are no more than guard and Godssent." Dom tried but it was obvious he knew he wasn't helping all that much.

"How did you know I was outside of your door?" She asked after a few quiet moments.

"With Ivan gone I've been checking on you every night around this time," Dom confessed. "You aren't the only one a bit traumatized by your little adventure."

"Thank you." Gwen did not go back to sleep in her room that night but slept lightly on the couch after some time of sitting in silence with Dom. Dom did not wake her until breakfast arrived. Neither he nor she said anything about her worries though she still felt them and he knew it. She didn't have a hard time feeling void of many emotions though as she dressed up like the Godssent and went about her day. The only bright spot in her day was Kai and his constant pestering for her to sing the "Sunshine" song she had taught him only the week before.

She did not sleep well at night, though she made an attempt in her own room in her own bed. Stubbornness to not bothering Dom more than necessary kept her put in her bed though she felt that same worry something bad had happened to him. She was usually awake when Dom came to check on her, though she pretended to be asleep so he would go back to sleep without worrying. When she did sleep, her anxiety leaked into her dreams and she would have more nightmares. Not all of the bad dreams revolved around Ivan but many of them did. It left her feeling emotionally drained each day which meant being blank as the Godssent was easier if only lacking the plastered on benevolent smile. No one asked her directly when it came to the changes. The quiet inquiries to Dom about her and her health by more than one person did not go unnoticed. When Dom himself started checking on her multiple times a night, she made an effort to put on another layer of masking over her true self. She put a smile on her face and pretended she was okay, if anything just so that she stopped worrying everyone else.

As May fell into June, Gwen still had not heard from Ivan. Dom received another letter from Kel. There was no mention of Ivan. She was not aware that Dom was making inquiries, sending a letter to Raoul and to Emmit from his old squad, just asking for a brief 'he's alright'. He did not say it was because Gwen was upset. He did not want to call attention to it in case the letters were intercepted. At the end of May, almost two months after they had ridden out, an answer came in the form of Third Company riding through the gates themselves.


	19. Chapter 19

It was a Sunday just after noon, after Kai had been brought to Gwen and Dom decided an outing would do them all some good. Dressed like a nursemaid and escorted by a squad from first company, Dom and Gwen found a place under a tree near the Own's barracks. The squad of the Own disappeared into the practice courts while Gwen sat and taught Kai hand clapping games. They had not been out there long when Kai turned and stared past Gwen. Dom followed his line of sight and tapped Gwen. Third Company came fully into view, riding through the gates and filled the grassy area not but two hundred feet from them. Gwen did not scan the crowd for Ivan. She did not know what she would do if he was gone from the number while she was still in charge of Kai's care. Instead she turned back to the princeling and continued their clapping game.

Her ears were tuned in though, as Kel approached and spoke briefly with Dom, stole a kiss, and promised to come and see him after she sorted herself out. She would have kept listening when Raoul approached them but Kai demanded a song, one he hadn't heard before from her. Rather than the normal songs she sang in Common, she turned to the children's songs she knew in other languages, this time Alouette. Kai's eyes went wide and he seemed fascinated with the new language.

"Well, that was pretty," a calm voice next to her made her turned slightly when she finished. Only the fact they were out in broad daylight in the middle of the King's Own kept Gwen from throwing herself at Ivan, who was clearly very much alive and in one piece like he had promised her when he left. He touched a stray strand of her hair, tucking it back behind her ear making her smile.

"It's not so pleasant sounding in Common." Gwen admitted

"Come on pretty boy, tend your mounts, gather your things, go clean up. I doubt she'll appreciate you guarding her when you smell like you belong in the stable," Raoul ordered, clearly amused. Ivan gave her a sheepish grin and turned to do as he was ordered.

It wasn't too much later that Dom and Gwen went back inside, carrying Kai with them. Kai was so fascinated with Alouette that he made her sing it again and again until he was picking up on the words. Even Dom was picking up on the words. She brought Kai into her bedroom after they came back inside and settled him down for a nap. She sat down to do some letters then but she was too full of nervous energy wondering when Ivan would come see her. A knock on the door had her giddy. Dom answered the door and called Gwen out telling her someone was there for her. She did her best to keep her face calm as she stepped out from her office to the sitting room and felt her features fall when she saw Roald, Faleron, and Neal.

"Well nice to see you too," Faleron joked. With Ivan gone he had stepped in to act as a second guard when she had needed it.

"You don't understand," Dom grinned, "Third Company road in while we were outside." It explained more than it didn't to those who knew Gwen personally.

"Sorry to disappoint you," Roald laughed. He looked around and then back up at Gwen with a pointed look.

"He's taking a nap," Gwen put her hands on her hips. "Did you come to reclaim him?"

"Eventually, but I came to see you. It's kind of important." Roald indicated Gwen should take a seat and she did, looking between Roald, Faleron, and a very quiet Neal. Dom gave them the same curious look. "Since you came back from Scanra, we've been putting spies in place in Hamrkeng. It's difficult but we wanted inside information. We were hoping for advanced warning in case he was going to try anything else with you." Roald sat down in the arm chair across from her.

"So you've learned something? Or are you just telling me so I'm aware we now have spies in place?" Gwen felt a prickling at the back of her neck telling her so would only be so lucky if it was the latter.

"Maggur's mage, the one you described, left Hamrkeng two weeks ago after several long meetings with Maggur. We have reason to believe he's being sent to retrieve you." Roald's look was serious, blue eyes trained on Gwen's green ones. She looked away rather than let him see what she was thinking.

Her own nightmares, the ones Ivan guarded her against all the way back to Corus, played over again in her mind. She imagined he'd take her back kicking and screaming, aware she was not able to be controlled anymore. They would do more drastic things. Maybe they would kill those she loved in the process. Dom was always with her, Ivan was back if even for a short time, and now Kai was a constant addition to her life. She didn't want them hurt if it came down to it. She looked back at Roald, aware she was supposed to say something. She was supposed to have a response; she was the Godssent, after all! Words wouldn't form though, so she stood and went out on the balcony rather than listen to anymore. The men watched her go, Roald grimacing at having upset her.

"What does that mean for us?" Dom asked after a few silent moments. "There's not much more we can do to protect her. I mean she even sleeps with a guard in her bedroom when that particular guard is available. She even has those daggers she stole from Maggur attached to her at all times except when she sleeps."

"I am relieved Ivan is back. It puts my mind a bit more at ease she'll have someone guarding her overnight again." Roald sighed. "But I feel like we need to do even more. Faleron and Neal will be joining the permanent guard first. Kel will be used as needed as she is usually about anyway. I know we started plans for converting the suite across the hall for your squad when she first arrived. Now we'll complete the suites on this level. I already spoke with the others. Faleron will take the suite across the hall. It will be ready for him by tomorrow morning. Neal and Yuki will be taking the suite next door. I want two mages in the room next to Gwen's. Eventually, I will have this hallway filled with knights I trust…" the sound of the door opening made Roald stop and four sets of hands went to hilts.

The door swung open and it was Ivan, a saddlebag in one hand and something small and wrapped in cloth in the other. He stepped into the room and closed the door, automatically setting his things down to go through the series of locks that made Gwen feel safe. He turned and frowned when he saw all four men still watching him but Gwen was nowhere in sight.

"Did something happen? She was just fine a little over an hour ago." Ivan didn't try and keep the worry from his own voice.

"She's out on the balcony. Mostly fine." Dom assured him.

"I didn't expect her to be so upset by the news." Roald finally released the hilt of his sword and glanced out the window where he could see Gwen sitting on one of the benches, her head resting on the stone table.

"She's not been sleeping all that much so she's probably not all that receptive to real life nightmares at the moment." Dom informed Roald.

"She's not sleeping at night?" Ivan wanted to know.

"She's been having nightmares, particularly about you being dead and coming back in her dreams to tell her you'd still be alive if, oh how did she put that." Dom glanced out the window. "If she was just your little maid."

"I thought you were keeping an eye on her," Ivan growled. "We had a deal that you would check on her at night."

"I do check on her at night. She pretends to be asleep." Dom shot back. "Besides there wasn't much more I could do than I was already doing. She needed to hear from you that you were alright. I couldn't even get a response back from Raoul that you were in one piece for her. Kel certainly wasn't going to mention you."

"I wasn't sure I should write her. She's been so worried about it becoming public knowledge that we are anything more than just guard and Godssent. Besides, she didn't write me. If she had I certainly would have written back." Ivan sat down heavily in a chair.

"I tried to encourage it. She writes so many letters a day, no one would question an extra letter going out." Dom sighed. "But I think she was too afraid she would be writing to a corpse." Despite there being five men in the room, there was only silence that followed Dom's statement.

"I'll think of something next time we are called out," Ivan admitted after a long few minutes. "So what news sent her out onto the balcony?"

Gwen thought it was Roald coming to talk to her, or even Dom when she heard the door open and quiet footsteps on the stone. The stone tables was comfortably warm on her face though and she really didn't want to talk about the possibility of going back to Maggur, so she didn't look up even as she felt him sit down next to her.

"Can't you even let me be miserable in peace?" Gwen muttered after a few moments.

"It goes against my nature." She looked up then and found Ivan lounging on the bench next to her, his back to the table. He flashed her a smile but it turned to concern as he looked her over. "A little birdy tells me you have not been sleeping." She did not answer other than a quiet curse on Dom's name. "I would attempt to remedy the situation, but I believe there is another man in my spot in your bed."

"He is far more adorable than you are," Gwen kept a straight face.

"This may be true." Ivan admitted with a smile. "I cannot compete with a three year old. So, tell me how we gained Prince Kaito?" Ivan stroked her hair back while he asked.

"He needed a place to go until the Princess gives birth in a month or so. I'm apparently the only one who keeps his attention so well and I believe Roald is fairly happy with the idea that I am teaching him."

"Is he living with us then? If he is I must insist he get his own bed." Ivan smiled when Gwen giggled.

"No, just afternoons, evenings, and all day on Sundays." She sighed and let him pull her against him. "I missed you."

Ivan tightened his hold on her. He did not mention the news that Maggur could potentially be looking for another way to get a hold of her despite the threat of war with other countries besides Tortall. He knew the nightmares Maggur caused her. Instead he assured her that he missed her as well.

"I suppose we should go back inside. I may have just walked out on the conversation before." Gwen muttered into his shoulder.

"They do understand. But maybe we should, just to get you out of the sun."

Roald, Faleron, and Neal were all still in the sitting room talking strategy just in case the mage decided to appear when Ivan and Gwen came back into the room holding hands. It made Faleron and Neal go silent because Gwen and Ivan had never shown a physical side of their relationship to anyone outside of Dom, Kel, Roald, and Raoul though it was becoming common knowledge in the small circle of friends.

"If you are moving into the suites across the hall and next door, you are just going to have to get used to this." Ivan told them giving Gwen's hand a firm squeeze.

"Wait what?" Gwen's eyes snapped to Faleron and Neal. She was pushed into a seat and the plans for her new safety measures were laid out for her.

Later that night, after everyone had left and Kai was safely back in his own rooms, Ivan took Gwen to bed and held her under the covers letting her physically check to make sure he was completely in one piece. Neither of them spoke about the sword that Ivan had unsheathed and set within his reach just on the floor or that both of them did not want to sleep on the side of the bed closest to the window.

"Gwen," Ivan said after she had been done making sure he was in one piece for quite some time. He knew she wasn't asleep yet. "I'm not going to let anyone take you. I love you too much."

"I know. I love you." She whispered into his shoulder. "Can you promise me one thing though?"

"Anything."

"If it comes down to it and the choice is between death and letting me go, let me go. I'd rather you be alive for me to come back to when I manage to escape again." She stopped him as he started to protest. "And I promise you that even if I have to bide my time, I will escape." She felt Ivan sigh. "You are much more valuable to me alive than dead."

"I suppose you do have a point." Ivan sighed. "Alright, I promise. I've been thinking about what happens if you get captured again. We can't scry for you directly and I'm not sure a focus can be made for you, but maybe we can scry for something you are carrying."

"I've thought of that too. But last time, Maggur stripped me of everything. Who's to say he won't do it again?"

"If he does, at least we will have an idea of where you are. Maybe you would want to wear this," Ivan set the small cloth wrapped package on her stomach. She moved to sit up on the bed. She made quick work of the cloth wrapping and opened the small box while Ivan stayed lying down watching her. Inside of the box was a necklace with a silver chain and a small key shaped pendant with a gold rose wrapping around it.

"Oh, Ivan," she whispered awestruck as she examined the metalwork.

"If only you were saying those words in bed for another reason," Ivan joked. She turned to give him her most meaningful 'look' to inform him he may be in trouble for the comment. "I know, I know. I said I could go without and I can. But you have to know I'm still a man."

Gwen just shook her head at him, leaned down to kiss him and then climbed over the top of him, careful of the sword on the floor, so she could put the necklace on her vanity. When she returned she tucked herself back in against him. "Thank you, for everything." With that she settled in to sleep. It took far longer for Ivan to stop questioning every single noise and fall asleep himself.


	20. Chapter 20

Faleron and Neal were already there in the morning eating with Dom and Kel when Gwen stepped out of her bedroom with her golden robes in hand rather than on in the summer heat. She knew Ivan would be out in a bit. He usually did not get out of bed until she had left the room even if he was awake. It was to allow her time to bathe and change without him staring at her without clothing.

"I take it you slept better," Dom gave her a wry smile.

"It's going to take a while until I can say that honestly," Gwen threw her robes over the back of an armchair and sat down in her spot to eat breakfast. She had a meeting with the diplomats from Maren and Tyra scheduled for the morning. She had letters from their people she wanted to discuss with them and they had things they wanted to ask her. It was Faleron who noticed the necklace dangling between her collarbones and called attention to it.

"Who gave you that little trinket?" Faleron pointed at her neck. "Not that diplomat from Galla who keeps eyeing you up right?"

"No, it's from Ivan. He thought it would be something a mage could scry for since they can't scry for me." Gwen blushed and moved her hand up to cover the necklace. It would be hidden under her robes for most of the time and she wanted to keep it somewhat hidden because she did treasure it. Neal reached over and took her hand from the necklace so he could look more clearly at it.

"Numair and Roald will want a good look at it as well," Neal informed her after he finished inspecting it. "They will need to know what it looks like so they know what to scry for."

"I have a drawing of it if it becomes necessary," Ivan said as he came to join them. He stopped to kiss the top of Gwen's head before he sat down by her. "There shouldn't be another one like it to confuse the scryer either. I had it designed specifically for her."

"And you found time to do this when?" Dom demanded.

"The town we were helping in had a good metal smith in it. Wolset may have let it slip to the metal smith that Ivan was having it made for the Godssent. The smith promised he wouldn't make another one like it so she would have something unique." Kel supplied. "He also wouldn't take any coin for it after he found out who it was for."

"I'd like his name then, and the location of where the letter should go to." Gwen insisted, poking Ivan in the side so he knew she was addressing him. He agreed to tell her later when they didn't have meetings to get to. When they finished eating, Ivan helped her to secure her robes in place, and then they walked as a group towards the meeting rooms.

The meetings occupied most of her morning and she heard Dom stop Neal from trying to interrupt multiple times with his opinion while she spoke to the diplomats. She tried really hard not to laugh or give him a look like her teachers used to give her for speaking out of turn. She managed, just barely. The meetings had become long and tedious tasks. She would bring letters that had arrived from that particular country and point out the issues their people were noting. She would then answer questions about what she thought should be done. After many discussions with Roald she had learned that she needed to lay things out in slow steps. She couldn't just announce the end goal. While Roald could see the steps to an end goal she would mention, most of the diplomats would balk at the things she was spouting and call them impossible.

She dreaded all of her meetings with the diplomats because they were becoming a headache, but none more so than the Gallan diplomat's meetings. He always made her feeling like she was only there for his amusement like the women who worked the upstairs rooms of the taverns. She was grateful her robes covered her almost completely and made the parts he worked so hard to stare at indistinguishable. While she could joke with Roald, Dom, and Ivan about staring at her behind, whatever this man was doing made her feel uncomfortable. Luckily she didn't have to meet with him again for another week or so.

After lunch, Kai joined them not quite sure what to do with so many people about for his amusement. Dom retreated with Kel at that time and Gwen expected Neal and Faleron to take a break too, but they settled in while Gwen and Ivan told stories to the Prince. A guard of the Own still joined them for their walk to dinner but this time it was Dom's old squad and they stayed for dinner unlike the men of First Company who often escorted them. They told Gwen and Kai stories of their adventures while they did their walk to and from and then they stayed in her rooms talking and joking with Ivan and Dom until well after Roald came to reclaim Kai and Gwen was out of costume. When Gwen rose to go to bed and bid everyone goodnight they all paused to wish her goodnight but Ivan did not come to join her. She understood either it was he wanted to spend time with his friends or he was protecting the fact he slept with her still, or perhaps it was a bit of both. She was comforted by the knowledge he would join her eventually.

"We should do this every night!" She heard Wolset's voice sail down the hallway to her door and shook her head. Every night would get a bit excessive but in the end, she was safer with them around as well. With that somewhat comforting thought she undressed and crawled into bed to sleep.

True to his threat, Wolset brought his squad back every night for the escort and then stuck around. Somewhere, one of them found wine and liquor to bring into the room though it was never broken out until Kai had left and Gwen had gone to bed. Yet Ivan never smelled like alcohol when he crawled into bed with her. One night she had the nerve to ask why and he replied that he and Dom did not drink because they needed their full abilities to protect her at any moment. Most nights they were fairly quiet. Some nights though, Gwen would pull on a dressing robe and come out of her room with a pillow in hand and beat whoever was making the most noise about the head with her pillow. The first night she had done this, it had been Wolset himself arguing loudly with Riley. He was clearly very drunk and Ivan had tried to stop her when she appeared, promising he would try and quiet them down. Instead she told him to move and hit Wolset so hard with the pillow he fell over. She issued a quiet 'keep it down or I'll knock you down again,' and went back to her room. Usually after such occasions, things would get quiet because Wolset, and anyone else, who made enough noise to make her wake up and come out, usually described the experience as stunning. They didn't know a girl that size or a feather pillow could hit that hard.

At the end of June when the Midsummer festivities came about again, Gwen stayed back in her rooms with Ivan while Dom took Kel to the ball and quietly celebrated that she had spent a year in this world and was still alive. She dressed and did her make up the way she had when she had landed in the hallway that first night and told Ivan about her talk with the gods and stepping through the doorway. She told him about meeting the King's Council and being put into that small room alone. She talked about Roald coming to tell her all about the practice courts and tell her what his friends were doing. She expressed the things she missed about her world, mainly music and dancing. While he understood they were different things in his world, Ivan promised to find a way to sneak her into a ball with him and then proceeded to walk her through the steps of the basic dances out on the balcony. Then, for the first night in many, he came to bed with her and she fell asleep tucked firmly against him.

It was the Sunday morning after Midsummer that Gwen did not wake up until Ivan gave her a gentle shake. She felt miserable. Her head felt heavy and she was freezing cold though she knew it was summer and she should be warm. She was sweating too. Ivan shifted and she felt the loss of his body heat in the bed and started to shiver. "Gwen, my love, this could be a stupid question because how would you even know, but do you know if this is just an illness or do you think it's poison?" Ivan's voice was gentle and he was wrapping a blanket around her. She thought long and hard about the things she had eaten, Ivan had eaten them too. They had stolen off of each other's plates so there wasn't one thing she had that he didn't. She told him as much as he was tucking her in.

"I haven't been sick since I got here." She told him miserably.

"Then you were due. I'll draw you a warm bath to help. How's your stomach? Is that upset?" She nodded, feeling like she had the flu. "Go back to sleep until I have your bath ready."

"What about Kai?" She asked quietly. "I don't want to get him sick."

"I'll take care of it. Just rest." Ivan stroked her hair back and left the room. She fell back asleep and didn't wake until Ivan had the bath ready and was helping her to strip off her sweat soaked shirt and breeches. She didn't think much about this being the first time he had seen her without her clothing or that he was easing her out of her bed to carry her to the bath. Very gently he lowered her into the water that smelled sharply of mint. He carried the stool from her vanity into the privy to keep her company and she suspected to keep an eye on her in case she fell asleep in the bath.

"What did you do to take care of Kai?" Gwen asked when she realized the time for Kai to have been brought had come and gone.

"I went and asked Neal to take him for the day. He and Karin can play together for the day." She nodded until she realized Ivan would have had to tell Neal why Gwen couldn't take Kai.

"Did Neal ask why?" She knew if Neal was aware she was ill, he'd want to see her and she'd have to explain to him why he couldn't simply heal the flu away with a spell.

"I just told him I wanted to have you to myself today and he'd be doing me a favor if he took Kai." Ivan grinned at her. "And I do want you all to myself today. I'm going to take care of you."

"What are you going to tell them tomorrow if I'm still ill?"

"I'll figure that out tomorrow. Until then, you are mine and I'm going to spoil you."

When she was done in the bath, Ivan helped her to stand and wrapped her in drying cloths, and carried her back to bed. He laid in bed with her, gave her a massage, and wrapped her in a blanket. She slept against him for most of the day. Whenever she did wake, he always had something for her. The first time she woke, it was willow bark tea to help bring down her fever. She did her best not to show her disgust at the bitter taste but Ivan noticed and laughed. She didn't drink tea as it was because she thought it was bitter but willow bark had a special bitterness that tasted bad. The next time she woke it was a bit of apple cider. She slept through most of the day and night.

In the morning Ivan realized he had to go out and tell everyone that Gwen was ill and needed another day or two to rest. He dressed and went out to find Roald had joined the group for the morning. Dom, Faleron, Neal, Kel, and Roald all turned to look at him when he came out because it was very out of order for him to come out of the room first. He expected to be questioned about the change but instead Roald patted the chair next to him, and told Ivan to have a seat while they waited.

"So what did you do yesterday? I know you had her back in the bedroom when I stopped by around dinner time last night." Roald teased.

"Well, she slept most of the day." Ivan did not touch the plate in front of the place he sat at. "I don't think she'll be going anywhere today either."

"Why not?" Dom set his utensils aside.

"She's ill." He sighed knowing it was going to cause a bit of an uproar.

"Sure… ill…" Neal teased. "Maybe you just want another day to keep her in bed." A laugh went around the table, making Ivan grimace. They didn't believe him because of the excuse he had used the day before. Worse now they believed he had spent the day tumbling her. There was nothing he could say now to make them believe him so it would be best to just pass along the information and go back and take care of Gwen.

"Alright, believe what you want." Ivan pushed his chair back. "I don't know if she will be better tomorrow. I'd keep Kai away from her for a while. She really doesn't want to get him sick." Ivan stood and went back into the bedroom. He was getting a cup of willow bark tea ready for Gwen to wake her up with when Dom opened the door and came into the room with Roald behind him.

"Willow bark?" Dom asked when he saw the cup in Ivan's hand. He only nodded and went to the bed to wake Gwen.

"I just need you to drink this," Ivan told her when she opened her eyes. "I know," he whispered when she made a face. "But it will help keep your fever down." He helped her to sit up and realized a few moments too late that she was still not wearing anything and pulled the sheet around her though he knew Roald and Dom had probably gotten a good view of her chest at least.

"You are a terrible person," she muttered when he pushed the cup against her lips.

"I know, and I love you." He kissed her forehead and made her take the cup.

"Why didn't you tell Neal she was ill yesterday? He could have fixed her up with a quick spell." Roald asked when Gwen finished the tea.

"It's not that simple," Dom explained. "Gwen can't be fixed by just a simple spell. In fact, Gwen can't be touched by any spell. She is not subject to the Gift at all." Dom knew Ivan had been told first, and he had been told after Third Company was called out, but Roald had never been told. He expected the Prince to repeat the words or to get upset. Instead Roald strode forward and put his blue sparked hand to Gwen's cheek. She turned to look at him curiously.

"Well that explains some questions and complicates things." Roald sighed. "I see you are in good hands though. Keep me updated about her condition and if there if anything I can do to help." Roald left. Dom left shortly after he was assured Gwen was being cared for to his standards as the nephew of the Chief Royal Healer.

Ivan intended to stay put with Gwen until she was feeling better but in the middle of the afternoon Wolset was at the door saying he needed Ivan and Kel because Third Company was being called out. Ivan did not have time to wake Gwen and tell her goodbye and promise her he would return. Instead he asked Dom to make the promise for him as he rushed out the door after his sergeant. Gwen wouldn't know until several long hours after Ivan was gone.

Gwen woke alone in the dark, dressed, and went out to the sitting room to find out where Ivan had gone since he had been there every time she had woken in the past 24 hours. Ivan's voice was not among those she heard in the sitting room as she shuffled down the hall and leaned against the door. He also wasn't there when she looked around the room at Dom talking with Roald, Neal, and Faleron. After several moments of her leaning against the door, Neal noticed her and beckoned.

"Feeling better?" He asked when she trudged over and curled up on an empty armchair.

"Anything after yesterday is an improvement," she admitted. "I'll give anything not to drink that tea again."

"You mean this tea?" Neal asked pushing a mug towards her. "As I'm now in charge of your health, I suggest you drink it or I'll find something worse."

"You're now in charge of my health? I was under the impression Ivan didn't want to hand that job over." She looked between Dom and Roald and again noticed the absence of Ivan.

"Ivan was called out. He promised he'll return in one piece." Dom told her. "The decision to have Sir Meathead put in charge of your care is this one's fault." He pointed to Roald. From the looks she was getting she knew she was expected to have a tart reply for Roald or Neal. Instead she quietly reached for the mug and drank the bitter liquid. Her quiet acceptance of those facts and the acceptance of the tea she had told Ivan he was a bad person for only that morning caused a bit of worry.

"He's not sleeping in my room with me," she said after a few moments. It got her a quiet laugh but not much of one.

"We do have to discuss arrangements to make sure you are safe at night though." Roald informed her. "Dom's going to sleep on a pallet in your room." She almost choked on her tea and set the cup down before she narrowed her gaze on Roald.

"No."

"Yes, he is." Roald crossed his arms. "That's a royal order."

"Good for you. I'm the Godssent, not some loyal subject." She probably would have been more diplomatic if she didn't feel miserable. "I'm sorry but no one is staying in my room with me. I should at least get that space to myself."

"But you let Ivan stay with you," Neal threw up his hands dramatically.

"Because Ivan is different." Dom shook his head. "I told you she wouldn't approve. I'll check on you though, like I did last time." He addressed Gwen who nodded.

"But why is Ivan any different that you?" Neal demanded. In response both Gwen and Dom shot him looks that told him exactly how far out of bounds he had stepped.

"Dom?" Gwen asked after receiving only silence from Neal. "Do you think he'll write this time?"

"He promised he would find some way to make sure you knew he was keeping his promise of being in one piece." Dom assured her. "I think he'll want to check in on you too since we don't have an idea of where that mage has gone." Gwen gave an involuntary shiver at the thought of the mage still being off of the radar. She would feel a lot better knowing he was spotted somewhere, even if it was in Corus. Then she would at least have an idea that he was actually up to something.

"Well I'm going to go back to bed then. I'll leave the door unlocked." She pushed herself up and made it to the door in her hallway when she felt a breeze and realized the door to her balcony was open. She was about to ask who had left it open when hands seized her. Her scream was cut off by a sharp blow to the side of her head. If she had been conscious, she would have seen all four men running out onto the balcony with their blades drawn and two with their Gifts flickering in their open hands. If she had been conscious she may have fought them when she was thrown over the back of a hurrok while someone climbed up behind her. Had she been conscious, she may have had time to worry that she was going right back to where she had escaped from only five months before.


	21. Chapter 21

Gwen woke on a hard stone floor. Her head ached where she had been hit but she at least didn't feel like she had a fever. She opened her eyes just a sliver to look around. She was not in Maggur's bedroom like she had thought she would be. She was in a small ten by ten cell with a small chamber pot in one corner and a pile of straw in another. There was no window. She turned over slightly to look at the door. It was completely solid iron except up towards the top where a small half-moon barred opening let torchlight through from the hallway on the other side.

She sat up to assess the situation. She was likely in Hamrkeng in the castle again. She had no idea how long she had been out, but aside from the ache where she had been hit in the head she felt alright. She still was wearing the shirt, breeches, and leather slippers she had pulled on to go out to her sitting room. Reaching up she realized the necklace Ivan had given her was gone, though not taken. It was sitting on her vanity back in her bedroom. It was not something she had thought to grab and put on to go out to her sitting room while looking for Ivan. She started to berate herself for being stupid for not wearing it all of the time; after all, she knew she wasn't safe in her room. The first time she had been attacked was in the middle of the night. Maybe if she hadn't been fevered she would have realized the door had not been open when she had walked past it the first time and would have been suspicious. Then she stopped, because it wasn't going to do her any good wasting her energy on calling herself names.

Her mind turned to worry, not for herself, but for her friends and Ivan. How would Ivan be told? Would Dom write to him right away or would he wait until Ivan returned? Would he blame himself for not being there? Was the call even real or was it something that was meant to draw Ivan off? Had the mage been observing her? Would he know Ivan was her lover or that he had taken her at an opportune time?

A thousand possibilities for every question and every scenario that had led up to her being taken flashed through her mind. She was looking for answers though she didn't have any. She did not like not knowing how much information her enemies had or if they had just happened in at the right time. It would do her no good to worry now. They had her and she would just have to wait to find her opportunity to escape. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and realized her wrists and ankles were chained. Her eyes followed the chain to the exact center of the room. She would be able to get to all four corners of her cell without a problem but she would not be able to get out into the hall if the door opened ever. With an internal sigh she crawled over to one of the walls that flanked the door and leaned against it to wait for whatever was supposed to happen.

Many hours went by. She knew because the guards changed several times outside of her door. They all spoke in Scanran though she had not learned a lick of the language. That was her mistake. The only break in time was a slit in the door opening up and a small tray being passed through with a hard roll and a cup of water. She dipped the bread in the water to soften it and ate slowly each time, letting her body adjust to the rations. She wondered if Maggur meant to make her go insane with solitary confinement. Without anyone to talk to, mere days could turn into years in the mind of a sane person. She smiled to herself and realized she probably wasn't sane to begin with. To combat paranoid thoughts about time and loneliness, she told herself the stories she had been teaching Kai. She told herself the stories she had been learning from Tortallan culture to start teaching Kai. She told herself the stories of all of the books she could remember reading from both back home and from Tortall.

She made a point to sleep after every small meal that came through the slit in the door if only for a few hours at a time. Then she would do ten laps around her cell dragging the chains. Routine would keep her sane. She gave up on time. The unchanging light gave her no indication of the days and the changing of the guard schedule was lost to her. She couldn't even tell if she was getting three meals a day or two, just that she was getting them and each time it was the same thing. Somewhere in the back of her mind, between the stories, the laps, the meals, and sleeping, she remembered she promised Ivan she would find a way to come home to him if she was ever taken again. She tried not to focus too much on it because she knew if he saw the situation she was in, he would know she did not yet have an opportunity to escape.

After what felt like a very long time with the monotonous food, routine, and ever changing guards, she began to wonder if she would spend the rest of her life imprisoned and alone. Was it really all that bad? Compared to the alternatives of torture of being forced into bed with Maggur? No. But she had no chance to escape or even know what was going on. She would grow old and die down in the dungeon without fulfilling her duty to be the Godssent. She prayed to the Goddess, to Mithros, to Kyprioth, even to the Graveyard Hag. She needed an out. She needed something to change so she could start to figure things out. She was doing no good down in this cell. She received no answer. She knew she wouldn't. She prayed to the earth itself for an answer. She prayed to Father Universe and Mother Flame because they had power in her world too. She prayed for help of any kind. She received no answer.

She started to think back to memories that made her smile. Ivan. Dom. Roald. Kai. That first moment when she pinched herself in the hallway to make sure this was real. Blowing out the candles on her birthday cake and hearing her family singing a very off key version of Happy Birthday. Her dad's cat, Fred, and his ability to stand on his back paws and be tall enough to touch the middle of her back somehow. Planting flowers in the garden with her mom. Hiking with her friends. Singing silly songs in choir and the feeling of mastering a very hard song. Graduating from high school. Dancing in the kitchen while baking. Her brother teaching her how to build a computer. Her sister showing her how to wear make-up. Mastering a move in figure skating. Her dad dancing in the kitchen with her after ballet classes. Sitting on her dad's lap while he gently sprayed his precious orchids he kept in the basement telling her the name of each one.

Iron clanking on iron made her shake free from her thoughts. She turned to look directly at the mage that had been the subject of many changes in her new life as the Godssent. She knew she should probably fear him, but instead she was angry. She hated him for everything bad that had been happening to her in this world. She hated that he thought he could control her like he controlled his immortals. He knelt down in front of her and touched the spot on her head that he had hit when he had taken her from the balcony.

"That's healed over nicely." He stated simply.

"Go shove your fist up your arse." She told him feeling the venom leaking into her voice.

"Now, now, that's not very fitting language for a lady." He told her, shaking his finger in her face. She eyed the finger that was very close to hitting her. In a flash she moved forward and clamped her teeth down on the offending finger with enough force she felt the bone give a little. The mage screamed and tried to shake his hand to free it. She bit harder until she tasted blood. Guard rushed into the room and she was lifted off of the ground and her jaw was forced open. She started to kick out with both feet now that she was free of the ground to use both at the same time as the chains required. She connected squarely with one of the guards' knees causing him to fall to the ground. The guard holding her was being cautious in putting her down. She aimed carefully as she got closer to the floor and kicked the guard she had already dropped in the head. He went down to the ground, out cold. She felt herself being thrown and hit the floor with a thud. She turned in time to see the guard she had kicked being drug out and the mage holding his bloody finger before the door was slammed shut again.

Part of her acknowledged that Peachblossom would probably have appreciated her well timed bite and her unwillingness to let go. Ivan and Dom would have appreciated her use of being lifted off of the ground to her advantage. The mage and the guards would be more cautious next time. They knew she was not broken yet. If anything she was more dangerous. She was like an injured animal, ready to attack anything that came near it. Yet she was more coordinated than that. Injured animals were unpredictable and usually uncoordinated in their attacks. Her mind was still in thinking order. She planned to keep it in thinking order at all costs. She tripled her laps around the cell and mentally went through her exercises she did with Dom and Ivan. Then she went through mental exercises of math, patterns, and logic.

She expected punishment of some kind to follow her little stunt, but the food kept coming at set intervals and the guards kept changing out. She decided she needed to take small victories where she could get them. She waited for the tray to come through the door. Usually a finger or two was always visible. She was quick to snatch the cup and bread and then slam down her hand on the fingers she had in reach. After the third guard ended up with broken fingers, they got smart and kept their fingers back. No punishment came and she had the sneaking suspicion no one was telling Maggur that a small little girl had caused them damage of any kind. So she decided it was time to play on their nerves. Every now and then, she would giggle or start singing creepy little tunes. Sometimes she sang in Latin. Sometimes she spoke with the voice of a child, quoting lines from scary movies involving child. Though she didn't understand Scanran she could feel their anxiety and fear coming through the door. She could hear their nerves in their voices. Sometimes she made it sound like she was conversing with the Gods about them, talking about what happened to those who kept the Godssent from her duties.

Despite being imprisoned and sleeping in a pile of straw and using a chamber pot that magically emptied itself every day. She was having a sick and twisted kind of fun messing with the guards. She was always watchful for new guards too. They always made the mistake of their fingers being in the way when she slammed her hand down. The creepier she got, the more frequently new guards were placed at her door. The newer ones always started out with an arrogance, after all, how hard was it to guard the door of one little girl. And always right before they were replaced she could taste their fear in the air.

The mage returned after some time. This time he tried to maintain his distance but she stood and moved towards him, a devilish smile on her face. "Stay back!" He told her his finger outstretched again. She made sure to eye it. He pulled it back when she faked a lunge for it. She kept moving towards him, circling slightly and forcing him back against the wall she had come from. Realizing he had nowhere to move away to, he raised a yellow glowing hand. "Stay back or I'll, I'll," he gulped.

"You'll what? Try and control me?" She cackled and gave her chains a firm tug. Upon forcing him in her little circle, she had put the excess chain behind his feet. The chain snapped under him causing him to lose his balance. She helped him fall, straddled his lap to kneel down on his hands while simultaneously pushing two fingers against his forehead. "Tell me what Maggur thinks he is doing with me." She kept her voice calm.

"I don't have to put up with this," the mage told her and tried to stand up. The two fingers held him in place as she knew they would. "What sorcery is this?" He demanded. She knew it was no sorcery, just basic fact. Very few people could rise with even the gentlest pressure on their forehead. With his hands pinned, she was doing quite well.

"What does Maggur have planned for me?" She asked again, this time a bit more malice in her voice.

"Guards!" The mage yelled and the door slammed open again. She made sure that the moment she was lifted she was lashing out, using the chain like a whip while she kicked and swung her arms around. She hit one guard in the stomach with her fists clubbed together, another in the groin with her feet. A third guard put up with her kicking him firmly in the shins long enough to deposit her in the pile of hay and pull the mage from her cell.

After that she began to stand at the door and whisper things in Latin like "morieris" _die_, "edam anima vestra" _I will eat your soul_, and her favorite was "ora pro morte" _pray for death_. She chanted them, emphasizing the words differently each time. The guards had no choice but to listen to her quiet chants. One day when she felt the fear and tension in the air she stood on her tip toes to get at close to the opening as possible and in a very calm voice told the guards, "This can all be over with if you just open the door and let me go."

The door did not open. She did not expect it to, at least not yet. She would wear the guards down. They knew how to make it stop and eventually they would run out of guards willing to guard her door. After her tenth or so time of saying those words to a pair of very terrified guards, she thought she was getting closer to freedom. She thought she would break and let her go soon. Maybe not this time, but maybe the next or the time after that. She would walk to Tortall again. She would be free. She went on believing that until one day the door opened again and she stood thinking it would be the mage. Instead she was met by the clean, crisp looking nightmare of King Maggur as he smiled down at her a whip in hand.


	22. Chapter 22

She did not move for what felt like a week after her encounter with Maggur. He had whipped her so raw she was sure her back looked like hamburger. Then when she was weak and close to passing out from pain, he had stripped her of her clothes and had raped her before leaving. Her anger festered with the pain as she laid on the ground. The fact she would not move caused the guards to have to open the door to bring her the food rather than push it through the crack. She stayed still on the floor and the guards got slightly bolder each time, bringing the tray closer and closer until they were getting within easy reach of her. She channeled her anger into a plan to reinstate fear into the guards waiting for a guard to kneel down next to her. She waited until he turned and reached out to pinch the tender skin behind the knee with her now much longer nails. The guard fell to the ground with the pain of her pinching the nerve. His partner came over and unhooked her fingers from her victim. He made the same mistake of turning his back on her and she clamped her nails into his Achilles tendon. He bit back a yell and unhooked her nails again before dragging his partner out while limping.

Feeling a bit empowered by her victory, she forced herself up and resumed her routine without her clothes and with her back still raw from the whip. She returned to trying to scare the guards. She would not be broken. Maggur visited again and again. Each time he had his whip with him. She imagined herself as immune to the whip as she was to the Gift. She imagined herself immune to pain. He did not always rape her. Sometimes it was just the whip. She kept getting back up. She found herself thinking of her promise to Ivan. She would find a way to escape. She knew her way to escape lay with the guards having a healthy fear of her. She couldn't rely on the gods to get her out and she certainly couldn't rely on rescue. Who would know where she was? She wasn't even certain she was in Hamrkeng anymore. Maybe Maggur had a secret stronghold where he kept his prisoners.

Somewhere in her mind a thought formed. Why was she afraid of Maggur? Why did she not attack him like she had done to his mage or to his guards? He was just a man. Why shouldn't she fight back? The more sane part of her reminded her that he had probably ordered his guards not to harm her. He had probably thought it would break her to be left to her own devices for so long. Maybe he was starting to realize those escapes had been her in the past and not some guard. Maybe he was starting to realize she knew what she was doing. Maybe she needed to give him a bit more to think about. The thought grew in her like a hopeful little flame.

The next time Maggur came in, she stood to meet him, calmly staring him down. It seemed to confuse him for a second as he looked her over. He raised the whip to strike at her. She raised her hands and angled them so the whip wrapped around the chains instead of her arm and yanked back. Maggur's grip on the whip was loose enough she pulled it free and gained control of it. She tried not to look surprised that her plan worked. She did not account that it would take a moment to unwind the whip or that she would have to get control of the handle. Maggur did not give her that time as he rushed her, slamming her into the wall. But she was not deterred. She dug her nails into his cheeks as he leaned down to her. He pulled back in surprise and she let her nails drag down his cheeks leaving deep gouges. He roared at her but she didn't flinch as he gripped her neck and lifted her off of the ground. He moved in close, cutting off her normal method of kicking and kneeing when lifted off of the ground. His guards must have warned him. But she was not down for the count. Her hands were hanging down in front of her, at the perfect height to just grip his groin. She dug her nails in as she stared into his clear gray eyes. They dilated as he felt pain but she gave him credit for not dropping her right away to free himself from the pain. She twisted her fingers, digging her nails in deeper. He dropped her then, called for the guards to open the door, and practically crawled out of the cell. She felt satisfaction as she heard him throwing up on the other side of the door.

The voices on the other side of the door were panicked and she wished she could have seen the commotion that was caused. She wished she understood Scanran. She did understand that the guards were threatened, probably if they mentioned that Gwen had managed to injure him or that he was indeed human and was vulnerable just like any other human. It was the same thing he was doing to Gwen; she had just turned the tables. She enjoyed her victory and the guards' new found fear for a very short time which she guessed was a few days.

Then Maggur returned, this time he had her chains removed and several guards come in and hold her down. She saw him wave something in and saw a small portable kiln of kinds with a long metal rod sticking out of it. She was held down, her face to the stone as Maggur withdrew the metal from the kiln and pressed the end of it to her shoulder blade. She clenched her jaw tight to hold back a scream as the metal seared her skin. She wasn't aware anyone could feel that much pain at one time. She wasn't even aware he had removed the branding iron from her skin and then men had let her go until his booted foot collided with her ribs. She curled into a ball to protect herself. Then they left.

She did not allow herself to throw up when her stomach rolled. She would be stronger than Maggur had been. She knew this was revenge. She had marked him, now he marked her. She did her best to control her breathing but it hurt to even breathe after he had kicked her ribs. Maybe he had cracked a few or even just bruised them. She hoped they were just bruised. Pain left her unable to move. She was unaware of how long she laid there, but she felt ill and it seemed to be getting worse as time went on. She could not bring herself to eat as movement hurt so much. She recognized a fever when she felt it, and she knew she probably had an infection from the brand. Without medication and being able to clean the wound, she would likely die.

She found herself questioning death. What would happen to her in this world if she died? Could the Black God take her? Was she subject to his powers because death was a mortal experience and she was still mortal? Would she go back to whatever awaited her in her world dead or alive? She had always questioned the existence of Heaven and Hell in her world. Would that mean she was just doomed to die and wander as a lost soul? Her only regret was she would break her promise to Ivan to return.

The door to her cell opened quietly and she vaguely questioned if the guard had lost his mind, he had just brought her food which she had not eaten. She felt a hand press against her forehead, and felt something press against her lips.

"Drink," the word was in Common. She drank, because she was in no position to fight back anymore. Something was pressed over the burn on her back and she felt a sharp sting and then a cooling sensation run over the area. Then she felt something like a blanket settle around her. "This time," she heard the man's voice in her ear. "This time I actually get to claim I rescued you."

The blanket wrapped around her and then she was rolled and lifted. She looked up at her rescuer with a bit of confusion. This muscular man wrapped in furs and leather armor looked familiar with his long blonde hair, shaggy beard, and blue eyes but she couldn't place him. All she knew was she was being rescued.

"The medicine will make you sleepy. Go ahead and sleep. I have you, I promise." The man told her, she nodded and let her eyes close while her head fell against his shoulder. She did not allow herself to fall asleep right away though. She nearly sighed aloud when she felt the crisp, fresh air hit her face. Then there was a horse and she was moving. She thought they would get stopped at gates somewhere but nothing stopped them. She allowed herself to sleep then.

She was groggy when she woke next and confused. She was given a drink of water and then another vial was pressed to her lips and the same man's voice told her to drink. She did and slipped back into sleep. Each time she woke it was the same: water, the vial of what she assumed was medicine, and then back asleep again. She woke with her head clear for the first time in a small bed in a small room. She was wearing a shirt and breeches and there was something somewhat heavy around her neck. Reaching up she felt the familiar shape of a key and the vine that ran up over the key to a rose. It was her necklace that Ivan had given her. She truly was safe.

"It works better when you wear it." A voice told her calmly. She turned to see the man she hadn't been able to place. Ivan had been the guard that rescued her. His hair and beard grown out and dressed in furs, he could look Scanran. He seemed to be in the process of shaving the beard off sitting in front of a basin of water and a mirror.

"I really wasn't thinking about needing it between my walk to the sitting room and my bedroom." She tried but she knew it was a silly excuse. "I'm sorry."

"You weren't one of the guards I attacked were you?" She asked seriously. She was worried she had hurt him.

"No, but I was warned about you." He didn't keep the laughter from his voice. "I was told to never assume you were harmless. You were quick and you knew how to cause pain. I was there when you attempted the castrate Maggur though."

"I realized that he is only a man." She sighed and attempted to sit up. "What did you give me?"

"After you were branded I managed to get word out that I would need medication for the burn. Duke Baird also sent a strong medication to help fight off infection." Ivan set his razor down and came over by her. "It must have worked because you seem to be feeling better."

"Where are we?" She struggled a few moments longer to push herself up before Ivan helped her and propped a pillow behind her.

"Back at New Giantkiller. I'm thinking it's going to become a bit of a pattern for us." Ivan cupped her face and stroked the loose skin under her eye with his thumb. "Let me finish shaving this itchy thing off and I'll find you something to eat."

"Are you going to tell me why you were stationed as a Scanran guard outside of my cell?" She asked when he went back to the mirror to shave.

"You wouldn't believe how quickly we knew that you were gone. Roald had a mage message out to My Lord the moment you left that balcony. He wanted us to be on the lookout for a lone hurrok flying overhead with two riders. When it was clear we wouldn't catch a lone hurrok, my squad was sent north to the fort here to be briefed for rescue. Since I look the most like a Scanran it was easy to decide on me to go, but they had to feed me potions to make my hair and beard grow out quickly." He grimaced and started to shave the beard off. Between strokes of the razor he continued the story. "It takes a while, even with both spymasters working on it, to get into place in Hamrkeng and then get a job as a guard in the prison and after a month of guarding probably every other cell in the place, I got moved to watching you." She could see him smile in the mirror. "I heard a lot about the Godssent being a vicious and terrifying little thing, though I never got to hear the little phrases you used to scare the guards so much. Many of them prayed to the gods each night in the barracks for forgiveness for keeping you locked away."

"Good." Gwen snapped. "I hope they have a healthy fear of me and their gods."

"I'm very proud of you." Ivan told her. "I'm proud you kept your head and you were wearing the guards down. They were questioning if it would just be easier on all of them to release you."

"How bad does that brand look? He didn't put his initials in me, did he?" She tried to reach back but her shoulder blade was heavily bandaged.

"No. It was something like a half moon shape. You'll always have a scar in that shape but Baird's medicine helped to shrink the damage. He indicated he may have something to help fade it a bit more." Ivan finished shaving and turned to look at her. "I'll go find you something to eat. I think we'll have a day or two more to laze about before the insanity starts. When we crossed the border a few days ago, a message was sent to the capital. We're going to have a real escort back to Corus."

"Yippee," Gwen rolled her eyes while Ivan laughed. He cupped he cheek one more time before he left to go search for food. He returned only minutes later with a bowl of broth and a pitcher of apple juice. He sat down on the bed and settled the tray with the bowl on her lap while he held a cup of the juice for her. "How long was I there?"

"It's the end of October, so about three months. We should be expecting snow here soon." Ivan nodded out the window.

"Any news from the capital regarding Roald and Shinko's baby? It should have been born less than a month after I was taken." She was curious.

"A perfectly healthy daughter, they named her Jadelyn." Ivan informed her. "Sir Nealan is expecting his own second child. Dom and Lady Knight Keladry are officially betrothed. And there are plenty of countries on standby waiting to hear you say that it was King Maggur took you. He denied it when King Jonathon sent him a message saying to return you or war would be officially declared from multiple countries. We had to hold off until it was officially confirmed you were there, and not just from spies."

"Thank you for rescuing me." She told him after she finished her broth. "Will you be sleeping here with me until they come or do you have a room in the barracks somewhere?"

"You, my dear, are looking at my room in the barracks." Ivan informed her. "We are trying to keep this quiet until the official escort arrives. This is actually Sergeant Wolset's room, but he was happy to trade me for a bunk out there if it kept you hidden and he certainly didn't want to claim care for you."

"Oh," she looked around at the small room. "Then I guess we'll be cuddled very close tonight." She patted the small bed that looked like it was barely big enough for Ivan alone.

"We've managed the last few nights, though you weren't aware of it." Ivan teased. "Why don't you rest some more? You should get all the rest in that you can. I'm going to visit the army barber now that I know you are alright and get rid of this shaggy mop on my head." He tugged at his hair and gave her a swift kiss on the forehead before helping her settle back down on the pillows to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

"What are you doing?" Gwen had woken some time before and had quietly been watching Ivan writing at the small desk in the room by candlelight. He seemed frustrated and very unaware that she was awake and watching him. When she spoke she saw him jump slightly and then set down his quill very slowly before he turned to face her.

"I'm writing reports." He told her softly.

"Does writing reports frustrate you that much?" She would have gotten up and go to him but all of her bones felt like they were made of lead and her muscles of jelly. It left in her in odd combination of feeling heavy and limp at the same time.

"I'm writing reports about you and the things I heard and witnessed happen to you. The King has requested a full account of why I finally decided to save you. He wants it prepared by the time he arrives." Ivan turned his chair to face her.

"What did make you decide it was time?" She asked after a moment.

"Gwen, you were dying. The moment I had that medicine in hand I set everything in motion. You will not die when I can do something about it. Especially when I had something to do with it." Ivan stood and paced the small room and she saw that it really had worried him a lot to see her imprisoned and dying.

"Ivan…" she tried to get his attention but she had set him off.

"I hate that I wasn't there with you when that mage kidnapped you. You know I wouldn't have let you so much as left that room without me at your side, especially because you were ill. I could have been there to stop it. I hate that I had to be one of your prison guards to be in a position to do anything worthwhile. I hate myself for knowing what he was doing to you and that I didn't rescue you sooner. I hate that there was nothing I could do to protect you in there. I hate that I had to hear him whip you and that I know he raped you and there was nothing I could do without getting both of us killed. I hate that I had a part in him branding you." Her head snapped around to look at him more closely then and he saw it. "I had to help hold you down." He explained quietly, his head hung down and his eyes focused on the floor rather than on her.

"Ivan," she pleaded. She understood. She really did. He had to do what was necessary to survive and complete his mission and she wanted to tell him such and had opened her mouth to let the words out, but he was off again, pacing the room and refusing to look at her.

"Then it was easy to tell for the guards that you were getting ill. You looked so pale, more so than you had before, and you were sweating though you should have been cold. It was cold in there and you weren't wearing anything. You weren't eating and I didn't know if I'd even be able to get you medicine or if I could even get it to you in time if I could get it. I was so worried that you were going to die before I could do anything to help you and I had helped with the reason you were dead!" Feeling like she was made of lead and jelly or not, she somehow found the strength to push off the covers and start to get out of bed to go to him. He stopped his pacing when he noticed her attempt to get out of the bed and went to her side to lay her back down and tuck the covers around her. "Please, just stay put. I can understand that you are disgusted with me and want me to go away…" she reached up to put her hand over his mouth but he turned away towards the door and she missed. "I'll sleep out in a bunk. Just please, _please_, stay put. You're not strong enough to go all that far and I couldn't bear the thought that you'd rather hurt yourself more just because you don't want to be anywhere near me."

"Ivan, listen to me." She couldn't keep the frustration of having tried to get his attention multiple times from her voice. His lips snapped closed and his blue eyes were full of worry but fully focused on her. "Do you remember when I first came back from Scanra before and I was upset by the things I had done to get out of there at all? You told me you knew I did what I had to do to get home in one piece. You understood the position I was in at the time and that I had to play along to get to the most opportune moment to escape. So now I'm going to tell you the same thing. I understand what he put you through. I understand that you had to listen to terrible things and know exactly what he was doing to me and not do anything about it. I understand that you had to help hold me down because if you didn't he would have questioned your loyalty and you would have been in danger, then neither of us would have made it home. I do _not_ blame _you_ for _anything_, and if you need it even though _I do not blame you_ so there is _no requirement_ for it, I forgive you." She made sure to look right into his eyes during her speech. "Now please, _please_, don't leave me in here alone. I love you and I certainly do not want to spend the night without you now that we are back in the same area again."

Ivan stared at her for several very long minutes. Then very slowly he put his arms around her and pulled her against his shoulder. She nuzzled against him wanting to feel affectionate human contact. In his hold her body was shaking from the effort of trying to get up to go to him. "I still feel like a monster." He said after a few more quiet minutes.

"It doesn't go away that easily, I know. But if I force enough forgiveness down your throat, you'll learn to ignore that feeling, and eventually it will go away." She grinned when she heard him give a shaky laugh. "Now it seems like it might be late enough for you to come to bed with me, yes?" There was no way to keep the eagerness from her voice. She had been worried she would never see him again, and now here he was.

"Just let me finish my report and I'll join you." He helped her to lie back down and went over to his desk to finish writing. She felt the bed shaking under her and knew it was her body trembling still from the brief effort of comforting Ivan. She hoped it would calm down by the time he joined her and resigned herself to sleep. She woke briefly when she felt Ivan settling in with his chest pressed up against her back and his arms around her. She told him that she loved him once more before she fell back asleep.

In the morning she woke to find Ivan gone and was worried he had abandoned her in the night because of the guilt, but he had only left to find them breakfast. She kept him close by most of the day, making sure to assure him constantly she did not hold him responsible for anything other than her rescue. When Wolset was nominated to check on them in the afternoon, Gwen had Ivan help her out of the room to where the squad was gathered. She noted that the officers room was tucked inside of a room made for a squad. There were nine small cots lining the walls and each man had two saddle bags resting at the foot of their bed. The men were sitting in a circle on the floor playing a card game which they were happy to deal Ivan into. He kept Gwen on his lap when he sat down and explained the brief rules of the game. When it became clear she had caught onto learning the game, she was dealt in by herself.

She spent a little over one more day tucked into the barracks. The only time Ivan left her side for more than a minute was to get her food. In the periods of time when she wasn't sleeping, Gwen's knowledge of gambling games played with cards and dice increased dramatically. Her luck, it seemed, increased with every new game she learned. It was in a dice game against Wolset that Dom found her, having just arrived with the parade of people that had come to give her a proper escort home on the morning of her third full day awake.

"Sergeant, don't you know it's probably very improper to gamble against the Godssent?" Dom teased from the doorway.

"In most cases I'd be inclined to agree, but I'm trying to win back my sword." Wolset gave the dice a toss with a bit of determination behind his throw.

"Sergeant Wolset bet Gwen his sword she couldn't beat him because she had never played this game before," Emmit informed Dom as he watched. "I'd call it beginners luck but she's been winning everything. The rest of us," he waved vaguely to the rest of the men around the room all reading or lounging about on their bunks, "have learned better."

"Gwen, if you want a sword I'll get you one that doesn't have his grubby hand prints all over it." Dom promised her when she turned to grin at him. She promptly removed the sword from her little pile of treasures she had won and pushed it back towards Wolset. She just as quickly sorted through everything else and pushed it back into nine neat little piles and told them men to claim their things back.

"Dom, did you find her?" Neal's voice came through the hall behind him. "The King is starting to get worried because she wasn't out there to greet him."

"She's in here. Teaching my former men not to assume she's going to lose if they bet against her. Are you ready for this show of puff and pomp?" He asked Gwen. Her response was to look to Ivan.

"She's still very weak. I don't know what exactly was being planned but she's probably not up for it." Ivan set his book that he had been reading down and met Dom's gaze. Now that Dom was here, he was technically the lead on Gwen's care and safety as the Captain of her guard. If he said to get her up and moving, Ivan would have to do as he was told. Gwen seemed to read his look just as easily as Dom did who looked a little torn at the thought of it himself.

"It's alright. Ivan help me up. Dom's just following orders no doubt." Gwen waited as Ivan set his book down and went back into their room to retrieve a cloak for himself and for her and helped her to put hers on before he lifted her up and set her on her feet. He kept a firm grip around her waist as he helped her to make her way to the door.

Every twenty to thirty feet or so, she had to stop and rest. The infection had taken so much of a toll on her body that her legs shook and gave out in distances that she could have blinked away. Each time she had to stop, Ivan knelt down with her with his arm around her back to hold her up and gave Dom an accusing stare.

"How many people are we talking here?" She wheezed out when she had to sit down a fifth time still inside of the barracks.

"First and Third Company of the Own, His Majesty, His Highness, Alanna and her husband, several groups of Riders, and the whole detail of knights that are now under my command for your guard." Dom informed her. "Kel is one of them." Gwen groaned at the number of people and made herself stand again. By the time she made it outside of the barracks and partway to where they needed to be, Gwen's body had had enough. When Ivan made to help her stand again she shook her head at him.

"My legs are not going to support me." She panted when he reached for her again.

"I'll carry you then. You know the King as well as I, he'll want to make some big deal out of you. Would you rather get it done now or wait an hour?" He put his face directly in front of hers.

"Alright, let's get this over with." She smiled at him and let him lift her up. She threw her arms around his neck in hopes of looking like she was doing something to support herself though she knew it wouldn't matter. She really didn't want to appear that weak but at the same time, maybe it would stir up some anger against Maggur. He needed to be stopped; other tyrants like him needed to be stopped.

As they got closer the drone of voices grew louder and louder telling her everyone was still assembled. It was still morning, they would probably want to get moving within the hour to head back. When they came between two buildings out into the open, Gwen could hear the voices louder than ever and knew they had met the crowd. Slowly the talking hushed and she knew she had been spotted. She quietly asked Ivan to set her down again and help her to stay standing. When he set her down, she could see the King, Roald, Raoul, Alanna, George, and the two captains from the Own watching her with a bit of worry from their mounts. The look of worry was spreading between all of the men as they watched her.

"Do I really look that terrible?" She asked softly.

"You're very pale, more so than you usually are. And you look a bit more like a skeleton if that was ever possible." Dom told her coming to stand at her other side to help support her. Her legs were trembling in the effort of just standing. She gave a nod and started to walk forward. When she stumbled, Ivan and Dom caught her and held her still until she got her footing again. Roald dismounted at the same time Raoul did to meet them part way.

"Gwen," Roald sounded strained.

"I'm just tired Roald. Being imprisoned took a lot out of me." She gave Ivan an encouraging smile when he looked down at her. "I'm a lot better than I was when Ivan pulled me out of there."

"Should you even be up and moving yet like this?" Raoul asked. "You look like you could use a few more days in bed."

"I probably could use a few more days to lounge about, but I don't think that's the plan. Not that I've been told the plan…" she looked to Dom.

"We have a horse for you." Roald informed her. "Picked especially for someone who has very little riding experience. Picked especially to match up to the Godssent."

"You're going to make me wear those horrid robes and ride back to Corus at the head of this thing aren't you?" She felt Ivan stiffen when Roald only gave her a little smile.

"That was the idea." Roald told her when she waited for confirmation of her suspicion.

"You're asking the impossible," Ivan snapped. "She's not even going to be able to mount a horse."

"Gwen, if we tie you to the saddle under your robes, do you think you can manage?" Roald asked cautiously. In response she just rolled her eyes.

"I'll need to paint myself up. Did you bring stuff for that?" Gwen knew she was going to have to ride on the horse because this had become a progress of sorts to show her off. She would pass through towns and villages she had written to. It would be best if she was visible.

"Dom packed up everything you need. We'd like to leave within the next hour or two." Roald handed a bag to Dom who stared at it for a moment before he jerked his head back towards the barracks.

"We'll get her ready and you packed up," he told Ivan. Ivan didn't seem to be much in the mood anymore to ask Gwen before he did things to help her as he scooped her up and followed Dom back towards the barracks.

After putting her pale foundation on in a thick layer, she found her hands were shaking too much to paint her eyes or her lips. Ivan took control there. He had watched her paint her face up so many times, he knew exactly what she wanted and he had very steady hands.

"I wish you didn't have to do this," Ivan told her. "You're really in no condition to be the awe inspiring, nothing-can-harm-you Godssent." But he knew, just as well as she did, that the argument would be lost. Once the scarf she wore around her head was secured, Ivan finished packing up his things. She left off her robes, knowing she would have to be tied to the saddle and the robes would have to go on after. Dom watched the two of them through it all and then took hold of Gwen's robes and Ivan's things while Ivan carried Gwen back out to where the horses were waiting.

Gwen's horse was a very graceful looking gelding with a glossy fully white coat. Ivan sat her down on a barrel outside of one of the buildings while he loaded up Thunder and Lightning with his bags and handed over his report to Raoul. Then he approached the problem of getting Gwen in the saddle. Pushing her up into the saddle posed a problem because she wasn't very steady on her own which she confirmed when Neal suggested it. Getting the horse to kneel down for her raised the problem of her keeping her balance when it stood again. Then Raoul came over, mounted up on Drum and reached down to Gwen. She grimaced when he pulled her up by her arms, tearing fresh formed skin on her shoulder blade, but did her best to smile when she made it into the saddle.

Tied down, robed up, and positioned behind the King, Roald, Raoul, Alanna, George, and the captains, and flanked by Dom and Ivan at the head of the procession, Gwen was ready to move out. Behind her sat Roald's friends, all enlisted to her guard detail. Behind that, were two full companies of the Own with several rider groups. In front of her, Raoul was reading the report that Ivan had given him. He didn't ask questions to clarify anything though he did look back at them multiple times before he finished reading.

"Ivan indicates in his report you terrorized the guards." Raoul said after he rolled up the report and handed it over to George to read.

"What else was I going to do for fun?" She heard multiple choked back laughs at her attempt to joke about the situation from both in front of her and behind her. "It's a pity it didn't work to my satisfaction. I was hoping to scare them into releasing me in order to make their lives a little less scary. By the way," she turned to Ivan, "you said you didn't ever hear the things I had said to the guards. How did I miss you?"

"I'm just lucky I guess." Ivan shrugged. "Like I said, I wish I could have heard you."

"I was usually watchful for new guards." She cocked her head to the side as she looked him over.

"I was somewhat new to your cell the day you did that little thing to Maggur." He informed her. "That's usually enough to terrify any man."

"What _did_ she do to King Maggot?" Alanna asked finally for the sake of everyone else listening.

"You'll have to read it, I can't say it out loud without feeling more than a bit uncomfortable myself," Ivan gave a little shudder. Gwen felt her cheeks go red and stared at the decorative pattern on her saddle rather than look see what others would say about it. She didn't want to make Ivan or any of her male friends uncomfortable. She worried that Ivan would think of that if they ever reached a point where they could go further with their relationship than just kissing and sharing a bed fully clothed each night.

"I'm curious how one got in a position to do that kind of damage," Alanna asked after reading that part of the report herself when George pointed it out to her. "It doesn't say what happened before that in the report, only that it happened and was the cause for some other issues."

"I stood up to him, Lioness," she stated simply. "I—well, I'd rather not discuss it." She fell silent. Though she had been terribly proud of herself at the moment when Maggur was outside of her cell vomiting from pain, she felt ashamed of making people uncomfortable even more so than she already did. She wondered with this traveling parade if she would even be able to share a bed with Ivan again until they reached the palace; it seemed unlikely. "How long of a ride will it be to the palace with so many people?" She asked. What she really wanted to ask was how long until she could pick up a semblance of a normal life again. Then again, what was normal for her anymore?

"It will be a couple of weeks at least. I'm sure there are some villages that will prefer we stop for a bit." The King called back to her.

"Just think," Raoul told her happily, "it could be worse. It could be two full mortal years of it."


	24. Chapter 24

By the end of the first day of her ride back to Corus, Gwen was sure of one thing: she did not like being tied to the saddle. Her tired muscles cramped and she was unable to shift as needed to be more comfortable. Riding in that position all day when she was not used to riding was terribly uncomfortable. Her back ached, her legs were stiff, her butt hurt in ways she didn't know it could. She was not able to get up and down off of the horse when they stopped for short breaks. Most of the time, by the time she was able to get untied and down, they would have to start the process of getting her up and tying her again. She whispered praises to her horse for putting up with her and the ties and promised she would be a lot more fun when she felt better. She was tired too. She had gone from having to take multiple naps the day before to not being able to even consider closing her eyes for more than a blink.

When they did finally stop to camp for the night, Gwen watched as a rather expensive and large looking tent was erected for her almost at the center of camp. Her tent would be next to Roald's and the King's though she rather would have slept in Ivan's tent with him. She saw him setting his tent up by his squad at the edge of camp, the furthest away he could actually be from her with her in the center. She hid any wishful looks behind her impassive Godssent mask and waited until her tent was done being set up.

She did not wait for Ivan to return, or for anyone else to finish getting themselves set up, to help her the forty or so feet from the fire to her tent. After riding all day, her stiff and tired muscles threatened to give out on her but she didn't care. She was supposed to be able to do this for herself. Just inside of the tent her knees gave way and she let them. There was no one inside to see her crawl the rest of the way to the small pallet that was set up in the tent. On the pallet she took off the robes she had worn all day and tossed them to the floor in an undignified heap before pulling the covers over herself and blocking out the noise from camp to shut off her brain from feeling weak, sore, tired, used, and lonely.

"Where did she go?" King Jonathon asked coming over to the fire where he had had Gwen left by herself only a quarter of an hour before. Now she wasn't there and those around the fire, her would-be guards all just shrugged. They had been setting up camp. His son was the brave one, stepping into her tent to check for her and came out with a sad look on his face.

"We may have pushed her too hard today." Roald told his father and anyone listening. "I don't think we should have pushed this on her."

"She could have turned this small progress down at New Giantkiller." Jonathon looked towards the tent Gwen was in. That girl was a pain in his arse all the way around. No one had let him forget that she was doing a fine job and had been a catalyst for changes he had been trying to make since he had first become King. Sometimes, when he heard Roald speaking about what she had said to this diplomat or to that conservative who stopped her in the hallway, he admitted to himself that she was simply allowed to say those things because she was the Godssent and she really didn't have to answer to anyone. At times when he saw her out and about talking or when they were in the same room, he felt that she was arrogant. Then he heard his grandson, Kai, telling Thayet about wanting to go back and see the fun girl. Kai had taken it the hardest that Gwen was gone.

"You know she didn't have a choice," Alanna said coming up behind him. "You put her in an impossible situation. Either she parade herself tied onto a horse so the people could see her, or she could throw a tantrum and leave 250 odd people left twiddling their thumbs because they had ridden to come and get her while she was still recovering. Which is more fitting of the Godssent? That poor woman has been through enough without another King abusing her. Read the report Jon." Alanna pushed the scroll into his hands and then went into Gwen's tent. Alanna had been told there was nothing she could do the magically heal the girl so Jonathon wondered briefly what she would even do to help the girl, then he went into his tent with the report.

Half an hour later Jonathon stepped out of his tent, avoided looking at the fire where more people had gathered and had turned to look at him, and went over to where Gwen's tent was. He hesitated before pushing open the flap. The girl was strong; he had to admit that if only to himself. She had escaped Maggur once on her own devices. Though he had given her nightmares the first time, she stood up to him a second time in his grasp. Somewhere inside he knew she was human, no older than his own daughter Kalasin. Somewhere inside he knew she wouldn't have turned him down to ride visibly through Tortall to not only prove she was alive to the people, but to prove that she was available to them. He knew he had pushed her, he just hoped it wasn't to her breaking point. The world really did need the Godssent, if only to tell those who couldn't see the need for change to mind her because she was sent by the gods.

Inside of the tent Jonathon was surprised to see Gwen still asleep on her pallet, turned onto her stomach with her shirt off. Even in the scant light, he could see her back was riddled with scars from being whipped. Alanna was kneeling on the ground next to the pallet, slowly pulling away the bandages that were over one of her shoulders. Briefly he recalled the branding from the report; retaliation for her pointing out that a King is only a man and men have vulnerable spots. He didn't realized he was holding his breath until he released it in a puff when Alanna pulled the last of the bandage away. Amongst the scars that stretched up over her shoulder, there was an angry red half-moon about the size of his palm indented into her skin over the bone on her shoulder blade. The skin itself appeared to have cracked in some places which is where Alanna began to rub some sort of balm over the scar.

"What are you doing for her?" Jonathon asked, coming to kneel down by Alanna.

"It's just some burn cream, no magic, just something to soothe the skin and help it to heal naturally." Alanna's voice was soft. "It's interesting seeing her so vulnerable when I'm so used to seeing her as something akin to a god walking amongst us mortals."

"She portrays the image well." Jonathon supplied. "In your opinion," he started but Alanna cut him off.

"She needs more time to rest and get stronger," Alanna shook her head. "It would be a blessing to give her a month or two to stop looking like she's dying. But that's unrealistic. A day or two should be enough to give her enough strength to get back to Corus in one piece."

"You make me sound like a tyrant," Jonathon sighed. "She needs at least a month, and the most we can afford to give her is two days." He stared down at the sleeping girl. She hadn't even removed the paint from her face or the scarf, and even with them talking right next to her and Alanna rubbing the balm into her back she had not woken up. His son was right; they had pushed her too hard.

"Give her two days, Jon. I'll talk with her about the time constraints." Alanna waited for Jonathon to nod and start to leave before she covered the girl's bare back with the blanket and undid the scarf from the girl's hair. At the entrance of the tent, Jon turned to look back at them. It was odd seeing Alanna brush her fingers through Gwen's dark hair like a mother. It made him wonder about Gwen's parents and if she missed them. It made him wonder about everything she left behind for his world. It made him worried that eventually she would have enough and go home, and like it or not, his world needed her. As he stepped outside of the tent and quietly set about the order they were to stay camped for a couple of days, he realized that Maggur had not broken the girl. He had kidnapped her twice with monsters from her nightmares, imprisoned her, raped her, whipped her, and had branded her. She had almost died. And yet, she had still dressed up as Godssent to be tied to a horse so she could show the people she was alive and well. He certainly didn't see that satisfied smiles going around the fire closest to Gwen's tent when the news was passed to them they would be staying put for a few days.

_A sensation that someone was expecting something of her at that exact moment made Gwen wake from her exhausted state. She expected to wake in her tent that she was convinced she had only fallen asleep a few moments ago in. However, her cot was sitting in a most beautiful cave she had ever seen. The walls sparkled with bits of mica, the stalactites and stalagmites made beautiful natural pillars. And in the corner was a pool of water, no more than twenty feet wide on all sides and turquoise blue all the way to the bottom. Somewhere from the water came the source of light that made the chamber visible and the mica sparkle, but she didn't question it, only appreciated the beauty. On the other side of the pool, thick tree roots sank down along the rock, reaching into the far side of the pool._

_Curious, she shifted out of her covers and briefly realized she was not clothed, as she stood and tried to make her way to the pool. Her legs were still sore, her muscles still weak. She stumbled and stopped twice before she made it to the edge of the pool to look down at the water. She wished she knew where she was so she could put a name to such a beautiful cave. She wished she knew why her cot was set up in a cave rather in the tent she had gone to bed in. She wished to know where her guards were, especially Ivan and Dom._

_The answers came to her in images in her mind. This was not of Tortall's world. This was not even of her world. This cave was a world in itself. These waters were the Waters of Life which fed the Tree of Life above it. She sunk to her knees and bowed her head in respect to the Water and Tree. For some reason she knew that while she was not of this world either, they had power over her. She stayed bowed in submission for quite some time before a new image entered her mind._

_She rose, and stepped forward until she was in the water. She walked forward until the bottom dropped out from under her, but she did not fall in with a hard splash. Rather, her body felt supported but the water that was neither hot nor cold. It was so neutral that she began to wonder if she was actually in water. But she was floating and air did not support one like so. Then her head sank beneath the surface and the image in her mind told her to open her eyes, open her mouth, open her lung to the water. Every instinct in her body told her to shut the water out of her eyes, mouth, and lungs. It was hard to overcome those natural and strong instincts but eventually, as her feet hit the bottom of the pool, she opened her eyes first. Seeing that she was surrounded in light, she gasped and water flooded her mouth and lungs. She expected then, to feel the pain of drowning. She expected the sharp pain in the lungs that marked water going into her lungs. Instead she felt power filling her. It felt like ice filling her very being, cell by cell, and then a steady warmth lit her from the inside. She refused to dwell on the thought that told her she had been under the water long enough and had breathed in enough water to drown her. Someone else was holding her down in the water and she was content to watch the bubbles rise around her, sparkling in the strange unending light._

Sometime later, Gwen realized she was awake in her tent, though she couldn't remember waking or the transition between the other world and here. She wondered if it was a dream but her body still felt so empowered. It was light in her tent, marking it as daytime though she didn't hear anything moving about outside. She expected it to be fairly early then, probably close to dawn. Her mind went back to the pool as she pushed off her blankets and stood, feeling steady and strong enough to do so. Some part of her mind questioned why she would think she couldn't have done that before, without remembering she had crawled from the door of the tent to her bed only the night before.

It took her some time to find clothing. Her clothes from the night before, with the exception of her robes, were gone and her mind did not push her to look in the chest at the base of her cot. Rather she was looking for saddlebags which she had had the last time she had traveled home from the border. She felt like an idiot when she finally did open the trunk and pulled on a fresh pair of breeches, a shirt, and a cloak before opening the flap of her tent.

Outside the camp was full of activity and noise she had not been able to detect from inside of her tent. The sun was fairly high in the sky marking it as more like midday rather than morning, and as she watched it a bit, she realized it was already descending into the west. Vaguely she wondered if they had only made camp the day before or if she had slept through a whole extra day. A presence next to her made her turn and look directly into the deep blue eyes of Prince Roald and he gave her a shy smile.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her softly, the concern flickering in his eyes.

"I'd like to take a walk before I answer that," she told him honestly. She wasn't quite sure how she felt. She felt amazing and wonderful. She felt so alive and like electricity was in her very blood. She felt like she could do practically anything at all. And yet, her logical mind told her that she had only been able to walk thirty or so feet before her weak muscles got too tired only the night before. A walk would prove one or the other wrong. She wanted her mind and her body to be on the same page before she answered.

"Of course, might I accompany you or would you prefer a different guard?" Roald kept that same concerned look in his eyes and she wondered briefly if she looked as beaten still.

"I would appreciate your company," she informed him. She knew she could have asked for Ivan or Dom and they would have been there in a heartbeat to walk with her. But she could feel some sort of guilt rolling off of Roald while he stood beside her. "There's no need to feel guilty for what happened to me." She tried as she took his arm. His lips stayed closed though as they began walking towards the edge of the camp. "Really, the only person at blame here is Maggur," Gwen pressed as they reached the edge and began to circle the outside of the camp.

"It's not that Gwen. I mean, I do feel guilty I couldn't have done more to protect you, but it's not that. I feel guilty that we pushed you so hard. You've been asleep for almost an entire day. Not even Ivan could get you to wake." Roald's arm stiffened under her hand and she made him stop walking.

"Roald, do not worry about it. I'm alright now. I wouldn't have asked me if I was last night. Last night I would not have been in the mood to give nice answers to anything. But I swear I'm alright." She knew already that somehow her strength had been restored with the dream or whatever had taken place with the Waters of Life. They had walked probably close to five hundred feet and she didn't even feel a breath of strain or weakness.

"But Gwen, you had to be tied to your saddle yesterday and you couldn't even walk all that far. Dom even told me that you had to have Ivan do your face paint yesterday morning because you couldn't." Roald pressed, dropped her arm to face her.

"Roald, I am alright now. I don't know exactly what happened while I slept, but I feel perfectly fine. In fact, I feel more than fine." To prove her point she stepped back and did a cartwheel. "Not that I'm going to but I feel like I could start now and run to the edges of the earth without so much as feeling winded." She almost laughed when she saw the stunned look on his face.

"Gwen, one doesn't simply wake up from feeling so terrible and weak to doing cartwheels." Roald informed her.

"I think I jumped worlds again overnight. Or, well, I don't know. That seems the most logical but I also am not sure I ever left. I was just there, and then suddenly I was back here in my tent and I have no idea how that happened." She could feel eyes on her, more than just Roald's but only Roald was close enough to hear what she was saying.

"You jumped worlds last night, meaning you went home?" Roald sounded very heartbroken and Gwen stepped forward to take his hands, feeling like the older and wiser Godssent she portrayed herself to be, that she was expected to be.

"Roald, there are as many worlds as there are stars. I was summoned somewhere where my injuries could be addressed though I do not know what brought me there or what brought me back. You should just be happy I have been cared for and returned. My work here has only started." She let go of his hands as he dropped to his knees in front of her. At first she was worried he was injured or ill but then he bowed his head and she saw he was really only giving her a very clear sign of respect. "Roald, quit being silly and stand up."

"You don't even realize how divine you just looked or sounded." Roald breathed out still sounding awed. He looked up at her, his blue eyes holding more respect than she really felt like she deserved, after all he was doing the legwork for all of her ideas.

"Well then, as the Godssent, I order you to rise." She tried to sound haughty and only succeeded in making herself laugh and Roald smile slightly. She reached down and offered a hand to him. "Come on Roald. I'm getting tired of standing here like this." After a moment or two of studying her further, Roald reached up and took her hand to let her help him to his feet again. "Well then, are we heading out tomorrow? I'd really like to get this show on the road."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hi everyone. I really just wanted to take a moment to thank those who favorited, followed, and commented. Some days it helps me remember I should stick with this story because it has places to go. Not that I know where all of those places are just yet but I'm hoping to get there... someday. I haven't done a disclaimer since the beginning but in case you all forgot, it almost all belongs to Tamora Pierce. Ivan and Gwen are figments of my imagination and I claim ownership to the two of them alone.**

If anyone was about to question Gwen about the strange new bout of energy and being healed, they had to keep their thoughts to themselves. Gwen left absolutely no room to question what had happened to her as she bounced back into the camp, filled with bubbling energy she couldn't get rid of. Though she didn't like coffee back home, her mind rationalized it was as if she had taken ten shots of espresso with a whole bottle of the sugary flavored syrup that cafes used. Back inside of the camp with Roald, Gwen walked over to the fire where Dom was speaking with the knights under his command. Her guard, she had a full guard now and the thought was strange to her. She hardly knew what to do with one or two guards let alone eight knights, a former sergeant of the Own, and a lover in the Own tagging along wherever she went. Her thoughts went a million miles a minute as she looked them over and realized that Dom and Kel were betrothed. Eventually they would marry and it would be hardly suitable for him to be a live in guard. Did she really need one with the whole hall filled full of people? She wasn't certain she did. With those thoughts fresh on her mind, she picked her first victim of her new found energy, Dom.

Dom looked up at her when everyone else did. She did not let her eyes dart around the faces but kept her focus completely on Dom as she stopped and beckoned to him. His eyes held the same look of concern that Roald's had not all that long ago. When Faleron, Neal, and Ivan all rose to follow as the longer standing members of her detail she shook her head. "Him alone." Were the only words she allowed and turned to walk away knowing that Dom was following faithfully. At the edge of camp she asked him to spar against her while they spoke. To Dom, she told everything while they went through the kicks, punches, rolls, and blocks that had been so much a part of her routine when she was healthy and able and part of the exercises she mentally reviewed while in her cell. She told him about waking in the cave, the pool of water, the trees, the odd light in the bubbles that she now felt had somehow become part of her being. When she was done speaking about the Waters of Life and the Tree of Life, she spoke to him very directly about his opinion on her live in guard situation after he was married.

"It's still being discussed. With the attacks coming straight to you, it's a bit difficult to say you don't need a guard in your rooms with you. But I don't think you'd get on as well with any of the others, nor do I think any of them would downgrade to a servant's quarters in your suite to give their time to you." Gwen smiled at Dom's comment. To him it had been an upgrade. More privacy, more space, and more freedom than the small room he had been given in the Own's barracks. Any of the knights would be downgrading from a suite, much like her own, to a very small fraction of that. "I did consider Ivan."

"He's with the Own. He'll have to leave at some points when they are called out and for long periods of time, and then what?" She asked. Dom paused for a moment and she felt like she had got him rethinking his position. Not that she didn't want Ivan to be her only live in guard, but she didn't want to put him in the position where he would have to decide which meant more to him. Then Dom spoke.

"What if he wasn't with the Own? What if he had been inquiring about a permanent position guarding you?" Dom asked with a bit of caution. The thought made Gwen stop mid punch and stare at her friend, her Captain of her guard, her adoptive brother of sorts.

"Did Ivan approach you about that?" She didn't like how small her voice sounded as she asked. Had she already put him in the position to question where she stood on his priorities? She couldn't say she was upset she seemed to be ranking higher than to Own to him. A small part of her was nothing more than thrilled and honored, but at the same time she would hate to take him away from it. She'd rather come in second so he could be happy.

"He made mention of it." Dom sighed. "I would have asked him to consider it anyway. He understands you like I do and probably more so. You aren't necessarily as honest with everyone else as you are with us." When she attempted to argue Dom cut her off, "for example, with what happened last night, will you tell Ivan the whole of it? I thought so, what did you tell Roald about what happened?" She opened her mouth to tell him and blushed as she shut her lips again. She had withheld all of the details from Roald except that she had jumped worlds. She would have said to not worry about it to anyone else. She wondered briefly what set Dom and Ivan apart so completely before she had more pressing thoughts.

"I don't want him to leave the Own though. He just got in." Her voice was childish and quiet and she couldn't help but glance back to where she could see every one of the knights that had been around the fire, the Prince, and Ivan all watching from where they had moved near enough that they could see but not that they could hear.

"He said he wanted to talk to you first. I suggest you let him talk, and just see what he has to say before you try and send him out with the next call. I will not turn him away from a permanent spot on your guard. For one, he rounds us out to an even ten. You know how I like to have a full squad. Secondly, well, I just like seeing you smile the way you do when you see him." He laughed as he saw her blush.

"You don't respect me." She informed him after his laughter died away. When he started to laugh again she gave him a playful shove which caught him off guard and he lost his balance. As he fell, he pulled Gwen's legs out from under her causing her to fall on her butt too. Rather than push herself right back up, Gwen flopped back against the ground as she laughed. Of course she knew why Dom and Ivan were apart from the others in her mind. They no longer held her with any form of awe. They didn't coddle her or fear touching her. Ivan would tickle her until she squealed and begged him to stop, and Dom had no problems dumping her on her butt if he was already going down.

Sometime during her laughing on the ground, she brought her hand up to cover her eyes, meaning to block out the bright sun. When her eyes closed she saw the light spots that always appeared in her vision when she looked at something too bright. For a few moments she felt like she was underwater in the Waters of Life again, watching the bubbles glint golden in the light as they rose around her. It had an instantly calming effect. She would have stayed there staring at them but she felt something tugging on her arm and gave it over. When she opened her eyes she saw Dom kneeling at her side.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly. "Did we overdo it?"

"I'm alright." She pushed herself up on her elbows. "Are you? Normally I can't knock you down for anything. You're as solid as a tree."

"You may have caught me off guard. It will not happen again or I will throw you in the nearest river I can find. I have my pride to maintain, you know." He threatened her before standing and helping her to her feet. "Now let's go assure the others and lover boy I didn't break you." He took arm and led her and the others back over to the fire where they could sit and talk. Gwen sat very cautiously next to Ivan wanting to both assure him she was alright and to have him assure her that she was alright. But touching Ivan would be out of the question. She made sure there was space between her body and his. Now that she was seated at the fire, she also noticed so many people running around. Even a few brief and quiet words would be heard by someone at such a central location.

After a brief period of time, talk turned to filling Gwen in on her new detail and schedules and ways to incorporate Ivan into it without taking away from his duties with the Own. People slowly drifted over to join them at the fire, mainly the King, Alanna, George, and Raoul. They offered up ideas and suggestions but Gwen, herself, mostly kept quiet. This was getting to be the complicated level of safety she didn't want. The reason she had turned Dom's whole squad away in favor of one guard. Ten guards was an overreaction as far as she was concerned. It wasn't that she didn't like Kel, Neal, Seaver, Esmond, Merric, Owen, Faleron, and Cleon around, she just didn't need them following her everywhere. Too many people complicated things. Too many guards would scare away those who would have approached her before. She wanted to be accessible to the commoners not scare them away.

"You're not happy," Ivan observed looking at Gwen as the others spoke about how to arrange their schedules to make sure someone was always awake and on guard in the sitting room of Gwen's suites. Talk ceased immediately as the now very common concerned look passed around the circle. For a moment she wondered if she should say anything. She didn't want to worry him further, or anyone for that matter, but she didn't want a squad of knights chasing her around. When Ivan looked like he would prod again she closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his face or anyone else's while she spoke.

"Would you be?" She asked him softly. "Who is going to be brave enough to approach the Godssent with even an important question when she's surrounded by armed guards?"

"But you put yourself at more risk without them there," Roald reminded her.

"I don't believe you adding guards stopped Maggur's mage from taking me from my own hallway." Gwen informed him with her eyes snapping open. "If you want to stop the majority of the threats to me, eliminate Maggur. He seems to be the biggest issue. I'm not as concerned about the common man on the street with a knife or the maid with the vial of poison. I'm concerned about the man with armies, mages who control immortals, and a very dangerous mind to use them. The man who has kidnapped me from the palace not once, not twice, but three times and each time getting a little worse. Who knows what he will do the fourth time."

"It's being worked on." George assured her. "I promise you that soon he will not be an issue to you." There was a long silence and then Dom addressed the group and Gwen.

"No more than three guards on at a time. One guard will always be myself or Ivan." Dom assured her. "You need at least two guards though. That's the minimum if you are leaving the room."

"Yes Sir." She gave him a mock salute but it was with a bit of a grim look. Things were supposed to be getting easier as time went on, not harder. She was supposed to be losing guards, not gaining them. It wasn't like she ever had control to give up as it was. She was at the mercy of whatever commanded her. Something pulled her from her world. She had been given a choice then and only then. Everything else left her at the mercy of those willing to look kindly or in awe upon a small woman from somewhere else.

"Gwen, since you are awake and feeling somewhat up to it…" Raoul said standing up and breaking her from her thoughts. "Maybe you would like to give your horse a bit of a test run so you two get used to each other without a parade of people around. Besides, Ivan said you took his horse at a full gallop in the snow. I'd like to see what else you know."

"I thought you didn't ride horses back home," Jonathon prompted when she stood.

"It's not common. More for sport now than for transportation and they are an expensive luxury when it comes to that." Gwen let Raoul pull her up and walked with her towards where the horses were picketed.

"She's unhappy," Dom sighed and rested his forehead on his open palm. "There's nothing I can do to appease all sides on this one."

"I believe her patience is a bit worn thin at the moment with this world." Kel supplied. "How long has it been since she's done anything without a guard? Where she's simply done something to enjoy herself? You know she used to go to the kitchens and bake, but Maggur took that from her. She used to be able to open her windows, now she's barred in because of Maggur. She's not going to be able to walk from her study to her bedroom, six feet at most, alone because Maggur took that too." Kel stared at the fire as she spoke.

"Even legends and heroes need a moment to be just a normal person again." Alanna added. "Goddess knows there are four people in this camp who know that more than anything." She laughed as she nodded to Kel and then pointed off in the direction Raoul had taken Gwen. "What does the real Gwen like?"

"Dancing," Ivan said almost immediately. "Though not the dancing we do at court. She'd probably prefer the dancing down in the towns and villages. And she likes music but she doesn't play anything herself. Mithros only knows what she would do if she could."

"The point that needs to be addressed is how we make Gwen feel less like the Godssent and more like a regular twenty-four year old woman." Dom told the crowd.

"She's twenty-four?"

"I believe her birthday was last month while she was imprisoned. But yes by her count she's twenty-four." Dom smiled as he saw looks go around the circle. Gwen really was the same age as most of them.

"It's amazing how young Legends usually are." Alanna stretched. "I was no more than twenty when I brought home the Dominion Jewel, Kel was eighteen when she slayed Blayce the Gallan. Daine was thirteen when she started to change our world. I have no idea how that old man got the title Giantkiller so late in life."

"I heard that!" A roar came from nearby and everyone turned to see Raoul standing next to a giggling Gwen as she sat atop her beautiful gelding. "Come on Gwen. If you look like you're doing well enough I may teach you to joust."

"But Sir Raoul, I hate flying." She teased as he led her mount away towards the edge of camp. "I have an awful fear of heights."

"Heights can't harm you," Raoul tried to tell her.

"But the fall just might." Gwen interrupted. Whatever Raoul might have said in reply was lost as they moved out of hearing range.

"She's witty, I'll give her that," George stood and dusted his pants off.

"My lord Baron, you have no idea how many wise cracks come out of her mouth when she's in the safety of her rooms." Ivan stood too. He wasn't about to let Gwen go out of his sight now that she was healed. Everyone else split up too. It was late afternoon and they would be moving out in the morning. There would be no more days of rest so it was a good time to make sure everything was in perfect order.


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning, with the exception of the last shift of sentries, Gwen was up first, still feeling overly energized from her experience with the Waters of Life. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, giving the land a rosy glow. All around her was beautiful landscape. They had set up camp in a prairie. The field of tall dead grasses moved in the slight crisp breeze. At the edges of the prairies were hills that were the start of mountains. They were the rocky hills that were heavily studded with trees and stretched up fairly tall. It made her question the actual measurement or specific characteristics to call a hill a mountain but she knew that wasn't important. Instead she saw the opportunity for a very rare moment in her life and briefly told the sentries she was going to stay in sight as she walked away from the camp. The moment one reached out to stop her, she turned and coolly asked if he really wanted to hold the Godssent back from using up a bit of extra energy or would he prefer to spar against her. The man blanched. It wasn't that she was skilled enough to cause any fear; it was just that the idea of possibly hurting the Godssent and the wrath of several highly important men that would come down on them for hurting her. She knew the area she wanted to go to. Raoul had walked her over it with her horse the night before. There in between some tall grasses, was a small deer trail. It stretched from one side of the field to the other. She intended to run it.

She never thought in all of her years she would ever want to run. She used to tell people she did not need to run unless she was being chased and even then she only had to be faster than the slowest person. But now she was not allowed to run. Not that it was, or ever had been, explicitly stated she shouldn't run but she needed to be in reach of her guards at all times. Running gave her a chance to be taken if she ever got just a bit too far out of their reaches. The cool autumn breeze filled her lungs as she stretched a bit and cooled her skin as she burst into her highest speed at the start. Her eyes were firmly on the ground in front of her, giving her warning when she needed to jump a rock or uneven part of the trail. She hit the end of the path before she knew it and turned around to go back again. Never had she had so much energy to run not only the length of a field, but to run back. On her third pass she stopped short and turned, something catching her eye. There was a path at the base of one of the tall treed hills. It looked steep and rocky but climbable. She desperately wanted to climb it. While she was afraid of heights, she had always loved hiking. Part of her wanted to turned and run right up the path, the other part of her kept her firmly in place as she knew it would take her out of sight of the sentries and thus causing some sort of panic. She had her daggers on her now but faced with something larger than a squirrel she would probably lose.

"Tired yourself out already?" Ivan's voice was a calm whisper in her ear. She jumped because he had snuck up on her. But she also had the sensation of a shiver run down her spine at his warm breath on her neck. She was panting slightly and when she turned she saw the amused look that meant he had seen her jump and was somewhat proud of himself. She didn't feel like reprimanding him for frightening her. She was just in too good of a mood and this was the most private moment they had had since leaving New Giantkiller though they were in full sight of the sentries. He looked better this morning, better rested and dressed sharply in his uniform. The uniform really did look wonderful on him. The blue bringing out the deeper shades that played in the shadows of his eyes.

"Not exactly. I saw the path there." She told him, remembering his question and pointed to the hill and waited for Ivan to see what she saw. "I used to have a lot of fun climbing hills just like that. But it takes me out of sight of the sentries." She took in a deep breath to try and will some of the extra energy away.

"Give me a moment." Ivan turned and ran back towards the camp only to come back with a sleepy Neal and Dom in tow. Both were armed up and dressed to ride. "Alright fair lady, lead on." Ivan gave her a small shove towards the path. Gwen didn't wait for a second order and took off at a run for the tree line. Her hands found trees to help pull her up the steep first parts of the path and she kept reaching for the lower limbs and smaller trunks to keep herself moving at a steady pace. It took a lot to climb like that. Legs and arms had to be strong, lungs made of leather, and balance was key. She stopped halfway up on a small flat ledge to regain her breath and turned to look back down the trail where Dom was clearly leading and Ivan wasn't far behind. Neal on the other hand stopped and looked up at her with a murderous glare. She leaned forward on a tree and laughed as she pulled Dom and Ivan up onto her small ledge.

"You're actually enjoying this!" Neal snapped at her. "You're insane!"

"I used to do this all of the time," she told him. "There's something just…" she felt a shudder of excitement go through her body and knew it visible showed as she saw Neal's face turn from a scowl to a bit more like a small frown. It was an improvement. Feel a new wave of energy, she started again, wanting to reach the top.

"What was that?" She heard Neal demand.

"A very happy Godssent," Dom told him before he pushed Neal up the trail. Gwen was already a good twenty feet up above them and going steady. At the very top she continued to move until she found a decent place to look out through a break in the trees and sat. Ivan came and sat next to her, slipping an arm around her waist. When she gave him a questioning look he grinned at her.

"You think anyone else was made enough to follow you up here? If they were they are still towards the base of the hill." Ivan tugged her a little closer and pressed his lips to hers.

"Well this is just perfect," Gwen sighed and cuddled into him. "I have you, and this was very fun, and it's going to be a lot of fun going back down as well. Plus look at this amazing view," she swept her hand across the scene in front of them. "In my world, even where I went hiking you couldn't look out without seeing something man made."

"Gwen, I was hoping to speak to you for a moment," Ivan nuzzled her ear and sounded a bit guilty.

"I still do not blame you," she told him with a giggle.

"Well that's good but," Ivan looked back and Gwen did too to see Neal lying on the ground breathing heavy and Dom kneeling over him. They were a respectful distance away so this conversation was private. "I was hoping to discuss something else. You see, I very much dislike being away from you. From the day you stumbled into my camp, dirty, soaking wet, starved, and injured, I have been drawn to you. Dom will be marrying Kel soon enough and he won't be able to live with you anymore. You'll need a guard who cares about you as more than the Godssent. At first, it was an easy answer. Me. I'm perfect for that spot and I share your bed so we'll have an extra room. But then I realized I can't be there all of the time and I thought long and hard the other day over who I would trust in my stead when I went away with the Own. The answer is no one, other than Dom. And that's certainly not fair to Dom to separate him from his wife to watch over you for months at a time."

"I can manage on my own you know." Gwen told him, her eyes narrowed on his face.

"I know my sweet, but I still want someone to keep an eye on you. I love you too much to know anything bad might happen to you while I am away. Each time I've been called out it's been something. The first time you were kidnapped. The second time you barely slept because of terrible nightmares over me. And the third time, within hours of me leaving, you were kidnapped again and almost died this time." He stopped and hugged her tighter to him. "Which is why I am going to turn in my resignation when we get back to the palace. Dom has offered me a permanent spot as your only real full time guard. I think it would be the highest honor."

"But Ivan, I don't want you to leave the Own to be my guard." She protested. She really put effort into telling him not to do it, but he cut her protests off with a very long kiss.

"There's more than that." Ivan told her when he pulled back. He stopped and stared at her for a long moment. She saw anxiety shift in his blue eyes and wondered what would possibly be worrying him so much. "I did not discuss this with anyone else and I'm not sure how this will be received by anyone including you, but Gwen," he stopped and blushed. She wasn't sure what exactly was happening but it felt important. It felt like they were alone up on top of that hill despite Neal and Dom behind them.

The nerves were rolling off of Ivan now. His body had the slightest tremble where his arm was around her, his breath hitched. He stopped for a moment to kiss her long and slow. It worried her. He was kissing her like he was losing her. That was silly; she loved him. She wasn't going anywhere. Not one blessed place anywhere. He had to know that much. Her mind wandered while he kissed her; without wanting to push him for him to just say what he had to say, she had plenty of time to think. What did he think would make her turn him down completely when he had weaseled his way into her bed repeatedly? In fact she was fairly certain each time he had started to join her in bed, she had told him not to. But he had come anyway.

They had never really said much about where they stood with each other. Ivan shared her bed. They cuddled. They kissed. He had seen her naked but he certainly had taken no liberties in either time. Then again what kind of decent man did when their lover was sick or dying? Not Ivan. He said it himself back at the very beginning, taking advantage if a woman was not his style. He had told her he wanted her for a lover, but she had told him she wasn't ready. She wasn't sure when it had evolved fully to something like a couple, but it had. She loved him. She cared so much about him. Yet his strange bout of anxiety and his kissing her like he was going to lose her had her so very worried. She stopped his kisses, pulling back and forcing him to look her in her eyes. He just stared, looking ever so troubled.

"Ivan, you're worrying me. What is it?" She hadn't wanted to push but it seemed to be necessary. He wasn't going to just spit it out for her. Even after she asked he looked away from her and took a few deep breaths. Slowly he shifted position to take her hands and entwine them in his. His fingers laced in with hers and very slowly he began to trace the delicate curve of her bones that stuck up.

"Gwen…" he breathed out her name like it was his dying breath. His eyes found hers and she saw something else shining through the anxiety: Hope. "I'd like to ask for your hand in marriage."


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: I suppose I could offer an excuse of why I fell out of schedule. Well it's simple really: I'm getting married in 3 months and suddenly have no free time on weekends. Thank you all for reading and for everyone who has reviewed so far.**

Somewhere in her mind Gwen imagined every single response she wanted to give him. The first was shock. She wanted to demand "What! Are you insane?" and move away from him. This was the response she knew he had feared when he had kissed her like he would lose her. At the same time she wanted to tell him "Yes, of course." But that would complicate so many things. Maybe she was still too new in this world. Had she established herself enough that marriage would just be something simply accepted for her or was it going to cause some sort of confusion amongst the people? Would Ivan be considered lucky or a new target? She vaguely became aware she was pulling her hands out of Ivan's and he looked utterly crushed.

"Ivan," she whispered his name wanting to get his attention.

"You don't have to say it, Gwen." He pulled away from her completely and turned his head to look out over the land and not at her, but she closed the short distance and laid a hand on his arm.

"I need a little time. This puts me in a tough place. I love you, and yes, I'd say yes to you in an instant if I was not the cursed Godssent. I'm not sure exactly where I stand with the people, if they would turn on me for doing something as utterly selfish as taking a husband. I don't know if I'd be painting a target on your back for every insane person out there." Her lips were trembling because she knew she had hurt him. He still refused to look at her. She had felt so utterly happy only moments ago and now she was scared and heartbroken. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Ivan. He seemed to realize she was being as honest as possible though and turned to face her again.

"Take all the time you need. I can wait for an answer." He told her softly. When she looked up he looked less hurt but she still felt terrible. She gave him a kiss on the temple and stood, waving to Dom and Neal that she was ready to go back. She took her time now, sliding down between trees and being extra careful when only ten minutes before she would have been laughing and doing this as fast as possible. Ivan was behind her, Dom in front of her. Her silence did not go unnoticed as they finished the climb down and hit the open field. Every possible bad scenario with marrying Ivan was filtering through her mind again and again. She wasn't looking for reasons to say no. She was looking for flaws in these images so she could say yes to him. She wanted him but she also had to remain practical. It wasn't like he could simply marry just his little maid Gwen and leave the Godssent out of it.

If she had been a man, and Ivan a woman, this would have been less of an issue. Men could have secret lives and families because they showed nothing on the outside besides a wedding band. A woman could become pregnant from certain marital activities and that was not a hard mark to miss for even some of the simplest people for nine months. It was awfully hard to miss that the Godssent was pregnant at the same time as her guard's maid wife. Right before she stepped into her tent to get ready, Ivan's hand found her shoulder and she stopped moving but she didn't want to face him. To face him now would make her want to tell him yes. She wanted to make him happy, she wanted him to make her happy.

"I didn't mean to scare you. We can go back and pretend I never asked." He whispered.

"No, I can't pretend that. I just need some time to think it through." She told him softly. "Like I said up there, it's more complicated for me now." Then she pushed inside of her tent. She was supposed to be getting ready, getting dressed as the Godssent and putting makeup on for this little parade.

"Please don't shut me out," Ivan followed her in, took her in his arms, and spun her to face him. He kissed her forehead, her eyebrows, her nose, and then finally her lips. "Please."

"It's awfully hard to remember all of the reasons I cannot just say yes when you do things like that." She told him with a wry smile. "Sit. Let's talk while I get ready." She spoke quietly as she sat in front of the mirror to start painting up her face. While she transformed herself into the Godssent, she filled Ivan in on all of her concerns pertaining to marriage alone. She had a whole new list of concerns when it came to children including the fear of passing along immunity to the Gift. After she was done, both getting ready and sharing her concerns, Ivan stood and took her in his arms again.

"Don't answer me until we get to the palace. We will have more privacy then and more of a chance to discuss everything through. You're right with your concerns." He sighed. "I suppose I knew what I was getting into but I see so much more than you being the Godssent it's hard for me to realize that's the dominant part of you here."

"A King is so much more than a King. But to his people, he's the King." Gwen informed Ivan. In response, Ivan adjusted her robes so they hung right.

"I'd like to ride next to you today since I will be taking Dom's place as your live-in guard once we get home, no matter what answer you give me."

"Alright."

While Gwen and Ivan were talking inside of her tent, Dom stood outside of it not listening in, but keeping people away. Whatever Ivan had said up on the hillside had sucked all of the positive happy energy from Gwen. Whatever it was, Ivan was attempting to fix it. Her stony look as they walked into the camp had not gone unnoticed and soon Dom was turning people away from the tent.

"She's not upset she had to come down is she?" Roald asked with a nod to the hill.

"No, she's the one that told us she was ready to leave. This is something different I think." Dom hesitated. "She and Ivan got awfully close up there and then he said something and suddenly she's ready to leave and won't even look at him."

"You think he finally confessed to having to hold her down while she was branded?" Roald asked softly.

"No, I think he already told her that. I know he was meaning to speak to her about taking up my place as the guard living in her rooms, but I don't think that's what this is about either." He shook his head. "We'll just have to wait to see what comes of it."

A few minutes later Gwen and Ivan emerged and servants with the Own came to take her tent down. Gwen stopped for a moment, looking at the empty space between Roald and Dom. "Ivan will be riding next to me today as he will be my new live-in guard." She didn't leave space to argue as she made her way over to the fire to claim some breakfast and then to her mount to help get him ready to ride out.

"What did you do?" Dom asked Ivan quietly while they readied their mounts. For a moment, Ivan said nothing and then he sighed. There was no one close enough to hear them over the noise of horses and men talking all around.

"I asked her to marry me."

"And she said yes?"

"She needs to think about it. Apparently, marriage for the Godssent could come across as selfish or she's certain it's going to get me killed. We're going to discuss it more when we get back to the palace." When Dom didn't respond, Ivan turned to look at him and found the slightly older man giving him a thoughtful look.

"She's right, but I don't think it would be as terrible as she thinks. I'm not sure she knows the public opinion of her all that well considering most of the public she deals with is nobility or royalty. I have a source in the city that's been updating me on what Gwen means to the people of lower classes. I think when we get home, it's time to introduce Gwen to a different type of King."

"You're talking the Rogue," Ivan smiled. "Did he approach you or did you go to him for this one?"

"He finds me when I'm in the city. Gwen gave me every Sunday to myself. Even when Kel wasn't around I went down to the city for a breather and he'd find me." Dom mounted up. "Will you two be alright?"

"Yes, we talked and we'll talk more when we get back." Ivan assured Dom. "She accepted me as her new guard after all."

Throughout the ride that day, Ivan did his best to keep Gwen's attention on him until they reached the first village. When the people came out to see her, Gwen dismounted, let people touch her hands and let children stroke her robes. A young mother passed her an infant which she held for a few moments before handing it back. She gave a blessing to a young couple who desperately wanted to marry but had no parents left alive to give them the final push. She answered questions, mainly about herself. The main question she was asked was how she escaped from the Scanran King this time. She made a point to tell everyone that Ivan was her hero. He had rescued her and pulled her back from the brink of death before bringing her back.

She spoke briefly with the children about remembering to be good people. Then she mounted up and the whole procession moved onto the next town, then the next village, and the next. Each place was much like the first. Gwen was asked to do things, simple things like a blessing or give encouragement. She always made a point to speak to the children, trying to instill good values and a lasting memory of her before she left. At every town and village, Ivan was recognized almost as immediately as Gwen. The story of his rescue of her was already ahead of them.

Each night as they made camp, Gwen found she couldn't take off her costuming. More people would find the them after they had set up for the night and want to speak to her. For the first time she dealt with advice to the common man in real time. She tried to be as honest as she could have been in her letters making sure to have Roald nearby when she was speaking in case it was one of those times she didn't have a clue how to help effectively.

"Why do you turn to the Prince for his advice?" One man asked after a particularly tough question about a law. "You are the Godssent. You shouldn't need advice from anyone."

"I don't claim to be an expert in anything, especially not the laws of a land I have spent less than two years in. I can offer you advice without his guidance on the laws and the best way to proceed but then I might be giving you faulty advice. How would that look?" Gwen smiled as the man glanced back at Roald, his future King.

"How do I know he isn't going to trick you into just telling me that I'm silly and the law is right?"

"Roald is a fair man, a fair Crowned Prince, a fair future King." Gwen smiled at him. "He tries to keep the best interest of his people in mind. I have seen him do things he does not necessarily want just because it's right. I know this man and he will be one of the best Kings. Only to be surpassed by his son once I'm done with him," Gwen gave Roald a wide grin as the commoner asked Roald to please join them then. Those kinds of things went ahead of them too. Each reception of Gwen seemed to teach the people something new and each time, she found the lessons went ahead of her.

She did not get to see Ivan as often as she wanted, especially to speak to him. She still had no answer for him but he was adamant they would speak in Corus in the privacy of her rooms rather than out in a camp or quietly as they rode. She hated that he slept so far from her but by the end of each night she was often exhausted enough to pass out and barely drug herself out of bed each morning. Whatever energy the Waters of Life had given her initially was long gone.

"But why do you need a hero? Why do you even need guards? You're the Godssent," one of the children asked her on one of her last stops close to Corus as several people greeted Ivan with a bow of respect to the Godssent's hero. She saw heads turn and not just from the villagers but also from the Own that traveled with her. To most of the Own she was a scary being still. Her own guards knew the answer better than anyone else. They had begun to see her as human rather than something completely divine. Gwen knelt down next to the boy, believing him to be no older than eight. She addressed him but raised her voice for all to hear.

"We all have fears. There are those in this world, in any world, that fear what they do not understand. Sometimes they fear it enough to want to get rid of it altogether. I have guards because some people do not understand why I was sent here. They think I am scary and they want to take that bit of fear away. These men and women protect me so I can keep helping people. I have a hero because everyone needs a hero. Even heroes have heroes. We all need someone to turn to and look up to in times of need. Even the Gods do not stand alone all of the time." As she spoke the words she knew they were true. After all, hadn't she seen that in the Trickster books?

Later that night as they made camp, a man in his late teens brought the same little boy to the camp to see Gwen. Gwen took the little boy while the man went and sat down at the fire with her guards. Both her and the boy knew that they were close enough to the fire that the men there could hear everything that was said.

"What are you scared of?" The boy asked her. "You said 'we all have fears'." The boy prompted her after some time of looking her over.

"I'm afraid of the dark," she told him easily.

"Nuh uh!" The boy's gasp and disbelief were very loud.

"On my life, I swear that's one of my biggest fears," she held her hand up to swear.

"But the dark ain't scary," the boy yelped, and then he paused and looked at the woman in front of him curiously. "I s'pose it don't matter if I think it's scary or not. Is that why you need heroes? To make things that seem scary, not scary?"

"That's exactly why I need heroes. And I have a lot of heroes. Did you know," she leaned in close so the boy felt like he was hearing a secret though Gwen wasn't all that much quieter, "you are my hero for coming here tonight."

"But that ain't nothin'!" He cried looking at her.

"You see to you it seems small. Come and ask a question that's been plaguing you all day, I bet. I bet it didn't seem all that hard to you either. To me it's big. So many people think I'm scary. That these men that stand by me to make sure I'm safe, that they are scary too. You braved all of that to come and ask me a question." She smiled when a look of realization crossed the boy's features.

"Does that mean anyone can be a hero?" He asked as she stood with him.

"Anyone at all," she told him and leaned down to press her lips to his cheek. "Thank you for being my hero." With that the boy and the man left and Gwen went to sit at the fire next to Ivan.

"Scared of the dark?" Ivan asked.

"Only when I don't have someone around to assure me there are no monsters under the bed." She told him calmly. "Of course the monster that came through my window sort of proved I wasn't all that childish about my fear. Or the one that came out at night in Scanra. And the same monster with the branding iron. Or that monster's pet mage who specializes in controlling monsters…" Gwen found a hand wrapped around her mouth to stop her from speaking.

"You proved your point." Ivan told her easily. "We can't tease you about fear of the dark." With that he took his hand from her lips.

"Or the monster I grew up with," Gwen said after a moment. "I always wondered what it was like to have an older brother that actually liked me and wasn't trying to kill me. I should thank you, Dom, for giving me that." With that Gwen stood and went to her tent. It was somewhat early to turn in but talking of fears had reminded her where many of hers began and they began at home with her family.

"Will she be alright?" Jonathon asked when Gwen did not come back out of her tent.

"I'm sure she will be. She's probably just tired," Ivan sighed. He wanted to follow Gwen into her tent, hold her and assure her that there was nothing in the dark he couldn't protect her from. But that was certainly not going to happen until they were back in Corus and locked away.

"We should discuss the ride into Corus while she is resting. It's going to be a bit more complicated since the whole city will turn out to see her." Raoul pointed out. "She's going to be an open target for assassins, crazies, and any chaos that normally follows her around."

"From your lips to the gods' ears," Kel muttered in response.

"Maybe they will help her since she's their Godssent." Neal pointed out.

"They don't seem to have assisted her so far." Ivan muttered to Dom while the others started to plan.


	28. Chapter 28

The next morning Ivan made a point to be the one to wake Gwen up. Usually he left that job to Dom or Roald as they were the ones that were typically awake and by her tent that early. Dom saw him go in and went to turn anyone else approaching the tent away to give them a bit of privacy. Gwen woke with a gasp almost instantly when Ivan knelt down next to her.

"Shhh, it's just me." Ivan said stroking her hair back and kissing her forehead. "I just wanted to check on you. You went to bed fairly early for you last night."

"I'm just tired. It's not exactly rest that I'm getting in the middle of a camp and on display all day and evening." She sat up and rested her forehead against his for a moment. "I could use a sleep in a real bed away from noise and a day where I don't have at least ten sets of eyes on me at all times."

"We'll be in Corus right after midday and then we should have from dinner on to ourselves. We'll get to sleep in our own bed and no one should object to me keeping you to myself tomorrow. You deserve a day to get settled in. And then we can talk tonight or tomorrow about everything." Ivan assured her.

"You paint a beautiful picture." She grinned at him. "I miss sleeping with you."

"Tonight," he promised her. "And then I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

"That's awfully difficult," she told him as she got out of the bed and dug in her trunk for a pair of brown breeches, a cream colored shirt, and her robes.

"Alright, I may let you out of my sight, but only with people I trust and only when I know where you are going. You have a tendency to get in trouble otherwise." Ivan informed her as she started to paint up her face.

"Yes, dear," she pulled him in for one long kiss before she finished painting up her lips and then stowed everything away before following him out. Dom smiled at them as they came out and he claimed Gwen's other side.

"My dear we have to discuss today." Dom told her as she sat down for breakfast.

"The volume of people has everyone on edge doesn't it?" Gwen asked without missing a beat. She saw Dom roll his eyes. "I won't get off of my horse, I'll smile and wave from afar, and I'll stay close."

"I don't know why I even bother trying to have these conversations with you. You already know what I want to tell you for safety." Dom teased her. "When we reach the city you will ride at the front between the King and Roald. They will each shift a half horse length back to give everyone a better view of you. We estimate it will take nearly three hours to get between the edge of the city and up to the palace."

"I'm going to be awfully tired of waving." She told Ivan with a grin. There was no more talk as everyone loaded up and got ready to go. They stopped for a brief midday at noon just before they reached the city and recapped what everyone was to do. Gwen took her place at the head as her part was actually the easiest. Smile and wave, acknowledge everyone and try not to die if someone decided to shoot at her from a rooftop somewhere.

As they entered the city Gwen realized they were starting in the poorest section and would be walking up through the ranks up to the palace. The rode was wide enough for five horses across with a good amount of spectators on either side. It and the people stretched out in front of her in a long line stretching five miles up to the palace gates. As her mount stepped over the line that marked the border of the city she heard cheers erupt in a deafening roar.

While riding through the small villages and towns had given her an idea of how she was being received by the people, the echo of cheers running down the line made her feel like she was actually doing something. Her smile became plastered on her face as she waved to even the lowliest of peasants at the edge of the city. It was slow moving and the sound of cheering never died out as they moved out of the poorest district and up towards some of the shops. After an hour they were a third of the way up the path and they had reached a place where people were on the roofs waving to her as well. Somewhere behind the cheering she felt a tension growing in the air. She wished there was some way to signal she felt something wrong but she didn't know other than the air was humming with tension. Then at a particularly crowded intersection, the tension broke. The people cheering from the sides of the street suddenly pushed forward in full mass and easily overtook the relatively small amount of warriors. Gwen watched for just a moment as the road in front of her turned into a sea of people.

She looked beside her to see Roald and Jonathon nowhere near her side. Her horse had been forced forward and they were stuck behind the people. She felt hands tugging at her and she tried her best to reason with the people but they were crazed. She saw the look in their eyes. This was their Godssent and they wanted to touch her. She stayed on her mount as long as possible and was thankful the horse did not injure anyone as she was pulled down into the crowd. Her robes caught on the saddle as she fell and ripped off. Then she fell under the feet of the people.

She thought someone would have noticed the Godssent without her robes but the moment she was on the ground the crowd around her lost track and while she curled up to protect herself from the push of legs and feet, she pulled her scarf off and scrubbed at the paint on her face. She received a good kick to the side that left her gasping but she managed to stand up. Unknowningly helpful hands shoved her backwards way from the horse towards the edge as the people tried to get closer to where the Godssent had been. At the edge of the crowd she stood for a moment staring in horror as the crowd discovered she really was gone and turned from crazed type fans into a mob.

"Come on lass, this is no safe place for you." She felt a large hand take hers and suddenly she was running through the streets being propelled by a large man dressed in black breeches and a black shirt. She could easily see the outline of blades under his shirt and breeches while they ran. All around her sane men and women were rushing to get to safe places, pushing children in front of them. She wondered where the man was taking her. His vice like grip on her hand left little room for choice as he tugged her through streets and they were running long after others disappeared around them. Her lungs burned, her muscles screamed, her heart threatened to pound out of her chest. She was about to beg to stop when she was pulled rather abruptly into a side door and they came to an instant stop.

"Who's this?" She heard someone ask as she tried to catch her breath. Looking around she saw a very obvious interior of a tavern with several people sitting around the bar.

"We have a visitor for dinner." The man that had dragged her across Corus informed everyone. "Let's make the Godssent comfortable until this mob is controlled outside."

"The Godssent?" She heard someone gasp.

"But she don't look like the Godssent?" Another man pointed out.

"Does… anyone… look… remotely… divine… when… they… can't… catch… their… breath?" Gwen wheezed out.

"Have a seat," she felt her body pressed into a chair and a tankard was set down in front of her. "Juice, since I know you do not drink." She looked at the man with a look he read easily. "I didn't poison it. We like the Godssent here." She raised her eyebrows with one more question. "Nor did I drug it." After another moment the man took her mug, took a hearty drink for himself and then set it down. After that display she figured she could afford to drink.

"Where…am…I?" She looked around hoping to find a name carved somewhere.

"The Dancing Dove. And you my dear are at the mercy of…"

"The Rogue," Gwen finished her breath becoming a bit easier. "And his court of course."

"Intelligent woman," the man she assumed was the Rogue, the very same man that had dragged her through the streets and sampled her juice, grinned at her. "My name is Erick."

"Gwen," she offered her hand out to give him a solid shake. More introductions were to be had as the few people in the tavern came forward to give names and shake hands. "Will someone alert my guards to where I am? I don't need them to panic when everything is cleared and I'm still missing."

"When all is clear I will leave you in a place you can be found. But until my lookout gives the all clear, it's safer if you just stay put. Can't have the crowd trampling the Godssent by mistake." Erick reached over and touched the necklace that dangled out above her collar. "Pretty trinket? Gift from an admirer?"

"You could say that," Gwen was sure if the Rogue did like her, he had information on her. While she was nowhere near naïve enough to believe he meant he liked her more than a public image, she still wanted to protect Ivan.

"From a certain guard, I believe. The same said guard who you call your hero," Erick's voice was quiet and mocking, the others in the tavern had moved away enough so this conversation was private.

"I'd be in a lot worse position now if he had not played the hero," Gwen felt defensive at his tone.

"Easy there," Erick smiled at her. "I was just curious if you returned his affections for you."

"Does it matter if I do or don't?"

"I'm going to cut to the chase as you don't seem to be in a mood to be teased at the moment," Erick sighed. "I have been speaking with your Captain Domitan when he comes into the city and we write. He did not mention the romance; I did, for the record. But he says you are ever worried about your image amongst the common crowd. It would not look bad for you to return the affections of your hero as insane as he is to be in love with the Godssent."

"Would it look bad if I were to say, marry my hero of a guard?" Gwen asked quietly peering up over the top of her tankard into Erick's gray eyes. He considered her for a moment, and then gave a wry smile. This seemed to be new information though he obviously had kept tabs on her and probably more than through Dom. That her relationship had been only a speculation and not something that was easy to spot meant she and Ivan had done an excellent job at hiding it.

"I think, that now that you have personally spread the word that he is your hero, no it would not. He seems charming enough from afar that I believe the people will see you have good reason to love him." Erick paused a moment about to say something and then he stopped and shook his head.

"What?" Gwen asked noticing the sudden bite back. "You might as well say it or I'm going to pester you until it comes out."

"It wouldn't be a bad thing for you to have some things to make you more human. If the people feel like they can relate to you a bit more, the messages you spread seem more attainable." He paused as a tankard of what she assumed would be ale was set down in front of Erick. "A husband and children wouldn't be a terrible thing at all."

"Well that eases my mind part way about telling the poor man 'yes'. He and I will just have to talk out my other concerns but maybe there will be a wedding in the future." Gwen gave Erick a small smile.

"What other concerns do you have about it? Maybe I can ease your mind completely and your poor guard won't have to work too hard to convince you." Erick leaned forward.

"Well it's simple really. I have enemies. I have enemies that like to cause me pain. Such enemies could, for example, want to harm me by using people I love. A husband and children are far more likely targets to that kind of attack than say my Captain of my Guard or the Prince though I would feel just as heartbroken over any of their deaths on my account or at all."

"I suppose only he can assure you he is willing to put up with your enemies, but it was worth a shot." Erick sighed.

"I appreciate the effort." She gave him a real smile. "So how long do you think this is going to take to clear whatever little chaos I caused?"

"It could be several hours. There were a lot of people and all of the talk recently has been about the Godssent returning to Corus and in full view for the first time."

"So it's going to be a while. I feel terrible with them out there and me all nice and cozy in here." She admitted. "Is there a way to signal them that I'm safe? I'd feel better knowing they aren't terrorizing more people while searching for me." Erick signaled one of the men who went out the door without another word.

"He'll try and get a message out to your people, if it doesn't get the mob riled up again. While we wait, do you play cards? It would be a nice way to pass the time."

"I have learned a few games from the men of the Own but I don't have anything to gamble I'm afraid." Gwen admitted as Erick waved the rest of the people around and cards were produced.

"I feel like it would be in bad taste to gamble with the Godssent. We don't need to bet anything." Erick informed her as he handed her the cards. "Name your rules."

A few hours later as some sort of order seemed to be restored to the streets, Erick and Gwen slipped out of the Dancing Dove and walked up through the temple district up to the stairs that led up to the palace. Erick bid her farewell for it did not do well for the Rogue to be in such plain sight of lawmen and left her sitting on the steps to wait. She had a fairly clear view of the roads now that the sun was setting and she could see men in blue and white regathering in the center of the road two or so miles down. It had not snowed yet but it was cold out and without her robes or all of the running from earlier she finally felt the chill and curled into herself while she waited.

It took about fifteen minutes but the horsemen started to draw near and she saw Lord Raoul at the head with Dom and Ivan on either side of him. Her other guards were behind that and then the full two companies of the Own. She waited until they were almost right next to her and then uncurled from her spot and stood.

"Mithros, Girl," she heard Raoul laugh. "For a moment there I swore part of the step had moved."

"That was my intention, Sir," she called back. She hugged her own body trying to find some warmth.

"Well, mount up. You look like you need to get inside." Raoul nodded back between Faleron and Neal where her horse was riderless. She would have rather mounted up in front of Ivan because she was certain he would be warm and she wanted some sort of assurance he wasn't injured in any way. But it was not worth arguing. She would be inside and warm soon enough. She went back to her pretty horse and clambered up into the saddle.

"I thought you had someone with you," Dom called back.

"My rescuer wasn't exactly a law abiding citizen and too many lawful people about made him a bit nervous." Gwen admitted. "I'm sure he was lurking long enough to see me mount up. I take it the message got through that I was safe?"

"It did. It was helpful to know we didn't have to search the entire city to find you." Raoul told her.

"Or that we weren't going to find some a dead body rather than you alive and well," Neal drawled.

"Lovely, Meathead," Gwen heard Dom say. "We sent Roald and the King ahead to get their royal bums to safety a few hours ago. I'm sure you're going to get an earful the moment you pass through the gates."

Gwen shivered in her saddle wanting to go just a bit faster but everyone seemed a bit too worn out by everything that had happened over the course of the day. She toughed it out though, because complaining wouldn't get her very far. Roald did indeed meet them at the gate and he led Gwen away to a different stable where her mount would go with the royal family's horses. She told him about her escape and Erick.

After her horse was taken care of Roald led Gwen back to meet her guards at a side door to the palace. Ivan reached out to take her hand and hissed as he held it. "You're freezing," he pulled her into his arms and tried to chafe some warmth into her.

"Well it's almost November and I was outside for a little under an hour like this," Gwen shrugged. "Can't say I'm too upset about being cold if you hold me like this."

"You must be tired if you aren't hiding this little love affair," Roald teased.

"This isn't some little love affair." Gwen admitted. "This is the man I'm going to marry." She hugged Ivan a bit closer.

"Is that a yes?" Ivan asked her after the initial gasp.

"It's a 'you're stuck with me now'." Gwen teased. "But we still need to talk."

"Let's get you inside your room where I can wrap you up in blankets and get some food in your stomach," he smiled at her as her stomach rumbled against him. He hooked his fingers through hers and gave a nod to the others so they could start the long walk through the palace to her rooms.

"Did you actually ask her?" Roald asked.

"What he means is: Are you insane?" Neal demanded, albeit quietly.

"Probably," Ivan admitted. "But she's worth it."

"Can we talk about me like I'm here? I know you all got in the habit when I was missing for three months but come on."


	29. Chapter 29

The next morning Gwen woke briefly when Ivan started to edge out of the bed. She started to protest but he stopped her with a few kisses and tucked her back in. "It's too early, come back to bed." She told him when he started to get dressed. Despite retiring to bed after eating, they had stayed up until late and she realized how much of a luxury a real bed was now that she had slept in a straw pile and on a cot for several months. And losing the warmth of Ivan in the bed was not something she was ready for.

"Well, my darling betrothed," he gave her a boyish grin as he called her his 'betrothed'. "I need to go and resign from the Own so I can officially take up a place as your guard. So I'm getting dressed, and then I'm going to steal paper from your desk, and I'm going to write a resignation, and deliver it to Sir Raoul. Then once that is done, I'm going to come back and lock the doors and make sure you are all in one piece."

"I thought you did that last night," she teased as she reached for her shirt that had been tossed to the floor.

"I believe most of that was you attempting to reward me for my oh so valiant rescue of you," Ivan grinned at her. "I'd like to return some of the favor. I didn't say you could have that back by the way." He snatched her shirt out of her hands and tossed it back to the floor. "Go back to sleep, love. You deserve to get some rest and enjoy a real bed." He kissed her nose and then left the room. Gwen only shook her head, cuddled into her pillow, and decided she could definitely follow that order.

"Look who finally decided to get up," Neal teased Ivan as he stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him so Gwen had two closed doors between her and any noise that might come out of her guards. "Is she getting up too?"

"Oh no, she's going to get some decent rest." Ivan smiled as he started to dig in Gwen's desk for paper and her pen set. "I wanted to get my resignation in early so I don't take too much time away from her today. I've been waiting to soothe some of the fears of my sudden proposal until after we were safe back here and could have time alone."

"Are those letters?" Neal asked coming into the office to see some of the paper Ivan was setting aside that was already written on.

"No, she likes to keep a piece of paper by her when she's answering letters to write little tidbits that pop into her head. She doesn't share those." He tried to tuck the papers away but Neal picked one up.

"I think it's poetry," Roald said after reading over Neal's shoulder in the doorway.

"We twine around each other like shadows," Neal recited. "Is she writing about you, Lover Boy?"

Dom came up behind Neal and Roald and snatched the paper away. "Leave her private writings alone. She could use something private in this world." Dom handed the paper over to Ivan and pulled his cousin out of the room. "Is Gwen getting up soon?"

"No, I don't think so. I told her to sleep while I get my resignation turned in." Ivan very much hoped she did not get up anytime soon. He was looking forward to coming back and finding Gwen exactly as he left her, still in bed and without a stitch of clothing. Then he saw Dom and Roald share a look. "What? I thought she had a day to settle back in. You said last night that she could sleep in and relax today."

"Actually, we were hoping to steal you for the day," Roald admitted. "You see, back when we first met you, when you brought a dirty and disheveled Gwen back to the palace after her first kidnapping, I told you I had to find a suitable reward for you for bringing the Godssent home again. Now you've done it twice more since then."

"I should be honest, I am only responsible for getting her back the first time and I honestly had nothing to do with the second time except being present when she stole my horse." Ivan sighed. He liked to pretend he was her hero through and through but he knew she did deserve credit for rescuing herself constantly.

"Well either way, she seems fond of you and this last rescue went above and beyond. We, the royal family, and others from around the world who are in mind to like the Godssent, want to say 'thank you' so I'd like to steal you for a bit today and Gwen's Captain of her guard." Roald's eyes followed Ivan's as they flicked to the door.

"Your Highness…" it was an honor surely but he also wanted to give Gwen all the time she needed for whatever they had to talk about. And he really had had to tear himself away in the first place for his resignation. "If you only knew what I left to turn in this resignation, you would not ask me to take more time than necessary." He saw Roald and Dom both look at the door curiously.

"Is she no longer concerned about getting pregnant now that you two are on the road to having your own family anyway?" Dom asked after a long moment.

"No, she's still concerned about that. It's one of the many things we have to talk about today. She doesn't want children put in harm's way just because they had the ungodly experience of her being their mother and she's very concerned about passing on an immunity to the Gift." Ivan sighed. "Of course that doesn't mean we can't do some other things in bed," he blushed slightly as he said it.

"Can she even get pregnant?" Roald asked finally. "I mean, she's been raped a countless number of times by Maggur and has never been pregnant by it. From the rumors I've heard, he's not infertile."

"I've thought about that too, but I'm not about to bring that up. I'd like to still look like the good man at the end of the day and not upset her. You can bring it up though. Then when she's crying in my arms because of what you said, I'll still look like the good man and you'll look a bit more heartless." Ivan waved a hand over his resignation. "I'm going to turn this in, and then I will be coming back."

"I'll go with you actually," Dom told him. "I don't think you are aware of this now, but you are one big target walking around this palace. If you get killed, I'll never console her."

"One moment then," Ivan opened the door to the hallway and went back into the bedroom. Through the door they heard Gwen's clear laugh, a gasp, and then another laugh. He came back out with a charm which he put around his neck and two more daggers on his weapons belt firmly closing the hallway door behind him. "Alright, let's go."

By the time Ivan and Dom came back Gwen was awake and much to Ivan's disappointment, fully clothed. She sat at the table with food in front of her talking animatedly with Roald and Neal while she ate. She gave Ivan a sheepish smile when she caught him looking over her clothes.

"So how do you feel about marrying me now that you get a taste of being guarded rather than being a guard?" She asked when he came over. It was a real question and he could see the anxiety flickering in her eyes while she waited for an answer.

"I'm in good company." Ivan informed her. "Should we go talk?" He wanted to take her and assure her that even with the very minor inconvenience of having an escort walk with him to anywhere he wanted to go, he wanted to make her his wife. He also wanted to remind her that he did not say she could have her shirt back yet anyway.

"Roald said he had something he needed you for today," Gwen looked to Roald who only gave an innocent look.

"I told you I wanted to spend time with her today," Ivan warned Roald.

"And I went above you," Roald grinned. "She's in good hands for the day. Faleron said he'd come over when Dom and I had you." He stood and before Ivan had a chance to even say what he thought of Roald going above him to Gwen, he was ushered out the door.

"It's very difficult to give her what she needs to feel more at ease about her decision when we have what seems like a never ending line of people pushing us apart," Ivan growled what they got partway down the hall. "Even those I was starting to consider as friends."

"You're marrying the Godssent, you should get used to that," Dom jammed his hands in his pockets. "I'm sure she's a bit put off by having to wait a little longer too but she knows what I know and what Roald knows: your time is not your own anymore."

"I thought you two would have talked last night with how early the two of you retired after dinner," Roald shrugged as they walked.

"Gwen wasn't necessarily in the mood to talk all that much last night. Even if I had it in mind to broach the subject last night, I wouldn't have been able to make coherent words with what she had in her mind to be doing." Ivan blushed slightly when Dom and Roald both stopped to look at him. "When we got back to the room, she said something about wanting to reward her hero properly. I tried to tell her that marrying her was enough but I wasn't exactly in a position to tell her 'no' when she started to show me how she was going to reward me. She can be very… convincing when she wants to do something."

"Well we can try and make this a bit faster but I would expect it to take until this afternoon," Roald sighed. "I'm sorry. If you do marry her though, this is something you have to take into mind. Pretty much the only time you two will have to yourselves now is when you are in bed at night."

"Sounds like royalty," Ivan muttered.

"Worse, because royalty usually only has one country's worth of problems. Gwen has a whole world's worth of problems." Dom pointed out.

"As much as I don't like it," Ivan said after a moment, "she's worth every single bit of consequence that comes with marrying her. Now, what exactly are you two doing to me?"

"We are going to make sure the husband of the Godssent is better equipped for whatever will be thrown at him." Roald informed him happily. "New armor, new weapons, new protection charms, new clothing..."

"I already have armor, and weapons, and clothing. And I've started to acquire some very nice protection charms." Ivan heard Dom laugh.

"You will be marrying the Godssent as her hero. You need to look the part, especially when you two wed in front of the entire world." Roald explained.

"I only just got her to agree to marry me and you're already taking the wedding out of our control? Does she know this?" Ivan demanded.

"I spoke with her about it briefly while you were turning in your resignation," Roald admitted. "Her biggest concern was how she would afford whatever grand and splendid wedding the people expected out of the Godssent. It will be taken care of. All we need is for you to start playing your role. And that role comes with far more shiny and expensive things. But you won't be alone. Dom here has never been very equipped for the role as Captain of the Godssent's Guard. That's why he's coming too."

By the time Ivan was allowed to return to Gwen he had been measured and for all types of new armor and weapons. Most of his gear would be gold washed so he matched her in her golden robes. Dom would be in a mix of gold and polished steel to mark that would display an emblem that had been designed around the Godssent. Ivan was certain Gwen had no idea she had an emblem now but he did not think she would disapprove of the symbol: a sun with a crescent moon hooking through the bottom of it and stars twinkling around the outside.

When he came back into the room Gwen was sitting at the table with Neal and Faleron bent over some papers sketching. Neal greeted him and told him that his now former squad had stopped by with his things and they had all been checked for pranks. Gwen detached herself from the table and immediately noticed one of the newest charms that would be a new permanent fixture on Ivan. She gingerly touched at the new sparkle in his right earlobe. It was a gold charm meant to keep him from ever being controlled. He hadn't been sure how she would accept him with a piercing but after she seemed to consider the look for a second she teased him saying it was very dashing and left it at that. It was one of many new charms. He had several very strong charms to protect him from poisons and drugs braided into a leather wrist band. He had a communication charm around his neck that would connect him with any of Gwen's guards at a moment's notice including Raoul. Her hands wrapped around his to find the ring he wore as well: a flat silver band with her insignia pressed into it.

"What's that?" She asked as her eyes fell on the gold design pressed into the silver.

"Your new symbol," he told her ignoring Roald and Dom coming in behind them. He knew she would have to have some sort of comment about not being consulted but instead she gave it a thoughtful look.

"I suppose we could add the sun and the stars to the brand on my back," she traced her finger over the design. "What do you think?"

"You have to be joking," Neal demanded from his place at the table.

"I don't think she is," Ivan knew that look in Gwen's eyes. She wasn't teasing, she was actually thinking. She had that look that said she was weighing the outcomes of the decision, possibly imagining the pain.

"I was just thinking, why shouldn't I get to own whatever mark is on my skin. This might be a good way to take back the more visible things he did." She let Ivan's hand go. While she had been healed in the Waters of Life but it had not removed the mark much to his dismay. Instead it had been healed up to a point where it was a smooth indent in the shape of a crescent moon over her shoulder. "If that's truly my symbol maybe…" she reached an arm around to touch her shoulder blade.

"I can't imagine watching you go through that again," Ivan told her softly, putting his arms around her waist. "Now, I promised you probably a thousand times over that we were going to talk today and I'm going to kidnap you and take you with me and lock you into our room." He scooped her up and carried her back through her office to their bedroom where everyone in the sitting room could hear the locks slide into place.

"How was she today?" Dom nodded to the door but his eyes were focused on Faleron and Neal.

"She was fairly disappointed you took him away but I think she's getting used to it." Faleron started to straighten up the papers that Gwen had been working on and stoppered the ink well she had been using.

"What's all of that?" Roald nodded to the papers. They appeared to be drawings but it was hard to tell what was on the pages.

"Neal asked Gwen if she was getting married in her world what she would wear, so she started sketching out the different kinds of gowns women wore. Not that she ever said which design she preferred." Faleron handed the sheaf of papers over to Roald. "I don't think she wanted to let us know which one she preferred because she didn't want to give herself the illusion of choice here. We all know she'll wear her robes."

"Maybe there is a way to fix it so she can incorporate some of the things she would like to have as well." With that Roald took the sketches and left the room.


	30. Chapter 30

The news that the Godssent was marrying her hero took the world by storm by the end of November. Gwen and Ivan were not sure how but they woke up one morning and everyone just knew. When she asked Roald what he had done, he claimed innocence. It wasn't until Myles came and told her the priests and priestesses down in the city were claiming visions of the happy news and were instructed to share it by the god or goddess of their following that they had an answer to the how.

"You really don't like making things easy," Gwen said looking up at the ceiling of her room.

Letters started to pour in, good wishes for her and her hero. Ivan started to receive letters as well though Gwen suspected that the pile he pushed aside and showed to Dom later were not filled with good wishes or asking for advice. He would not confirm it and the letters were always gone by the time Gwen could sneak away to look at them. Ivan, to his credit, took everything in stride. He started to wear his golden armor in public the moment it came in and he developed his own persona to match Gwen's Godssent image for when he was approached. And he was approached from time to time.

With Midwinter came the stress of gifts and as the Godssent, Gwen had absolutely no time to even look at gifts or talk to anyone about getting gifts for her guards and the people that made a difference in her life. So Gwen wrote a note to the only person she thought she could trust with this particular venture, Sir Myles. He arrived on a Sunday, evicted Ivan from the office under the pretense of wedding fussing, and he addressed the problem. He asked Gwen, if there was no limit on what she could do, what she would give. So with sketches and long descriptions, Gwen put an item to every name on her fairly long list. Gwen was assured she could afford all of it as she did have an income of sorts.

"Wait, I have an income?" Gwen asked catching Myles' hand wanting to understand.

"You receive gifts, monetary gifts, from the monarchs of the countries you've met with or written letters to. We've been holding it for you until you had a need. You're actually fairly wealthy by our standards." Myles explained softly.

"From now on, whatever the amount is, donate half of it to helping those in need. If we can't get it to the people directly, pour it into the funds that Roald has being set up to create the programs we have been building." Gwen waited for Myles to agree and then she let him go. Any questions about what wedding stuff Myles had had to talk to her about without her future husband were actively evaded with kisses and dragging Ivan back to the bedroom for a bit of fun while they had one of their few rare moments completely alone in the suite without any interruptions.

Only a few days after that Gwen received a bit of a shock as Ivan mutely handed a letter to her and after reading it several times through she set it down. Ivan's family, his very esteemed noble parents and his knightly older brother with his wife and nephews wanted to meet the Godssent as their future daughter and sister in law. They would be at the palace for Midwinter and expected her and Ivan to visit.

"Don't they know the Godssent is a busy woman?" Neal asked looking at the letter when Gwen didn't seem to have a response for Ivan.

"One might argue if I am too busy to meet my betrothed's family they I might be too busy to have a husband," Gwen sighed and looked to Ivan. "Do I meet them as Gwen or as the Godssent?"

"I wish I had an answer to that," Ivan ran a hand through his hair while he thought. "My family members, while I love them dearly, are fairly opinionated people and while they know I have been working as your guard, I think this marriage thing might have come as a shock to them. They, like I was victim to before I had the very startling announcement that the woman I escorted back to the palace was truly sent from the gods above, believe the Godssent is not human and to admit you are human might just cause them to panic about the fate of our world being in the hands of one small woman." He caught Gwen's eye and raised his hands in defeat. "I think you are quite capable when you don't have a power lusting king kidnapping you. And in time my family will see that too."

Gwen was not to worry anything more about it until Ivan wrote his brother to gauge what his family was expecting. Instead she answered an unending line of letters that seemed to flow in more than just four or five a day. Some days she received as many as thirty. At least half of the letters were in unfamiliar languages and only some of them could be translated by her guards. Others she was forced to rely on the diplomats but they often left her feeling like she was missing pieces or had been lied to altogether. In turn it left her frustrated because she felt that she should answer her own letters despite the growing impossibility of it all.

Some nights over the month of December the anxiety of Ivan's family coming to meet her, Maggur still not having been dealt with, and the growing mountain of letters kept her wide awake into the morning hours. At such times she would wait until Ivan was asleep and then would slip out to answer as many letters as she possibly could. It was the only problem she could partially solve. Just before Midwinter, Ivan caught her. He must have woken shortly after she left and gone in search of her. When he found her at her desk he folded her letters back up and carried her back to bed.

"Now, why exactly are you spending the little time you get to sleep wide awake and answering letters?" Ivan demanded when he had her back in the room and pinned down on the bed. Rather than answer with forbidden topics like his family, who he had not heard back from; Maggur, who plagued both of them with nightmares; and work, which was supposed to be dropped the moment the door closed behind them for the night, Gwen ran her hands down Ivan's chest towards his waistline and tugged at his breeches. He let out a hiss of pleasure when she began to touch him but it didn't last long as he captured her hand. "Quit trying to distract me. Do you do this every night?"

"Not every night," she admitted. "Just most of them."

"Tell me how I can help," he laid down next to her and pulled her close.

"I don't think you can," she toyed with the waist of his breeches again. "I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed and I don't know what to do about it. So I'm doing the only thing I can."

"All Godssent or other things too?" Ivan pressed though his hands were starting to stray up her night shirt.

"Other things too," she admitted but she wouldn't say anything more no matter how much Ivan tried to pry the answers from her.

"Well, from now on, if you feel you can't sleep you should wake me. I'll put your mind on other things until you are ready to sleep." He shifted to pull of her night shirt, leaving her breathless as it always did when he found ways to bring her pleasure without actually bedding her. Some part of her was sure that this kind of loving between them would go away as soon as they were married and he was allowed to actually bed her. It wouldn't matter if she was with child after that. Other parts of her mind told her that she and Ivan would continue to find ways to play in bed because it was the only time they could fully focus on one another. Finally she and Ivan were both too exhausted to do anything more than sleep.

The morning after Ivan had discovered Gwen's nightly activities, he requested Dom bring him to Roald or Myles or he didn't care who but he had a request to make. Roald was not expecting Dom and Ivan as they were shown into the sitting room that belonged to the Crowned Prince and Princess but he was willing to hear Ivan out nonetheless.

"Gwen needs clerks." Ivan started. "And peace of mind about Maggur and his pet mage."

"Maggur has been sent a very stern warning that if he so much as looks like he might be thinking of obtaining Gwen again, he will be removed from the throne by no less than ten countries." Roald offered.

"Which still leaves him to be a threat to her," Ivan sighed. "I think she knows nothing has truly been done about him though he has kidnapped her from this palace three times over and imprisoned her twice. Each time has gotten increasingly worse. Next time she'll be dead."

"Enough," Roald hardly ever raised his voice but he did so just enough to silence Ivan. "Maggur is being watched. If he so much as looks to this border with any sort of intent, we'll have him flayed. But that's all I can get the councils to agree to do. No one wants to start another blood bath with Scanra without a real cause." He took a moment to calm down and then addressed Ivan once more. "Clerks."

"Gwen hasn't been sleeping. She's overwhelmed by letters and other things that concern her but the letters are the only thing that makes her get out of bed because she knows they are out there. She could keep up when it was even ten letters a day but now she gets more than that and the pile just keeps growing. Her pile of ones she can't get translated reliably grows even more. She's frustrated and overwhelmed and it's getting worse each day."

"So clerks, ones that can read and write in multiple languages. That can be arranged. But I was under the impression Gwen wanted to answer each letter herself," Roald touched on the one thing Ivan had not mentioned. "Or has she come to her senses that even she will need help at some point?"

"She did not ask for help. I'm asking because I know she needs it. She's going to be angry with me for going around her but in the end she's going to have a little more time to let things go at the end of the day." Ivan shook his head.

"I'll start looking for people I can trust around her." Roald offered. "It might be after Midwinter but we'll find a few people." With that Dom and Ivan were pushed out of the room.

"I have a sinking feeling Gwen won't live long enough for armies to march on Maggur if he decides to go after her again." Dom sighed as they started to walk down the hall.

"You too?" Ivan glanced at Dom to see he was serious. "Well, without upsetting our dear Prince, all we can do is make sure we guard her the best we can. Say, while we are out running around anyway, I need to come up with something special for Gwen for Midwinter."

Gwen was not told about the meeting Ivan and Dom had with Roald. She was not told about clerks or about what exactly had been done about Maggur. Instead Ivan turned his attention to distracting Gwen as much as he could with asking her about her Midwinter traditions. When her other guards heard about the decorations such as the thing she called a 'Christmas Tree' and the garlands around the doors and windows, Gwen found herself directing her much taller guards on how to put them up after they went through the effort of acquiring them. Some nights when it was just Dom, Kel, Gwen, and Ivan left in the room, she would sing her Christmas songs and spent time learning Midwinter songs in both Yamani and Common.

The day before Midwinter started, Roald asked Gwen to come meet with him. Dressed as the Godssent and flanked by Ivan, Dom, and Faleron, Gwen made her way down to the place Roald had asked her to meet. In the small meeting room Gwen frowned at a very formal type summons that was handed to her.

"Parties are not exactly good places for me to be," Gwen offered when she handed the note to Ivan. "All of those people, roving food and drinks that can be touched by anyone, and I kind of hoped to be left alone this holiday like we did over Midsummer."

"I thought women loved going to parties," Roald informed her, leaning against the conference table.

"Except most women get the excitement of getting a new gown and styling their hair and making themselves up to be extremely beautiful. They don't have a very particular image that has to be maintained. Most women get to dance without worry that the person they are dancing with or are passed to as the dance dictates or the person next to them is not about to kill them." Gwen offered. "I'm afraid it's just not as fun for me as things like this used to be."

"I'd still like you to go. It's been expressed that you should be there as it's the ball over Long Night which is the rebirth of the Sun and a celebration of Mithros. As the Godssent it would mean a lot to have you there." Roald met her eyes and she knew it was more than him asking. It came from a long line of people, perhaps the royal advisors and the King and Roald had just been nominated to deliver the invitation.

"This is going to be a nightmare." Dom muttered after reading the summons himself. "Has Raoul been notified of this? He'll want to have a company on hand just to make sure she lives through the night."

"He's aware and yes, he has Third Company on standby for her."

"I really don't want to do this." Gwen informed Roald. "One hundred men, plus my guards, have to give up their holiday to make sure I don't get myself killed? It feels like such a waste for me to make an appearance for gods that I don't even worship." She held up a hand to stop Roald. "Tell whoever made you ask that I'll do it but it's on them whatever happens."

They left then before Roald could say much else. Only Dom, Faleron, and Ivan heard her muttering about gods that couldn't so much as hear her prayers and royalty that thought themselves smart. She was so wrapped up in her rant that she didn't see the door open next to them and see a formidable woman in her early fifties step out. But she did notice when Ivan stopped dead.

"Ah, Ivan, there you are. Come give your mother a proper greeting." The woman didn't even smile as she addressed her son. Ivan glanced at Dom and broke away from Gwen to go bend over his mother's outstretched hand to kiss the ring she wore. "Come, bring the Godssent. Your brother and father wish to meet her as well."

Dom and Faleron followed Gwen as she walked into the room after the woman and Ivan. Inside of the room was a man in his early sixties who looked stuffy but Gwen could see the twinkle in his eye that Ivan often had and the softness that lurked in his soul whenever one of the small boys in the room laughed. Another man in his early thirties bore a resemblance to Ivan but not Ivan's coloring. While Ivan had blonde hair and blue eyes, this man had reddish brown hair and brown eyes. He sat next to a woman with black hair and hazel eyes who looked over two small boys.

Ivan nodded to his father and then went to embrace his brother and nodded to his brother's wife. Gwen stayed by the door, forgotten about as Ivan's family marveled over his armor, and his mother tutted at the charm that had been pieced through Ivan's ear. When he explained what it was and why he had it, attention turned to Gwen. Ivan's mother and sister in law both stared at her openly while Ivan's brother finally strode forward and took her hand. He bent over her hand and kissed her fingers briefly.

"I am Sir Drault of Merrywood, Ivan's older brother. You can call me Drew as we are to be family."

"Gwen," she gave him a smile.

"Our father is Sir Gilbert of Merrywood, and our mother is Lady Margaret of Merrywood. This is my wife Lady Alnette, and my two sons Gregorry and Jasper." He pointed out those in the room to Gwen. Once she was introduced, Gwen was pulled up next to Ivan as they resorted to the standard family conversation. After all of the news of other relatives was caught up on and the plans the women had for each ball and party they were planning to attend were laid out, and the events that were to take place in the upcoming year were all discussed, Gwen and Ivan made their escape.

"And that's my family," Ivan told her softly when they got down the hall. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"


	31. Chapter 31

If Gwen thought that was her only meeting she would have to sit through for the Midwinter season, she was terribly wrong. Shortly after they returned to her rooms that evening, Lady Margaret and Drew were shown into the room by a harassed looking Faleron. Gwen, completely out of costume and sitting at the table with Kel chipping away at the Yamani letters, was ignored as both of them went right to Ivan. One thing Gwen learned about Lady Margaret right away was she had her opinions and she liked to air them, when the other person was not about at least. She was not subtle about her words either if she believed the person was not around.

"I'm concerned about you marrying that unearthly _thing_. I mean have you really thought this one through? You want your children to come out looking like that? I mean who knows what that scarf on top of her head is hiding? And can you even have children with her? I mean you can breed a donkey and a horse but we all know the mule and hinny cannot bear children of their own. Do you want children who can't produce a line?" While she rambled on, Ivan kept glancing at Gwen who kept her face studious buried in the letter. Drew noticed the direction of Ivan's gaze and stopped his mother before she got too far into the messy mechanics it might take to figure out how to breed her with him. When she followed Drew's very direct point to the small woman discussing letters with the Lady Knight, she frowned.

"She's all human, Mother," Ivan said softly. "A human in a pretty costume and all painted up like she's going to a masquerade. Just like me in my golden armor. It's all for show."

"That's the real her then? She's human? Is she of noble birth?" Lady Margaret asked.

"They don't have ranks like that in the country she comes from in her world," Ivan informed her. "But even if they did have ranks, it doesn't matter here. She's the Godssent. The gods chose her to come here and as their representative she doesn't hold to rank anyway."

"She told the Crowned Prince that his royal order meant nothing to her," Dom informed Lady Margaret and Drew from where he sat reading. "He's been very careful not to personally do something silly enough as to order the Godssent around again."

"But she's living in his palace, with guards given to her by the royal family," Lady Margaret sounded completely appalled and looked as though Gwen had offended her personally. Drew on the other hand looked thoughtful.

"The room in the palace is a gift as Gwen graciously has chosen to make her home in Tortall. It's a blessing on Tortall to have her so the crown makes allowances for her," Faleron explained. "And guards have become necessary as some people in the world do not seem to understand that they anger the gods by hurting their chosen representative. We'd like to keep her alive and the crown would like to keep her alive. If anything it's to gain favor with her and the gods."

"Still in the room," Gwen sighed when she felt a bit awkward. The whole situation had been awkward from Lady Margaret calling her inhuman and her casual discussion of breeding her with Ivan had already struck nerves but talk of the crown gaining favor with her, making her sound like she might be able to be bought, struck a nerve as well. The talk in the room stopped as Ivan crossed over to her and kissed her sweetly on the lips and then on the forehead.

"I can never forget you are in the room," Ivan informed her. "No matter what I am doing you always steal my attention."

"You're a flirt and a charmer. I should have left you with Third Company." Gwen teased him. The simple flirt and tease had left her feeling less edgy and she knew he could tell at least that much. They exchanged one more kiss before Gwen attempted to return to her work and Ivan went back to attempt to soothe over his mother's fears about the strange marriage he had sprung on the family and his new role. Drew and Lady Margaret left after another fifteen minutes or so with only a brief farewell to Gwen and everyone else in the room.

"Charming woman," Dom said after they had been gone long enough for them to be out of hearing. "I suppose you'd be the horse in the situation, Ivan. Gwen would be the donkey. Your children would be hinnies. I think if you have a daughter, you should name her hinny." He waited for the inevitable laugh at least from Ivan before he continued. "Do we need to explain the mechanics of how a baby might be produced so you two know your duty once you marry or should we just let you fumble around and hope something comes of it?"

Gwen didn't even look up from her papers. "Having experienced the mechanics myself I should hope I'm familiar."

"Well it will certainly be different from what Maggur did to you," Ivan informed her. "Though you know that already." She knew he was referring to the nights they didn't go to sleep right away. Already she knew how vastly different the experiences would be.

"I do, but I also wasn't referring to Maggur. I was referring to the fact I've had lovers before coming here. Not many and none of them were all that good at the act." She shrugged and hoped she didn't stun Ivan too much and did enough to protect his ego about her past lovers. It was true, at least, so she wasn't lying to him.

"You mean you had a way to protect yourself from pregnancy back in your world?" Ivan asked sounding a bit more intrigued. Any worries she had that he might take offense to her having lovers before were thrown out of the window as he latched onto the idea she would only have had sex with men if she could keep herself from having a child. And with their official wedding set for Midsummer, she was certain he was searching for a way to be able to not have to wait those six months to do more than they had in the bedroom. Gwen grinned at him and explained about condoms and the pills the women took. It led to a very interesting discussion about sex and protection against pregnancy that went until late at night.

"Do you think there's a way we could get something like that medicine or that sheath thing? I think it might not be a bad idea if you were protected even for a while into our marriage and then after we have children." Ivan asked as they crawled into bed.

"I have a guess at how something like that might be made here but I'm not at all comfortable with the idea. The sheath would be made from something like sheep's intestines and the thought of that somewhat sours the mood for me." She explained as she snuggled in against him. He only agreed with her and said nothing else on the topic as they both drifted off to sleep.

The first part of Midwinter passed smoothly. Gwen made some short rounds during the days and answered the letters that she could, while at night she stayed back in her rooms with Ivan and they did quiet things together while her guards spent time at balls and parties and family functions. Once Drew was cleared by Dom, he came to escort Ivan to several family meals. Gwen always opted to stay back because even between Drew and Ivan she did not have enough guards to leave the room and she would take anyone else's holiday away.

The morning of the day before Longnight, Gwen and Ivan were taken with Seaver, Esmond, Merric, and Faleron to explore the space they would be in for the duration of the ball the following night. The large ballroom was not yet decorated or filled with anything of any kind making the hollow marble room feel much like a walled in version of the Gods' Court, when she mentioned this briefly it earned her the terrified look from Merric, Seaver, and Esmond that said she had done something too out of the ordinary for being dressed down. But Faleron was intrigued and as he had not heard the story of how she met the gods, though Ivan had. He prompted her to start to tell the tale as they waited for Roald, Raoul, Dom, and the sergeants from Third Company to join them. By the time she was finished describing the gods, their court, and the brief meeting she had with them, the others had arrived and were waiting patiently for her to be ready to hear the plans.

"I thought about what you said," Roald told her happily. "You see that balcony way up there?" He pointed to a marbled ledge forty feet above the ballroom overlooking the dance floor. "It's usually used for the musicians so they can play and not be seen or interrupted easily. However, we thought this time we could put two chairs up there and you and Ivan can sit looking out over everyone."

"Like the King and Queen should be doing," Gwen folded her arms.

"They have their own thrones that will be on a dais right about here," Roald went to stand in the place. "Though they don't stay there. They enjoy dancing."

"And where will the musicians go?" Gwen demanded.

"Up on the balcony still. They have all been cleared and they hardly have time to do more than play music. Plus you'll have these four up there with you all night," Roald nodded to the four guards that had accompanied her.

"All four of them? But don't you have lovers to escort?" She turned on her guards. All of them shook their heads.

"We were picked on purpose, Silly," Faleron teased her. After her positioning on the balcony was established and who all would be up there, Gwen listened intently to how Third Company would be positioned and what signals would be used to mark a problem from the floor or a problem from the balcony. After those signals were established, they were done with their preparations for the following night and had to clear out so a horde of servants could prepare the room to celebrate Mithros.

On Longnight, Gwen helped Kel with her gown, hair, and face paint. It did not go unnoticed how she touched tenderly at the pretty sage green silk gown while she only wore breeches and shirt which she would cover with the golden robes of her position at last minute. Ivan had tried fruitlessly to talk her into wearing a gown under her robes. Gwen argued that the gown would hold the robes out at an odd angle and it wouldn't look right. She won the argument with Kel's confirmation the skirts were too much under the robes. Ivan had his own special attire for the evening, at least. Over Ivan's golden armor came the new official tabard of the Godssent: white velvet trimmed in gold cord with her emblem embroidered onto the front and back. It was held in place by the golden belt on his armor.

Before they even left the room, Gwen was informed of the rest of the plans for the evening for what was actually expected of her. Ivan, as her betrothed and hero would be at her side all evening at least. He would not be able to take part in the festivities. When she tried to apologize on him missing out on all of the fun of a holiday at court, Ivan assured her that he was doing exactly what he wished to be doing. Then he kissed her nose and they were escorted to the balcony where they would sit all night above the ballroom.

At first, Gwen twitched every time she felt a guard lean over her to look over the short railing or even look up in her direction from the ground. She made Ivan check every piece of food and every cup of liquid that came up to their small balcony with the bracelet she knew detected poisons and drugs. The musicians, when they did arrive, had her flinching with every sudden movement. But slowly, as the night wore on, she began to relax as nothing remotely exciting happened. Third Company, dressed in parade gear, guarded every entrance, nook, and cranny like pretty statues that tended to flirt with every lady who dared get too close. Her own guards on the balcony were relaxed as nothing seemed to be able to threaten them so well placed above everyone.

From above they watched Dom dance with Kel, Shinko with Roald, and Neal and Yuki. Ivan explained the dances from next to her, telling her the names and describing the steps. Every now and then he'd remind her that just six months before he had taught her the steps to a particular dance. She tried her best to keep herself looking benign and godly while Ivan tried his best to be a heroic statue of a man. She had thought the night would be boring but Ivan made it interesting and her guards did their best to explain the Midwinter celebrations they had known as pages, squires, and before.

The musicians played a full quartet of stringed instruments which Gwen thoroughly enjoyed. She missed music very much and to be so close to where it came from went long ways towards relaxing her. They were not the only ones to note how much she enjoyed the swells in the notes and the soaring sounds. Faleron teased Ivan telling him he would have to learn how to play something just to please the lady.

At Midnight Gwen had been told it would be so very wonderful of her to stand and make some sort of gesture. She had thought long and hard about what would be the right kind of sign to make. They were celebrating the rebirth of the sun and thus the rise of Mithros and his powers. She was side tracked briefly by the thoughts of the Goddess apparently losing powers now until Midsummer where she would start her rise again. Once back on track she thought about what she represented to the people. She was a link to their gods, a reminder that the gods were helping them and wanted to connect with the people that worshipped them.

When the Midnight hour rolled around, King Jonathon gathered the attention of everyone in such an easy but commanding way that Gwen wondered how he had learned to do such a thing and if Roald with his quiet ways would be able to do something similar when he was King. She guessed he had his ways just like Jonathon had his and his grandfather before that. Jonathon addressed his court and then he directed everyone's attention to Gwen. The entire ballroom was silent though it was filled in with people. The musicians next to her put down their instruments and waited. She rose and locked eyes on the disk rather than at the ground and many faces below her. Standing next to the railing made her feel like she would fall. When she had mentioned this to Ivan and her guards, they had assured her that the railing, which only came up under her hip, would be enough to keep her from falling.

She tried hard to think of things that would make her gesture feel like something real. She may not have known the power of Mithros but she certainly knew the power of the sun. Where she came from, winters were like the northern part of Tortall and Scanra. It was winter for five to six months a year. Sometimes it started as early as October and went until May if it was a long season. She held out her hands to the disk, as if she was raising the sun up, remembering the feel of the warmth of the sun in spring time after a long winter. She remembered the warmth, the light, the energy that always filled her very core. The energy the sun gave the plants to begin to grow again filled her heart and she wished a good crop on every seed imaginable. She put the elation of living beings bathing in the warmth of the sun into her open arms. And when she felt the warmth she imagined spread from her, she brought her arms down to her sides and bowed to the disk though the motion led her to lean over the railing and look down at the ground forty feet below. She counted out the length of the bow wanting to give a proper amount of time in the silence and then she started to rise.

There was a cry from behind her and then a sharp pain in her shoulder before she could fully stand. She knew it was only a second of time but so many things happened at once. The edges of her vision went gray as she tipped forward, the railing passed under her hips, and she could hear Ivan calling out her name as she toppled head first to the marble floor forty feet below.


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: A brief Thank You to Kilysa for offering your suggestion. Gratias Ago.

At first, Gwen wondered if she was dead when she woke. The walls were white, the curtains were white, the bedding was white, and everything else was very light colored wood. But she still felt a tremendous amount of pain and certainly if she were dead, she would not feel anything. It had to be an infirmary then. When she looked around again, she noticed the occupied chairs in the room and felt a twinge of guilt that Ivan and Dom were both asleep in hard wooden chairs and neither appeared all that well. Gwen took inventory of her body then. Her right arm was braced and in a sling. Her head throbbed and when she reached up she found a bandage that wrapped around her head. Her right hip hurt like she had smashed it into a corner of a desk but other than that she didn't feel all that bad.

She shifted slightly to try and get a grip with her left hand to push herself up so she could sit. The moment she made any noise by moving, Ivan's eyes fluttered open and he was at her side. His lips moved over hers and then he proceeded to cover every inch of her face with kisses before he returned to her lips.

"It's alright," she told him softly when he stopped kissing her and clung to her, his face pressed into her good shoulder. Then she heard him let out a sniffle and she realized he was crying. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm alright," she told him softly. She heard the door open and close and looked up to see Dom was gone from the room. She wondered briefly if he was giving them privacy or he was going to get his uncle now that he was awake.

"I thought you had broken your neck, and after you had been so adamant that something bad was going to happen. I'm sorry I even had a passing thought you were just being overly nervous," Ivan told her thickly as he pulled back finally. It was odd to see him break his usual smiling calm. He had been upset when he had pulled her out of Scanra but he had not cried that she had been aware of. He had been angry then, not crying.

"Not my neck," Gwen assured him trying to be the calm one. She knew if she was upset by the whole series of events too, she'd be rubbing salt in open wounds. "Just everything else on my right side it seems. Here come over on this side," she patted the other side of the bed and Ivan moved to her left side so she could shift into his arms comfortably and laid back with him. Dom did not come back and Baird did not interrupt them either as Gwen and Ivan both fell back asleep clinging tightly to each other on the small infirmary bed.

It was several days later when Gwen was awake more than a few minutes at a time that she learned the whole the events that had taken place. One of the musicians had attacked her. He must have been inching closer and closer throughout her little gesture and then he had stabbed her in the shoulder. All of her guards and Ivan were as entranced in the feeling of warmth and light that she had somehow managed to invoke that they had been caught unaware. She had toppled over the railing to the ground below and had landed with a fairly sickening crunch. No one believed she was alive after that. By some miracle, Dom reached her almost immediately after she landed and found the pulse that meant she was still living. He had swept her into his arms and had taken off at a run to bring her to the infirmary where something, he wasn't sure what, could be attempted to keep her alive. After examining her completely, Baird had determined Gwen had managed to twist around to take the majority of the impact on her right hip and her right arm, but she had still managed to smash her head against the ground enough for one major concussion.

The concussion left her a bit disoriented. The constant pressure in her head combined with a sudden lack of bodily coordination left her feeling like she was in the wrong brain and body at times. It was discovered fairly quickly Gwen did alright with one or two quiet people in the room but when there were more or when people were loud, she got confused. In order to limit confusion, visitors were kept to a minimum. When she did try and get up to move about her hip caused her a lot of pain on top of the other problems and her arm was easy to bump with caused her even more pain. Baird assured Gwen the symptoms of her concussion would go away with time and her hip and arm would be completely healed within two months at the most. Baird also assured Gwen she would eventually return back to her rooms but she needed to do better with the amount of people before she could be taken out of the infirmary.

It was tradition that the morning after Longnight was when gifts were exchanged and for the most part everyone did exchange gifts but one box remained by each of her guards. They had agreed not to open Gwen's gift until she was well enough to return to her rooms. She was flattered by the gesture but informed her guards it was unnecessary. Ivan hadn't even opened any of his gifts as he had spent only enough time in their rooms to bathe and change clothes each day. The rest of the time he spent with Gwen, doing his best to care for her. She knew he, like the other four guards that were supposed to be watching out for her, felt terrible something had happened that they should have prevented. She made certain every single one of them knew she didn't hold them accountable. By Roald's description of her gesture to the sun disk, everyone had been captivated by the sudden feeling like they were out on a warm summer day.

Roald had only stopped in briefly one time to see for himself that she was alive. He delivered the message that he had brought her clerks and they had besieged her office to remove what letters were in there. She had three clerks all versed in many languages that had all studied her writing style diligently. They would translate all of the letters written in other languages for now and Gwen would be able to read every letter and write a short note about what each reply should say. Then she would be able to review the letters before they went out and edit as needed. Then he told her he would wait until she was better before he sprung his Midwinter gift on her. He hugged her tight before he left, telling her that he was relieved she was alive and he would see her again soon.

It took nearly two weeks for Gwen to be cleared to leave the infirmary though she still couldn't walk the distance to her room. Ivan carried her, cradling her to his chest, still careful of her arm and hip, while Dom and Kel walked on either side of them. They made the walk completely out of uniform and later at night in hopes to avoid being noticed. But Ivan and Dom were easily recognized as Gwen's guards and several servants and guards they passed did stop to ask about her condition. Once it was confirmed she was alive and would be back in action soon, the people left. No one wanted to know more than the Godssent was still there and confirmation from her betrothed and the Captain of her guard was the best source of information. Though Roald had been putting out political fires and tried to put a stop to the rumors of Gwen's death, it seemed the population wanted a more reliable source than the Crown.

When they arrived in their rooms, Ivan frowned at the number of wrapped boxes that filled the sitting room. They ranged from small to large and were stacked in piles that made the space that held all of the guards comfortably seem extremely cramped and small. Ivan took Gwen straight through her office to bed rather than let her see. He did not want her overwhelmed. Much to his dismay their bedroom held piles of gifts as well and Ivan resorted to pulling the bed curtains around to keep Gwen from seeing all of the gifts that had been waiting to be opened by the Godssent.

"What is all of this?" Ivan demanded when Gwen was settled and Dom and Kel had cleared a space in the sitting room to actually sit.

"Midwinter gifts for the Godssent and her betrothed. These are just the ones that have been cleared. There are more that have been labeled dangerous." Dom informed him. "The most important ones are in the piles in the bedroom. The ones piled up by the foot of the bed are from friends. She'll want to open those before she comes out here tomorrow. The rest in the room are from royalty and high ranking nobility from around the world. She can hold off on those for now. Roald wanted to hold off on talking to you and Gwen about his gift until after Gwen's concussion is less of an issue."

In the morning, Ivan handed one gift at a time to Gwen on her bed and stood close enough that if she needed a second hand to get at whatever was inside each box, he was readily available to her. Dom and Kel gave her a dozen roses each made out of a different material ranging from paper at the most inexpensive up to precious metals and gemstones. Faleron and Neal had gone in together to give Gwen a fairly large tin full of some powdered substance she assumed was some kind of tea. After reading the instructions that came with it Ivan let out a whoop and explained it to Gwen.

"It's an herb, that powdered and drunk in a tea twice a day will reduce your chances of getting pregnant. If you start taking it now it should be effective enough by the time you are healed." He told her softly. "If you want, that is."

"Does it say when I need to take it?" Gwen shifted wanting to get at the paper herself.

"Just twice a day, I would assume 12 hours apart. Breakfast and right after dinner?" Ivan thought it out.

"I should take it now then," she told him softly. He took the tin from her and disappeared out into the sitting room to retrieve the tea set she did not use and made up the infusion. It was bitter and Gwen made a face when she drank it but once it was gone she informed Ivan he was worth it.

Other friends gave Gwen jewelry and trinkets they thought would amuse her. Ivan saved his gift for last, handing Gwen a box no larger than the palm of her hand. Inside was a silver ring wrapped in gold leaves that opened to a golden rose at the top. Inside of the rose was an emerald. When Ivan took it from the box and put it on her left ring finger, she found it fit perfectly and raised her eyebrows at him.

"I wanted your betrothal ring to fit." He told her softly. "And some nights you sleep a little heavier than others." Then Ivan addressed his pile of gifts, starting with the long leather box that had his name pressed into the side and the Godssent emblem pressed into the corner. His box, like all of her guards, held a long sword made of the best metal available. While the name slipped her mind, it was stronger than steel and just a little lighter. The blade was silvery and polished to a very high shine. The hilt was wrapped in gold wire and the pummel of Ivan's sword in particular had a light blue crystal that matched his eyes. Under the crossguards, her emblem was pressed into the enamel. The sheath was dark brown leather with her emblem, and his name pressed into it in gold.

"I think it will match your armor nicely," she told him softly when he only stared at it.

"This had to cost a fortune," he told her.

"And it has practical uses, not that I ever want you to have to use it but I'd rather my guards have the best. It keeps me and them alive longer."

"You gave one of these to everyone," Ivan realized she had said her guards and not just her hero. When she nodded he whistled, clearly impressed.

"But yours is a bit special. Only yours has the gold wire hilt and only your box has a second gift tucked inside." She nodded to the box again. He looked inside of the box again and pulled out a small envelop. Inside were the vows she had written, knowing she would never get to say them at a ceremony and knowing that the traditional vows of this world did not bind her to him in anyway by gods or legality. He read them over and then he held her for some time before he helped her into a dressing robe and prepared her for what was in the sitting room.

"You don't have to open them now and you don't have to worry about them. Just think of them as decorations until you are well enough to get at them." Ivan told her as he pulled back the bed curtains to reveal the gifts in the bedroom. Then he carried her out to the sitting room where she whistled at the number of boxes. While she ate breakfast, she looked around at the boxes, her brain focusing in on the possibilities. Before she could say anything about her thoughts, the door opened and Dom stepped into the room followed by her guards, Roald, and Kai.

Kai, it seemed, had been instructed on Gwen's injuries and was very careful of her entire right side as he hugged her tight and thanked her very quietly for the toy bow and toy sword. Gwen informed him he needed to get practicing soon if he was going to be the best knight ever. Then Ivan took Kai to see the pretty sword Gwen had given him back in the bedroom while Roald sat down across from Gwen.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her, blue eyes serious.

"Oh, you know, still a bit like this is not my body or my brain at times." Gwen lowered her eyes to her food. "I'm hoping it all passes very soon so I can get back to work."

"Already thinking of work?" Roald asked a bit sadly.

"Just because I fell off of a balcony does not mean I'm not the Godssent. If I've learned anything from how past situations were handled, it's that the best thing to do is to get back out in front of the people the moment I can because that's what everyone expects. I was nearly dead, too weak to go more than a few feet, and I was only given a few days to rest at a fort before I was tied to a horse and had to pretend to be okay. I've had two weeks to rest since I woke up." She didn't even look up as she said the words. Somewhere next to her she heard a bit of a protest that was muffled almost immediately.

"This is different," Roald tried. "You should rest a while and heal up. We don't need you to overwork injuries where you'll only set yourself back."

"What makes this time different exactly?" She looked up at Roald. "Is it because you saw me get hurt?"

"That's not it," Roald protested. "The gods healed you last time. They don't seem to be doing it this time. We have to be careful with you." His voice raised only enough for her to realize he was a bit distressed.

"The gods did not heal me last time," she told him finally. "I'm not sure who pulled me from this world to one where I could be healed. I never saw anyone and I'm not certain how to go back or why I was healed last time." She set her fork down. "The fact I have injuries does not mean I should not be finding things I can do."

"But you cannot walk or write at the moment," Dom pointed out calmly. "And you get overwhelmed by too much going on at once. We can't really take you from this wing without the effects of your concussion disappearing and I'd rather have you able to walk."

"I'd rather have you better as well. Not to gang up on you but Dom and I get to be protective," Ivan said coming back out into the sitting room carrying Kai. "If you have a hard time distracting yourself from work, I can certainly be of use there." He winked at her causing her to blush.

"Now about these gifts you gave us," Dom put himself in her line of sight. He looked like he was about to chastise her and she waited for it. "Thank you. I hope I never have to use it."

"But if you do, I hope you get in lots of practice." Gwen informed him. "And thank you all for the lovely gifts. Now I have a task I'd like to ask for volunteers for," she grinned widely as she saw eyes turn to her. "I'm going to need help opening all of these gifts."


	33. Chapter 33

Gwen blatantly ignored all protests from Ivan, Dom, and Roald about not working while she was recovering and waited until Dom took Ivan to go get some real practice in with his sword before she sprung her attack on an unsuspecting Owen who was left alone in the room with her.

"I'm bored. Do you know what would make me feel better?" Gwen asked him sweetly when Ivan and Dom had only been gone for only ten minutes. The timing was important because she needed as much time as possible but she needed Ivan and Dom to be gone from the wing completely.

"You want me to go bring Ivan back? It's cute how you can't stand to be away from him for more than a quarter of an hour." Owen did not look up from his book as he teased her. She smiled knowing that she would have to be blunt with him so he couldn't avoid her too much.

"I was thinking you should go get those clerks, actually. The ones Roald has working on those letters for me? I'd like to get the ball rolling again." She met his eyes when he looked up a bit shocked. Everyone knew Gwen was not supposed to be working at all. Yet Owen was a bit nervous with her as it was. She was still some awe inspiring being that he was supposed to do practically anything for. And yet Dom was technically in charge of him and Dom said she wasn't supposed to work. Of course Gwen knew the debate going on in his mind. He was uncomfortable.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Owen informed her. "Roald, Dom, and Ivan would all have my head."

"They aren't here. I am," Gwen informed him calmly. She kept her gaze intense on his, refusing to blink.

"Gwen, you're supposed to be healing. Your betrothed, the Crowned Prince, and the Captain of your guard have all ordered that," Owen tried again but Gwen didn't care.

"The Gods ordered me to do my work. Do you want to keep me from my work?" She asked sweetly.

"Fine, but if they come down on someone, I'm directing them to you." Owen broke. She didn't expect him to keep fighting once she mentioned she was sent by the gods and she was being kept from her work.

"I'll take any blame," Gwen assured him. Owen left and sent Faleron in his place while he ran an important errand for the Godssent. If Faleron suspected she had sent Owen out for her clerks, he showed no sign of it as he kept her company. He did frown when Owen returned with the three people in Gwen's employment but Gwen only raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to question her.

"You'll quit if you get tired, right?" He asked her.

"I promise," Gwen grinned at him. She was quite happy in her situation now and settled in to listen to the letters being read to her one at a time and spoke her responses to each clerk. Faleron and Owen stayed with her to watch and make sure she really did quit if she showed any sign of being tired. By the time Gwen had managed to get through twenty letters or so, Dom and Ivan returned. She didn't even notice as she closed her eyes to focus in on the contents of the letters and her words.

"Has she been at this long?" Dom whispered to Faleron. Faleron held a finger to his lips and nodded to the door so Gwen didn't get distracted.

"About an hour and a half. She promised to stop if she got tired." He said once they got outside of the door. Dom only nodded.

"Did she break you or Owen?"

"Owen, but I'm certain she ordered him," Faleron grinned. "She's probably been waiting for you to leave her alone with him. Out of all of us, you know he'd break first. She knew that too."

"I don't doubt it." Dom chuckled. "I figured she'd try something."

"You did this on purpose," Faleron realized.

"Right now it's only a matter of finding out if she's going to push her limits," Dom went back inside to see the clerks packing up. "All done?" He asked them.

"Not even close. It's a wonder she went this long without clerks. But the lady is tired. She said she might be able to do some more tomorrow." One of the clerks nodded back to where Ivan had taken the place next to Gwen and was peppering her face in kisses.

"Did he give the order or did she?" Dom asked a little quieter.

"She did. She didn't even see him until after she said something." The clerk confirmed before he left the room.

Since she managed it for nearly an hour and a half she was allowed to have the clerks come back the next day and the next and the next. In order for her to get her work done in a quiet environment, only one guard was allowed in the room with her while she worked. Anyone else had to find something else to do. Ivan often retreated to Gwen's study or their bedroom while Dom sat with her.

Two full weeks after she had been brought back to her rooms, she was able to at least hobble by herself from the bedroom to the sitting room and she had pushed her time with the clerks to two full hours each day. By the time Baird came with Roald to check in with her after a month, Gwen was able to shed the sling her arm was in and was allowed to start exercises to strengthen it.

"Gwen, I have something to discuss with you and Ivan about your wedding, privately," Roald told her after Baird had left. "Ivan," he looked for the man to find him already coming to help Gwen to her feet. They went into Gwen's office where Roald produced a sheaf of papers that Gwen recognized as the drawings of wedding gowns. "I need to know which you want." He told her calmly.

"I'm wearing my robes," Gwen informed him. "It's what is expected. The Godssent needs to look like the Godssent."

"Are you thinking under her robes?" Ivan asked as he looked to Roald. "Though the robes might not sit right."

"No not under her robes." Roald shook his head and looked directly at Gwen. "I thought you might like to wear your robes for the public ceremony but don't you want a gown for your real wedding?" Roald asked softly.

"Real wedding?" Ivan asked when Gwen could only stare confused at Roald.

"A few days before Midsummer, the actual anniversary of your arrival in this world. Then the public ceremony on Midsummer as the anniversary of when you were brought before the people. Think of it as my Midwinter gift to the two of you." Roald pointed to the drawings again. "Which one?"

Gwen, still silent from her gratitude, took the drawings and turned so Ivan could not see what she was picking out. She extracted a drawing out of the center, folded it, and handed it to Roald, blushing it as she did so.

"I'll take this to Kel's Lalasa. I'm sure she'll want to meet and discuss the construction. I also need to get a list of who you want to attend your real wedding, details of what you would like, flowers… colors…" Roald drew it out.

"It's something I think we'll have to discuss between the two of us. We'll write down what we decide and make sure it gets to you soon," Ivan told Roald. "I still have a little more time before she can move fast enough to escape me."

"Hey," Gwen smacked his arm playfully. The motion drew Roald's eye to the ring Gwen wore.

"Is that the betrothal ring?" Roald nodded to her hand. She blushed and held out her hand for Roald to see. "Beautiful." He assured her. "I expected no less since I know he searched a long time for that."

"He's an amazing and sneaky man. I'm very lucky." Gwen turned to smile at Ivan. "He truly is my hero."

"So you are cleared to start strengthening your arm and walk about a bit more. Are you going to try and escape these rooms more now?" Roald teased her.

"I won't be able to go _that_ far. It still hurts to walk too much and knowing me, I'll get myself someplace and won't be able to walk back. It's not exactly dignified for the Godssent to be stuck halfway across the palace and have to ask her guards to carry her back." Gwen shrugged. "Another week, or more likely two. Certainly before Kel and Dom get married next month I'll be up and about."

"About that, we need to discuss added safety measures in your rooms since Dom is moving out and Ivan is technically supposed to be under guard as well." Roald took a seat on the edge of the desk while Ivan pulled Gwen down to sit on his lap on her chair. It was going to be a long talk if it was about adding safety measures to already fairly secure rooms.

Roald was gone before dinner leaving Ivan and Gwen to start discussing the details of their wedding. They kept themselves locked up in Gwen's office to avoid any extra opinions. Gwen had heard enough extra opinions as Kel and Dom discussed what they wanted for their wedding. Neal was especially opinionated but so was Owen and surprisingly Merric. Gwen had told them multiple times during any planning she heard going on to save it for their own weddings, though Neal was already married and Owen had giving up all control of wedding to his future bride Margarry of Cavall.

Gwen and Ivan only shared the happy news with Dom and Kel after all of the other guards had gone back to their rooms that night. The rest they decided would only find out when they received invitations. To celebrate, Dom and Ivan broke their rule of not drinking and poured small glasses of wine for the four of them. While Gwen didn't drink, she still took the glass thinking it couldn't possibly be as bad as she remembered. Once the liquid hit her tongue she couldn't stop Ivan and Dom from laughing outright as she involuntarily made the most childish disgusted face. Even Kel broke her mask to chuckle slightly.

"Is that your reaction to all alcohol or just wine?" Dom chuckled while she guzzled cider to try and kill the taste.

"All alcohol I'm afraid. It tastes like burning," Gwen shuddered. It was exactly as bad as she remembered.

"I suppose that's something to keep in mind. The Godssent can't stand the taste of liquor." Ivan teased. "So much for trying to get you drunk to see how silly you are when you aren't guarded."

"Well I think I'm going to go to bed," Gwen said pushing her still mostly full glass of wine towards Ivan. Then she stood, gave a wave good night, and hobbled towards her study. Ivan wasn't far behind her.

"I was thinking we could celebrate a little differently, if you are feeling up to it." He whispered in her ear as he helped her with the ties on her shirt and breeches.

"Are you suggesting we put that disgusting tea a little test?" Gwen felt her breath hitch as Ivan's hands edged her breeches down.

"If you want it, and you think I won't damage you any further or set your healing back at all," Ivan murmured in her ear as he nipped at her ear.

"Well we won't know if we don't try." She whispered playfully and turned to face him to help him out of his shirt. The ties on his breeches would have to be something he would need to do without her help. She would need both hands for that and her right hand was still a little slow to respond on its first day free of the sling. When they were both free of every last stitch of clothing, Ivan scooped her up and carried her to the bed to try and enjoy Gwen fully for the first time since they had started to share a bed.

Somewhere just after dawn, Ivan woke and became aware that he and Gwen were not alone in the bedroom and it unnerved him. Not only had he locked the door after he and Gwen had made love but neither he nor Gwen were wearing any clothing and were barely covered as it was. Gwen was still asleep against him though she was normally awake by this time. Ivan shifted slightly to look behind him at the occupied chair in front of Gwen's vanity. For a moment he swore he saw the mage from Scanra but when he turned to look more fully it was only a very amused Faleron.

"I'm curious what had you looking for a moment like you might have to kill me," Faleron whispered.

"Well for one, that door was locked for a very good reason." He shifted the blankets to hide Gwen a bit better before he sat up. "For two… it's still dark enough to mistake you for someone neither Gwen nor I wish to see again." Ivan muttered and shifted to see if his breeches were anywhere close to the bed. They weren't as he and Gwen had stripped somewhere close to the door rather than in bed like they normally did when they played around. "Why exactly are you in our bedroom right at the crack of dawn?"

"Roald wants a word and apparently I'm expendable," Faleron flashed a grin.

"With both of us or…" Ivan saw Faleron shaking his head.

"With you. He doesn't want to wake Gwen unless it's necessary," he stood to leave and stopped to look back at Ivan. "I think it's something bad, he's been here since before dawn with Dom and Kel and now that the sun is coming up he's gathering all of her guards. Every instinct tells me you should wake her and she shouldn't be left alone."

"Roald didn't think it was necessary yet," Ivan sat up a little straighter.

"I'm not exactly comfortable leaving her asleep and without a guard," Faleron admitted.

"Alright, we'll be out shortly." Ivan waited until Faleron left and then woke Gwen. He did not wake her with kisses. He didn't want her believing he was waking her for a second round. His senses were on high alert after Faleron's subtle warning something might be up. Gwen seemed to key into this instantly and listened to Ivan's version of the conversation with Faleron as she found her clothes and dressed. He armed himself and made sure Gwen had her own daggers before he left her in his office. He made sure to lock the door between her office and the hallway, just in case some sort of intrusion came from the balcony again, before he went out to join the other guards in the sitting room.

"What's all this about?" Ivan said leaning on the doorframe of the office after he closed that door. It did not go unnoticed that he was wearing a jerkin and his weapon's belt.

"You look like you're ready for a fight," Roald said, suspicion leaking into his voice.

"Just after dawn meetings with all of the guards assigned to my betrothed does not exactly bring good feelings," Ivan admitted. "Once again, what is this about?"

"We've had word from Scanra," Roald sighed. "Maggur might have a new trick up his sleeve." He nodded to Ivan. "There have been several inquiries into who exactly is the Godssent's Hero and also the Captain of the Godssent's Guard as well as several others. Myles thinks that Maggur is looking into who he can use to control Gwen." There was silence in the full sitting room.

"He couldn't control her with spells and potions. He couldn't control her with imprisonment and torture. He's going to control her with her love," Neal whispered in horror.

"Exactly. And I fear that may actually work on her." Roald sighed.

"Who else is on the list?" Ivan demanded knowing that Gwen would probably crumble if anyone's life was offered in her place but who did Maggur think was so very important to her.

"Myself and my son," Roald whispered. There was a gasp that went around his friends. To even imply a threat to the line for the Tortallan Crown was enough for war in itself.

"Gwen would give herself over to ensure the safety of anyone on that list," Faleron ventured.

"Gwen would give herself over for the lowliest of people if he threatened them to control her," Dom informed him. "Any idea who is first on the list?"

"You, Dom," Roald explained. "Then Ivan," his voice caught as he tried to go through the list. "Myles and George think that I'd be last on the list because it's a way of controlling me as well if I have to watch Kai be hurt or killed."

"Gwen would kill herself before she let any of us take the fall for her," Ivan stopped them.

"Well, we need to make plans in case he tries a grab for any of us," Roald nodded for Ivan to sit down and when he didn't move his eyes narrowed. "Gwen is in her office, isn't she?"

"I wasn't about to leave her three lockable doors away from me when I feel there's a threat." Ivan folded his arms. "I'd rather stay right here in case she needs someone."

"Okay, here's what I've been thinking." Roald started and pulled out a sheaf of papers with plans on them and passed them around. It was the beginning to a meeting that lasted most of the day. After half an hour, Gwen stopped pretending she couldn't hear them and called through the door suggesting they bring in the Spymasters as well as Raoul and Numair. With that Gwen was pulled into the meeting and the others were sent for.


	34. Chapter 34

The added security measures included mage traps all over the entire wing and in Roald and Kai's rooms, guards that sat outside of Kai and Roald rooms at night, and guards that would patrol the wing in which Gwen and her guards resided wearing clothing that made anyone that looked at them forget they had even seen them. Even Gwen's guards often missed the guards that walked the corridor at night but Gwen was absolutely immune to the magic that kept the guards unnoticeable. She was supposed to be the one to sing out if she didn't see them.

The added security measures did not stop them from continuing their daily routines so they did not tip off Maggur that they were wise to his possible plan. While they continued daily routines, they did not allow themselves to be comfortable in the least. They checked in with each other constantly. Roald checked in every morning after breakfast in Gwen's room to do his own head count. Protection measures were spread to all of Gwen's guards just in case Maggur went for an easier grab.

Kel and Dom still went ahead with the plans for their wedding and true to her guess, Gwen was able to walk fairly painlessly in her Godssent outfit to the chapel of Mithros in which Kel and Dom would be united. Gwen herself would have no place in the ceremony but she did have a place of honor up in the very front room with Ivan seated on Dom's side of the chapel next to his family. While Dom and Kel made their vows of love and eternity together, Gwen felt eyes on her rather than on the couple. She expected this from Dom's family seated next to her. His mother and siblings who were very focused on status were in awe of his job as her captain. She kept her eyes forward on Dom and Kel wanting to show what was really important: Dom and Kel's love and commitment.

Ivan wove his own gold-armored fingers between hers and she knew he was thinking of their own wedding in three short months. They had written up all of their ideas. Their guest list was made, including all of Third Company as well as Eric, the dedicated servants that worked in their wing and Chief, and key nobles that made a difference to Ivan and Gwen. They even spoke with the only priestess brave enough to officiate for them both in the public and private ceremony. Gwen had met with Lalasa and had left that meeting feeling far more confident she was getting something she really wanted.

When the ceremony was over, Gwen and Ivan made sure to find their way into the receiving line so they could give their wishes of long and happy lives. Dom's family was behind her and Ivan went in front of her, shaking hands with Dom and Kel. Gwen chose to be less dignified as she threw her arms around Dom in a tight hug and then Kel.

"I know you two will be happy together," Gwen informed them. "And Dom, you'll always be the closest thing I've known to a real brother." She hugged Dom again who returned her hug with just as much strength, before she made her way over to join Ivan and the rest of her guards.

"I think my aunt will be gaping for some time," Neal nodded the woman that had been behind Gwen in line. She was barely containing her shock as she spoke with her son and new daughter-in-law.

"She'll live," Gwen shrugged. "Now, should we find our seats in the banquet hall before this crowd gets moving?"

Dinner was amazing and Gwen enjoyed her place seated with Neal, Yuki, Karin, Ivan, Baird, Wilina, and because Gwen needed an extra guard at her table, Faleron. Baird and Wilina had no problem including Gwen, Ivan, and Faleron in the conversation as if they were part of the family and by the end of dinner Gwen was feeling quite accepted though she looked like some outlandish creature.

The next part of the night was a ball to celebrate the very popular couple. While dances made her nervous, Gwen decided to stay because Dom and Kel were important but she didn't want to be more than two feet from a guard at any time and with nearly two thirds of the guests as warriors dedicated to protecting anyone the crown saw important to protect, she wasn't all that far from anyone trained to take down an assassin. She did plan to stay seated at a table all night rather than hit the dance floor, though Ivan had been walking her through the steps as part of a way of exercising her hip. It also had been a way in preparing for their own wedding in which Ivan insisted Gwen would dance at even if he and she were the only two dancing. Gwen found herself sitting in the ballroom with the same people she had sat with at dinner and enjoyed it. Kel and Dom graced the dance floor first and then the family was expected to join them on the second song. When Neal and Yuki rose to go, Baird turned to Gwen.

"Wilina has a hard time dancing as her arthritis gives her a bit of trouble. I know Dom has considered you his sister for some time, might I ask you to join me for this dance?" When she hesitated he smiled at her. "I'm a fairly competent mage. If anyone so much as tries to come after you, they'll wish I was only a healer."

"It would be an honor," Gwen informed him and took his offered hand. Dom and Neal seemed completely unsurprised by her presence on the dance floor but once again Dom's family could not hide their looks towards her. Gwen didn't have a chance to notice if anyone else stared as the music started and Baird started to lead her in the steps. Baird exuded a sense of calm and confidence that Gwen couldn't help but pick up on. Once she was comfortable in the steps he asked her about medicines in her world and they got into a lively conversation about the compacting of the healing properties of herbs into a small pill form.

"She really is at home on the dance floor, isn't she?" Roald asked coming to take up Gwen's empty place next to Ivan and Faleron. Wilina had taken Karin to go speak with a friend across the hall.

"I told you she likes to dance," Ivan shrugged. "She just didn't know these dances until we worked on them a bit."

"You've been teaching her to dance?" Faleron asked. It was not something he had shared with the other guards. It was always at night or in the morning in the bedroom without anyone to witness. Not only did he enjoy teaching her, he enjoyed the intimacy that came with dancing.

"It's been a good way to exercise her hip," Ivan shrugged.

"How did Baird get her out on the dance floor? I thought she was worried about attackers on the dance floor." Roald saw how Gwen's face was alight while she and Baird danced and talked.

"He threatened magical pain on anyone coming at her with less than noble notions," Faleron informed the Prince. Roald nodded his understanding. While magic couldn't touch Gwen, it could certainly touch her enemies. Baird may be the realm's Chief Royal Healer but he also could cause just as much pain as he could heal. All too soon the song was over and Dom claimed Gwen before anyone else could so much as think of moving to get her. It was one of the faster paced songs and even under the layer of face paint Gwen wore to keep her features obscured, it was clear she was flushed with the amount of fun she was having.

After that song was done, Gwen made her way off of the dance floor and made a beeline for Ivan. Her eyes were still sparked with the thrill of dancing as she greeted Roald and took her seat.

"You aren't going to dance with Ivan now that you've discovered the dance floor is safe?" Roald teased her.

"The dance floor isn't necessarily safe. It's still easy for someone to attack me out there, which is why I can't just stay on the dance floor. If I do go back out, it will have to be after a wait in order to break any sort of pattern I seem to have." She shrugged and turned to address Ivan. "I would like to steal a dance with my betrothed tonight if it's not too bothersome."

"You could not keep me from asking," Ivan informed her. "Though I'll claim more dances once we are all alone in our rooms tonight." He kissed her nose playfully.

"So you are planning on enjoying not having those extra eyes on you all of the time," Roald teased quietly.

"It will be a change. I've lived with Dom in my rooms since nearly the beginning and Kel not that long after that." Gwen shrugged. "But it will be nice to have a little more privacy. Just a touch more privacy." What she didn't say out loud in case anyone was listening was that every single guard had keys to her rooms.

"What are you planning on doing with the extra bedroom now?" Faleron inquired.

"We were thinking of moving my office in there for now, leaving where my office is current for open space until we have a need of it." Gwen glanced at Ivan. They had been talking more and more about the possibility of children and how they would rearrange the suite to better maintain a family. It wasn't as if they planned to have children right away in marriage but now that she and Ivan had started testing exactly how effective that tea was, Gwen had a nagging concern that it may not have been enough. It had been Ivan's brilliant plan to eventually turn her current office into a nursery when the time came. But there was no need to worry Roald with the thought of her being pregnant or adding one more life to the list of people that needed to be under constant guard. Her mind tuned back in to the conversation in time to hear Ivan throw in his two coppers.

"And, of course, the further her office is away from the bedroom, the more I hope she can leave work behind and actually sleep at night rather than worry about all she is not getting done." She stuck her tongue out at him, forgoing all notions she was in costume and supposed to be appearing somewhat godly.

"Well don't wait until the very end to claim your dance," Roald cautioned. "More people leave before the end and it would be nice to keep the number of warriors at a maximum just in case." With that he turned and left.

People trickled over to the table to talk, mostly those she was close to. Briefly Dom and Kel came to join them before being pulled away again. Then after an hour, Ivan touched Gwen's hand to get her attention from her conversation with Yuki to ask her to dance. As the music started, Gwen let everything melt away and her eyes were only on Ivan. They could have been alone in the ballroom for all she cared as they started the steps of a slow waltz. They were alone on the dance floor as the other couples stepped aside to watch the Godssent and her Hero dance. As the song ended Gwen stepped back to sweep a curtsey to Ivan, barely concealing the pain that the motion caused in her not quite fully healed hip. He noticed, he always did even if the wince was internal. He pulled her off of the dance floor without a second thought and when Roald came to ask for a dance Ivan shook his head.

"She's done for the night." He tried to explain softly. If Gwen heard Roald ask for a dance, she'd feel obligated to go out on the floor and would hurt herself further.

"You didn't stop her from dancing with Baird or Dom," Roald frowned at the man in front of him. "Why am I any different?"

"It's only the timing Roald. She's still injured and that last dance hurt her. I don't want to push her any further than she's already been pushed today. In fact," he said a little louder so Gwen could hear. "Maybe it's best we retire for the night so everyone else can celebrate without concentrating on us."

"I think that sounds like a good plan," Gwen joined them. "If there is a guard ready to go back with us. If not, we'll just have to wait. I don't want to drag anyone away from the festivities if they are enjoying themselves."

"I'll walk back with you," Roald told them. "I could use a break. No, don't look at me like that. I am a knight you know, and a mage." He shook his head at both Gwen and Ivan's hesitation.

"I don't mean to be rude about it," Gwen explained, "it's just I'm so used to the others being my guards and not you. We'd be happy to have you join us on our walk back."

They left Faleron with the message they were leaving so someone knew where they had gone and then took the long walk back to their rooms. When the door closed behind Roald, Gwen stopped to look around. It was a reality now that these rooms belonged to her and Ivan alone. There would not be another guard with them. Ivan seemed to sense her thoughts and gave her an encouraging nudge towards the bedroom as he assured her he was going to be the only guard she would ever need and if she didn't feel safe enough, Neal's bedroom was on the other side of the wall from her head at night and would hear if she made enough noise.

With her costume officially retired for the night and after a nice long bath to soothe her sore muscles, Gwen reflected on the day. She had gone out to an event and not been forced into the center of attention; she had even attended a ball and danced without anyone threatening to kill her. For the first time since she arrived it had not been about her and the focus had not been directed solely on her except for the dance with Ivan, but that had been something planned. No, for the first time since Gwen had arrived in this world, something had gone quite normal. It gave her hope for her own private wedding where she wanted to be just Gwen and not Gwen the Godssent. And as she thought about how happy she was with the private parts of her life, she caught Ivan's eye on her and the look he was giving her. They would not be sleeping any time soon if he could do anything about it.


	35. Chapter 35

Nightmares so rarely were part of her dreams anymore. With Ivan holding her close each night she didn't doubt he was the one chasing all of the bad dreams away. So it was very rare indeed that she dreamed of Maggur or his tortures at all when Ivan was there with her. It was even more rare that this dream was so vivid and real feeling as she dreamed Maggur was on top of her, raping her in the more gentle way he had done the first time when she had been compliant, but nonetheless raping her. Then suddenly it clicked that this was too real, this wasn't just a dream. Her eyes snapped open and for just a moment she was convinced the man on top of her was Maggur.

Ivan stopped mid-motion on top of her at the look of fear on her face as she looked at him. It wasn't uncommon, since they had stopped restraining themselves, that he would attempt to wake her for some fun in the middle of the night or very early morning. Very slowly, Ivan moved to the side of her and wrapped his arms back around her to kiss her and assure her that everything was alright. His attempts to soothe her fears made very little difference as for the first time in a long time, Gwen started to cry against him. It was soft at first but as she tried to calm herself it only seemed to get worse. Still she was fairly quite so as not to alarm Neal on the other side of the wall. The walls were not paper thin as they were stone but a loud noise would be heard through the wall if one was listening.

She was stressed; Ivan was too but not as much as Gwen. With their weddings only a month away things were starting to get insane. And with Maggur still coiled like a snake ready to strike, everyone else was a bit on edge as well. Gwen felt everyone's anxiety, especially Roald's as he checked in with them each morning, afternoon, and night. On top of that the letters kept coming. Gwen's work with the clerks was never really done but they managed to get more done each day in the same amount of time without the work load ever ceasing. High ranking people were already starting to arrive for the public wedding and Ivan's family returned for both weddings. They spent every day meeting with someone important, hearing well-wishers, offering advice, receiving advice on marriage. Some nights both of them were so tired of talking or hearing people talk, they would spend the time alone after dinner in complete silence. Not to say it was uncomfortable silence. They had ways of letting each other know it was nothing personal and with little touches and looks they knew what each other wanted as well.

Sometimes when an extra guard was in the room with them at this time, it was commented on. Neal often referred to their room at night as blanketed in silence and joked that they would work well in a military setting with how well they communicated nonverbally. Both of them had mastered moving absolutely noiselessly through their own suites. It served a dual purpose of not breaking the quiet and distinguishing the difference between the people who lived in the suite and those who did not. Every time they heard heavy footsteps or something bumped into it had been a guard but they wanted to make sure it would also be a way to distinguish intruders. Half of the time Gwen viewed Neal and certain other guards such as Cleon or Merric as intruders with as annoying as they were.

When the sun rose, Ivan was still awake. Gwen had cried herself to sleep over two hours before but it had left him feeling terrible and unable to sleep. She hadn't told him what sort of nightmare left her looking at him like he was attacking her but it wasn't hard to guess. He thought back, every other time she had been awake enough to see it was him and not anyone else. But this time she was so tired that she had woken only briefly when he kissed her awake and had fallen back asleep before he could do anything. He hadn't thought it would be a problem, after all she had given him permission to wake her up with a tumble. But he would still have to find a suitable way to apologize for terrorizing her and he vowed he would never touch her unless she was fully aware again.

When Ivan heard the noises that meant someone else was in their suite, he shifted out of bed, pulled on breeches, and tiptoed out of the bedroom. Gwen needed a rest away from everyone and their anxieties as well as a rest away from work. When Ivan opened the door between the hallway and the office, he came face to face with a very white Roald.

"Oh thank Mithros," Roald breathed out when he saw Ivan. It was rare that Gwen and Ivan were both missing from the sitting room at breakfast time. When Ivan followed Roald out into the sitting room he found Dom already there with Neal, Faleron, and Kel, all dressed as if they expected to guard the two of them again for some meeting or another. It was the usual plan and he knew that they had no way of knowing that Gwen had spent the better part of the night sobbing uncontrollably. Ivan also knew if Gwen knew they were out in the sitting room expecting her, she would get up, and get dressed, and follow them to whoever she had to meet for the day without a second thought about her own mental and emotional state. Before Ivan could think of anything else, his mouth opened.

"Gwen isn't going anywhere today." All eyes turned to look at him.

"Is she ill?" Dom asked quietly. All of them knew Gwen had to ride out whatever illnesses she picked up though she was so very rarely ill enough to keep her from her work.

"Not exactly, but she probably will be if we all keep going at this rate," Ivan sighed, not wanting to explain himself too much because he didn't want to let them in on the particular circumstances that led him to this discovery. "Gwen is stressed and not just with her own stress, our stresses as well. She feels everything and it's been eating away at her like a cloud of poison." He expected to hear some sort of inquiry into Gwen's real condition but no such thing came as the room fell silent after his words.

"She should have a rest. Goddess knows since she recovered from her injuries that she hasn't even taken Sundays to try and relax." Dom decided finally, stood, and signaled for Kel and Faleron to follow suit. "Let me know if there is anything I, or any of us, can do," with that he made his way to the door and led the other guards out. Roald stayed still and met Ivan's eyes even after Dom, Kel, and Faleron were completely gone.

"If Gwen is the one who is so very stressed, why do you appear so traumatized?" He nodded to the abandoned chairs and took a seat expecting Ivan to do the same. He didn't really want to sit down and explain his private life to the Crowned Prince. He did not have the same relationship with Roald that Gwen did, but he knew that he still saw Roald as his future king while Gwen saw him as an equal. It was easier to pretend Roald was an equal when Gwen was around. But this was too much and all he wanted to do was get back to Gwen and make sure she was alright. He did not want her waking without him there.

"She had a rough night." He backed towards the door to her office. "I need to go keep an eye on her. She has nightmares when I'm not with her." He turned and went back through the office, closing every door between him and the sitting room willing each of them to be a barrier against the emotions of others and willing his own anxieties to calm with each door he closed. This bedroom was their place away from terror and fear. This bedroom was supposed to be a place of peace, and love, and pleasure.

"Ivan?" Gwen sat up in bed when he came back in. Her voice was little more than a croak though it was hard to tell if it was from sleep or because she had cried so long. When he faced her he could still see the tear tracks on her face, the puffiness that often came with crying, and the confused look that crossed her face as she guessed at the time or why he had left her side.

"Let's go back to sleep," Ivan told her calmly, pulling the curtains over the windows to block out the light. He expected some sort of argument from Gwen as she always at least questioned what he had done to get them extra sleep or she complained she wasn't getting things done. But today she waited until he stripped and crawled back under the covers without saying a word. She kept quiet as she pulled herself against him and wrapped his arms back around her body firmly. There was no argument and no doubt she was aware he was not the Scanran King. It was enough to ease his fears and he set about attempting to ease Gwen's with kisses and a massage. When she was relaxed enough to sleep, he was finally able to catch up on the sleep he had missed overnight.

Ivan woke as Gwen slipped out of his arms in the afternoon. He complained and pulled her back in, making her collapse on top of him. He wanted nothing more than to tell her how sorry he was and at the same time he wanted to avoid bringing it up altogether. If she didn't want to remember, he didn't want to force her. But he needed to placate his own guilt.

"It's after midday. I've missed breakfast and midday. If you don't let me go and find food, I'm liable to wither away." Gwen told him calmly when he could only stare at her. Of course Gwen was going to be the sensible one.

"Alright, but wait for me. Someone needs to make sure you don't attempt to work," he let her go and sat up. She only rolled her eyes at him and went to dress comfortably while he pulled on his clothes from earlier. He left Gwen in the sitting room while he went across the hall to grab Dom. If he wasn't Gwen's well known hero or on Maggur's list of people that could be used to control Gwen, he would have had no second thoughts going to find food for the two of them himself. Instead he would have to make the request of Dom who in turn would probably find a servant to deliver the request to.

"I was wondering when you two would get up," Dom teased him when he opened the door to Ivan's knocking. Briefly Ivan explained that Gwen was starving and that a starving Godssent was bad for everyone. Dom agreed and told Ivan not to worry about it; it would be taken care of in no time. They just need to relax.

Relaxation was not exactly on the menu as the maid that brought them midday was followed very shortly by Drew, Alnette, Gregorry, and Jasper. Ivan understood that his brother wanted to solidify that the bonds of family were important to the Merrywoods. He also understood that his brother felt Gwen needed to be reminded she was becoming part of a true family. It was fine when Drew came and brought the boys because Gwen actually enjoyed Drew's company and she loved children but Ivan hated that he brought Alnette. Merrywood was an old fief but they weren't more than Lords and only in the Book of Silver. Alnette had come from a family from the Book of Gold and considered it to be a blessing on the Merrywoods she had even agreed to marry below her status and grant their bloodline with her superior genes. Drew could easily ignore her snootiness but Ivan never could. And Alnette seemed to save a special resentment for the fact he was outdoing Drew's acquisition with his own divine being. Not that he wanted her for her bloodline, the extremely high honor of marry a divine creature, or because she was the Godssent. He wanted her only because she was the most wonderful woman. And that Gwen refused to acknowledge Alnette's status as anything important. The tension that Alnette caused in the room often left Gwen a bit drained.

But Gwen didn't let Alnette phase her as she decided to let the boys play with her face paints and let them paint her face up. Ivan, Drew, and Alnette watched from the other side of the room as Gwen asked pointed questions to the boys to try and get them to tell her a story about the person they were painting her up to be.

"She'll be a great mother someday," Drew commented as Gwen settled easily into playing pretend with his sons.

"That is if you ever find a way to get her pregnant. Everyone knows you've shared her bed for a long time." Alnette sneered. "Maybe your mother was right and you will never beget an offspring with her." Ivan chose to ignore his sister in law and turned to his brother.

"Maybe in a year or two we will start trying for children of our own, but things aren't stable right now. Maggur is a constant threat to her and to me and certainly to any future children we have. But you are right, she will be a great mother. I've seen that when she was tasked with Prince Kaito's care while Roald and Shinko were awaiting the birth of Jadelyn. Jadelyn is named after Gwen you know." Ivan said proudly.

"Yes because Jadelyn and Gwen sound so much alike," Alnette rolled her eyes.

"Gwen is only part of her name. Her full name is Gwendolyn Jade Lumen."

"Take her middle name and the end off of her first name and you get our princess. Interesting." Drew barely contained his amusement. "You, dear brother, speak of Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami like they are friends rather than your future monarchs."

"You know, just this morning I was dwelling on that. It's some effect Gwen has on me. When she's about all status disappears whether you are a maid or a prince. When she's not around though, it gets awkward trying to see him as a close friend." Ivan shrugged. "Are you going to let the boys go for knighthood?"

"Gregorry at least. You know he'll be two years ahead of Prince Kaito in training and if Jasper wants to try he'll be in Kaito's year."

"Maybe we should introduce them to Kai? He could use some friends his own age." Gwen called. "I'm sure no one survives page training without friends. No one really gets far in life without friends."

"I'm sure it would be difficult to arrange a meeting with the Crowned Prince's son," Alnette, for once, looked eager at Gwen's offer. To be a friend of the future king, no matter how distant future, was a good place to be.

"I could see what can be done. Roald is usually here once more before we retire for the night. Though I'm not sure if he'll be coming back today since I have a feeling Ivan told him to go away this morning." Gwen smiled at Ivan. "And of course, at the latest they will meet at the wedding. That's only a month away."

"Are you ready?" Drew asked.

"Is anyone ever really ready?" Gwen mused. "I mean, I have no doubts in my mind I'm ready commit myself to Ivan before our friends and your gods but is anyone ever really truly ready for their own wedding?"

"Seems like I just blinked and the time went from six months down to one," Ivan admitted. "Good thing Roald is taking on the bulk of the leg work for the planning or we'd never get any rest."

"You remember our wedding," Drew told Ivan. To Gwen he turned to give her the full details of the numerous disasters they could only laugh about now six years later that seemed to plague their wedding day. It led to Gwen talking about her mother's third wedding and how she knocked over a whole tray of champagne flutes and shattered them all and her step brother fainting while their parents exchanged vows. They swapped horror stories and what ifs as the afternoon wore on, even getting Alnette involved in the conversation, albeit rarely.

"Gwen?" Ivan called her name as they got ready for bed that night. "I have no doubts in my mind that I'm ready to commit myself to you either. I've been in love with you since I dubbed you my curious maid and I have no doubt that I'm going to love you until the end of my life."

"That's going to be an awfully long time," Gwen yawned.

"I hope so."

**A/N: Well folks, I can't say how long it's going to take me to get the next chapter up. I might be a bit wedding'd out after getting married myself in a few days. All I can say is I love my readers and even if you aren't commenting, I see the numbers going up every day and I can only hope you are all enjoying the story. Thank You all for being so awesome.**


	36. Chapter 36

Gwen paced the length of the small antechamber off of the temple of Mithros located inside of the palace. She had been locked in the room since breakfast, since Roald had come for her to get her settled in before Ivan could return to their rooms. It was tradition for the bride and groom to sleep apart at least the night before and it had left Gwen edgy. Faleron had stayed with her, on a pallet in the bedroom per Ivan's request though it had made Gwen extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable at the suggestion. He had been easy to be around for the night but she had missed Ivan's arms around her in bed, soothing her through her nightmares. And the nightmares had been getting worse. She dreamed of all of the ways Maggur could torture Dom, Ivan, Roald, and Kai to control her. If Faleron had woken at all and noticed her tears over the long night, he had the grace not to make a point of it. Ivan himself slept in the sitting room of Dom and Kel's suite across hall to ensure he was guarded as well.

Somewhere in the distance, the bell marking the third hour after midday came and Gwen looked up expectantly at the door. She had bathed, had her hair tortured into a style, had her face painted up, and had eaten two full meals in that small room. All that was left was to don her gown from Lalasa, gather her bouquet from where it sat on a chair by the door, and walk out to meet Dom. Except the gown hadn't arrived yet. She was told to expect it after midday and each hour that the bell rang out, she fidgeted a little more. Kel, who had been locked in the room with her all day, smiled at her edginess.

"Lalasa will get it here and it will be perfect. You've had nearly seven fittings with the thing on. Though I don't know how you can stay standing while wearing it. The thing weighs more than half your weight." Kel had teased Gwen about her extremely heavy gown since she had first had to heft it on to her. In Kel's defense, it did weigh about fifty pounds but Gwen was fairly comfortable with the distribution of the weight.

"With all of your weight training, I wonder how you can question my ability to hold up fabric?" Gwen teased back.

"You're a twig and Ivan will have to carry you back tonight if he can even lift you in that thing." Kel retorted.

"So what is it? Am I too light that I'll break or that I'm too heavy to be carried when adding half of my weight?" She put her hands on her hips in mock frustration making Kel giggle. Before Kel could compose herself for a response the tell-tale knock on the door sent Gwen to the side of the room to wait while Kel went to check on who it was. While they were expecting Lalasa, they couldn't be too careful. After a moment, Kel opened the door to admit the brisk dark woman and Faleron carrying a large package.

"Gwen, this thing has to weigh…" Faleron started but she was already shaking her head in laughter. It seemed that line would never die. After setting the box down, Faleron was evicted from the room and Lalasa set her former mistress to helping Gwen get into the contraption. After several long grueling minutes of being laced into the corset until she couldn't breathe, Gwen was finally able to look at the full effect in the mirror.

The cream colored gown was a tight strapless corset that laced down over her hips in a drop waist. The bead work across her bust that would have been glass and plastic in her world was pearls and diamonds. Then the satin skirts flared out in three tiers to the ground leaving a delicate lace peek-a-boo in the front to break the fullness of the gown. Her skirts were not held out with a wooden farthingale but a built in kremlin of layers upon layers of fabrics. The small train off of the back that appeared to be part of the skirt would be detached after the ceremony to give her a bit easier time walking. Her hair had been curled and pinned into a loose mass at the base of her neck by some eighty or so small metal pins. Her veil was a short silk net that hung just over one eye and was pinned in place with more pearls and diamonds. Her necklace and earrings were loans from Roald in delicate white gold with diamonds in glittering masses. Her face was painted up a completely different way as well. Her pale skin was accented with dark red lips, black lined eyes, and a glittering eye shadow that started dark at her lid and lightened to a pale sparkle at her brow. The whole effect was actually quite stunning and Gwen couldn't help but hope Ivan thought so too.

After she was dressed and some small adjustments were made so everything sat right, Gwen was handed her bouquet of red roses and she waited for the signal she was to go find Ivan in the chapel. As discussed, it was Dom who would be her signal. As the man playing the double role of the man walking her down the aisle and the person standing at her side throughout the ceremony, he was to be the person who came to get her when it was time. And time continued to creep by until the bell rang for a fourth time that afternoon and then more time after that.

Finally the knock came and Kel went to check to make sure that it was Dom before she opened the door. Dom was dressed not as the Captain of the Godssent's Guard but as Domitan of Masbolle in his best black breeches, white shirt, and sapphire blue tunic. The only indication he might be more than just any noble was the sword at his side that she had given him for Midwinter. She smiled at him as he looked her over and she saw him shake his head.

"Well I certainly did not picture this," he told her quietly. "You're beautiful, and if Ivan doesn't notice that, I'll gut him."

"Ivan always says I'm beautiful," Gwen blushed at the compliment. Dom so rarely mentioned her looks anymore that it was the highest praise she could get to hear him say anything. He offered her his arm and she took it while waiting for Kel to adjust the train so it would fall right.

"Are you ready? I mean we could always help you to disappear instead if you'd rather not…" Dom stopped as Gwen elbowed him. It was a joke that had gotten old over the last week. All of her guards had approached either her or Ivan to joke about running away. Not like Gwen really had anywhere to run without getting herself and likely others injured or killed. She stepped out with him feeling her heart pounding slightly. She had stood in front of so many people are the Godssent before and had not batted an eyelash but to stand in front of so many loved ones as herself, without the costume, she was reminded of her old foe: stage fright. She knew she could always get rid of it by putting on a masking of some sort and become another character but that was not what she wanted to do for her wedding. She wanted to give Ivan herself as herself without any disguises.

She heard music and after a moment stepped through the doorway with Dom. Her guards had been placed, out of any obvious uniform, at various points throughout the room to guard various entrances and exits. Amongst the actual guests were Ivan's family, Third Company, the royal family, Duke Baird with Yuki and Karin, Sir Myles, Alanna and George, Raoul and Buri, Erick, the clerks who served her, Daine and Numair, and a line of empty chairs in the back for the Gods if they so chose to arrive. Gwen looked past all of them to meet Ivan's eyes at the front. He smiled at her, curing at least part of her stage fright as she moved forward. Right before the dais Dom stopped her. They hugged tightly and then she waited for Ivan to come forward and shake Dom's hand before he took her hand in his to lead her up before the priestess.

She wasn't aware of much of what was going on until they got to their vows. Ivan said the traditional vows, binding himself to her before the gods and the many formidable witnesses in the room. Gwen on the other hand had had to get creative with her vows as nothing in this world could bind her the way he bound himself.

"Ivan, I cannot bind myself to you with promises to the gods. No god, man, or woman can bind me in oath in this world." She kept her eyes trained on his face. He had read her vows so he knew what she was saying. There was no surprise on his face. "So I bind myself to you with the one thing that I can assure you binds me to you and this world. I bind myself to you with all of the love in my heart and soul." She knew that was the only thing she could offer and it had already led her here when she had so adamantly not wanted a lover. Now she would have a husband. The priestess quickly sealed their vows with their rings and then announced their marriage to the room. The cheer that went up was enormous but they did have Third Company involved. Ivan gave her a good long kiss in front of everyone and then took her arm and pulled her down the aisle back towards the small room she had come from followed by Dom and Drew.

Now came the hard part of the evening. Gwen had to walk through the halls to the crystal ballroom where they would have a small more intimate celebration. Ivan's hand stayed firmly grasping hers as she was wrapped in a cloak of the same material the guards that patrolled her hallway wore. They had already tested it out and while magic did not work on her, it worked _ON_ her. Those who looked at her would forget she had ever been there. Guests trickled off in different directions, all knowing to appear like they had not come from the same place nor where they apparently going to the same place.

Finally Ivan and Gwen received the okay to leave and they walked together through the halls and up to the small ballroom where they would be able to enjoy a small party in their honor with dinner and socializing. They would not dance at this time. That would be for the grand ball that would be held after the public wedding. So Gwen spent most of the night listening to those at the party compliment her strange style and tell her how beautiful she was before Ivan could take her back to their rooms to enjoy a night as husband and wife.

They received two lazy days in which the rest of the world was convinced they were getting ready for the madhouse that would be the wedding on Midsummer. They had already practiced the steps and Gwen and Ivan both knew what they had to say. They had to make vows as Godssent and her Hero. It would be a play for the world to believe was real. Dom had been a great help in writing the scripts of the ceremony. It seemed he did have the mind of a Player in place of Neal who only had the dramatic nature of a Player.

No one bothered them beyond the brief check in to assure they were still alive in those two days giving Ivan and Gwen plenty of time to discover how odd it was to hear the titles of husband and wife. But besides the titles, not much else changed. Ivan and Gwen had been sharing a bed and living space so long that they were very much aware of each other's tendencies and quirks.

On Midsummer, they held off getting ready until last minute. They didn't have to do anything truly special. Gwen was to wear her costume and Ivan his. This would be a performance of memorized lines which the two of them repeated back and forth as they bathed, dressed, armed, and prepared to leave the safety of their rooms. Briefly before they left, Ivan pulled Gwen into his arms to kiss her thoroughly. This would be taking place outside on a platform where they could cram thousands upon thousands of people around. It would be impossible to protect her from all attacks that could be planned or himself from all attacks that could be planned. They had known the difficulties when they had decided on marriage.

It was truly insane the amount of people that had shown up to see her married. Commoner and the Blue Blooded standing side by side on the lawn to witness such a momentous occasion that the gods had foretold. At least this time she and Ivan would walk together up the aisle as in the public view no one else was seemingly high enough ranked to be her escort. Dom and Roald had both offered to be the person at her side. She had considered Dom briefly but had decided against it. Roald would never have been an option despite being her friend. As he was the future ruler of Tortall it was purely on a political basis she turned him down as to not appear to be under Tortall's rule.

So, together hand in hand, they walked up a long winding aisle littered with white and yellow flowers with no guards around them and nothing but a long runner to mark the aisle. The people stood on either side, making a human wall that fell silent as they drew near and passed. By the time they reached the platform where the priestess stood, the crowd had fallen impossibly silent. Even the wild birds of nature seemed to not want to break the silence with their songs. It was in this silence the priestess started. Most of Ivan and Gwen's performance was in gestures rather than words while the priestess had her voice magically amplified so the crowds could hear. Whatever Ivan and Gwen did say was repeated by the priestess in order for everyone to know what exactly was happening. It took nearly half an hour to go through the entire ceremony but eventually they were named husband and wife. The silence over the crowds broke into a deafening cheer.

As Ivan took her arm to lead her off of the stage, Gwen thought about all of the things the night would hold for them. From here they would walk down the aisle, back into the castle, and into a grand ballroom where they would wine and dine with the political side of things and friends. Notable people from around the world and representatives of guilds, foreign royalty, the odd bard or two looking to make a tale of the wedding itself. After that, they would lead the way into yet another grand ballroom where they would take the first dance. Then and Ivan would take seats on a dais and listen to all of the wonderful wishes that people had for them in their lives together while others enjoyed the dance floor and festivities.

But they didn't make it past the edge of the platform. As they neared the place where Ivan would step down first and would turn to reach up for her, a shadow fell over them. Somewhere in the distance the cheers were turning to horrifying screams. While one lone hurrok was nothing to necessarily worry about, it was the man on its back that had people worried. Maggur himself rode alone with his armor glinting and his blade raised as he neared them. It wasn't her eyes he was meeting though as he drew nearer and it only took a few seconds for Gwen to realize he wasn't after her this time, he was after Ivan. He was going to use Ivan to control her, he was going to torture Ivan if she didn't come for him and do exactly as he wanted at all times. And as Maggur's hand came down to grab for Ivan's armored arm that still rested on hers, she realized quite plainly that she wasn't about to stand by and just let that happen. With force very few knew she had, she turned and shoved Ivan back off of the platform into the crowd. She saw the realization in his face for only a split second before the hand seized on her arm and suddenly she was going up and away. Before they could get too high, Maggur pulled her up in front of him, ensuring there was no escape and no chance she could accidentally fall to her death.

**A/N: Okay so no evil kings came and stole me away from my husband on a hurrok during my wedding, thank goodness. But almost everything went off without a hitch and now I am a happily married woman hoping to get this story on a roll again. I appreciate those who gave nice wishes for my wedding and of course all of those who read, and those who review. You guys are awesome.**


	37. Chapter 37

Maggur had yet to say anything to her, though they had been flying for nearly half an hour. It had given her time to think. First she had thought about how a hurrok had managed to get so close with so many warriors around. Then she had realized that no one would shoot at a hurrok with the chance of missing and hitting any number of people in the crowd. Then she wondered briefly about what Maggur was going to do with her this time now that he had her in his grasp again. Would she be going back to a prison cell or gilded cage? She wasn't sure which one would be better.

Mostly she thought about Ivan and hoped he understood what she had done. She hoped he wouldn't be the one to come after her this time. If he came, then he was falling right into Maggur's trap and she would be at the bloody king's mercy in order to keep her love, her husband alive. She hoped that it wouldn't be Dom or Roald coming for her either. They would put her in much of the same position. She wondered briefly if this would cause a war. How much more proof did the other countries need that she was kidnapped by the Scanran King than seeing him do it right there on her wedding day with tens of thousands of witnesses?

As the time drifted into a silent hour a new thought dawned on Gwen. What if the other countries wouldn't go to war because it was the gods holding them back? What if Maggur wasn't meant to be killed by armies or other rulers? What if Maggur was meant to be killed by someone sent to make a positive change in the world? What if Maggur was meant to be killed by her? It wasn't a pleasant thought. She had never taken a life before and she even felt absolutely terrible for killing spiders though she hated them with a passion. She had always thought it was a bad thing to kill but what if killing someone saved future wars' worth of lives, a country's worth of lives, the world's worth of lives. She knew what he wanted of her. He wanted to use her to take over the other countries, dominating them one by one and subjecting them to his rule with her as his only hostage. She could take a life to stop that, couldn't she?

Yes. She could. But it would have to be done before they landed. She had a feeling that even with Maggur dead the hurrok would still take her to Scanra. She would stand before the people of Scanra and tell them their king was dead and she was there to ensure a better king would take his place. She was the Godssent; it gave her at least a fifty-fifty chance of being listened to. But there was little she could do to kill him in the air. He had a weapon and she was certain if she made a grab for it, he'd notice. She did not have weapons, in order to honor her image as a benign being on her wedding day. No, the only way she would have to kill him was with the height itself and the only way to get him off of the hurrok would be to shove back as hard as she could and let the momentum carry them both off of the behind of the hurrok.

She had always been afraid of heights. Rather, she was afraid of the fall, or really even the landing itself. She was afraid of death and pain. But she was more afraid of what Maggur would do if he was allowed to live. She didn't want to give herself time to think anymore. If she thought more, she'd think of Ivan and the fact they had only been married for a few very short days before she would die. She'd think of Roald who saw her as a friend, guide, and divine being at times that helped him better the world for his people. She'd think of Kai who was ripe to learn while he was still young and could be molded into one of the best kings of all of history. She would think of Dom and Kel and the children they would one day have that she would not be around to see. She would think of Neal and Yuki and their children. She would think of all of the people that were counting on the Godssent to help them. No, she couldn't give herself that chance to think. Instead she took a deep breath and as she exhaled, she shoved back with a shout.

Maggur was caught off guard and she felt his body shift behind her and then with a surprised yell, he was moving backwards and away from her. Then his hand hooked around her waist and she felt the hurrok's body roll out from under her. Then they were weightless and Maggur let his grip on her go. His armor made him plummet like a stone while she, in her much lighter robes, left her falling just a fraction slower. She reached up to her neck where the necklace Ivan gave her still hung and she gripped it hard enough that it bit into her palm. She closed her eyes as the ground neared. She didn't want to see the end. Instead, she imagined Ivan's face as it had been when he had helped her out of her wedding gown and laid her down on the bed for the first time as his wife as she braced for the impact.

She expected a brief second of pain, a moment of realization where death gripped her soul and pulled it from her broken body, anything other than the sensation of the ground ripping apart under her body like thin fabric. She opened her eyes as her body plunged feet first into water cold enough to shock her body into movement. Instinct took over and she let go of the necklace and started to kick and move her arms to bring herself back to the surface. As she broke through, she glanced around to find herself in a vaguely familiar place: the Waters of Life. Above her a light shone down through a hole in the roof of the cave, showing where her body had ripped between the worlds. She swam not towards the shores but towards the base of the tree on the other side where she knew she could possibly climb up and reach the hole. If anything she could try and climb through and reach Tortall once more. As she lifted herself out of the water she realized very briefly that the only things she was wearing was the necklace Ivan had given her and the ring he had given her. Beyond that not one stitch of clothing had come between the worlds with her. It would be something she hoped to correct before facing other people again.

The tree itself hummed under her hands with raw energy and it filled her very being as she placed both palms on the tree. She felt a thousand worlds' worth of life and energy flowing through her like they had been the seeds of her existence and she was the Tree of Life and not simply a small, insignificant being touching the base of it. She felt wise, ancient, unbreakable all at once. But no, she wasn't a tree. She was a human who needed to return home and after some time she was able to realize that enough to break the tree's hold on her body. Quickly she located the branch and the way up to it and scrambled up before the tree's power could grip her again. Then she was at the hole and it was already starting to close. She jumped up gripping the edge of the hole and pulled herself up and through.

She felt briefly like Alice from Alice in Wonderland as she came through the hole to fall sideways out of a pillar. She hit the marble floor and sighed as she sat up. She found herself in a familiar place she was not quite pleased to be: the Court of the Gods. At least this was the right world but that she wasn't back in the mortal realms could mean so many things. They could be sending her home now that she had eliminated one of the largest threats to peace and the slow moving equality. They could be sending her home for assuming she knew what they wanted and killing a king. They could be only there to tell her she truly was dead. She did at least know it had something to do with Maggur because his blood stained armor lay on the marble floor next to her as the hole between the worlds sealed completely shut just above her.

The thrones of the Gods filled in around her as more and more of them arrived to see her addressed. But no one spoke. Oddly she did not feel uncomfortable facing the gods in not but her skin and jewelry. Mithros, the Goddess, and the Black God were all still missing from their thrones and Gwen only had to guess the three of them were the only ones that needed to be present for what was to be said to her. The bloody armor on the floor made her feel guilty. She had been responsible for the ending of a life. She wasn't sure how long she stewed in her guilt as she stared at the bloody armor, the three empty thrones, and the place where the hole in the worlds had been above her. It felt like seconds, but then like days, and then like years until she felt a chilling hand touch her shoulder. She looked up into the shadow of a face that belonged to the Dark God and couldn't help but hang her head like a shamefaced child.

"It was not my right to take his life," she whispered, feeling in every part of her being that it was bad she had killed someone, but there was something else inside of her the rose up and more words rushed to her mouth before she could stop herself. "But I'd do it again under the circumstances. He was a terrible person that only was king to make himself more powerful. He did nothing good for his people, causing only pain and misery even to those loyal to him." She stuck her nose up and jutted her small chin out in the most stubborn fashion she could imagine. She hadn't exactly meant to say it all but now that it was said, she knew she had accurately described his nature and she would do it again if she was faced with another Maggur.

"We have seen all he has done and all you have experienced at this man's hands," the Goddess' voice drew her attention. "His punishment in the afterlife has been discussed and it has already begun to be carried out. As one of his many victims, know that we are punishing him justly."

"It is you that we must find a place for now," Mithros spoke calmly. Gwen felt her heart stop. She was dead and she would go to the Black God's realms only to be punished for the life she took and all of the bad she had done in life. Maybe her punishment wouldn't be as bad. She had done so much to try and make up for her mistakes in life. And maybe, one day, she would get to see Ivan again. Would he remarry by then? Would he have a new love, a family, and forget all about her by then? Maybe that would be punishment enough, to go eternity watching the one that you promised your love and life to with another.

"Your punishment for knowingly killing another human being and admitting a willingness to do so again, under the circumstances of course, is to return to Tortall and resume your place as the Godssent. Your punishment includes continuing to spread the word of peace and equality while creating your own blood line to carry on your message after you have grown old and have died a natural death." The Goddess' voice was somewhat amused as Gwen looked up in shock.

"I believe your husband has been missing you," Mithros told her kindly. The Black God reached his hand down and suddenly she was on her feet again and was standing in an empty hallway. This was her hallway, the hallway her guards lived in. It was night judging by the darkness, and late judging by the quiet as she moved along the doorways. How much time had passed? It could have been merely hours or even months. Time was different between the worlds and even between the Realm of the Gods and the mortal realm. The door at the end of the hall, her door, was open, light and quiet voices spilling out as Gwen drew nearer.

"To Gwen. Godssent, friend, wife, sister, daughter, and teacher. May she rest in peace." That was Dom's quiet voice and she could hear as cups clanked together to acknowledge the toast. So they thought she was dead. No, they knew she was dead. Enough time had passed for them to realize Maggur was gone and so was she. How long would it have taken to identify Maggur's body? What had been left behind of her to identify? Her clothing maybe as she was still without it. She wouldn't know unless she asked and she certainly wouldn't be asking that question any time soon. Instead she moved forward and leaned against the door frame to look in on all of her guards, Ivan, Sir Raoul, Duke Baird, Roald, and Sir Myles gathered around toasting to her memory. It would be touching, if she was really dead. Something barely substantial settled around her shoulders and Gwen realized she was being wrapped in a black cloak to hide her nudity. Looking up she saw the Black God at her side and gave him a smile, finding her courage building inside of her again.

"I'll rest just fine I believe," Gwen found her voice at last. It was slow at first. One pair of eyes looking up to take in her appearance, then two, then four, then everyone as they all turned to look at the source of the voice and connected the words to what had been said before. Ivan said nothing as he set his cup was set down. He did not break eye contact with her as he made his way over to her. There was no trace of smile on his face, no hint of laughter in his eyes as he stopped inches from her. He had several gray hairs visible and one or two wrinkles starting around his mouth. That was all she had time to notice before he reached out to touch her cheek and then, discovering she was real and not some illusion or ghost, he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Are you back or are you just saying goodbye?" Roald asked quietly nodding behind her. She glanced up to see the Black God still with her and clearly visible to those in the room as they all stared at him.

"My punishment stands?" She addressed her question to the god. The hooded figure nodded and then reached down to wrap Ivan's arms a little tighter around her before disappearing on the spot. In Ivan's arms everything caught up with her. It seemed like it had been ages before that she had been standing on the platform with Ivan miming out a pledge of eternity to him. Ages ago that she had killed Maggur. Ages since she had climbed the Tree of Life. Ages before that she had spoken to the gods. The time finally took a toll on her and her body slumped against the safety of Ivan's embrace.

"Is she… dead… now?" Neal asked as Ivan shifted to lift Gwen's body up. He looked up, seemingly surprised by the others in the room and by the question.

"No, she's sleeping. I'm guessing she's had a long journey since we parted. Goddess and Mithros know that committing regicide, dying, and suddenly reappearing would wear any normal human out for weeks." Ivan smiled down at the sleeping woman in his arms. "I'm betting she'll be up and wondering where her clerks are in about three days."

"I'll bet you 10 gold crowns that it's two," Dom said after a moment causing a laugh from those in the room. "Ivan, I believe it's time you take your wife to bed."


	38. Epilogue

A sudden loss of warmth drew Gwen out of her dreams back to reality. The thick comforter she always insisted on even in the middle of summer did little to warm her after Ivan left her alone in the bed. She opened her eyes to locate her husband only to find him pulling on clothing at the edge of the bed. The window showed the sky glowing pink with the dawn.

"Why are you getting dressed?" She demanded, wanting him back under the covers with her so she could sleep some more. Even with Maggur gone she still had nightmares of what he had done and all he had threatened to do. And Ivan chased those nightmares away each night. He turned to glance at her, flashing her an apologetic smile.

"Some of us need to get up and make appearances while you are bound to these rooms," Ivan teased her. She sat up and crossed her arms at his pointing out she was bound to their suite. Indulging her briefly, Ivan sat back down and kissed her thoroughly before moving his hand to caress the growing swell in her belly. "We have to ensure your mother gets enough rest so you can grow big and strong."

"You know I did just fine with Daniel and this one will be no different," Gwen mentioned their three year old son in hopes that it would calm Ivan down. He only raised his eyebrows at her. She had miscarried twice in between Daniel and her current pregnancy. But now she was six months along and all threats of a miscarriage were long gone. Now he was just being overly cautious with her, as were all of her guards. Not that she needed guards anymore. It was more of an honorary station at this point that paid well and required very little other than being parade ready at any time. Gwen herself and Ivan had given up on being parade ready once they had had their first child. Gwen had abandoned the face paints and customary mask she had created the moment it had been announced she had come back from killing Maggur. Privately she referred to it as "Godssent 2.0, less flash and more function" but never explained the origin of the joke.

"Ivan?" A small voice from the door made both Gwen and Ivan look. It was Kai, now nine years old and almost the spitting image of his father except for the almond shape to his dark eyes. "Father said you need to hurry up. You've got meetings, meetings, and more meetings."

"As soon as my wife lets me go," Ivan informed the boy solemnly. Roald had discovered almost as soon as Kai was old enough to carry messages reliably that using him as a messenger back to their bedroom would have more positive results than sending anyone else. Kai gave them a rare grin and then left to tell his father exactly what had been said.

"He'll be a page next year. I wonder who Roald will send out to get us then," Gwen mused knowing that Roald did not dare use their little boy Daniel because he would come back to their room and not come back out. He always sided with Gwen and Ivan over anyone else. Not even Dom, the boy's godsfather, could get him to shake his loyalty. Sending Dom and Kel's son and daughter would not do them well either. Gwen could easily distract the two of them with stories and songs. Karin, Jadelyn, and Karin's little brother Gramm, could all be bribed off with Ivan offering to show them more combat moves. Karin would be going into page training in the next year too though it caused her father a heart attack and left him unable to make coherent sentences for a week when she announced it.

"To get me. You, my love, are supposed to be resting. No running around." He kissed her lips and then kissed her belly once before he got up to finish getting dressed and went to do his meetings. But with Ivan gone from the bed, she wouldn't sleep anymore so she got up as well, dressed in loose skirt and a loose shirt that allowed for her belly before going out to the sitting room. With the potential birth of a second child, more remodeling had been done to her wing of the castle. Their rooms now encompassed the entire end of the hallway since Dom and Kel had moved out with the birth of their second child. With the addition of an entire second suite Gwen had turned one sitting room into a formal dining room that could easily seat up to twenty, had converted one bedroom into a full nursery open to all of her guards' children as well as her own, and multiple other bedrooms because Ivan informed her two children would simply just not be enough to carry on her teachings. She had not the heart to tell him that Baird and Neal had both told her it was more than likely she was carrying twins with the size she was for as far along as she was. She didn't get to surprise Ivan often and it would be a lovely shock for the poor man.

Ivan stopped at the door when he saw her come out to the sitting room. He gave her one long look that told her once again to not push herself. She did hate worrying him so she made a point for him to see she was heading to the dining room where she would eat breakfast and she held up a book for him to see as she passed: her book of fairy tales. It was a clear sign she meant to spend the day in the nursery. He came back to kiss her once more and then left following Roald down the hall. While she was weighed down with pregnancy it was nice to at least be free of meetings. Somehow she was always less patient with diplomats while she had another human growing inside of her.

As Gwen moved to the nursery after breakfast she looked around at the sheer number of children running around. While Kai and Karin did not need to be in a nursery anymore they were frequent visitors, often instigating games and telling stories to the younger children. Kel and Dom's two were frequent visitors as well. Jadelyn, Gramm, and several two year olds belonging to Owen, Faleron, and Esmond were also added to her collection. Jadelyn and Kai's younger siblings stuck to their own nursery though Roald assured Gwen she would be their tutor when they were old enough to understand what she was saying. No, she didn't need to have a brood of her own children like Ivan threatened, to carry her messages out into the world and throughout time. She was doing just fine where she was.

"How about a story?" She asked drawing the attention of the children to her. They flocked over to the rocking chair she always sat on when she was reading. "Now where were we?" She asked.

"Where the Godssent's Hero rescues her from the evil king!" Kai cried out. She smiled at him and opened the story book to the page of a man in glittering golden armor. The likeness wasn't too far from Ivan but the artist had been a bit imaginative in both his depiction of the Godssent's Hero and the Godssent herself. She had coauthored the book with Sir Myles knowing that the best way to change the future was with things that children would remember. And children certainly remembered stories. So her lessons were taught as stories that involved the Godssent and her Hero as they encountered many struggles. Each small story had a lesson that she wanted to teach.

She knew this story by heart. It was one of the few that were mostly true. The real details of the story were masked to barely violent actions. Where Maggur had whipped her, she said he beat her and kept the details of the welts and wounds to herself. She kept details like rape and the gruesome details of dying from infection from the story altogether. One day when the children were older they would ask what had really happened, and maybe someone would tell them.

As she read the story she met Kai's warm, dark eyes. At nine he already knew the full details of the story, why his loving tutor as a child had so often been missing, why he had been guarded so closely for half a year. She knew his father had told him everything he asked about and more about the woman the world worshipped as a walking goddess of change but had always been just Gwen to him. Kai knew about her ever fading father who couldn't remember even her birthday or middle name by the time she left. He knew about her mother and the terrible fights that had marred her childhood. He knew about her brother and the violent physical and mental abuse he pushed on her and her sister. He knew about her sister and how she had broken without a hero of her own or a place to retreat to like she herself had found in the books of Tortall.

He did not know, just like not even Ivan knew, that she had stepped into this world knowing it was a fictional story in her world. That particular fact was a secret she would never tell. Not because it would be deeply upsetting to discover you were nothing more than a character dreamed up by strange far away person, but because this world was more real to her than her own and always had been. She had experienced far more love in the family she had gathered here. She had a true companion in Ivan who she still loved deeply after all of these years.

She looked up from the pages as the story ended to meet her own son's light blue eyes not unlike Ivan's but very much a match to her own sister's. "Because everyone needs a hero."

**A/N: And that's all folks. I appreciate you all sticking with me through the story. It's taken a lot of twists and turns and many of them have alternate story lines attached to them in what I'd like to call the "alternative godssent files". I'm not sure if I'll pick up Gwen and Ivan as cha****racters again (though all of my main original female characters in my writing are named Gwen) so don't be alarmed if my next writing is about a Gwen and it sounds nothing like this one. You all have been great!**


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